by Sam Hall
“Let’s take her to the hot tub,” Mason said, his voice oddly like his brother’s—softer, surer. “You can hold her in there, give her muscles a soak. It’s what we do after a training session.”
“Show me,” was all Zack would say, and then Mason did.
Chapter 10
I woke up the next day, embarrassed. Zack stirred when I did, looking down at me through bleary eyes.
“Don’t,” was all he would say, as if the flush of shame was spelled out on my skin. My eyes darted away and I curled down into a ball, but he wasn’t having that. He pushed me flat on the bed, came forward, and kissed me, despite my squeaks about morning breath. When I relented, going loose under him, he pulled back.
“This whole thing is bullshit. You’ve gone through so much and more is coming. We could bail. We could get in the car, drive back to the city, leave all this shit behind.” I could hear it, the hope in his voice, the need. I could imagine it too, my arm out the window, my hand feeling the waves in the air as we escaped…
“But you won’t.”
But I wouldn’t. I’d skipped out, lived a lovely life of reprieve, and this was what happened. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my father, to show him… I shook my head. This was what I’d been born to do—keep the peace, ensure the future prosperity of Lupindorf, take a mate, see to bearing the next generation of female heirs.
And watch over the old alpha as he was returned to Mother Moon.
I went to sit up, that prime directive vibrating inside me, but Zack rolled on top, pinning my hands to the bed and settling between my legs before kissing me deeply. I tried to wriggle, to buck him off, but those persistent soft lips got the better of me. I wanted to surrender to them, to suck that too full bottom lip of his into my mouth. I wanted to get lost in all that hot, sweet…
A sharp knock at the door put paid to that.
“I’ve gotta go,” I said as I pulled back.
“Not yet,” Zack purred, looking down at me, at my squirming, with a wide grin. “I’m coming with you today.”
“Zack—”
“I’m your fucking shadow, Paige. Remember that.”
“You won’t be able to—”
“Then wherever I can go, I’ll be. You’re not going through all of this alone.”
My head fell back on the pillow. “Fine.”
“Because you need to remember, no matter what happens, no matter what’s going on, you are—”
“Enough,” I finished for him, knowing the line but not really feeling its intent right now. But I nodded to keep Zack happy, the twist of his mouth making it plain he wasn’t convinced, but he’d take what he could get. Zack was still pulling on his clothes when I opened the door to see Mason standing there, but his eyes went to his brother, not me, just watching him pull a T-shirt over his head.
“I’m sorry, Paige, but your family is here.”
“I guessed that. Thanks.” I opened the door wider, readying myself to go out, Zack at my back.
“You need to stay out of this, brother,” Mason said when he went to follow me.
“I’m not leaving her.”
“She just made a deal with all the men in town who think they can take the role of alpha, promising that they can fight to win the position and court her. If you follow her around like a little puppy, sleep with her, drown her in your scent, mark her indelibly as yours, they won’t be able to miss that and the message that sends.”
“Good. They fucking shouldn’t.” Zack moved until he was almost toe to toe with Mason. “I’m not leaving her. I’m not walking away from her right when she needs me the most.”
“What she needs is to settle this. If there’s a way to change who the alpha female is, find it. Then you can do exactly as you please, but until then, keep your distance.” Mason reached into his pocket and found a ring of keys and threw them to Zack. “There’s a spare room in the enforcers’ quarters. You can stay there until we’ve sorted things out.”
“You cold fucking prick. I’ll fight every damn one of those contenders if that’s what it takes to keep Paige, then leave you the keys to the city. Or is that what this is about? What you want?” Zack snarled.
“You have no idea what I want,” Mason retorted, but his eyes dropped to me rather than his brother. “Have another shower, use the gel in the bathroom and the shampoo. You need to wash every trace of his scent off if you’re to pull this off.”
“Fine,” I ground out.
