“Yes! Do you understand now?” Dana asks.
“No!” Joseph says. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”
“That’s because you left out the part about killing Mark!” Dana replies.
“You’re trying to kill Mark?” Joseph says.
“Not me. Blaine!” Dana contradicts.
“You’re trying to kill Blaine?” exclaims Joseph. “Why not just divorce him?”
“Because I love him!” sputters Dana.
Joseph shakes his head. “You get drunk and browbeat the poor guy to get rid of him because you love him so much? And you get over-the-top drunk to push him away … or push him to murder you. And the only way he can prove he loves you is to stay with you no matter what and not kill you.”
“Yes! Now you’ve got it,” Dana says with delight.
“No, I don’t. That makes no sense at all. Dana, I’ve never felt sorry for Blaine until now. I always thought he deserved every bit of vitriol that he got from you. And now I learn that it’s a ridiculous plan to get him to prove his love. Maybe we can get you off on an insanity defense.”
“You don’t understand! It’s all to save Mark!” Dana cries.
Joseph sinks back into the couch. “Huh?”
“Let me take it from the top … I was trying to make sure that Blaine didn’t murder Mark,” Dana explains.
“When was he planning to do that?” Joseph asks
“I don’t know,” Dana replies. “Maybe never. But if that’s his plan, he has to murder him before Mark turns thirty. If Mark dies before he’s thirty, I inherit his part of Daniel’s fortune. So, Blaine kills Mark and then he kills me, so he gets it all! Why don’t you understand?”
The “lightbulb” goes off in Joseph’s head as he sees the parts of Dana’s plan fall into place. “Hamlet? You really think that Blaine is trying to inherit all of Daniel’s fortune by using the plot to Hamlet? Dana, are you serious?”
Relieved that he understands, she sinks down onto the divan. “Finally! Yes, Hamlet! I’ve been married to Blaine since Mark was a child, and he hasn’t had an original idea since his midlife crisis,” she laughs.
“You do realize how crazy that sounds?” Joseph says, then mutters to himself, “Dad’s never going to believe this.”
“Now that I say it out loud, it may have been a bit extreme. I admit that too many times, I’ve been more in control of myself than some people might think, even at the party. Sometimes the actress in me gets carried away, I suppose. But to my surprise, Blaine stayed. No matter how far out of control I seemed,” Dana confirmed.
“But that wasn’t enough?” Joseph asks.
“I’m theatrical, Joseph. ‘Theatrical’ people do things big. They imagine things for a living,” Dana says. “I couldn’t understand why he stayed. Who could love a woman who put him through such anxiety, so there had to be another reason, right?” asks Dana.
“I suppose. Or he could be that much in love with you,” replies Joseph.
“You have no idea how much I wish I could believe that,” Dana says.
“So, when he didn’t divorce you, you tried to get him to kill you? Dana, that is perverse.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “If he wanted to inherit everything, he had to kill Mark first, so the trust would revert to me,” she says.
“Then, when I overdosed in my agony over Mark’s death, Blaine would get it all.”
“Woman, have you lost your mind?”
Dana looks to Joseph for reassurance. “I don’t know. Have I lost my mind, Joseph?” she asks. “Poor Sal is dead. He took pills at my house. Why were there poisoned pills at my house? Because I surely did not put them there.”
Joseph gasps, “And you think that Blaine did? You think he wanted to kill you?”
“I have no idea what to think. Killing me now only gets him the part of my estate that he hasn’t spent yet. Plus, he’s never seen my will, so he has no way to know how things are to be divided,” says Dana.
Joseph finally catches up. “But if Mark dies and you get everything, it’s just a small step for him push you into overdosing in your grief ... even if he has to tinker with your medication to push you over the edge.”
“Yes! That’s the only way he can figure out how to get it all,” Dana says.
“As obtuse as the logic is, Dana, I honestly can see how it would be obscure enough to occur to Blaine,” says Joseph. “Let’s not forget that he also has a flair for the dramatic.”
