Helen pauses and says, “You’ve done so much … but I may borrow just enough so I’m presentable at work, if you’re sure it’s okay.”
Joseph laughs as he feigns distress. “Please, Helen, save my wife’s sanity and keep what she left. I’m sure if there is something she simply must have returned she’ll ask for it … or go buy it again in a different color. Mercy loves filling up empty closet space.”
Mercy gives Helen’s shoulder a squeeze, and says, “Please, Helen. My husband is right. It would make me so happy if you would keep it. You told me that if I ever needed a favor, I should ask. So, I’m asking…”
Helen starts to object, but Joseph interrupts her. “So, it’s settled then. Helen gets a few new outfits. Mercy gets to go shopping. And I don’t have to hire a contractor to expand the closet … again. I love it when things work out for everyone.” He extends his hand to Helen. “Allow me to officially introduce myself. I’m Joseph Luce, Mercy’s husband. Have you been working here long?”
“Since two-thirty this morning,” she laughs. “Mercy was kind enough to introduce me to Jonny and Janny, and by the end of the evening, I had a job as the manager and a place to live. They’ve included the guesthouse as part of my employee benefits!”
Mercy is only slightly surprised. “They are wonderful people. We’ve been friends for years.”
Helen explains, “We talked late into the night. Did you know that Jann also lost her brother in Afghanistan? We have so much in common! I really hope we can make it work out.”
“How does Lindsey like the arrangement?” asks Mercy.
“It’s a little different for her. We’ve been on the streets for so long that she hardly remembers having an apartment or friends. I’m enrolling her in the school down the street where Lisbeth goes. It’s close, and if she has an asthma attack, I can get there and back in ten minutes. Jann says that Lindsey can stay at the main house with her or with their au pair if we’re really busy in the restaurant, or I can have her stay in the office here.”
She smiles at Mercy and says, “I wish I could find that mugger and thank him for all of the opportunities and new friends he has brought us.”
“Oh, you’re a better person than I am. If I get to see him again, I will probably be a lot less gracious.”
Helen seats them at their table, and Joseph looks stymied. “Mugger? I didn’t get the whole story, did I?”
“Did I leave that part out?” giggles Mercy.
A bucket of champagne arrives at that moment, and Helen mock whispers, “Let me know if we have to use this bucket to bail you out of the leaking ship.” Mercy and Joseph laugh with their new friend.
Chapter 26
It is a little after 9 a.m. on Saturday, and Susana is ransacking her car for the perfect pair of shoes. As she does so, another car pulls into the driveway at Le Coeur Bel. Noting that it is a midsize domestic sedan, Susana determines that neither the car nor the occupant would be of interest to her.
Carmella Crayton, the “Party Me Hearties” columnist who is Joseph’s newest client, emerges from the sedan and notices Susana searching frantically through her Hennessey.
Not sure where to go, it is clear to Carmella that Susana probably would not be the best person to ask.
Locating the shoes, Susana looks down the hill at the Bella Palermo Caterers setting up for the party. She waves and smiles a sincere smile at Sal, who, she can immediately tell from his frustrated, hangdog look, has obviously had another argument with Beth.
“Poor Sal. Why he puts up with that harpy, I’ll never know,” she mutters to herself.
As Beth continues storming toward the house and away from Sal, she intentionally sideswipes Susana, hard enough to send her flying up against the side of her car.
Despite being underweight, Susana’s workout regimen has gifted her with a lot of muscle. She stands up and throws a roundhouse punch, sending Beth flying backward. Beth recovers and lunges at her opponent, shoving her into the passenger’s side of her Hennessey.
Just before the fight escalates into an episode of Girls Gone Wild, Wesley runs out of the house to break up the fight. He pauses before intervening, and says, “Meh, maybe not. Those two deserve to beat the daylights out of each other.”
Susana takes a swing at Beth, connecting at the midsection. Beth doubles over, spins around and walks into the house, straightening her clothes and hair as she goes.
Susana smiles at her kickboxing class payoff, and calls in a more sophisticated tone, “Wesley! Could you give me a hand?”
