by Kelly Moore
“I wish I remembered those times. My sorry ass could use a little excitement.”
“Thorn says he could use your help. Why don’t we go into Portland tomorrow? You haven’t been to headquarters since we moved out here. Maybe it would jar your memory.”
“If the things that you’ve told me about him are true, I think he can handle his job himself. He stopped by earlier, trying to pick my brain.” I sit at the dining room table set with white dishes. Bullet lies at my feet. Honor pours me a glass of water. “Do you have anything stronger?”
“I do, but Lawson said I couldn’t serve you any alcohol.”
“Bastard,” I say in his direction.
“Aww. I love you too.” He laughs, joining me at the table. “I think you should try to help Thorn. What’s it going to hurt?”
“Look, it’s taken me a while to adjust. You keep telling me who I was before. I need to be who I am now. I have no desire to be a SEAL.” That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told besides that I’ve lost my memory. The only thing I want more is Fallon.
“Fine. Thorn leaves tomorrow anyway. He and Remington are going on the mission with another team of men.”
“See, he didn’t need me after all.” I down the glass of water. “What smells so good?”
“Chicken parmesan. I think you’re going to love it. Not like the last meal I cooked for you.” She giggles. “I’ve had lots of time on my hands, so I’ve been taking cooking classes.”
“Yeah, Lawson told me.” I chuckle. “I don’t think I would’ve agreed to eat over again.”
Lawson punches me in the shoulder. “Hey! You be nice.”
“I’m only kidding. Thanks for having me.”
She smiles sweetly at me.
“Since you’ve shut down the notion of going to Portland tomorrow, how about you come to the gym? We could go a couple of rounds.”
“Are you going to tie your hands behind your back to make it a fair fight?” I laugh.
“There is nothing wrong with your hands. The leg workout will be good. It’ll help with your balance.”
“I’ll ride over after my date in the morning.”
“Date?” Honor’s face lights up with a smile.
“You’ve barely left your house. How did you meet a girl?” Lawson leans back in his chair, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“On the beach. A few minutes ago.”
“The old SEAL still has it, I see,” he snorts. “This is great. You’re finally moving on from…”
Honor swats him in the arm.
“From Fallon. You’ve told me enough about her that I think she’s too good to be real.” I take a bite of the food Honor put on my plate. “Wow! This is good.” I reach down and pat Bullet’s head. “Sorry, boy. You’re stuck with dog food tonight.”
“I think it’s awesome that you’re getting back in the saddle,” Honor says. Her words sound happy, but her expression is sad. I know how much she liked Fallon. The whole team loved her.
“Besides, even if I did get my memory back, she’s not here, and what would she want with the likes of me?”
Lawson bites his bottom lip as if he’s holding in his words.
“What does this mystery woman look like?” Honor says, taking a fork full of food.
“A gorgeous brunette.”
Lawson chokes on his water. “What is it with you and brunettes?”
“That’s right. You showed me a picture of Fallon. Her hair was the same dark color, wasn’t it?”
“And so was…” Honor nudges him, hard. “What? I can’t say her name? He needs reminding so he’ll get his memory back.” He turns his chair toward me. “Nina. Nina, Nina, Nina,” he repeats. “Does that ring any bells?”
“Not a one, other than you keep telling me she was someone who betrayed us all. Why would I want to recall her?”
“Because she did this to you!” he yells. “She did this to all of us!”
“Take it easy,” Honor tries to calm him down.
“I’m sorry. I just want him and all of us to get our lives back.” He throws his napkin on the table.
I feel like a total shit. He’s given up what he loves for me. I have to swallow down my words. I want to tell him my plan and that Nina was right outside my door a few minutes ago.
I can’t.
I won’t.
I have to do this on my own. I’ve risked his and my men’s lives one too many times to take down Nina.
“You can go back to Portland. You’re not obligated to take care of me. I’m as good as I’m going to get.”
“I don’t feel obligated. You and I have been best friends as long as I can remember. We’ve gotten each other through a lot of hard times. You may not need me to help you physically anymore, but you need someone around to kick your ass every now and then.”
“Daily, you mean,” I mutter, with a mouth full of food.
Honor changes the subject, telling me all about her cooking classes then about Theo and Fiona’s honeymoon.
“I can’t wait to be a grandpa.” Lawson is all smiles talking about the baby, all anger from moments ago gone. “I’m not going to miss one minute of it.”
“I’m happy for you. You’ve told me how much you hated not getting to raise your daughter.”
We finish our meal, and Honor packs a tray of food for me to take home. “It was delicious. Thanks for tomorrow night’s dinner,” I say, kissing her on the cheek.
“You’re welcome. Same time next week, and I’ll have another new dish for you.” They both see me to the door.
Bullet runs out ahead of me and looks around the shoreline. “I don’t think she’s out here this time of night,” I say quietly to him. “Let’s go home, boy.”
I tossed and turned all night, thinking about having coffee with Nina and all the various ways I wanted to kill her. It sickens me having to pretend to like her. I pull on a pair of jeans and a white button-down. As I put on my shoes, Bullet growls at the door.
