"Good," he sighed, relieved. He sat back on her bed. "Darling, if you had a chance to save someone you loved very much from death, would you do it?"
"Yes," she said softly, thinking of how she would have given her life to protect Ethan and how she knew he did everything he could to protect her.
"There was a time when one of my ancestors, and yours, was given that choice. Perhaps he did not choose wisely, but he traded his soul for that of his beloved to the devil himself. But the devil is not to be trusted. He did not take the man's life completely, only the part that made him human."
"His soul?" she asked.
"Yes. Now, naturally, no one wants to die. So in order to keep living, this man had to consume the blood of the truly living in order to survive."
"How awful," she said, covering her mouth.
"Victoria," he said, taking her hand, "you and I are descendants of that man, and we have inherited his curse." He paused to let the information seep in.
She got out of the bed and put on her robe and slippers. "How can this be?" she asked. "We need blood to survive? I don't understand."
"Yes, dear," he said. "I must drink blood or I would die…and so would you."
She groaned at the thought of drinking human blood. It was disgusting and explicitly forbidden by God. "Wait. All this time, I have been drinking blood? When? How?"
"Helena puts the blood into your food," he said.
"I'm going to be sick," she said, turning away and putting her hand to her mouth. She had been eating blood. Was that why the food at the inn was not very satisfying? Did she need blood to survive? "Human…human blood?" she was almost too afraid of the answer to ask. Her father's silence was all the answer she needed. She ran over to her chamber pot and retched into the bowl.
"Why?" she screamed at him. "Why did you do this to me? Why did you…why did you have me?"
"I thought I found a way to break the curse," he said, kneeling by her side and holding her hair back. "I had to mate with a human and produce an heir of both bloods."
She sat back and took a few breaths to calm her stomach and her mind. "But…it didn't…It didn't work, did it?" she asked, trying to follow what he was telling her. "You passed the curse on."
"It is not complete," he said. "You are unique. You possess the benefits, I mean, the traits of both worlds. You don't realize it yet because you are not fully mature, but you are strong and powerful in so many ways. Yet you have the freedom to almost coexist with the humans. The power to break the curse now passes to you. You must mate with another pureblood…not a human. Your heir will be our salvation."
She stood and poured herself a drink of water from the carafe on her dressing table. "What if I don't want to marry this…'pureblood' you call him?" she asked defiantly.
"Then I will be forced to walk the earth for eternity consuming the blood of the living to survive. If I die without a soul, where do you think I will be spending eternity? And your mother's sacrifice will all be in vain."
"My mother?" she asked.
"Yes, she knew the truth. But some of the humans in the village, they did not want her to help us. After the villagers learned that you were not fully human, some tried to kill you. She died protecting you."
"You mean the accident, when I burned in the sun," she prompted him.
"Yes, that was when we realized another step was needed. The sun nearly killed you. I had to give you blood to heal you, and that was when we realized you would need blood on a regular basis. You couldn't exactly feed on your own without any fangs." He smiled as if growing fangs was something to look forward to, just a part of growing up.
"What about the women?" she asked. "Are they related to us?"
"No, the devil is cunning. He has made many such pacts over the years. We are drawn to one another, the descendants of such cursed ones. There are far fewer men than women like us, so it is only natural that multiple women would have to share a man if they want companionship." She shuddered at the thought. She would rather be alone than share her man with another woman. "But you are different," he continued. "Many men have wanted you, to help free their own families, of course."
"You said I am to be married," she said. "I assume you already have a suitor picked out."
"Yes, an acquaintance of mine," he explained, rising from the bed. "His name is Sebastian. He is a fine and regal lord. I am sure he will be good for you. But that is some years off. As I said, you have not fully matured yet, though I don't know why. I thought it best to wait a while yet."
"To wait?" she asked. "You planned to do it sooner?"
"Yes," he said matter-of-factly. "My original agreement with him was for when you turned eighteen, but you are clearly not ready."
"What if I don't like him?" she asked.
"Darling," he said, "please excuse the phrase, but that is your cross to bear. Even if we were fully human, that is the lot in life for a lady. You marry whom I arrange for you to marry, whether it is for land, or political clout, or to lift a curse." He walked over to her and lifted her chin with his hand. "I know this is a lot to deal with. I know you envisioned a life far different, but please do this, if not for me, for your mother."
"But I love him," she said. "I have been so lonely here. Ethan has been the only other person in my life for so long. He is my best friend. And I am just to throw that away?"
"It comes down to whom you love more: Ethan…or me," he said.
She shook her head and turned away from him. What kind of cruel joke was this? She saw all her dreams and fears come to life in a single day. She realized she was still holding the water glass in her hand. She flung it across the room and watched it smash against the wall into a thousand pieces.
Vincent's eyes widened as the glass exploded, unsure what she was thinking. "Victoria," he growled in a low voice.
"Get out," she said firmly. She was furious. This decision was made by her family long before she was even born, but she had been allowed to entertain her own hopes and dreams the whole time. She never thought she would feel so betrayed by her own father.