Wesley is torn between responding to Susana’s request for help and approaching Carmella, who looks lost. Susana makes the decision for him by dropping a load of clothes over his arms.
“I have a lot of clothes that need to go inside if you want to send out more help,” Susana says. “Do you like my new Choos?” pointing at the Jimmy Choos she just stuffed in his pockets.
Wesley nods, not daring to express aloud what his real opinion is of Mark’s fiancée. He is on edge, noticing that she can see Blaine and Dana arguing in the library from her vantage point.
So can Carmella, and she is holding a camera.
The butler decides to do nothing about Carmella unless she turns the camera toward the library window. The argument is ongoing, and Dana is continuing to stumble around the room, but Carmella is so far showing no signs of wanting to capture any of the action for a sale to TMZ, so that is one less problem for Wesley, at least for now.
Susana is another matter. Having tuned into the raucous scene unfolding in the library, the young woman says loudly, “Let me guess … Dana is having another bad day?”
Outwardly, Wesley replies, “I wouldn’t know, Miss. I’m just the butler.” Inwardly, he thinks, I wish I could tell you that’s my sister you’re talking about. I’d boot your billion-dollar-butt back across the equator.
Susana gripes, “I thought Mark’s father left the house in trust to him. Isn’t Dana old enough to get a place of her own?”
Wesley gathers up her shopping bags and thinks to himself, A. That’s reprehensible. And B., As long as there’s a plastic surgeon left in Beverly Hills, nobody in this zip code will ever look a day over forty.
Susana continues to load Wesley up with clothes and bags. “Can’t Dana get struck by lightning or catch cholera and get out of my life?”
Wesley replies silently to himself, I don’t know. Couldn’t you take all these clothes and move far, far away? I hear Canada is nice this time of year. Maybe I can get you on one of Elon’s rockets to Mars.
Susana continues to complain. “I don’t think I can live with Dana after Mark and I are married. I know he doesn’t get his trust fund until he’s thirty, but maybe you can talk her into looking for another place and get her out of my house. Of course, Mark and I would keep you on here, you’re such wonderful help.”
Wesley fakes a “thank you” smile as he thinks of what he wishes he could reply. He thinks to himself, She had better hope that Dana makes it until Mark is thirty. Otherwise, Dana’s will is made out to give Mark one-third of her estate. Blaine gets one-third, and as her brother, I get one-third. And she’s leaving me the house. Aloud, he simply replies, “Thank you for the compliment.”
Susana grabs some jewelry out of the console and drops it into Wesley’s other pocket. “What if Dana throws a drunken tantrum in front of our kids? Not that we are having kids now. At least when I’m pregnant, I’ll be able to eat...”
Wesley thinks about her comment but speaks to himself. Great. Pregnancy will give you an excuse to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.
Having gotten no juicy gossip from Wesley, Susana gives her meddling one more try. “Don’t be stoic, Wesley. I won’t tell Dana what you say about her.”
Wesley busies himself rearranging the load of clothes that he has to carry and tells himself, Stoic-schmoic. Someday, I’ll have the pleasure of telling you that Dana is my sister.
Susana leans against the Hennessey, exhausted from unloadi
ng the mountain of clothes from the seats and trunk into Wesley’s waiting arms. She spots Sal and primps in the side mirror of her car.
Wesley frees himself of Susana as tactfully as possible. “I’m sure you’ll look lovely in any of these many, many, many outfits that you might wear tonight. May I take them all inside for you?”
“Yes, thank you, Wesley. I think I’ll go down and speak to Sal, since Beth is in the house. I’m in no mood to deal with her any more today than I already have.”
Wesley teeters under the Kilimanjaro of clothes that he is carrying when he feels a pair of hands reach into the stack and take half of it to help him.
Carmella says, “Why don’t I lend you a hand? Where do you want these?”
Grateful but suspicious of the camera slung around her shoulder, Wesley replies, “That’s very nice of you, Miss, but we don’t allow the paparazzi in the house. How did you get past the guard gate, by the way?”
