by Sam Hall
But when they came now, they weren’t so measured. I was still fighting what was coming, always did without Zack to ground me. But I knew what to do, had been practising it for so long. So why did it hurt so much? I curled up in a ball, my chest burning with pain as silent sobs racked it, every muscle screaming with the effort to hold it all in. Tears streamed down my face, blinding me to everything but the blurry sight of my father’s bed, soon to be replaced by his current one. Beep…beep…beep.
“Daddy…” I whimpered like a little girl, but I couldn’t stop it. We had more time. We should have had more time, my brain insisted, even while my heart knew otherwise. There were no shoulds, only what is, and the reality of that hit me, one-two, a devastating combination I couldn’t block, not now. My mouth opened in a long loud cry, my wolf needing to howl her pain to the world. But I didn’t. Spehr’s didn’t. I just screamed silently into a pillow that smelled of my father’s aftershave until I could scream no more.
Chapter 7
“Paige.”
Again, his voice jerked me from sleep, Mason standing in the doorway, a dark shadow with soft eyes and a firm voice. I rolled over from where I lay, and he took it all in, my dishevelled look, my swollen eyes, the stain of my tears on the pillow, and just nodded in response.
“It’s time.”
I jumped out of bed with a speed that seemed to surprise Mason, but I needed to put distance between me and that bed. The time for being a little girl was over, I had a role to fulfil and I had to get it done. I raked my hair back, plaiting it tight and neat as my father’s beta watched.
And what does he think? I wondered, those eyes giving little away. But they stared, oh, how they stared, taking everything in until I went to move past him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, as my father had worked damn hard to make sure I was not left alone with any man, let alone his beta, and especially not in his bedroom.
Which is perhaps why Mason didn’t move. I knew right then, as those tensed muscles made a lie of his casual slouch against the door frame, as I brushed past him while he didn’t give me an inch of ground, that there was more going on here than Mason wanted to give away. I paused midway out of the door, hovering in the space that pressed our bodies together, my legs on either side of one of his, and met the beta’s gaze. A smile curled my lips, something just made his eyes glitter all the more dangerously, those firmly crossed arms starting to loosen the longer I stayed, but to do what?
“Paige, honey? Are you up here?”
I heard my aunt Nance’s voice coming up the steps, so I stepped out into the hall with a mocking little smile and then went to meet her. That disappeared as soon as she got to the top. Only Mum’s family mattered to the pack, since the alpha line was passed on matrilineally, and she was Mum’s only sister.
“How are you, sweetheart? You must be devastated. I know you’ve only just got to town, but…”
I looked over my shoulder to where Mason still lurked, then followed Nance downstairs. It had begun.
“You really think the contenders will want to declare an open contest?” Uncle Alan asked, settling back in his chair in the meeting room. All my cousins filled the chairs around me, along with my aunty and my two uncles.
“Wouldn’t have if Paige hadn’t run off to the city,” Bryce said. We were of close enough age that he’d proposed himself as a potential mate when we were growing up. Ew.
“Well I did, and if we toss around might have beens and should’ves, we’ll still be thrashing this out long after Dad’s…” I’d been about to make a flip statement about Dad’s mortality, but I couldn’t now. My jaw tightened for a minute as I saw Nance and several of the older cousins lean forward, ready to deliver their own opinions, but I was about to put a stop to that. “I thought I had more time. The agreement between my father’s beta and myself was that if it looked like Dad was becoming seriously ill, he’d let me know and I’d come back. I know it would have been better if I’d stayed here, taken a mate and settled down, but I…”
My voice trailed away as Mason and ten of Dad’s enforcers filed in the door. My harem in waiting, Stevie used to call them. Enforcers were a way for the strong young men of the pack to find a place in the hierarchy, rather than fomenting rebellion against it. Every woman’s eye was drawn to the men as they came into the room and leaned against the wall, and some of the guys too.
