by Amelia Shea
Kase nodded. “Yeah. I’ll reach out to the charters, set it up, and let ya know when, probably day after tomorrow.” Kase lifted his chin. “He was a Ghosttown Rider, Cade.”
“I know.”
“But more than that, he was our Pop. Not forgetting that either.”
The corner of Caden’s mouth curled. “I know, Kase.” He cleared his throat, glancing down at his hand. He jutted the envelope in Kase’s direction. “This is for you.”
Kase glared at the crumpled white paper. He reached out, flipped it over, and read the inscription. Kasen. It was written in his dad’s handwriting. He jerked his gaze to Caden, who raised his brows and shrugged.
“I don’t know, man. Riss was looking through his nightstand and found them.”
Kase glanced down again. He couldn’t remember a time his father ever wrote him a note.
“Leave one for all of us?” Her jerked his head toward the house.
“Yeah. Even Cora.”
Old fucker took her advice. He’d overheard their conversation where Phoebe suggested he write them letters. Kase couldn’t help but smile. Jack Reilly never took advice from anyone. Except maybe Phoebe.
“You read yours?”
Caden slowly shook his head. “Not yet.”
Kase drew in a breath and tucked the envelope into the inside pocket of his cut. He rolled back the bike and then started up the engine. A shake of his head to his brother and he was heading down the steep driveway. He had intended on driving straight to the clubhouse, but his bike had other ideas.
He took the scenic route on the outskirts of Ghosttown leading him down to the river. It was Pop’s run. He loved the ride, said it made him feel free riding through the trees and down the winding road to the river. It was a better view in the fall with the changing leaves, but it would do. He parked in the lot and made his way down the grassy hill.
He understood why his dad and Cade loved it so much. The quiet was tranquil, and even if it wasn’t Kase’s scene, he could understand it. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the envelope.
Kasen.
He snorted and slipped his finger inside, pulling out the white, lined sheet of paper.
His chest burned, and he forced the air into his lungs.
“Fuck.”
Chapter Twenty-One
The past few days had been heartbreaking and rough to say the least. She had replayed everything Nadia had said to her, analyzing it word for word. It had only been a day since her return. It felt like a year.
She had tried to build enough courage to reach out to him, but like a coward, backed out each time. There was a part of her that had hoped he would reach out. He’d stopped as of two days ago.
When she finally made the decision to walk over to the clubhouse and talk to him, she changed her mind. The lot was jam packed with cars lined up on the driveway and the road. They must have been having a party, she assumed. It was not the time for a heart to heart with Kase.
She barely heard the soft knock at her door. She walked through the living room and wiped off her hands. She opened the door to find Bailey standing in a pretty, pink, flowing dress.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
She had a tight smile, and after a closer inspection, she realized her eyes were red rimmed and glassy. She reached out and grasped Bailey’s hand. “What’s wrong?” She immediately glanced down at her swollen belly. “Are you okay?”
A tear slid down her cheek, and Phoebe reached out, pulling her into her chest and ushering her inside the house. Bailey sobbed against her, and she wrapped her arms over her shoulders, slamming the door closed.
“Bailey, talk to me.” Phoebe led her to the couch, reaching out and grabbing her unfolded laundry and tossing it on the floor. She’d worry about it later. Right now, nothing was more important than her best friend crying. She urged her to sit and followed her down to the couch, rubbing her back.
“I didn’t know you were home until I saw your lights on.” Bailey sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I was at the clubhouse.”
Phoebe searched her face. “Did something happen? Where’s Saint?”
“He’s next door.” She nodded.
Bailey turned, gazing up at Phoebe with tears streaming down her face. She smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Phoebe.” Bailey gripped her hand tightly. “Jack died last night.”
Phoebe sucked in a breath, though it didn’t quite reach her lungs. It was caught in her throat. Her body froze, and all she could do was stare back at her friend. She just saw Jack last week at Caden’s house. They had dinner together. He’s coming over this weekend. She tilted her head and leaned closer. She shook her head and willed back her tears.
“I just saw Jack,” she whispered as her vision blurred. He’s coming over, we’re doing a fire. She inhaled a deep breath through her nose. Her chest seized into a tight, gripping ache. It was a physical pain. Her heart was breaking.
Bailey clasped her hand over their intertwined embrace. Phoebe felt the heat brim at her eyes. She clamped her lips and stared down at the floor. Then her tears escaped, and she made no move to stop them. She couldn’t be sure how long they sat in silence. Phoebe drew in a deep breath and glanced over at Bailey, who was watching her.
“What happened?”
Bailey sniffled. “He went down for a nap.” She shrugged and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “He never woke up.”
Phoebe tightly grasped Bailey’s hand and cupped her mouth. For all the loss she was feeling, it paled in comparison to what Kase was going through. It only added to her guilt of overreacting with him.
“How are they?”
“Riss is taking it the hardest. Ya know they were super close.” She swallowed. “Cade seemed,” she paused, “okay, said Trevor was really torn up. They knew he was getting worse, but you never can fully prepare yourself for losing someone.”
“Yeah,” she whispered, her heart breaking for them all. Selfishly, it was breaking for herself. She cleared her throat. “And Kase?”
Bailey turned. “Quiet. Just very quiet.”
Her heart ripped deeper for him. He would bottle it up and take it all on. He’d allow it to eat away at him before he showed anyone anything.
Phoebe wiped her cheeks. “Is there anything I can do?”
Bailey smiled with a shrug. “You can come over to the club if ya want?”
