by Lily London
“Be safe,” he said.
“Always,” I promised.
With that, we both got into our vehicles and headed off. I just hoped when I would get to see him again, it would be soon.
CHAPTER 4
CLAY
Roxy’s head snapped up at the sound of a car approaching. I got up and looked out my window to see it was Emma’s car. I wasn’t expecting her. I knew she had been dealing with a lot at work. I hadn’t seen her in the week since I was over at her place, and we were rudely interrupted by someone being killed. I headed over and opened the door as she got out of her car. She headed straight for me, and before I could even say anything, she grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me into a kiss.
I placed my hands on her hips and held her against me. I had been waiting for this for a week, and now that she was finally back in my arms, I had no plans to let her go. I backed us up until we were in my house fully and then closed the door. I turned us, so she was walking backwards as I led her down the hallway to my bedroom. We had been interrupted once already. I was not going to have that happen again.
Once in my bedroom, we wasted no time in removing each other's clothes. The need had become so intense, I honestly feared I wouldn’t be able to hold off. I knew the first time was going to be fast and rough. We were both too turned on for it to be anything else. However, after that first time, I would be able to take my time with her and truly enjoy her body.
I was so turned on that my mind didn’t even remember that she was seeing me with my prosthesis on. That surprised me, but I didn’t dwell on it. I had other things in need of my attention. With us both naked, I dropped us onto my bed, with Emma underneath me. I then worked my kisses down her body, savouring her taste as I kissed my way over each breast, down her stomach and finally I arrived at her wet quim. I just needed a quick taste of her. I had been dreaming about it for the past week, I had to know what she tasted like.
With a long lick between her folds I couldn't help the moan that escaped just from the taste of her. She had moved her hands down to my hair and gave a long moan. I continued to lick at her while her body contorted at the pleasure.
“Damn, Clay.” She moaned, and I knew she was reaching her breaking point.
As badly as I wanted to continue tasting her, I wanted to be in her when she reached her climax. With a final lick, I made my way back up to her mouth as I reached over into my bedside table and grabbed a condom. As I went to open it, Emma’s hand moved to my member and started to stroke it. I moaned at just the contact. If she didn’t stop, this would be over. I moved her hand away as I rolled the condom on. Emma wrapped her legs around my hips, and I thrusted into her tightness. We moaned together. I couldn’t believe how amazing she felt. How amazing it felt to have her walls around me.
“Move.” Emma groaned.
I didn’t need to be told twice. I easily pulled out before slamming back in. I kept my pace fast and hard, just as she needed it. I needed it too. It had been too long since I had been with a woman. I craved every touch she made, every sound she gave me. I forgot how amazing it could feel to be with someone like this. Our bodies moved as one as she thrusted her hips up to match my thrusts. The headboard banged against the wall with the power of my thrusts. I could feel that we were both reaching our climax, and as badly as I wanted this to never end, I know there would only be so long that I could hold off for.
“So close. Don’t stop. Fuck, don’t stop.” Emma moaned, her nails digging into my back.
The feeling only fueled me on, and before we both knew it, she was thrown over the edge, giving me a long moan as her walls tightened around me even more. Her pulsing was enough to send me over that same edge, and I gave a long groan as I snapped my hips forward once more. Emma moaned as my member pulsed inside of her. I placed my forehead against hers as I fought for control of my breathing.
“Damn, that was so worth the wait.” Emma said with a big smile.
“I hope you’re coming back for more.”
I looked at her and could see the sexy smirk playing on her lips. This woman just might be perfect.
***
The sound of explosions went off all around us. It seemed like every way I turned I was blocked by explosions. We were in deep shit right now. It was supposed to be a simple mission, go in and grab the target, bring them back to be interrogated, so we could go back out to get the head of the organization. We had done it hundreds of times. Most of the time it had gone off without a hitch. This time we were drowning. We weren’t expecting the ambush, but when it hit us, it was worse than we could have ever dreamed. We thought our target was a nobody. Turned out he was the leader’s son and heavily guarded.
“We gotta retreat!” Derek called over our coms.
We hated having to retreat, especially without our target, but we had no choice. If we continued this, we were all going to be going home in body bags. Gunshots rained down on us, and I pulled my rifle up to shoot the hostiles with the RPGs. It put me in a vulnerable position, but it would give my brothers a better chance of getting out of the hot zone. My focus was solely on the hostiles with the deadly RPGs. That’s why, when someone was on top of me, I didn’t even realise they were in my vicinity. A sharp blow to my head was enough for me to lose my grip on my rifle. That didn’t stop me, though. I easily flipped us around and wrapped my hands around my attacker’s throat.
I could have sworn I heard a female’s voice, but that had to be my imagination. There were no females here. There were never any females here. The hostile underneath me had his hands on mine, trying to pry them off his neck. He wasn’t strong enough, though, and he quickly discovered that. What surprised me was the sharp stabbing pain that shot up my leg. His hand was gripping it, and it felt like he was ripping my leg off. The pain shot up my entire body, and the world around me started to blur and change. No longer was I in the desert surrounded by bombs and gunfire.