Dana’s gratitude spills out. “Thank you, Joseph. Thank you for understanding.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Dana. What you did may be the most cockamamie thing I’ve ever heard of. If you’re right about Blaine, you could have ended up dead!”
“True, or I could have given him a heart attack because he loves me enough to worry about me too much. I guess there will be no way to find out the answer to that until we know how Sal ended up with poisoned pills,” says Dana.
“Dana, either Blaine loves you very much or he is a much better actor than I ever gave him credit for. When I see fear in his eyes when you go on one of your ‘drunken’ rants, it’s not fear of you. It’s fear for you,” reassures Joseph.
Dana sighs. “Well if he truly is afraid for me, let me stop this sham before I end up giving him a heart attack. Let me tell him the truth right now.”
Dana stands up and heads for the door when Joseph stops her.
“Wait, Dana. You’ve ridden this train this far. Let’s let it go just a little farther down the line,” says Joseph.
“What do you have in mind?” asks Dana.
“Like you said, poisoned pills ended up in your home. Let’s see if we can figure out what happened so that doesn’t happen again,” suggests Joseph.
Chapter 60
The next day, Ethan, James and Francesca knock on the door of Le Coeur Bel while the paparazzi scramble to shoot the big-ticket photo of the day. Fortunately, Ethan has arranged that such a photo will not happen.
Wesley answers the door and Francesca says grandly (and loudly), “Wesley, daahhhllling! Please let Dana know I’m here to take her to lunch, and I’ve brought Ethan and James! They want to join us to thank her for such a wonderful party.”
Wesley, used to the unusual, acts as though Dana has been expecting them. “She’s on the phone. Won’t you please come in? She shouldn’t be long.”
The visitors hustle inside, and Wesley shoots a satisfied smirk at the long lenses.
Dana enters, and James speaks first. “Dana, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’m afraid I’m here to arrest you for the murder of Sal Caggiano. The evidence leaves me no choice.”
James proceeds to read Dana her rights.
Francesca says, “I called Joseph. As your attorney, he asked me to convey that you discuss nothing about the case in front of anyone.”
James explains as though he is still unsure how he got conned into the plan, “Ethan asked me, against my better judgment, to let you ride with him and Francesca. First, we’re going to The Vinery for lunch. I’ll be in the car behind you in case we have paparazzi problems.”
Ethan steps in and helps Dana with her coat. “Dana, there’s a phalanx of photographers outside. I have no intention of putting you through a ‘perp’ walk. There will be no cuffs. We are just four old friends, heading out to The Vinery to lunch. Afterward, we’ll head downtown.”
“Thank you, Ethan. Don’t worry, James. My days of running in stilettos ended three movies ago when a snake got loose on the set and I broke my ankle trying to get away from it,” she laughs.
Dana throws on her “star-quality” stature, dons her sunglasses, and the four old friends exit the mansion. Dana and Francesca get into Ethan’s car and James follows behind, putting as much distance as possible between his suspect and the photographers.
When they arrive downtown after lunch, Dana’s booking is done in secret and a judge stops by James’s office to set bail. Ethan escorts the women out, and they
all pretend that they dropped by to see their old friend James’s new office décor.
“Sometimes, having friends in high places is a good thing,” Francesca whispers into Ethan’s ear as he drops them off. “I’m ready for that ‘real date’ any time you want to ask me.”
Chapter 61
That evening, at home with his wife and mother-in-law, Joseph watches video footage of the crime scene shot by the LAPD and Mercy’s investigating team.
Mercy and Francesca pass through the living room, carrying take-out bags from Bella Palermo Caterers. On cue, two well-fed cats storm into the room, sniffing the air.
Mercy asks, “Which bag has the tuna for the ‘kids?’ They get crabby when dinner is late.”
Joseph laughs. “Those cats eat better than we do.”
“Yes, yes they do,” Mercy replies, without a shred of remorse. She and Francesca disappear into the kitchen, with Mack and Mabel hot on their heels.
Rescued siblings, the cats take their names from the silent screen greats, Mack Sennett and Mabel Normand. Mack is a twenty-pound male who looks like he is dressed in a tuxedo, while his sister, Mabel, an orange-and-white tabby with stunning green eyes, is a comparatively svelte eighteen pounds.
