by Ovidia Pike
“I should look at your shoulder one more time,” I said, reaching to pull up his sleeve. He stopped me with a cutting look, pulling away from me.
“It’s fine,” he said, standing up. “See you around.”
“Okay,” I said. “Come back if—”
“Bye, doc,” he said, and left me behind in the hut. My heart pounded in my chest so hard that I thought it would break out as I watched him go. I thought about how relieved I had been when he’d woken up from his coma and how good it had felt to kiss him. I flinched with an almost physical pain when I remembered it, then felt actual pain, a sharp cramp in my belly. I sank down into my chair, taking a deep breath, but was barely able to exhale when another contraction hit.
“Shit,” I said, nearly gagging with the pain, gripping my stomach as I forced myself to stand up. I grabbed the bag I had prepared and slung it over my shoulder, then hurried as fast as I could to Lily’s hut. I knocked on the door and it only took one look at me to know what was happening.
“Okay, it’s okay,” she said, looking back over her shoulder. “Nathaniel, baby’s coming.”
“Sure thing,” he said, and I saw him appear over her shoulder.
“You really don’t have to do this,” I said to them in embarrassment, but Lily gave me a stern look.
“You’re not walking a mile in labor,” she said, and we started to walk toward the edge of the village. We stopped as soon as we crossed into the woods and Nathaniel lifted me into his arms, carrying me like a doll through the woods. Another contraction shook my body, then another, and I let out a cry as Lily took my dangling hand.
“Thirty minutes, honey,” Lily said. “We’ll be at the hospital in a half an hour.”
“God,” I panted, not knowing how long I would make it. My vision went dark as they slid me into the backseat of the Jeep and I closed my eyes, keeping them closed the whole ride to the hospital. I didn’t even notice that the car had stopped before Lily had opened the door and hurried around to me, helping me out of the vehicle.
“You got this,” she whispered in my ear. “Okay? I’ll be right here.”
“Okay,” I gasped. As soon as we checked in, I was wheeled back. The pain was blinding, blurring everything around me. Nathaniel stayed in the waiting room while Lily followed me back to the delivery area. She squeezed my hand as the nurses surrounded me, and for the next hour I was lost to the pain. It felt like it went on and on, and I pushed the baby out, dazed, trying not to scream. The next thing I knew I had slumped into the bed, and Lily let go of my hand, and then there was a baby girl in my arms. I looked down at her face, her thick, dark hair, full lips that looked just like mine, just like my sister and my mother’s. I started to weep as I bent down to kiss her forehead, then passed her off to Lily, whose cheeks were streaked with tears. Lily’s face burst into a smile as she kissed the baby on the top of her head.
“Want to name her?” Lily asked. I shook my head.
“You do it,” I whispered. “Please.”
“Okay,” Lily said, staring down at her face. “I think she looks like an Alex. Alexandria.”
“Perfect,” I said, closing my eyes. “I’m so tired.”
“Sleep, honey,” Lily said. “I’ll feed her. I’ll take care of her. Always.”
“Thank you,” I muttered, before falling into sleep.
Alex and I were released from the hospital a couple of days later, and Nathaniel and Lily wheeled me to the car, helping me get into the backseat. I stared at the baby’s face, sleeping peacefully, as we drove back to the park. Nathaniel carried the baby as we made our way through the woods, holding the high chair, occasionally glancing down at her with a smile on his face. As soon as we got back to the village, we went to their hut, where Lily carefully pulled Alex out of her seat and laid her in her crib. She turned to me, reading the look on my face with sympathetic eyes as we left the room. She took my hand, holding it tightly, looking into my eyes.
“You come here any time you want. Even if it’s the middle of the night. I will never keep you from seeing her.”
“Thank you,” I said, taking a deep breath to steady my shaking voice.
“And if you ever want her back—”
“I won’t,” I choked out, and suddenly felt the need to get away. I told her goodbye and nearly ran back to the medical hut, though my body was aching and exhausted. I was glad that I didn’t see anybody on the way, especially Jackson, who I knew would be able to read the anguish I felt leaving my baby behind.