Carmella, a bit embarrassed, says, “At least let me hold these for you so you can make two trips then. And the guard let me in. I believe I’m expected. I’m Carmella Crayton…”
“…the ‘Party Me Hearties’ columnist! We’ve been expecting you. I’m so sorry, Ms. Crayton. I’m afraid your camera gave me pause.”
Carmella waves the camera toward him. “I totally understand. As you can see, the lens cap is on. No photos by me except as approved. And I don’t take personal pictures or candids for the tabloids. I’m strictly here to report on food, fashion, fun and decorations.”
“I apologize for jumping to conclusions. Please follow me into the house, and thank you for the assistance,” says Wesley.
“My pleasure. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name, Mr….?”
“Holley-Smythe. Wesley Holley-Smythe. I’m Ms. Montgomery’s erm … butler.”
They enter the house, and Carmella says, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Holley-Smythe.” They set the two large piles of clothes down in the foyer.
Wesley turns to Carmella, and surprising both of them, he takes her hand and gives it a proper European-style kiss. “Please call me Wesley, and the pleasure is mine.” Carmella blushes, but her admiring gaze lingers on the face of the handsome man.
Chapter 27
At 11 a.m. on Saturday, Francesca Wilde pulls her Bentley Continental GT convertible up to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Even with the top down, her hair, makeup and Chanel suit are immaculate. The valet smiles at her license plate, WILDE1. The beautiful, impeccably dressed actress hands him her keys and breezes inside to have brunch at the hotel’s iconic Polo Lounge.
Lucienne parks her unmarked Chevrolet Tahoe police SUV on North Crescent to avoid valet parking an LAPD vehicle, then walks briskly up the long driveway. Dressed conservatively in her standard buttoned-down shirt and simple slacks, she definitely is the only person in sight whose clothing screams Five-O. Gawkers and patrons stare, and for once, she wishes that she had dressed a little less like a cop and had driven her Lotus Evija that sits mostly undriven in her garage.
The hostess leads Lucienne to Francesca’s table without asking whom she is meeting. Despite the fact that neither of Francesca’s daughters ever sought jobs in the spotlight, their lives always have been fodder for the tabloids because of their famous mother … sometimes to the point that Lucienne has flashed her badge and a warning look at a foolish paparazzo who dared follow her to a crime scene.
It is one of the many reasons that, despite her “sensible” wardrobe, suitable for a police detective, there always is something a “step above” for her in the style department. Her incredible beauty defies the need for a lot of makeup, but she will accent it with simple ball earrings, and they will be simple ball earrings from Tiffany.
Francesca stands, and with a theatrical swoop, hugs her daughter as the cameras flash. Lucienne hugs back as she has been taught, so as not to block her mother’s face or muss her hair. Mother and daughter sit down, smiling, Lucienne through gritted teeth.
Lucienne says, “So glad you’re back, Mom. Missed you bunches.”
Francesca replies, “I missed you too, dear. Sorry the film had me gone so long. The director was one of those who shoots every shot in every conceivable way so the Rusty and Michael will have to make something out of the mess in postproduction because the director has no planning or vision.” Despite her irritation, her smile never fails so those around them assume that they are talking about something that they enjoy.
Lucienne follows her mother’s lead, recognizing that there are tourists and locals with their cell phones out, busily snapping memories or photos to sell. Her jaw tight, she smiles, “Was there some reason that we had to meet here? You know some pretty venal vultures are right outside.”
Not missing a beat, Francesca says, “Why yes, dear. I realize that unimportant news like the entertainment industry trades don’t usually have a big following at police headquarters, but word leaked out that this little “twerp director” named Gregg Buck couldn’t get it together and threw temper tantrums to cover up his inadequacies. It’s necessary to show that all is well with the world, and that I’m returning from a successful shoot as a happy camper.”
Lucienne manages to push her snarl into a grin, “Ugh. I would rather deal with a dozen criminals a day than one self-righteous twerp and have to pretend that I like him.”
“Yes, I believe it’s what law enforcement calls ‘aiding and abetting.’ The cast and crew stay quiet in public and do not give interviews on what a disaster the production was. A few well-placed sources get the word back to the studio that the twerp’s bad preparation and lack of planning wasted our time and the studio’s money. Then we wait and hope that enough of the truth gets back to the right people, so they don’t hire the twerp again.”