“Well, the quickest way to solve this problem is to choose from your father’s men,” Nance said.
“Now, Nancy—” Uncle Bill started.
“No, Adam was one of our father’s enforcers, and our grandfather was his alpha’s beta before him. It’s the natural way of things. Paige simply reacquaints herself with Adam’s men and makes her choice…quickly.”
“So, it’s that easy, is it?” I asked with a snort. “You haven’t even asked any of the guys if they’re interested. None of them were there when I ran the gauntlet.”
“Yeah, why was that, Mase?” A really tall man with a shock of reddish-brown hair and a thick Ned Kelly beard looked down the line at the beta, but not for long. Whiskey coloured eyes flicked back to me, crinkling in a smile before he said, “Well, you know I’m in, Paige.”
“Declan?” I got to my feet, something that drew hisses of censure from the women around the table. “Oh my god, you look so…”
“Yeah, the beard came in and I went with it. You look so…” He gestured vaguely to me, then watched me closely as all the memories came flooding back in. He’d been a boy when we were dating back in school, no beard back then. But those freckles that scattered across the tops of his cheekbones and his nose, I’d spent a lazy afternoon kissing each one when we were in Year Eleven, which then led to…
“You finished?” Mason snapped.
“No, he isn’t, beta,” Aunt Nancy said in her ice princess tone. “I forgot you had a prior connection to young Declan. Perhaps you should pursue—?”
“Nance, there’s no need—”
“It’s important a—”
“We need to—”
I raked my eyes across the guys as my family argued.
“So who you gonna choose?” I turned to see my cousin, Bridget had flopped in the chair beside me, shooting me a conspiratorial wink. I smiled back, I couldn’t help it. She was always a picture of mischief, usually just before we got in serious shit. “They all look pretty tasty. I wonder if there’s a ‘try before you buy’ option. As your loyal cousin, I would, of course, help you sample—”
“Stop it, Bridge,” I hissed, seeing the lazy smiles go up along the group of men. Well, not all of them. Callum, often touted to be the next in line for beta, looked around uncomfortably.
“Hey, we can’t just dump this on the guys,” I interjected. “There’s a process, and some of them may have already found mates or be in the process of doing so.”
“If he’s unmated, he’s a potential choice,” Nance said primly.
“I’m not breaking up existing relationships,” I said, looking around the room sharply when more people went to argue, waiting for silence. “Work out who would be the next single females in line, especially the ones you think people might want to throw their weight behind.” I scanned the faces of my female cousins, including Bridget. “That’s who you need to watch out for, who guys might make a play for to take the role of alpha. We also need to work out who steps up if I can’t.”
“Paige…” My name was warning, reprimand, and threat.
“Maybe we should make it an open call,” I said. “Maybe we should let any guy who thinks he’s got the chops to put his name forward make his case to the people like humans do. Maybe us retaining a stranglehold on this town isn’t such a great idea.” Well, I got silence at that, didn’t I? I shook my head, then said, “Collect a list of the contenders, and I’ll work my way through them.”
“Yeah, you will,” Bridget muttered.
“But we also need to work out who’s second and third in the line of succession, and they should be moved here
until things are decided.” I felt a flush of shame identical to the one I’d felt as I swept out of here five years ago. “To make sure nothing happens to them.”
“Well, that’d be—”
“It’s not you, Nance,” Alan said. “They need to be of child bearing age.”
“I’m well aware of that, Alan. I was going to say it’d be Bridget and Selma. My girls.” Her smile was smug. It’d have been so much easier if Dad had agreed to one of my cousins taking the role I didn’t want.
“My daughters were born before yours,” Alan said
“But not of the female line,” she replied snippily. “Jade and Fern are lovely young ladies who would make beautiful alpha females” —the two girls did what we all did and looked bloody uncomfortable as the ‘adults’ spoke— “but the role passes to my daughters first.”
