“I know what you got goin’ on Mani, believe me when I say we can't change our parents, but we can change ourselves. You got a good man by your side. He’ll be okay and y'all go and live on and forget all this shit. You deserve happiness, you hear me?” Lacey says her voice breaking.
I look up at Lacey and she has tears streaming down her face.
“You better take your own advice. Don't let that man go Lacey, he loves you so much and you know that you do too.”
She nods as she walks back towards the door.
“I'm gonna go check on Dev. Rest up, okay?”
I nod and the doctor comes to the monitor, looking at things on the screen.
“How is he?”
“He's in surgery like she said. The short version, the bullet hit nerves in his shoulder, he lost a lot of blood, he was in shock, a concussion and...they're doing everything they can but that arm may be immobile for quite some time.”
“No,” I whisper. “His...it was his left arm, he can't...dammit no,” I say my voice breaking.
This is all my fault. I should have just walked away from Savannah, walked away from the promise of a different life, a new beginning. I knew they would all eventually get out and they would try and find me. I did this to him. He may never throw another ball in his life and it's all my fault.
Devin
I feel a soft hand on my cheek, a warm breath against my ear.
“I love you so much baby, please wake up.“
Normani.
“Mmm darlin’, what a way to wake up.”
I open my eyes and reach for her, but my arm won't move. I look down and I see a big bandage across my shoulder. I hear a beeping sound in the background.
“What the fuck,” I whisper.
“Oh my God Devin,” Normani cries, kissing my lips, my forehead, my nose, any part of my body she can.
“What happened?” I ask confusion lacing my words. “What happened to your cheek?” I ask nodding towards a big purple bruise on her face.
“You don't remember?” Normani asks concerned, looking over to the nurse.
“I...kind of. We were outside the restaurant and you had your hand wrapped around my…” I clear my throat and glance at Normani.
“After that,” Normani says furrowing her brows.
“I...men, there were men and…”
I trail off wracking my brain for any type of memory, but I can't, except one.
Jealousy.
“You knew them. You...you told one of them to.. you took off your shirt for him,” I snap.
“Okay good, you remember something but that's not exactly how it happened Devin I-”
“An ex-boyfriend. He said you were his first,” I say gritting me teeth.
“Devin do you remember anything else?” she asks confused.
“What happened to me? Why can't I move my arm?”
Normani turns towards the nurse.
“You took a bullet to the shoulder Mr. Gavinwood. You needed surgery to repair some nerve and tissue damage. You lost a lot of blood. You should regain feeling back in your arm once the medication wears off, but the mobility will have to be worked through. You'll need a lot of physical therapy but still no guarantee it will ever be back to normal.”
“I…”
Baseball.
There is no guarantee it will ever be back to normal again.
I look up to Normani and grit my teeth. I don't remember much of last night but the look in her eye when she coaxed that asshole closer to her.
Her words swirl around in my head, boiling my blood hotter.
Are you gonna keep talkin’ about it or are you gonna fuckin’ do it?
She would never do that to me, would she? What the hell happened last night?
You don't know everything about her past Devin. What makes you so sure she wouldn't?
“I'd like to be left alone,” I say my voice hard.
“Dev…”
“I'd like to be left alone,” I say louder. “Baseball is my number one priority right now, my only priority, so I'd like to be left alone,” I seethe, the anger crashing to the surface of my brain, pushing aside the rational.
“You don't...you don't mean that,” Normani stutters.
My face is stern as I watch her hold back her tears, steal her emotions behind her hard bravado. I don't know what the hell she is capable of. She was a criminal, she worked for her father, not by choice but doing something terrible for so long would change even the most innocent person.
“Can you give us a minute?” I ask the nurse.
She nods and walks out, leaving us alone.
My face is devoid of any emotion, staring at Normani and she exhales.
“Well that was an asshole thing to say,” she snaps.
“Well it's the truth. If lie, I'm an asshole, I tell the truth, I'm an asshole. Pick one Normani.”
“How about just don't be an asshole!”
She flinches as she yells and my concern tries to push past my stubbornness but she grits her teeth and turns back to me.
“How about don't attempt to fuck another man in front of your fiancé,” I growl.
“You obviously don't remember how last night went down, and I'm just happy you're okay, but if you for one second, think the parts you do remember, were me actin’ in any other way than to survive, then maybe you just didn't know me at all.”
“I know the important parts of you, the only ones I need to know. Like what your pussy feels like wrapped around my cock.”