He wasn’t lying, Mason. I felt the truth of his words in my bones, but how did that bastard just stand there, with eyes like ice, as he sliced me clear in two?
Because that’s what Mason does, my brain supplied. Duty and honour before all else.
He should’ve accepted my offer and agreed to become the next alpha, because no one was better suited. I yanked my clothes off and tossed them on the floor before doing exactly as Mason said—scrubbing myself until I was squeaky clean. But when I got dressed in fresh clothes, Mason was waiting and Zack wasn’t.
“Got rid of him, huh?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. I was going for defiant because I couldn’t display the way I actually felt. “Do you get some sort of kick from crushing me? Is it like the only thing that gets you hard?” I looked down at the front of his jeans for an insulting length of time, and sure enough, when I looked back, he was fuming. I smiled when I saw his jaw flex, that tell that always made it clear when I’d pissed him off, but I felt no joy in it.
“I didn’t ask him to go to upset you. I did it because—”
“You know what? Save it. It doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. This is just the same old Mason bullshit.”
I went to push past him. If I was going to have to endure this shit, I was going to at least enjoy the dubious pleasure of flouncing off. But his hand snapped out, stopping me in the middle of my stalk, then he wrenched me back and pushed me against the wall.
“If you’re disappointed that everything is still the same with me, how do you think I feel, seeing you refuse to listen to me, again? Walking off in a snit, again. Casting everything I fucking do for this family in a shitty light, no matter what it does to me, again. You know what? Last night, I felt a glimmer of fucking hope. That scene in the forest could’ve been a bloodbath, but you managed to redirect it and come up with a sane way forward that may actually work. When I saw you work that fucking bag, I could see the discipline and determination you’ve put in. Where is she now?”
He went to poke me in the shoulder, but my hand whipped up, wrapping around his wrist and twisting it until he thought better of that idea. For a moment, there was just the tremble of our muscles, the sharp slice of our gazes, as we fought for dominance.
“She’s hurting, Mason.” I hated the ragged tone of my voice, even as it gave greater credence to my words. “And you just took the one person who can make me feel better away.”
Well, that transformed his face. I should’ve been glad, because I had a ringside seat for catching a real genuine expression on Mason’s face, something I didn’t think I’d ever seen. It warped into a sneer, his lips curling, his eyes glittering.
“Is that how he got his hooks into you? Made you strong and hard and fit, but left that fatal flaw in your armour? Whatever you achieve, no matter what you do, you still need Zack to make it all right again.”
“Fuck…” I broke our holds with ease now, since there was no real desire in Mason to keep me pinned. “That’s how you live your life? No one gets under your ‘armour’? Needing no one for support?” I shook my head. “I used to be so angry with you for turning me down like that, but now? I just feel sorry for you.”
His claws dug into the wall, I could hear the gouges he made, but I ducked out from under his arms, walked down the hall and then the stairs, and made a beeline for the conference room where my family waited.
“Paige…” Aunty Nance said with tear filled eyes, walking towards me, arms outstretched.
“Yes, Paige,” Alan said. “What the hell hap
pened last night? The rumour mill has gone mad. Saying you’re organising some kind of tournament?”
“No.” I sat down in the chair at the head of the table, my father’s chair. I could feel the way the foam had been moulded to fit his body, not mine, and somehow, me sitting in the gap he’d made seemed fitting. “We’re not doing that now. We’re not talking about any of that until the funeral is over. I’ll go to Dad’s side of the family, talk to them about how they want to proceed and make the arrangements, then I’ll sit vigil for him tonight. Mason will organise a town meeting to discuss the proposal for handling the succession.”
He’d arrived at the door, face like a thunder cloud, but he nodded respectfully when I mentioned his name.
“We’ll hold a meeting before that, but I won’t be disrespecting my father’s memory by squabbling over who gets to be alpha before he’s in the ground, am I clear?”