Neither cat is overweight, according to the vet, who believes they are part Maine Coon. “You realize that a Maine Coon can grow to be over thirty pounds?” he had advised them at their initial checkup.
“They mentioned that at the shelter,” Mercy had told him. “We don’t mind. Maybe it will discourage the Chihuahua next door from barking at three in the morning.”
“Or make it worse,” Joseph had quipped, but they got Mack and Mabel anyway.
Francesca picks up Mabel and kisses her head. “Goodness, kitty-cat. I think you’ve gained weight since I last saw you!”
Mercy laughs. “If she hasn’t, it isn’t for the lack of trying.”
Once the cats are fed, Mercy and Francesca reappear in the living room with Bella Palermo food, plates and drinks. They settle in to watch crime scene videos and eat pizza.
Joseph says, “This smells great! We should go there more often.”
Francesca says, “Too late. Without Sal Caggiano, Bella Palermo is going to close. The young woman who waited on us was in tears. Not only was it close enough to HACA for her to walk back and forth to class, but Sal let them work out their schedule to accommodate auditions.”
“They don’t anticipate another owner like that,” says Mercy.
“That’s too bad. We really need to find the real killer. That person has had a negative impact on so many lives in addition to murdering a really good guy,” says Joseph.
Mercy picks up the remote and a stack of reports from the coffee table. “I’m glad I had all the footage burned to a DVD, so we don’t have to use our phones in court to stream. Judges get cranky when they see cell phones.”
“I saw, and I appreciate it. I haven’t seen anything that’s a red flag on the coroner’s report or on any of the videos,” says Joseph. “I’ve been watching the video shot by your team and the LAPD and I also haven’t found anything to prove that Dana is innocent.”
“Joseph, I don’t want you to say anything that you shouldn’t, but is Dana going to jail? I can’t believe she would hurt anyone, except herself, maybe,” asks Francesca.
“I honestly couldn’t say, Ches. There are too many intertwining issues in this case for me to draw a straight line. I’m pretty sure the DA’s office is finding the same thing. The burden of proof lies with the prosecution, not the defense. Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.”
Mercy picks up a piece of garlic bread with one hand and the coroner’s report with the other. She reads aloud.
“The coroner says Sal died from an overdose of extremely concentrated warfarin — the main ingredient in rat poison, available at any market or hardware store.”
Francesca stops eating. “Rat poison? I take a medicine named ‘warfarin sodium’ for my atrial fibrillation!”
Joseph explains, “Not exactly the same thing, but warfarin’s original use was as a rodenticide before they adjusted it for use on humans. It has the same effect, except you take a different configuration. Warfarin sodium is a blood thinner to help with your irregular heartbeat.”
Worried, Francesca asks, “Joseph, does that make me a suspect? I didn’t know Sal that well … just in passing if he were visiting Mark, really.”
“Don’t worry, Francesca. The toxicology shows a concentration that surely does not match your prescription.”
Mercy warns, “Still, I imagine the tabloids could go wild with you and Dana’s rivalry if they find out you take warfarin, so don’t mention that to anyone.”
Mercy turns to Joseph, “Let’s not rat Mom out to the tabloids, okay? Besides, she was with us all night. We’d be accessories, counselor.”
Joseph does his best “forties movie gangster” impersonation: “Hey, I’m no rat, see?”
Francesca laughs, but sounds concerned. “Okay, Scarface. But, should I be worried about my warfarin?”
Mercy says, “No, Mom, but I wouldn’t suggest exceeding the recommended dose, just like any other medicine.”
Joseph explains, “Rat poisons work because a rat finds food in the trash. When he finds the food, the rat takes a bite to see if it makes him sick.”
Joseph continues, “The rat goes off and does whatever a rat does for fun … poker game, watch the Lakers, Tinder…”
“Stop, Joseph! My mom is worried,” chastises Mercy.
“Sorry, Ches,” Joseph continues. “Since the warfarin takes a while to kick in, the rat feels fine, assumes that the food he ate earlier was safe, and he goes back to it and eats some more. Rinse, repeat, and the rat dies after he ingests enough poison.”