Normani grits her teeth and closes her eyes. When she opens them a tear drips down her cheek, but her expression is stone. She's such a con artist.
“How about this? I care about you Devin, I truly do. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone, but if you're gonna use me as a punchin’ bag, then tell me right now because I'll walk out the door and never come back. We aren't tied to each other, this engagement is fake, so you tell me. You of all people should know I don't plan on bein’ knocked around by someone ever again.”
Another tear slips down her cheek and I push past the need to wrap her in a hug. She's still had such a difficult life dammit. My body is ripping me to shreds, fighting between anger and compassion.
“Normani I...I didn't think. I didn't-"
“No you didn't. I remember you sayin’ how terrible your father was back when he was your age. Why don't you take a look in the mirror? Y’all are more alike than you think, the only difference is he made amends. He repaired the bridges he burnt..you're just burnin' them."
"Normani-"
“Rest up.”
She gets to her feet and reaches for the crutches on the side of the bed. Her thigh is wrapped tight in a white bandage and I shake my head.
“What...what happened to your leg?”
She doesnt turn around as she crutches to the door.
“Nothin’,” she whispers.
She opens the door and leaves the room and I lean my head back closing my eyes, trying to remember what happened, trying not to feel like a complete asshole as I let the woman I love walk out that door
---
“Wake the fuck up,” I hear a loud voice say.
I open my eyes and meet my father’s furious gaze.
“Gabriel,” my mama chastises.
“Hey, what happened?” I ask frantically.
“Are you a fuckin’ idiot?” he yells pacing the room.
“Gabriel, relax,” Aunt Savannah says.
“I am relaxed,” he snaps.
“You forget we're twins? I have smoke comin’ out of my own ears because of you. Calm down,” she snaps back.
“Well if he didn't act like an asshole, I would be fine. Y'all saw her in that waitin’ room.”
“The asshole can hear you!” I yell.
“Good!” my father yells back.
“Well it's nice to see you alive and well, Devin. So sorry your dreams of baseball have been ripped away from you so suddenly. After all the years and years of m
akin’ your way to the top for it to be all ripped away like that, and at the hands of men that my fiancé was willingly about to fuck!”
“Do you hear yourself?” my father says with disgust.
“Yes, I do! You of all people should know how I feel!”
“Me? I'm pretty sure when I fucked up my career if was because I was a drunk idiot tryin’ to repair a relationship with my sister that I fucked of my own doin’!” He boomed pointing at my aunt.
I see her flinch at his tone, but he continues.
“I didn't have a woman that loved me, I didn't do it tryin’ to defend the woman I love. It was a fuckin’ cop out. I heard what the doctor said Devin, this is fixable if you work for it, but what you said to that girl is unforgivable!”
“What about what she did to me?”
“I know you don't remember, but wise up! She was stabbed in the fuckin’ leg! Her cheek is bruised black! She took on both of them tryin’ to protect you! You may not remember but she does!”
“She could be lyin’, I feel like I don't even know her!”
“I don't even know you!” he roars.
“If I'm not mistaken, I am this way because I have your blood pumpin’ through my veins!”
“Yeah? Well you also have your mama's and she wouldn't dream of hurtin’ that girl like you did,” he yells pointing at my mama.
“Gabe…” my mama whispers putting a hand on his back.
He runs his hand down his face and exhales.
“I'm glad you're okay, you're a strong man so you'll push through, but wake the fuck up, you ain’t a kid anymore.”
My father walks out of the room, shutting the door a little too loudly and I slump back in bed.
Fuck.
My mama and aunt both come to kiss me on the head and leave the room without a word.
I feel like I have no control of my body, my words. Why can't I fucking remember anything? I close my eyes willing my brain to remember, my anger to shut off, for everything to go back to normal but sleep over takes me again.
Chapter 18
Normani
“Does it hurt?” Lacey asks from the doorway of the bathroom.
I'm changing the dressings on my leg and she makes a squeamish face.
“You've seen me in a bathing suit Lace. Just another added to the collection. It looks worse than it feels, just a couple stitches.”
“I'm pretty sure a couple means two, not twenty-three.”
“My shoulder was worse, they had to take out pieces of the knife, chipped my bone, it was a mess. This is a walk in the park, or I guess a limp in the park.”
“How do you do it? Stay strong, stay positive after everything you've been through?”
Lacey is usually a clown, always making a joke, sexual innuendos, not a serious bone in her body. Right now though, she's as serious as a heart attack.
“I guess I didn't have much of a choice. If I pitied myself, they would pounce. They preyed on the weak, I couldn't ever slow down and feel sorry.”