I was, but they didn’t want to accept it. I could see it in the shifting eyes and their restless movements in their chairs, but I didn’t wait around for them to object.
“Who do I need to take with me to Nan’s place?” I asked Mason stiffly as I walked to the door.
“I’ll drive and have several of the enforcers with us. That should be sufficient. Even the hottest of heads know not to mess with a vigil. My car is parked around the back.”
He pulled out his phone, tapping out a message as we strode through the house to the rear carpark, several men coming from the enforcers’ quarters at the back of the house.
“Hey, you OK?” Declan asked, moving in closer, reaching out to put a hand on my shoulder, but a growl from Mason stopped him.
I smiled, a fragile forced thing, but I’d take whatever kindness I could find right now. I needed it to get me through this. I completed the gesture, taking his hand, feeling that weird mix of familiar and unfamiliar when I did. In year eleven, these hands went a whole lotta places, but while the freckled skin was the same, now they were much larger, the skin tougher, a scattering of reddish hair across the back of it. I rubbed my thumb across it, just focussing on the way the hair sprung back when it passed before nodding.
“No, and I won’t be for some time,” I replied belatedly. “But thanks for asking.”
I saw the intake of breath, the expansion of that broad chest as he went to say something else, ask something else. I couldn’t pick up their scent like they could mine, but I saw it, in those keen eyes, ones that had caressed my body thoroughly last night. “After,” I said, not giving anything else away, watching to see if he understood. Declan nodded, blinking and looking a little abashed, but he recovered by grabbing my hand and holding it tight before drawing me over to the now open car door.
“It’ll get better,” he said in a low voice as we settled into the back seat. “It won’t feel like it for a while, but it does.”
Chapter 11
It was only when I pulled up to Nan’s place that it felt real. I watched Mason get out of the car first, go to meet Nan and my paternal aunties standing at the gate. He’d obviously let them know I was here. I stared at the purplish hydrangeas poking about the cute little white picket fence, the riotous geraniums growing in the gap between it and the footpath, and was hit instantly with all the memories of playing in the front garden.
“Ready?” Declan asked. He tried to smile, but it didn’t work and that wasn’t good. He’d always had a ready grin, his role as class clown a big reason why I’d been drawn to him. But those whiskey-coloured eyes dropped down to my lips, his brow creasing for a moment before he opened the door and ushered me out.
“Nan—” I started, trying to keep my voice even as I got to the gate, but she surged forward, surrounding me with surprisingly strong arms and a cloud of lavender scent, her body soft as a pillow when I sank into it.
“There’s our girl.” Her hand stroking the top of my head held the echo of all the times she had before, soothing me through tears and tantrums, tying who I’d become as a person to her. “She’ll be staying here until it’s done.”
“April, she—” Mason said.
“I know. Everyone knows. Damn gossips in this town are having a field day, but there’ll be none of that, not until my Adam has… Not until he’s been taken back by Mother Moon. I won’t stand for anything else, Mason Klein. You’re a good man. You stood by my son for many years, but I won’t budge on this.”
“Of course. I’ll station some of the men around the house.”
“You’ll pick someone other than yourself and stay here until it’s done. The house is big enough, and you need to see him to his final resting place as much as any.”
A long sigh, and then there would have been a nod. Nan might not have been of the alpha’s line, but she was plenty strong enough to assert herself over most people.
“C’mon then. I’ve got the kettle on and it’s time for tea.”
“Look at you, all grown up!” Aunty Lyn held me at arm’s length, looking me over with a smile. “What did they do to you in that big city? You look like you could take on the world.”
“She’s too skinny, is what she is,” Nan said, bustling around the kitchen, and as if in agreeance with her, my stomach rumbled noisily. “Sit down, sit down. I’ll put some toast, eggs, and bacon on for breakfast.”
“Nan…”
“Don’t you Nan me.” My grandmother spun around, fixing me with those steely blue eyes of hers. Dad’s eyes. Either way, no one could gainsay them, her will beating down on mine. “They don’t look after you in the big house. All alpha this and succession that. You tell me differently, and I might believe you.”