"I know you have been through a lot today, Victoria," he said as he turned to leave. "As I said, I didn't want you to find out this way…"
"I will say goodbye to Ethan," she interrupted.
Vincent recognized her statement as a demand and not a request, but his first inclination was to say 'no.' She could try to escape or, far worse, she could get pregnant. He knew she had been with the boy; he could smell him all over her when he rescued her from that pole. He was annoyed that she would push him in such a manner, but, in a way, he found it kind of endearing. She reminded him of Hannah, which made the left edge of his mouth curve into a smile. He wanted Victoria, like Hannah before her, to be compliant. He did not want to lock her up and let Sebastian inseminate her just for the benefit of their procreation. He loved her, even if she was just a pawn. He wanted her to choose to move the way he nudged.
"I'm not sure that is a good idea," he slowly said. "If you get caught, I am sure the villagers will try to dispose of you in a much more efficient manner."
"Ethan will come for me," she said. "He loves me, too."
"Very well," he said. "Should Ethan come for you, I will allow you a moment to break the news to him yourself. Do you have any other questions for me before I retire?"
"No, not now. I don't know what questions to ask."
"Very good. I am glad this has worked out. It has been torture having to lie to you and keep things from you." He headed for the door.
"Wait," she said. "How does this, my marrying Sebastian, how does it end your curse?"
He paused. He had been planning his explanations out so carefully, but he had not gotten to that part yet. He quickly racked his brain to come up with an answer as he slowly turned back to her. "I don't know," he said. "I know it will end the family curse. Your children would not suffer like you or I have. I suppose I am just taking it on faith that by doing this good deed I can atone for the past. Maybe, if you
and I together do this great work, when the Day of Judgment arrives, God will be merciful."
She turned to him and gave him a hard look. "All that you have done, marrying Mother, having me, planning my future, you don't even know if it will work out for you in the end?" she asked, confused.
He shrugged. "That is the definition of faith, is it not?"
"I never thought you would be the one lecturing me on faith."
"I think you will find I still have much to teach you." He bowed as he backed out of the room and shut the door. Jessenda was waiting for him at the end of the torch-lit hallway. He walked up and kissed her hand.
"Did she believe you?" she asked him.
"Every word."
Ethan cautiously approached the castle. The dark monstrosity loomed before him as he approached the drawbridge. Even in the late morning, it was eerily silent. No birds, no wind. He dismounted and crossed the bridge on foot. Gregory's large hooves clip-clopping on the wood echoed in the cavern below and announced their presence.
Ethan lifted the heavy, iron, fanged-lion knocker on the door and let it fall against the solid oak in a reverberating boom. He waited for a moment, but still heard nothing. He lifted the knocker and let it fall again. This time he thought he heard a door open and close on the other side. After several moments, he heard someone undo a latch on the gate. His heart raced. After last night's events, he was unsure who exactly would be opening the door.
The door opened and Victoria appeared before him. Relieved that she was all right and out of sheer happiness to see her, he let out a gasp, grabbed her, and held her tight. She put her arms around his waist and, for a moment, they tried to forget the nightmares and monsters that haunted them.
Victoria finally pulled back, remembering that she was there to say goodbye and her smile began to feel more forced. Ethan sensed the change in her mood and his smile began to fade. He touched her cheek and tears filled her eyes.
"No, no, no," he said, letting go of the horse's reigns and pulling her out of the doorway and onto the bridge. "No, don't be sad. I am here now. Everything will be all right."
She put her arms around him and wished he were right. What she wouldn't give for it to be all right. If only she could run away with him, leave everything behind. She closed her eyes for a moment and dreamed of a life with him. But her dream turned into a nightmare. She feared that her father would relentlessly pursue her. He would not let her go; she was the way to break the curse. She needed to break the curse, to save her father, her children, herself. The curse was hereditary, and she did not want to have children with Ethan if they would be like her. She pulled away from him.
"Ethan." She took his hand as they walked down the drawbridge and sat on the ledge. She didn't even know how to begin.
"Victoria," he said. "It's not too late. We can still be together."
"Ethan," she interrupted. "How many people died last night?"
"I…I don't know," he stammered. He didn't want to upset her, but her eyes would not let him lie. "I am not sure, a few. I don't know."
She rubbed her temples. "It's my fault, Ethan," she said.
"No, you didn't do anything…"
"I know," she said, cutting him off. "But it was because of me." She sighed. "Ethan, it's true. What Father James said, all of it is true. My father and the women, they subsist on the blood of the living. They are descendants of ones who sold their souls to the devil." She paused and looked up at him. "Ethan, I am a descendant of such ones." He took in a deep breath before questioning her further.
"So, you too…"
"I have unknowingly been consuming the blood of animals and even of humans in order to keep myself alive; my father saw to it."
"What can we do?" he asked. "I am not afraid. You cannot help what you have inherited. It was not by your sin. If I must slaughter animals for you, I would do it."