Mercy explains, “Since warfarin is tasteless and odorless with a delayed effect, it’s theoretically possible to mix it into food or drinks and go unnoticed for quite some time before the victim becomes sick.”
Joseph says, “Yes, it is definitely a possible scenario. The medical examiner says that a mega-concentration of warfarin killed Sal by inducing an intracerebral hemorrhage, a ‘brain bleed,’ which caused the seizures.”
Francesca is appalled. “What could motivate anyone to kill someone in such a horrible way? It’s unfathomable.”
Mercy says, “Probably the usual … lust, greed, jealousy, mental defect, substance abuse, revenge. Murder motives, whatever the method, are usually pretty consistent.”
Francesca worries, “I know these are my friends, and I admit they all have flaws … as does everyone else. Dana can be extreme. Mark can be self-involved, at times. Blaine is a narcissist. Susana’s as warm as an iceberg. Beth is Beth’s biggest fan. And Wesley stands to…” Francesca stops her thought.
Mercy says, “Wesley stands to what, Mom?”
Francesca looks away. “What, dear? I guess I forgot what I was saying.”
“Mm-hmm,” says Mercy, letting the comment pass. Looking down at the sea of takeout containers, she adds, “My gosh, we still have a lot of food here. Mom, can you pass me the Waldorf salad and that chicken dish?”
Francesca hands her the container, and this commences another round of passing different dishes around until they have each tried a little of everything.
Sitting back and surveying the mess, Mercy ponders their actions and thinks back to the way that the food and drinks were being shared at the party.
“So much food was being passed around, anyone could have doctored someone’s plate. Blaine’s food sat on the table for at least half an hour before he arrived.”
Joseph concurs. “There was a lot of food sharing going on. I saw Mark try to hand-feed dinner to both Dana and Susana.”
Francesca comments, “Somebody should feed Susana. She drank coffee with artificial sweetener all night and played with the cannoli.”
Mercy agrees, saying, “She obviously anorexic. Maybe she poisoned a cannolo and put it on Dana’s, Mark’s, or Blaine’s pla
te. I saw her move the dessert plates at least twice.”
Joseph recalls, “I don’t think I ever saw Susana eat anything, and neither did Blaine. I don’t see how Blaine could have poisoned Sal. He came late and never went to the bar.”
“Maybe Sal wasn’t the target and somebody else was,” suggests Mercy. “Remember, Sal ended up eating somebody’s dinner from an unidentified plate, and he drank somebody’s margarita when he took Mark’s pain pills.”
“So, we’re left with Wesley, Susana, Beth, Blaine, Dana, Mark and possibly even Sal all having the means, opportunity, and motive to kill someone at the party. Great, just great,” grumbles Francesca.
Mercy reviews what they know so far. “Mark has no love lost for Blaine, and Sal didn’t like Blaine either. Each of them thought that Blaine was after his fiancée.”
Francesca says, “Wesley told Mark that Susana spent the afternoon of the party helping Sal put out condiments, and that there was a lot of hugging going on.”
Mercy’s ears prick up. “Condiments like salt and sugar? Like what was used in the margaritas and Lusty Wenches, plus the bowls and shakers that were on the tables?”
Joseph looks at the saltshaker in his hand and pauses. “Odorless, tasteless warfarin would mix into sugar or salt without being noticed. Maybe Susana had another agenda besides helping set up food.”
Mercy is not convinced. “Who would Susana be trying to kill? Doctoring the condiments on Dana’s table seems like a scattershot approach to murder.”
Francesca explains, “There was no risk. Mark and Blaine don’t use sugar and Dana always does. Anyone spending time at Dana’s house would know that. And Susana looks like she’s never tasted sugar, so no one would find it unusual if she never used the sugar bowl.”
Joseph says, “That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it? Who goes to someone’s house and notices whether their host uses sugar?”
Mercy and Francesca both raise their hands to about half height.
Joseph says, “Really? Why?”
The Case of the Stained Stilettos Page 24