Lucienne smiles her first real smile of the lunch date. “Nice cop lingo, Mom. Do some auditioning for a Dick Wolf series while you were in the Big Apple?”
“I would if he shot his shows here, but I can’t be in New York for an entire season. I’d miss my family too much.” Francesca pauses and continues her thought. “Remind me to call him to see if I can get a guest shot, though. I was so busy standing around waiting for twerp-boy to ‘gel his vision’ that I didn’t get nearly enough shopping done.”
Both women laugh sincerely as the waiter approaches. Francesca orders and pulls the waiter a bit closer for a request. He nods and approaches the diners with their cell phones out and requests that they be put away for the privacy of the other diners.
Lucienne says, “You know, you could have done that ten minutes ago and saved my facial muscles from the fake smile.”
Francesca replies, “Yes, I could have, but I needed to get some happy snaps posted online. Otherwise, we could have had lunch at my house, couldn’t we?”
Chapter 28
Outside Le Coeur Bel, Susana leans against her car door and slips on the Miu Miu crystal-adorned sandals that she located in the Hennessey and teeters through the grass and down the hill toward Sal.
Susana almost makes it without incident before hitting a soft spot in the grass. The heel of the sandal sinks in the fresh sod and sends her flying.
Sal catches her as she takes a header over the bar. She gives him a sexy smile as his strong hands wrap around her falling body. “Whoa there, Susana. I just got the bar set up. Trying to keep it off the ground till after the party,” he teases.
Recovering, Susana leans against Sal with a long, soft squeeze. Sal chuckles at sight of the maid, Sula, struggling to get the last of Susana’s clothes out of the Hennessey. “Nice duds, Susana. You planning to open a clothing store here at the mansion?”
Susana sighs, snuggles up against Sal again and picks up the condiments. She wraps her manicured fingers around the salt and peppershakers and the sugar bowls, moving them around seductively. “I’d have become a professional shopper if I needed to work. I don’t know how to do much else. I can act. I can shop. I can make dinner reservations.”
Sal jokes sarcastically
, “What an awful thought! You having to work? Maybe I could give you a catering job.”
Susana sighs, squeezes Sal again and picks up the condiments. She starts filling up the sugar bowls and salt and pepper shakers.
“You might want to rethink that offer. I’m a lousy cook,” she says with a theatrical flourish. “However, I can help you set up the sugar and salt if you’d like.”
Sal watches her fill the sugar bowl and reaches over and takes her hand. “You don’t have to help, Susana. It looks like you just had a manicure.”
She smiles at him. “Yes, I did! You’re so sweet to notice! Does Beth know how lucky she is to have you?”
Sal shakes his head. “Who knows what Beth thinks? You two had a chance to catch up when she was going into the house … again. Maybe you should ask her.” He somehow manages to sound annoyed and a little seductive at the same time.
Susana reaches around Sal to get more sugar. She fills a sugar bowl and teeters it slowly to the main table, placing it in front of where Dana and Blaine will be seated.
Susana stumbles as she leaves the bowl but does not spill any of the sugar. Realizing that the uneven ground has many loose divots from the party equipment movers, she kicks off her stilettos and returns to Sal, barefoot.
She tells Sal, “I think that Beth and I have seen each other enough for a while. I’ll stay and help you, if that’s okay.”
“Of course. You and Beth do seem to bring out the worst in each other.”
She speaks to the sugar bowls. “Come on, sugar. You and I are going to spread some sweetness around this place.”
Sal laughs. “Now, I’m jealous. I can’t believe I’m jealous of a bunch of sugar bowls! Do you know how many times I’ve wanted you to call me ‘sugar’ and offer to share some sweetness with me?”
Susana finishes filling the sugar bowls and starts filling the saltshakers. She teases, “If you like my sweet talk, you should hear my salty talk.” She sprinkles salt on her hand, licks it seductively and chases it with a little swig of tequila and a lime.
The Case of the Stained Stilettos Page 11