“Does Devin remember yet?”
“No, but he will. Bella brought him home from the hospital last night and stayed with him. I'm gonna head there today. Thank you for lettin’ me stay with you the past week. I don't think I could have stayed in that big house by myself.”
“I admire you girl, I really do.”
I hug Lacey and go down the hall, still limping a little as I grab my backpack. I ditched the crutches yesterday, trying to regain the strength in my leg back, not wanting to rely on the crutches for too long.
I visited Devin every day the past week and he hasn't said a word to me. Every day I go and talk his ear off about stupid shit that I really don’t give a crap about, but nothing from him. He’s a shell and the guilt I feel consumes me.
I'm determined to make it right, make him able to go back on that field and throw a ball again. I couldn't do it for my mother, but I'm going to for him. My father doesn't get to ruin another person I love.
My father.
The relief I feel knowing he is dead is minimal. They haven't found Zachariah. Knowing he is still out there is the nail in my tire, slowly letting out air until it explodes leaving me on the side of the road stranded. They need to find him.
My phone rings in my pocket and I glance down, seeing Miguel's name, hoping for good news. I connect my phone to the bluetooth as I drive to Devin's house.
“What's up?”
“Apparently someone at admissions in San Diego sold us out,” Miguel says.
“Are you serious? Why? Who?” I ask gripping the steering wheel tighter.
“One of the older ladies. Zac got to her, asked about you and got the trail I left in your file. He followed it for a year but then it went cold like we planned. Your father got out early and could sniff a fake trail in his sleep. Went back to the lady, threatened her family and she spilled about the job at DP.”
“Jesus, just like that. They could have gone right to Savannah, or Charlotte, Bella...oh my God Miguel, she's pregnant! With twins! If they...oh my God…”
I start to tear up and shake my head, trying to push past the emotion.
“They didn't, okay? Believe me when I say if Zac pokes his head up to sneeze, I'll know. I'm using all my resources, we'll find him and then this will all be over, for good.”
“Keep me updated. I'm headin’ back to Devin's.”
“How is that going?”
“It'll get there,” I say confidently.
“How long are you gonna stand up and fight for him while he keeps knockin’ you down Mani?”
“Miguel, he doesn't remember. When he does-”
“What if he doesn't? And so, what if he doesn't? He should know you, know what kind of woman you are, know how loyal you are.”
“He was there for me from the beginnin’ Miguel. He...he saw my scars and didn't run. He fought for me every time I tried to block him out. I won't give up on him, he's in there, I just have to get to him.”
Miguel lets out a breath.
“Fine, fine. When he's better though you bring him by the studio. I'd like to see you knock him around for round two.”
“I'm gonna stop by tomorrow, hit a little, slowly get back into it.”
“Didn't the doctor say to take it easy?”
“Yes, take it easy on my leg. My arms work just fine. Talk to you later.”
I hang up the phone and pull up to Devin's house, Bella is sitting on the stairs in front on the phone.
“Yes great, thanks so much.”
She hangs up walking quickly to my car.
“Are you sure you wanna do this? I swear I want to slap some serious shit into him.”
“Just had this conversation with Miguel, not havin’ it again,” I say lifting my hands up.
“Well then have fun and if your palm happens to connect with his cheek, I will totally vouch for you.”
I laugh hugging her and walk towards the steps of the house.
“By the way. Find all the alcohol and drain it. You'll see what I mean.”
I groan and walk into the house hearing banging coming from the kitchen.
I walk into the room and see Devin chugging a clear bottle, taking it away from his lips and coughing.
“Devin, what the hell do you think you're doin’?” I yell walking towards him and grabbing the bottle. “You're on medication!”
“No I'm not. Threw that shit out, I don't need it. I got booze and pussy, that's all I need,” he slurs pulling my waist towards him.
“You smell like a bar floor,” I groan pushing away from him.
“What, I ain't your little boyfriend? You're done with my dick now that you got his?”
“Devin, I've told you this a million times. Zachariah and I weren't like that. You felt me when we had sex the first time, you knew I was a virgin. Don't minimize that and be a dick. I'm not havin’ this conversation with you like this. Go and sleep it off, we'll talk when you ain't piss drunk.”
“I loved you darlin’. So fucki
n’ much I loved you. It scared me. Scared the shit out of me, but I didn't care. You broke me. You were so scared I'd break you but now look, you're standin’ there and watchin’ me shatter.”
Changeup (Double Play Series Book 4) Page 18