“She’s here.” I inhale deeply. “Game on,” I say, grabbing my cane.
I take Bullet by the collar and tug him back from the door. “Sit,” I command. “Stay.” He does both. I clench my jaw and open the door, walking out into the salty morning air. I work my way to the edge of the hillside, and Nina is sitting on a bench in the sand, waiting for me. I make a noise, and she glances up.
“I’ll come up there if that’s okay,” she says as she stands.
I glare over at Lawson’s place, and both cars are gone. I wave her up. She’s dressed in another pale blue floral dress and sandals. She looks carefree, so unlike her.
“Hi,” she says, smiling. Her face is so beautiful, even with the eye patch. I can see why I’d fallen in love with her. Too bad her outward beauty doesn’t match the inside.
“Good morning. There’s a bakery coffee shop a couple of blocks from here. Do you mind if we walk?” I ask.
“If you’re good with that, I am.” She stares down at my cane.
“The exercise will do me good.” I hold out my hand for her to lead the way. “How long are you vacationing for?”
“I don’t know. I’m looking to rent a house here for an indefinite period of time. For now, I have a motel room.” She flips a strand of hair over her shoulder. “I’m falling in love with this area.”
I fucking bet you have. “It is beautiful.”
“How about you? Is this a vacation home, or do you live here?”
“This is my home. Actually, it’s fairly new to me.” But you know that, don’t you? “I’m from Portland.”
“I hear it’s a nice city.” She slows her pace to walk beside me when we reach the sidewalk.
“Tell me what a gorgeous woman is doing vacationing alone?”
“I’m used to traveling by myself.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“You’re full of questions, aren’t you?” She drapes her hand inside my elbow, and I have to fight not to shrug away.
“I know I haven�
��t dated in a long time, but isn’t that how people get to know one another?”
“How about we have coffee and then get to know more about each other?”
I open the door to the quaint bakery. There is one lady behind the counter and a couple sitting at a small table in the corner.
“Black coffee, please. And I’ll take a Danish.” She points into the glass counter.
“I’ll have the same.” She sits at a table by the window while I pay the lady.
“I’ll bring it to the table,” she says, glancing at my cane.
“Thanks.” I take a seat opposite Nina.
“Tell me something about yourself, Derrick.”
My name on her tongue makes me angry. “There’s not much to tell. I was in an accident a year ago and suffered a brain injury. I lost years of my memory.”
“That’s terrible.” She reaches across the table and grasps my hand.
“It was, but I’ve learned to deal with it.” I’m grateful when the lady sets our coffee on the table, and Nina removes her hand from mine.
“Your turn. What do you do?”
“I’ve done a multitude of things. Mainly in business and sales.”
Sales of woman and children, you sick bitch. “What type of sales?” I blow on my coffee.
“A plethora of things. Not any one thing specific.”
Organs, people… “That sounds interesting.”
“My turn. There isn’t a Mrs. around is there?”
“No. I’ve never been married.” You saw to that. “How about you?”
“Nope, I’ve only loved one man, and I let him get away.” She smiles over her coffee mug.
You fucking betrayed him. “I guess that makes me a lucky man.” Gag a maggot. My turn to touch her. I drag my hand across the table and lock my fingers in hers. I could bend them back and snap her wrist.
“I know we’ve only just met, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve known you for years,” she says, batting her lashes at me.
Too many years. “I feel the same way.”
“How about you show me around town today, and I’ll make us dinner at your place tonight?”
The Nina I know doesn’t cook. “I promised a friend I’d meet him at the gym. After that, I’m free.” I take a sip of my coffee and decide to push her. “What happened to your eye?”
She touches the black eye patch with the tips of her fingers. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
You should’ve died in that explosion. If she had, my life would be different right now. I’d be in bed this time of the morning, making love to Fallon. That’s not true. If it wasn’t for her, I’d have never met Fallon. “It doesn’t take away from how beautiful you are.” I try like hell to sound sexy.
I see something I’ve never seen on her face before as a small blush covers her cheeks. Maybe in her own sick way, she does love me.
“Neither does the scar marring your handsome face.”
Put there by yours truly. “It’s been a long time since this ugly mug has been called handsome.” I run my hand over my scar.
“I find you exceedingly handsome.” She reaches out and touches my chin.
I see in her eyes, the woman I first met. The one who lured me in. The one I fell in love with. Damn, she’s good at this game. Does she see through my lies, or does she believe them? She’s a smart woman, and I’m going to have to up my game. I cringe on the inside, thinking I may have to fuck her to make her trust me. I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself, but I’ll do it if it means any possible chance of getting Fallon back.
Chapter 12
Fallon
I cried most of the flight to Portland, thinking about Lily. I have to end this once and for all. I know Sean and Ember will guard her with their lives. I don’t know where they’ll take her, but Sean will leave me a clue somewhere even though I told him not to.
I drag my carry-on behind me and text Theo at the same time.
* * *
The eagle has landed.