My vision cleared, and I discovered that I was in my bedroom at the ranch. My hands were not wrapped around an attacker’s neck. They were wrapped around Emma’s. I pulled my hands back and Emma took in a deep breath. Her hand was on my stump and her squeezing was the cause of the stabbing pain shooting up my body. I climbed off her and froze. I couldn’t believe I had done this. I had attacked Derek before when he woke me from a nightmare, but nothing like this. I had never choked someone, much less a woman that I had just been with.
I needed to say something, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t form any words. All I could do was see the fear that filled her eyes when I finally woke up. Emma moved off the bed, holding her hand up to her neck as she left my room. I could hear her footsteps taking her to my bathroom, and I knew without a doubt that this was it, we were over. I wasn’t too sure how I felt about it. I had accepted a long time ago that I would never be with a woman. That I would never have a wife and children running around. I was broken, and a broken man is not the type of man any woman wants. Yet for a moment with Emma, I didn’t feel broken. I didn’t feel like she was demanding or expecting more of me. For the first time since I lost my leg, I felt normal. And now I had gone and screwed it up by hurting her. There was no going back from this.
CHAPTER 5
EMMA
Ineeded to get my hands to stop shaking. I needed to calm myself down and think. All I could see, all I could feel, was Clay’s hands wrapped around my throat. It wasn’t the first time I had been choked but getting choked by an enemy was much different then waking up to the man you were sleeping beside doing it. I knew Clay was asleep. I knew he had no idea he was even doing anything. I had seen my fair share of PTSD episodes with my brother, I knew Clay had no control over the situation. Still, in that moment, I couldn’t help but think that I was going to die. That a man I could possibly grow to care for was about to kill me with his own bare hands. That would have ruined Clay forever.
I just needed a minute to get my emotions back under control. Then I could go back into the bedroom and speak w
ith him. I knew he would be upset and tearing himself apart over this. Some women would have been done after this. I suppose I should have been, too. Except it wasn't that simple. Clay didn’t attack me in a heated argument or because I didn’t do the dishes. He did it because he was asleep and obviously dreaming about something that happened overseas. It was different, and maybe that was something only a soldier could understand. Still, that didn’t take away the initial shock and fear that coursed through me when I woke to his hands around my throat.
Looking into the mirror, I could see my throat was red, and I knew within a couple of hours it would be bruised. I would need to hide it with turtlenecks or a scarf until the bruising went away. This was not something I could have at work. I didn’t even want to think about how a precinct full of cops would handle seeing one of their own walking in with a handprint bruise around their neck. This night had not turned out even remotely close to how I thought it would. One thing I did know, I couldn’t hide in his bathroom all night. I needed to go back out there and speak with him about this. I had to let him know that I was ok and that I wasn’t mad. I still had feelings for him, which might sound insane, but it wasn’t truly his fault. It would be different if he did it in the heat of an argument or because I did something wrong. He was asleep, and I couldn’t hold that against him. Whatever feelings I had for Clay were still there. They were still strong, something I didn’t fully understand myself, but I was past the point of trying to understand it.
My feelings were there for him, and I was not the type of person to ignore my feelings or overthink things. I could tell that Clay cared about me as well, and because of that, this would hit him hard. I needed to get out of this bathroom and go check on him. I was also feeling some guilt myself with how hard I squeezed his leg. I knew it would hurt because of the amputation, but I had no other choice. I needed to wake him up, and the best way to do that is with pain. I took a few shaky breaths in to try and calm myself down. When I could breathe in without my breath hitching, I headed out of the bathroom and back to his bedroom.
I was not surprised to see Clay pacing. I could tell he was upset with himself. There was a slight tremble to his body, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was from the pain that I caused him or because of the situation. I wanted to go over to him and touch him, to tell him it was ok, that I was ok, but I knew getting close to him when he was like this wouldn’t be a smart idea. He needed to calm down before I would be able to touch him without him getting more on edge.
“Clay, it’s ok,” I said.
It wouldn’t be enough, I knew that. But it was at least true to me. I was ok, and we would be ok. The disgruntled ruff from Clay told me exactly what he thought about that. He finally stopped pacing and turned to face me. I could see it all over his face, the shame and anger at himself as his eyes fell on my neck.
“There is no ok with this. I hurt you, I could have killed you,” Clay said through clenched teeth.
“You were asleep, Clay. You had no idea what you were doing or that you were even doing it. It was a nightmare; I don’t hold it against you.”
“That doesn’t make this better. I attacked you in my sleep, and I could do it again.”
“So could I. You’re not the only one with PTSD and skills to kill. I could easily attack you in my sleep with the right nightmare and I know you would never hold it against me. You would forgive me and expect me to forgive myself. I’m demanding the same thing from you. You did nothing wrong.”
I made sure to hit every single word to ensure that Clay heard them all. I knew it was going to take more than just words to convince him. Just like I knew it was going to take a long time before he trusted himself around me. There wouldn’t be any sleepovers anytime soon, but that was ok. I wasn’t in any rush. We had time, and I was good with taking it.