“Something I already spoke to Dad about before I left,” I said, getting everyone’s attention real quick. “I didn’t plan for this. I wanted him to pass the mantle on, but he refused.” For a moment, I didn’t see my family, I just saw my room, my bag, Dad… But I blinked and brought myself back to the now. By the look on their faces, I’d managed to surprise them, even Bridget. “Look, maybe that’s something we can look at, going forward.”
“Not me,” Bridget said, pushing herself away from the conference table. “Like, I’m sorry, Mum, but being alpha female is not in my future.”
I wasn’t surprised at that. Both of us had talked about this whole process being total bullshit when we were kids.
“Selma?” Nance asked tightly.
She sat forward slowly, then looked down the table. In some ways, my cousin was the best possible candidate. Only a year or so younger than me, she was dressed in a smart pantsuit, her blonde hair cut into a sleek bob. I thought she was working in finance or something? We were never close, not like I was with Bridget. Where we were a couple of scrapping cubs, she seemed like the perfect poster girl for safe, sane, wolf shifters. Especially if we ever went public to humans.
“Mum and I have talked about this,” Selma replied. “Apologies, Paige, but with you out of the picture for so long, we needed to look at what our options were. We broached it with Alpha Spehr, and while he certainly wasn’t supportive of the idea, he did acknowledge it as a necessary step to be taken if Paige was unwilling or unable to take on her duties.”
“So, what?” Uncle Bill asked. “Selma looks at the contender list as well?”
Selma’s face barely registered a response at that, the perfect oval remaining serene. Had she had Botox? Surely not at this age.
“If she wants. Is there anyone you’ve decided to take as a mate?” I asked, knowing what I hoped she’d say. If she had a suitable guy in the wings, ready to step forward into the spotlight, it could solve all of my problems.
It was there, I could just taste it. Freedom was in my reach. Selma would be exactly what the pack wanted. She was smart, beautiful, professional—everything a modern alpha female needed to be. I found myself tugging my sleeves down over my hands, sliding my thumbs into the holes.
“I haven’t really explored that with anyone while the succession was up in the air. It didn’t seem fair to get into a relationship with someone without knowing what roles they’d be expected to play.”
Bridget shot me one of her patented ‘whoa, baby!’ looks. She and her sister were…different to say the least.
“So you’d be amenable to meeting and engaging with the contenders?” I asked.
“Of course. Whatever the pack needs.”
“As long as it’s clear that the title only goes to Selma if you’re unable to find someone suitable,” Uncle Alan said, crossing his arms. “Nance, I know you’ve got your heart—”
“I would never try to circumvent the rules,” my aunty snapped back. “Paige is just being sensible. Not every heir wants to be the alpha female. Why, our great aunt—”
“We all know about Great-Aunty Joy,” Alan said with a dismissive shake of his head, “and that was no walk in the park either. Think long and hard before messing with the succession, Paige. We maintain control over Lupindorf largely due to tradition. Stuffing around with that starts people thinking about what else could be changed.”
He looked around at the walls, as if imagining them disappearing just like that.
“Mason, can you talk to the enforcers and make it clear that anyone who wishes to put himself forward as alpha needs to do so through you?” I asked, looking at the beta but not really.
I couldn’t meet those hot, dark eyes, not here, in front of my family. Because the thing was, I’d tried to be a good little heir, take a mate I thought would be a good contender for alpha, and got knocked back for my troubles. There was still a small scar on my bottom lip where his fang had scraped that night, slicing it as he’d cut me open, my heart, my body aching for his as we…
He didn’t reply, which was rude in this context, but while this raised grumbles around the room, I knew why. He didn’t trust himself to speak, I could see that in the tight muscles of his jaw, but when I stared into his eyes, I knew what was on his mind.
He remembered it, he still felt the ghost of his mouth on mine, his hands on my skin. All that lovely forbidden heat. My tongue flicked out, moistening my bone-dry lips, and Mason followed that movement. But a buzzing in my pocket dragged my eyes away, and when I pulled out my phone, I felt a much deeper, more welcome flush as I answered it.