Aunty Rose slipped in, taking a seat at the big kitchen table on the other side of me, grabbing my hand and squeezing it as I shook my head. I felt disloyal, the age-old prohibition of not sharing what went on inside the estate pushing at me, but this was my family. While I wasn’t counted as much by the rest of town, Dad’s family had more than made up for that, always embracing me wholeheartedly and often picking up the pieces the others left.
“That’s what I thought. Adam wouldn’t want you neglecting yourself.” I glanced at the aunties, saw that they noted the faint tremble in Nan’s jaw too, but didn’t say anything. “It isn’t fair, my love, what happened, the way it happened, but that’s the pain of those who are left behind. We get to endure that peculiar kind of agony, of seeing to our body and our mind’s needs, right when our hearts hurt the most.”
She nodded to the table, to Declan and Mason and the other men he’d brought with him as they all took a seat. Nan had a massive open plan kitchen-dining room for this reason, because unlike the cool of the conference room in the alpha residence, this was the heart of her house. I’d sat here playing cards and board games with my family, my aunties and uncles and cousins all clustered around. Other times it was munching on Nan’s homemade biscuits as the adults talked about stuff none of us kids could understand, but we listened anyway. A lot of what I’d learned about politics, about leadership and how to do it well, I’d picked up here.
“You better let her feed you,” Rose said with her characteristically husky voice. “It’s how she communicates. I love you, eat this. You need help, eat that.”
“You’re in trouble, swallow this. God, cod liver oil,” Lyn said with a shake of her head.
“Well, you’ll get bacon and eggs today if you behave,” Nan said, firing up the hotplates.
“Mum, the doctor has said I need to cut back on the cholesterol.”
“What would that boy know? I still remember him running bare arse naked as a baby when his mother and I were pregnant with our next ones.” Nan laid out slab after slab of meat on the grill. But when she turned around, her face was solemn. “What we have ahead, the vigil, this will be hard on all of us. He…” Nan’s only concession to emotion was a sharp shake of her head. “He went too soon. Every mother feels that way, but to bury your child…” Her eyes dropped down to scorch holes in the well cared for linoleum. “It isn’t fair. Hard to believe tha
t this is the Mother’s will, especially for Paige…”
I shrank a little in my chair at their collective gaze being directed at me, until Nan’s frown had me straightening again.
“You’ll need your strength, all of you. Mason, you’ll help select those of Adam’s boys who’ll carry the casket?”
“Of course, April. Declan and Micah here are willing.”
“I’d be honoured,” Dec said as she transferred food to plates.
“For a feed of that bacon, I’d do just about anything,” the other man said, peering at the plates as they were ferried over. I didn’t know Micah well. He hadn’t been an enforcer before I left school, but he looked across the table, all tawny brown skin and reddish hair but with startling grey eyes that winked at me before he was a picture of the polite guest as Nan slid him a plate with a chuckle.
“Nan, I can’t eat that much,” I protested as I was served the lion’s share.
“Course you can. Meyer women are known for their appetites.” Meyer was Dad’s last name, but he’d changed it to Spehr like all alphas did. A couple of choked responses had us looking down the table, where Declan and Micah were eating oh so respectfully.
Once everyone’s plates were groaning with food, toast buttered and dispensed, tea poured, Nan finally sat down.
“Your father was worried he didn’t have long,” she said, resting her elbows on the table and clasping her hands. “We spoke about it before…” She let out a long sigh. “The details are all organised. The funeral home out on Jetty Road has him, and we’ll conduct a viewing tomorrow, but tonight, we’ll go to the chapel and sit for my son, your brother,” she nodded to my aunties, “your father, your alpha. Any and all who wish to mark his passing are welcome to come, but all of this…unpleasantness will be left at the door.”