Chapter 18: Jackson
I spent the next few weeks avoiding Alicia entirely, going nowhere near the medical hut, not wanting to even catch a glimpse of her face. Every time I did, it hurt even worse, remembering that I could never have her, that she never wanted to touch me again. I stayed away from her for that reason, keeping myself busy as best as I could, going into the woods and hunting again despite Gabriel’s warning. Often, he would command me to do something, and I usually did it without question. But I refused to give into him and take a partner out into the forest—it didn’t matter what happened to me, if I was attacked, killed. Nothing mattered anymore but keeping my mind from wandering to what I had lost.
I made my way back to the village as it started to get dark, pausing when I heard someone crying, a woman’s voice filled with sadness. I recognized it as hers immediately, and crept forward, looking around for her as I walked. I caught a glimpse of her outside of Lily and Nathaniel’s hut, hunched over, face buried in her hands as she sobbed. No one went to her, no one tried to comfort her. There was no one around but me. Despite myself, the sound of her crying compelled me forward. I hurried to her, taking her face in my hands.
“What’s wrong, Alicia?” I asked her. She opened her puffy eyes and looked up at me, filled with sorrow.
“I’m so sorry,” she gasped between sobs, burying her face in my chest as I wrapped my arms around her.
“It’s okay,” I said softly. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“It is,” she insisted, and then began to cry even harder. I held her tight, kissing the top of her head, stroking her silky hair with my hand.
“Talk to me, doc,” I said to her. “Tell me what’s wrong. I will fix it for you. I promise you I will.”
She sniffled, wiping her eyes as she looked up at my face. She tilted hers up to kiss me, then turned away without a word and started to jog toward the medical hut. I watched her go in confusion, then decided to knock on Lily’s door. It took her a long moment to answer, and when she did, there was a baby in her arms, the niece she had brought back with her a few weeks before.
“Hi, Lily,” I said to her. “I was just—Alicia was out here crying, and—”
I cut myself off when my eyes traveled to the baby’s face. The little girl was staring at me with big, brown, almond-shaped eyes, full lips and the same thick, dark hair as Alicia’s. There was no mistaking it, no way to deny. My eyes darted back up to Lily’s face.
“She’s—”
“Her name is Alex,” she said softly.
“She’s mine. Ours,” I said, looking back down at the baby. “Is she?”
“Yes,” Lily said. “She’s yours. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.”
“Alicia told you not to tell me?” I asked incredulously. “She was...pregnant?”
“She’s been hiding it. She didn’t want anyone to know,” Lily said, studying my face. She offered the baby to me.
“Do you want to hold your daughter?” she asked.
“My daughter,” I breathed, reaching for her, cradling her gently in my arms. Alicia’s beautiful face stared back at me with curious eyes.
“I promised Alicia I wouldn’t tell you.”
“I would have found out,” I said. “I would have known the minute I saw her.”
“I know,” Lily said. “She looks just like her mother.”
“She does,” I marveled, touching the baby’s soft cheek. I looked at Lily again.
“I need to talk to
Alicia,” I said, begrudgingly passing the baby to Lily again. “I have to talk to her.”
“Okay,” Lily said with a nod. I turned to go but she stopped me by putting a hand on my arm.
“She’s yours if you want her,” she said. “Even if Alicia doesn’t. She’s yours, okay?”
“Thank you,” I said, unable to find any other words for her. I turned away then and hurried toward the medical hut, breaking into a jog, throwing the door open when I got there. Alicia turned to me with wide eyes and I went to her, taking her face in my hands, kissing her deeply. She allowed me to linger for a long moment before she pulled away.
“Why did you hide her from me?” I asked her, searching her face for answers. She burst into tears but I wiped them away, taking her hand, guiding her over to sit down on the bed.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I just—I felt like I had to. I had no choice. I know you’re angry and you deserve to be, but—”
“I’m not angry at you, Alicia,” I said to her. “Not at all.”