“I don’t mean to sound sexist on top of everything else, but there’s a big difference between your hands around my throat and mine around yours. I could have easily killed you, and there is nothing stopping it from happening again.”
He had a point, and we both knew it, but I also had a point and I wasn’t going to just let it go. Yes, he was more dangerous because of his size, but that didn’t change the fact that I was trained to kill just like he was. As for it happening again, it was an easy fix, at least for now. If this were to get more serious, then we would need to talk about him speaking to someone to overcome his demons and get better control of his PTSD. For now, though, the simple solution would suffice. I crossed the room and over to him. He tried to move away, but I wasn’t having it. I wasn’t afraid of him, and I was not going to let him think that I should be. I placed my hand on the side of his face to keep his eyes on me as I spoke.
“I’m not scared of you. I’m also not stupid. I know it could happen again. I know there is a lot you are dealing with, but I don’t hold any of it against you. I have demons too, everyone who comes back from war does. I forgive you, Clay. This doesn’t change anything; except we may need to avoid sleeping in the same room for a while.”
Clay’s eyes wandered down to my neck, and I could see the flash of pain across them. He slowly brought his hand up and lightly ran it underneath the redness of my neck. I knew he was picturing his hands around my throat. He would be for a little while, but eventually it would be a faded memory. At least I was hoping it would be for him.
My phone going off sounded like an air horn in the dead silence of the room. It was also what broke the spell, and Clay stepped back and away from me. I would have loved to ignore my phone, but I knew it was most likely work at this hour. I went over to my jeans that were on the floor by the door and pulled it out.
“Watson.”
I was expecting to discover we had another victim but was pleasantly surprised that we had a lead on the serial killer’s identity. This was the best news I could have gotten. After all this time, we might have actually had a face that we could hunt down.
“I’m on my way.” I said before hanging up.
I picked up my jeans and began to get dressed as I spoke to Clay. “I have to go. We have a lead on the serial case.”
“Do you know who it is yet?” Clay asked.
“We might have an ID. Hopefully it pans out, and we can get his ass off the street.”
I finished getting dressed, Clay following me as I headed down the hallway to gather the rest of my clothing and my gun. Once I was all set, I turned around to face Clay. He still looked upset, but I didn't expect anything else right now. It was going to take him some time, but if he thought I was going to just walk away he had another thing coming. I closed the distance between us and placed a quick kiss to his lips.
“This conversation is far from over, mister.” I said as I turned and headed for the door.
“Be safe,” Clay called behind me.
“Always,” I said quickly looking back at him as I headed out.
I would need to head home real quick to get changed and grab coffee. I was going to need coffee, especially because this was looking like it was going to be a very long day. I would catch this bastard, and then I would come back here and finish fixing things with Clay.
CHAPTER 6
CLAY
It was just after two in the morning, and once again, I could not sleep. Emma had left a few hours before when she got the call. I guess I should have been annoyed that she could be called away without any notice, but I knew she loved her job, and to
me that was what mattered. I loved my job, and I wouldn’t be happy if my partner complained about it. I had no idea what we were, if we were lovers, dating or something in between. It was something we would need to figure out later.
Sitting here on my couch normally allowed me to calm down and focus on something else. I could watch TV and just zone out. Tonight, though, even with the TV on, my mind couldn’t stop thinking about waking up with my hands around her throat. I had never done anything like that before. I never thought I would do anything like that. I knew my PTSD was ba
d, but I had no idea it was at this level. I never thought I was a danger to anyone, especially not someone that I cared for. She said it was ok, but it was hard to believe that she would be ok with what happened, ex-military or not. Roxy must have sensed that I was upset, because she came over to me and placed her head on my good leg.
“I don’t know what to do,” I said, as I pet Roxy’s head.
This should have been simple. Walk away, and that would be it. Yet, my heart, for some reason, was telling me not to do that. I needed to figure out why I felt so strongly for her. I’d only known her a few weeks and yet my heart clenched every time I knew she was out there fighting criminals. She was trained. I knew she could handle herself in a fight. Still, I hated that she was out there without me watching her back. Being a sniper, I was so used to being the one on overwatch, the one to keep an eye on everyone and protect them. I thought after three years I would have been past this. Past the need to be the one to keep watch, but apparently it was still in me. Maybe helping Derek protect Haley opened a gate that I thought was closed.
My attention jerked to the TV when the show I was watching changed to breaking news.
“We are sorry for interrupting your scheduled program. We are live down on scene at Bozeman University where a hostage situation is unfolding. Marcus Green, a suspect in the deaths of six female university students over the past three weeks, opened fire when officers arrived earlier this evening to take him in for questioning. Bozeman Police are on scene, and I am told that Green is holding one female detective hostage at gunpoint.”
“Holy shit.”
My stomach was in my throat. This was Emma’s case. She would be down there, but I had no idea if she was the female detective being held hostage. I was torn between wanting to hear them say the detective’s name and not wanting it.
“We are being told that Detective Watson, a lead detective on the case, is the one being held hostage. She was helping to clear the building when she was attacked and is now being used as leverage. At this time negotiations are underway, but from what we have gathered from a sergeant within SWAT, they have no way into the room yet,”