“You’re here?” I said in a much smaller voice. There was no point, everyone in the room would have heard me, but a part of me wanted to keep this, him, to myself.
“Just rolled into town,” Zack said, and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. “Tell me where to go, babe, and I’m there.”
“Go onto Commercial Street and drive until you find the biggest building.”
“A castle for the pack princess, huh?” He chuckled. “Yeah, I think I see it.”
“You sound fucked. Pull over and tell me where you are. I can come and get you.”
A grunt pulled my attention away from the call, from the welcome rasp of Zack’s voice. Mason had taken half a step forward, something I didn’t think he’d realised.
“Don’t worry, nearly there. I better get off the phone before the cops sting me, but yeah, I’ll need to crash when I get there.”
“OK, well, see you soon.”
I was met by a wall of interested eyes when I put my phone down, their collective gaze oppressive. Nothing I’d done had gotten me this much attention since I’d left. Well, almost nothing.
“So you’ve got a visitor coming?” Nance asked brightly, the tone only a little forced.
“A friend of mine, Zack. He was worried about me, so he came down to see if I was OK.” Something I realised none of my family had expressed. I frowned for a moment, staring at the table. “He’s just a friend. There’s no way he’d want to be pack alpha, so I expect everyone to treat him with respect while he’s here.”
“Of course,” Nance said, dropping me a nod, just like she would have done for Dad.
I got up and walked out of the room, ending the meeting, and didn’t feel like I could really breathe until I was out the big ceremonial doors at the front of the building. Standing on the main street, I felt the breeze in my hair, tugging at it as I waited for Zack’s big ute to arrive. But I wasn’t alone for long, Mason’s face like thunder when he appeared beside me.
“Who’s the guy? This the one you came here stinking of?”
I just stared at him for a moment, trying to read that inscrutable face, but a beep of a car horn stopped that in its tracks. Something lightened inside me when I saw the car pull into one of the reserved carparks, even though I could see Zack looked like shit through the windscreen. I was down off the footpath and around to his door in moments, then he was jumping out and sweeping me into his arms. My eyes closed on automatic as I felt and smelt home. My fingers dug in deeper, my arms wrapping tighter.
“It’s all right, babe. I’m here
now.”
I held on way too long, hearing the beat of my heart in my eardrums, marking the time I spent hugging Zack, but I just couldn’t let go. That muscular body, those solid arms. I felt like I was being sheltered by a huge boulder or a massive tree or something. Something eternal, that could never be taken from me. A ragged sigh clawed its way out of me as I exhaled something I’d been holding onto since I left the city.
Zack closed that small gap, holding me so tight, my ribs ached, but I didn’t want him to let go. My hand slid up, tangling in the longer strands of hair at his neck before he dropped his head down and kissed the top of my head.
“This is him?” The voice took a while to register, but it soon became clear. For some reason, Mason was pissed. “This is the guy you came back here reeking of?”
Zack didn’t want to let me go, I could feel the reluctance in his arms and felt the same, but we compromised when I turned around, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me in close as we faced the beta down together. That, I expected. What Zack said next? Not so much.
“Long time, no see, brother.”
Chapter 8
My eyes jerked up and saw that same slow smile on Zack’s face he usually sported when some boofhead came into the gym, wanting to take him on, but it was Mason he was staring down, not some tweaker. My eyes flicked between the two of them, seeing what I’d kinda always known but not understood why—Zack looked like Mason, though he was bigger, heavier in the body, and he was all lazy amusement where Mason fairly bristled.
“This is the dickhead who turned you down?” Zack looked down at me, inspecting all my scruffy, tear stained glory and making me feel like I was some kind of Victoria’s Secret model. “He always did have difficulty knowing the difference between his arse and a hole in the ground.”