“But I...lied to you. I kept her from you.”
“I know,” I said. “But I’m still not angry. I know how...afraid you are to be with me. I’ve seen that fear in your eyes. A baby would bond us together for life.”
“I just couldn’t do that,” she said. “I just can’t—”
“Please tell me why you can’t be with me,” I said to her. She sniffed and looked up at me.
“I don’t like how I feel when I’m with you. I don’t like feeling so out of control. It’s like I have no say in what I do or what my body does. I don’t feel safe. I feel like I’ll lose myself in you. I’m a doctor. I help people. I can control that. I can fix them. I can’t seem to control myself with you, Jackson. I can’t take that.”
“Baby, you don’t need to control yourself with me. You shouldn’t be controlling yourself this much at all. You have to let go sometimes—and this bond between us—”
“There is no bond,” she said. I shook my head.
“You know better. You are my natural mate, doc. I knew it the moment I kissed you. And so did you. That’s why you feel so out of control. Your body wants to bond with mine. Your heart wants to be bound to me. It won’t always feel this way. I wish you would have let me explain that to you a long time ago.”
“What do you mean?” she asked. “And I didn’t want to—I’ve been so afraid.”
“I know,” I said. “If we bond, it’ll cool down. You’ll feel calmer. It won’t feel so urgent.”
“How do you know?” she asked, wiping her tears away. Her voice was curious rather than distressed.
“That’s how it works. Your desire for me is like a fever. Everything we do is supposed to draw us together. We’re meant to be together. You know that.”
“You mean if we...bond...we can be together without me being so...out of control?” she asked. “I just don’t want to feel like that all the time. Everything feels so urgent. All I want is for you to touch me. All the time. All I want is to kiss you.”
“You can kiss me whenever you want,” I said, pushing a strand of hair back from her face. “But it won’t feel like you need to.”
She stared into my eyes, reached up to touch my jaw with her fingers.
“Her name is Alex,” she said, her bottom lip trembling.
“She’s beautiful,” I said. “She’s ours.”
“She’s ours,” she repeated as I lowered my face to kiss her softly, a kiss that deepened within seconds, her tongue slipping into my mouth to taste me hungrily.
“Okay,” she said against my lips. “Okay, I want it.”
“Do you want it, or does your body want it?”
“I...love you,” she said. “Do you love me, Jackson?”
“More than anything, doc. You and our daughter.”
“Okay,” she said, looking into my eyes. “So make love to me.”
“Doctor’s orders?” I asked her, and she laughed, biting her lip.
“Yes,” she said with a sparkling smile. “Doctor’s orders.”
“I think I can do that,” I said, kissing her again as I reached down to pull her shirt over her head. Her breasts were round and ripe, a soft curve where her belly had been stretched. She gave me a shy look and wrapped her arms around her middle, hiding the marks there, looking slightly embarrassed. I took her chin in my hand and tilted her face to look at me.
“You are perfect,” I said to her. “Even more beautiful than the last time.”
“Really?” she asked in an innocent voice that pierced my chest, making the love I had for her swell even more deeply.
“Yes,” I replied, taking her hands, pulling them away from her body. I kissed her fingers and pressed her gently backward onto the bed, kissing her neck, her naked shoulder, placing tender kisses on her breasts. I traced the marks on her belly with my fingers, brushing my lips over them, drowning myself in the beauty of her body as I reached to pull down her skirt, tossing it aside along with her panties. I climbed on top of her and spread her legs, nuzzling the inside of her thigh. She shivered and her breath caught in her throat as soon as I brought my mouth to her pussy, slipping my tongue up and down her lower lips.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said, trying to shut her legs. I held them open, looking up to see that shy look on her face.
“Not if you don’t want to,” she said. I grinned at her, shaking my head.
