by Marian Keyes
She ignored me. She had more important things on her mind.
“What’s he like?” she said, drawing conspiratorially nearer to me and dropping her voice several decibels. “Has he got a big one?”
“What kind of a question is that?” I asked, pretending to be horrified.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she lied.
“Helen!” I said, my head swimming slightly. I think I would have preferred it if she had been furious with me. Now I’d have to put up with her being my best friend so that she could find out what Adam was like in bed so that she could tell everyone.
“Where is he anyway?” I asked her.
“In the kitchen sucking up to Mum. But never mind that,” she said enthusiastically. “I think he loves you.”
“Oh, Helen, go away,” I said, starting to feel exhausted.
“No, really, I do,” she promised.
“Really?” I asked tentatively. I was such a sucker. I shouldn’t have listened to anything she said. At my age I really should have had more sense.
“Yes,” she said, sounding unusually serious.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he had a huge hard-on when he was talking about you just now.” Then she screamed with laughter. “I really got you going there, didn’t I?”
“Oh, go away, would you?” I said.
I’d had enough for one day.
“Sorry,” sniggered Helen. “No, I am, I promise. I do think he loves you.
I really do. And let’s face it, if anyone’s an expert on men being in love, it’s me.”
She had a point.
“Do you love him?” she demanded.
“I don’t know,” I said awkwardly. “I don’t really know him well enough to say. But I like him a lot. Will that do?”
“It’ll have to,” she said thoughtfully. “I hope you do love each other. I hope you’ll be happy together.”
“Gosh, thank you, Helen,” I said, really touched. Tears sprang to my eyes. I was overwhelmed by her good wishes.
“Yes,” she said vaguely. “I’ve a bet on with that cow Melissa Saint that she won’t get a date with him before the end of the summer. I was actually starting to get a bit worried but this is great. A godsend. She hasn’t a hope now because you’ll keep him well out of her way.
“That’s the easiest bet I ever won,” she said, rubbing her hands together gleefully. “Yes,” she continued, sounding very pleased. “I must say this has all worked out very well. Very well indeed.”
About the Author
MARIAN KEYES is Irish, but lived in London for ten years before returning to Dublin. She is the author of six novels: Watermelon, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married, Rachel’s Holiday, Last Chance Saloon, Angels, and Sushi for Beginners.
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Praise for Marian Keyes
Watermelon
“A grand first novel…. A hilarious treatise on love’s roller coasters…. A candid, irresistibly funny debut and perfect summertime read.”
— Kirkus Reviews
“Watermelon introduces readers to the trials and tribulations of an irresistible, and suddenly single, heroine.”
— Houston Chronicle
“An eccentric romantic comedy full of wicked good humor.”
— New York Times Book Review
Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
“Keyes’s tale is both hilarious and suspenseful, and so warmly told it feels just like comfy girl talk with a cherished friend.”
— Booklist
“The effervescent narrative is fueled by witty repartee…. Its sentiments are heartfelt and its progress sprightly.”
— Publishers Weekly
Rachel’s Holiday
“Irresistibly funny.”
— Seattle Times
“Compelling…. Genuinely satisfying…. [A] delightful novel….
Rachel is an endearing character…. Hilarious and surprisingly charming.”
— USA Today
“Hilarious but poignant…. A marvelous journey…. A delightful page-turner…. Keyes’s third novel is her most serious and yet her funniest.”
— Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Last Chance Saloon
“Wonderful…. Keyes is a master at fleshing out wacky young characters whom most of us would love to have as a best friend—charming and brave and flawed enough to feel validly human.”
— Newark Star-Ledger
“Sidesplitting…. Exciting until the very last page.”
— Redbook
Also by Marian Keyes
Angels
Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
Rachel’s Holiday
Last Chance Saloon
Credits
Cover design by Eric Fuentecilla
Cover illustration by Beth Adams
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher.
WATERMELON. Copyright © 1995 by Marian Keyes. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
HarperCollins e-books and the HarperCollins e-books logo are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader April 2006
ISBN 0-06-119401-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Keyes, Marian.
Watermelon: a novel/ Marian Keyes. 1st Perennial ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-06-009036-7
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