"We can do nothing," she said. "I am sorry, but my father has promised me to another man. I must obey him."
"What? When did this happen?"
"He just told me this morning…and I agreed to it."
"Why? Why when you were already promised to me? Did you not know that I would come for you? I would do anything for you!" He stood and looked away from her. His face flushed. Of course he would come to her. Why didn't she wait for him? While he could live with the fact that she needed blood to survive, he could not accept a betrayal of his heart.
"I did it to protect you!" she said, sensing his anger. "I am cursed! If I married you, our children would also be cursed. Would you want that on your conscience?"
"Then why not become a nun?" he asked. "Just stop your family from reproducing. Or I have heard that there are things a woman can do to not have children. Why must you give yourself to another man?"
"My father is cursed. If I don't save him, he will continue to haunt the world, drinking blood. If he dies, he won't go to heaven. My temporal life is nothing compared to eternity. You have trained in matters of the Church and know that the sufferings of this life are nothing compared to eons of bliss in God's grace."
"Don't speak to me about the Church," he said, pointing a finger at her. "How can your marriage bring about the end of this curse?"
"I don't know how it works, but my father said that through my union with another of his kind, our children will end the curse."
"That is almost romantic, is it not?" he asked sarcastically, turning from her again.
"No, it's not," she said, approaching him. She put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. "Ethan, don't do this," she said, putting her arms around his stomach and laying her head on his back.
He felt hot through his clothes, and she knew he was angry. Her touch cooled him. He was upset with her for being so compliant with her father's whims. He removed her hands and stepped away. "Why are you not fighting to be with me? Do I mean nothing to you?"
"You are everything to me," she said. "But this is not my choice. There is nowhere we can go. Father would always find us. And the curse will always be a part of me. I can't burden you with that."
Ethan looked into her eyes and saw the sincerity. He approached her and kissed her long and hard. If this was going to be their last moment together for all of eternity, she was going to remember it. She reached up and held him firmly against her. She wished that she had given herself to him in the cabin when he first proposed. Now, it was too late. He wanted to lay her down and take her right there in the snow, right in front of her father's house.
"It's not fair," he said, kissing her neck and holding her tight. "It's not fair."
"I know," she said. "But it has to be, it just has to be." She pulled back and laid her forehead on his chest. "It just has to be."
He reached under his shirt and took off the medallion she had given him. "Here," he said. "This is yours." He held it toward her.
"No," she said. "I want you to have it. I want to know that you are safe."
"It is yours," he said. "I want to be sure you are protected. You will probably need it more than me."
"No, I have another one. The one you hold was my mother's. The wolf said that people of my father's kind are called 'nosferatu.' The nosferatu give these amulets to those they love to protect them from other nosferatu."
"Those they love?" he asked.
"Yes," she said. "Don't ever forget that." He did not put the amulet back on; he just held it in his hand. She saw it glisten and shine a little crimson light on his face. "'Though I do not want you to remember me with sadness and regret, perhaps when it sparkles in your eye, you will think it is my shadow passing by'."
He could not reply. What is the most profound way to tell the person you love goodbye? They stood for a moment with his hand in hers, neither wanting to admit it was time to leave.
"I should go," she finally said. "The longer we stand here, the more difficult it will be." She let go of his hand and walked back toward the door in the castle wall.
"Victoria," he said. She turned back to him. "D
on't forget your horse."
Gregory was standing at the end of the bridge, facing the town.
"I don't have much need for him anymore," she said. "I won't be going to town again. Will you take good care of him?"
"Of course," he said.
She went through the door and took one long last look at Ethan. She slowly shut the door and locked it tight. She put her back against it and sank to the ground. She put her hands to her mouth as she wept, silently and wide-eyed. She could feel the wet from the ground seep through her dress, chilling her thighs and legs. She listened to Ethan's heavy footsteps on the bridge as he walked out of her life.
Ethan mounted the horse and turned him out. He had no money, no food and no extra clothes. He started riding and did not care where he ended up.
Part II
But their way
Lies through the perplexed paths of this drear wood,
The nodding horror of whose shady brows
Threats the forlorn and wandering passenger.
Milton
10
Southern France, October 1749
Ethan awoke to the low humming of penitent monks reciting their morning prayers. It was still dark, but a few birds were chirping outside his single, narrow window. He continued lying there for a moment, trying to remember what day it was. All the days seemed to blend together anymore.
He squeezed his hand to make sure the amulet was still there. It was. He reached over, opened a drawer in a small table by his bed, and dropped the necklace into it. He never wore it, but when he clutched it at night, it seemed to keep the nightmares at bay. He sat up and lit a candle by his bed. He rubbed his eyes. He stood and made his way over to his little washing table where a freezing cold pitcher of water waited for him to use to wash his face. He patted dry and looked at himself in the mirror. He was older, his hair a bit longer. He was looking rugged, he needed to shave, but he didn't feel like it. He threw on his brown monk's cloak, tied on his shoes and walked out of the room.
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