I wait for his response.
Meet me at the big bookstore downtown.
I type my response.
I have a stop to make first then I’ll be there.
* * *
Hailing a cab, I shove my phone in my pocket and throw my bag in the back seat. “Portland Cemetery,” I tell the driver. I watch out the window as he drives through town. It’s been a while. Nothing’s really changed. It feels good to be home.
He drives by my office building, and there is a For Sale sign outside on the street. I miss my old job, but there was no way I could continue. I’d have been broadcasting where I was all the time. Maybe when this is all said and done, I’ll buy the entire building and start over.
In the usual Portland style, the rain lightly falls as the driver makes it to the edge of town and turns into the cemetery. “You can drop me off here.” I take cash from my wallet and toss it over the seat. Pushing open the door, I grab my bag and get out. I shrug my jacket hood over my head and start walking toward Josie’s gravesite. Brushing the water off the bench with my hand, I sit. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. I would’ve been here sooner if I could. I miss you like crazy.” I pause and look around to make sure no one is watching me.
“I have a daughter. She’s the sweetest thing ever. You’d love being an aunt. I’ve told her all about you. Every single thing I can remember.” I swipe away a tear.
“I don’t think you’d recognize the woman I’ve become. I lost my innocence the day you died, and my world hasn’t been the same since. Somethings were better for a while. I had a man that I loved by my side. That didn’t last near long enough.”
I stand. “But I’m back to change that. I’m the only one who can rescue myself from the life I’ve been living for the past two years. I’m hoping I can pull it off without getting us all killed.”
I hear a sound behind me and turn in a defensive stance. “Theo! You scared me to death!” I say.
“I knew you’d be here.” He walks toward me and pushing my hands downward, hugging me. “I wanted to make sure you’d be safe.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me anymore. I’ve been doing just fine the last couple of years.”
He pulls away. “I can see that.”
I place my hand on his cheek. “Still, I’m glad you’re here.”
“The men and Fiona will be so happy to see you.”
“You can’t tell them. At least not yet. Have you seen any signs of Nina?”
“No.”
“Did you warn Lawson to keep an eye out?”
“No. I thought about it a lot, and I don’t think we should alarm anyone with the idea that she’s prowling around.”
“If she is, they need to know. She’s dangerous, and you know it.”
“That I agree with. It’s just that all their lives have calmed down from the chaos. I don’t want to unnerve them until absolutely necessary.”
“Look, I know how she operates and how she thinks better than anyone. She’s kept me on high alert the past two years. If she thinks for one minute that she can get Rebel back, she’ll do it. If she finds me here, she’ll keep her promise in killing everyone I love. I’m tired of running, and I want my daughter to have a father.”
“He won’t remember you, Hazel.” He runs his hand down my arm.
“I’m not so sure of that. Sean and I have a theory.”
He shields his eyes from the rain. “You can tell me in the car.” He moves us toward it. Opening the passenger side, I get in, and he runs around to the other side, climbing behind the wheel.
He brushes the water out of his hair with his hand, and I lower my hood. “Shoot. Tell me your theory.”
“Sean and I both agree that Rebel is faking his memory loss to draw Nina out so he can find us.”
Theo blinks a few times. “That’s a little far-fetched. You weren’t here at the time of the accident. He was in really bad shape. He almost died.”
“I understand that,
but it doesn’t make it impossible.”
“He wouldn’t have been in the right frame of mind at the time to fake anything. He could barely get two words out much less think up such a scheme.”
“I don’t know…maybe you’re right. It was wishful thinking on mine and Sean’s part.”
“I can’t say I blame you. It’s been difficult to be around him. He looks right through me.”
“I’m so sorry. It must’ve been so hard. You two were close.”
He places his hand on my shoulder. “I want you to brace yourself for him not to recognize you.”
I was so sure of myself that it didn’t occur to me he’d really not know me. “Okay,” I answer softly. “What’s important is to make sure that Nina is nowhere around him. Will you please call Lawson and warn him.”
“Alright.” He pulls out his phone and hits Lawson’s name.
* * *
“Lawson, you know what to do,” I hear his voice on the phone.
* * *
“Hey, man, when you get this, give me a shout. We need to talk about Rebel’s safety.” He hangs up. “I’ll keep trying.”
“Thank you.”
He starts the car. “Where do you want me to take you?”
“To the coast, where Rebel lives.”
“I wish you’d let me drive you to headquarters instead.”
“I want to make sure Nina is not around before I show my face. She’s never disappeared from our lives this long. The timing of Rebel’s accident and when he got out of rehab can’t be a coincidence. I know she’s out there waiting for the right moment to make her move.”
“If yours and Sean’s theory was correct, why wouldn’t he kill her the moment he laid eyes on her?”
“If he killed her, he’d never find me.”
“Keeping your idea in mind, when you show your face, he’ll kill her then. Are you okay with that?”
“Yes.”
We turn onto the road that will take us to the coast. He fills me in on his life, and everyone else’s since I’ve been gone. He tells me about the last mission they all went on together.