“Nothing in the world will ever taste better to me than my natural mate,” I said to her, my voice coming out gruff, wanting so badly to devour her and make her cum. The hesitance in her body told me to take it easy and slow, so I kissed her pussy lips softly, swiping at them with my tongue again.
“Gonna make your pussy nice and wet,” I said to her. “I don’t want to hurt you if you’re still sore.”
“Okay,” she said. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” I countered, kissing her pussy again, then again before slipping my tongue into her to gather as much of her moisture as I could on my tongue. I started to lick her pussy in a rhythm then, one that she began to respond to by rocking her hips against my face. I gripped them in my hands and held her still, making her whimper.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t help it.”
“Don’t—god, don’t be sorry,” I responded. “I just don’t want this to get rough, and when you do that—”
“What?” she asked.
“It makes me need to fuck you. I need that,” I said to her. She reached down and took my face in her hands, pulling me up so that she could meet my mouth with hers. I stripped out of my clothes as I covered her body with my own, spreading her thighs, slipping my cock between her folds and grinding it against her clit.
“So you want to be fucked?” I asked her. “Is that what you want?”
She lowered her hand, took my cock in it and started stroking the head with her thumb.
“Yes,” she said in a whisper, taking my cock as she had before, guiding it into her pussy. It was swollen and tight around me, gripping me firmly as I started to thrust into her slowly, not wanting to hurt her. Our bond grew and throbbed between us, and I felt it surge through my skin; I could tell she felt it too by the way she shivered and gushed over my cock. She chewed on her lip as she started to move against me, driven by the same need that fueled my every stroke.
“Slow down, doc,” I whispered to her. “Take it easy, baby. Your body is healing.”
“This feels perfect,” she said. “No pain. There’s no pain. I promise.”
“But—”
“Jackson, please stop being so sweet and fuck me,” she whimpered, and I burst into laughter.
“I need it,” she said, gripping my hips in her hands, pulling me as deep and close as I could go. My hips sped up despite my reluctance, and soon we were pushing against each other, hard and fast and urgent. I felt her body tremble as she came, growing almost overwhelmed by the way our bond glowed and grew. She let out a loud cry, her hips jerking aga
inst mine, and I didn’t slow down for a moment, knowing that we had to keep going until the bond was complete.
“Was that it?” she asked, her body swelling against mine.
“Not yet,” I said to her. “We have to keep going.”
“Thank god,” she said in a breathy voice, kissing my mouth as I continued to ride against her. Our bond grew each time she came, until it was a constant connection, until I could feel her deep, deep inside of me. When I knew it was finished, I finally came inside of her, held her against me as she shuddered with one more orgasm and went still. The whole world seemed to sparkle as I pulled away to look at her face.
“How do you feel?” I asked.
“Calm,” she said with a satisfied sigh. “Finally calm.”
“Not so frantic?” I asked. She took my hand and placed it over her heart.
“I’ll always be a little frantic for you, I think,” she said. “But I don’t mind anymore.”
“Good,” I said, kissing her again. I pulled her against me as I rolled to my side, holding her close to me, looking into her eyes.
“I love you,” I said to her. “Always.”
“I love you, too,” she said, her eyes filling with sadness.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you regret it?”
“No, I just—my family. My sister. My parents will never forgive me for this.”
“Don’t tell them. They don’t have to know,” I said. “Pretend I don’t exist to you anymore. Don’t even tell your sister until she’s free from them. She’s close, baby. A couple more years and she’s out of there.”
“You don’t mind if I still go see them?” she asked. “Even after what my father said to you?”
“You need to keep seeing your sister,” I opined. “I don’t like your father, but I know now that you don’t believe what he does. You were just scared.”
“I was scared,” she said. “Not anymore.”
“Good,” I said, kissing her again. “Let’s get some sleep.”
“But Alex—”
“We’ll get her tomorrow. Rest,” I said. She nodded, snuggling against me, and fell asleep in a few moments. I followed her shortly after, holding her in my arms.