Would Kase even want her there? More than anything, she wanted to go to him. This wasn’t about her, though. It was about Kase and what he needed. Phoebe twisted her lips. “I don’t think I should.”
“You’re welcome if you change your mind, okay? Saint told me to tell you that. You are welcome there.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
Bailey drew in a breath and reached into her bag, pulling out an envelope. “So, um, Jack left them all notes in his nightstand.”
She gasped, and her mouth fell open. It was a cross between shock and elation. Phoebe felt a burst in her chest, and she teared up once again. Son of a bitch did it. She couldn’t contain her smile. After the night by the fire, they never spoke of it again. She had hoped he would but figured he’d forget. Jack took her advice.
“Caden wasn’t sure when he wrote them. But um, he gave me this when Saint and I went over this morning.”
It was the only saving grace to his death. She cupped her mouth and tried her best to hold back her tears. Well done, Jack. He’d left them all something behind. A piece of him. Her eyes welled. This would serve as comfort for them. Maybe not right away, but down the road when they had rough days, Jack left them something of him. Just a little piece that would see them through the hardest of times. She glanced up through her tears with a small smile. You did good, Jack. She drew in a deep breath, which filled her lungs. She was almost giddy with pride.
She reached out and took Bailey’s hand. “Bailey, he left you a part of him.”
Although she didn’t know the extent of Bailey’s and Jack’s relationship, it s
eemed fitting he would leave her a note. She may not be family by blood, but Jack obviously thought she was special enough to him to leave a part of him with her.
Bailey widened her eyes and stared back at Phoebe in confusion.
“The note.” She gestured her chin to her hand, and smiled. “Jack left a piece of him with you. You’ll always have something from him. It means you must have really meant something to Jack.”
Bailey lips spread into a sweet smile with a slow nod. “It’s for you, Phoebe.”
What? No. She inched back and glanced down at Bailey’s hands holding the white envelope. “What?”
Bailey nodded. “Caden asked me to give it to you. He had one for Riss, the baby, Trev, Cade, and Kase.” Bailey leaned closer, smiling. “And you.”
“But I-I, no. Are you sure?”
Bailey reached over, handing her the note. “Yes, I’m sure. Has your name on it.”
It did. In a shaky scratch was her name. Phoebe. She slowly took the note as her heartbeat pounded.
“Are you okay?”
She stared down at the envelope. “I don’t get it, why me? I hardly knew him.”
“He knew you, Feebs, enough to consider you one of his people. Don’t question it. Jack may have been losing it at the end, but he knew people, good people. He knew you. And it’s like ya said, you must have really meant something to him, Phoebe.”
Jack left me a note.
Bailey stayed a bit longer, and they shared coffee. The conversation lulled, so they sat in silence until Saint called. She offered to stay, but Phoebe was good with being alone, and Bailey was needed back at the house. She walked her to the door, giving her a long hug before stepping away.
Bailey turned halfway in the door and glanced over her shoulder.
“For Kase, quiet isn’t good.” She glanced at the floor and walked out the door.
Phoebe knew exactly what she was saying. However, she wasn’t sure if seeing her was what he wanted right now. She decided to think on it. More than anything, she wanted to go to him. But it wasn’t about her. It was about Kase.
She sat on the couch staring at the envelope. It took her a while to actually open it.
To Phoebe,
A smart, sexy woman with a great ass once said, ya got something to say, ya write it down. Well, here I am, darlin’, writing shit down. Gonna make it short and it sure as hell ain’t gonna be fucking poetic but here goes. I see something in you. My boy sees it. Now, he’s an unworthy bastard who’s gonna piss you off. Ya got my okay to shoot his ass if ya need to. Ya got my blessing to love him too. Kase ain’t used to good women, his mom set the bar so fucking low, my boys never knew what they should be looking for. Hold that against the evil bitch and maybe me. Love him, darlin’.
Now you. I woulda taken ya on my bike, rode ya down to the river. Woulda had burgers and double the fries with your sweet ass every fucking chance I got. Woulda toasted sexy women and whiskey with ya. Woulda drove down Main Street on them ATV’s. No fucking helmets! Woulda shared my life with you, the good raunchy shit ’cause there ain’t many women wanna hear it but you ain’t no regular woman. And I woulda listened to you, woulda wanted to hear about your life, your family. Woulda liked that a lot.
Forty years ago, I woulda made you mine.
Raise a glass to me darlin’ and I’ll raise mine to you.
Jack
She smiled through her tears. How could she not? Even through the tears dripping onto the paper, she smiled. Jack had left her a piece of him. She settled into the couch cushion, eyeing the shaky scribbling. It took time and thought for Jack to put his words on paper. And he chose me. She drew in a deep breath and sunk her head against the couch.
To bikers and whiskey, Jack.
****
Pop was gone.
He’d spent the whole afternoon making the calls. Every member, some from hundreds of miles away, would descend on Ghosttown tomorrow. He’d worked out the details with the brothers earlier in the day. Every member was onboard with giving Jack the sendoff he deserved. It was after eleven before he made his way back to his room. Alone. A few of the women offered to give him some company. He wasn’t interested in anyone. At least no one in the club.
He’d poured himself a drink and settled on his bed. There wasn’t any background noise, though the club was already filled with brothers. It was a quiet somber mood. After the ceremony, the club partying would pick up, but until then, they were mourning.
He sipped his drink and set it down on the table beside his bed. He slipped the paper between his fingers and opened it up. It was self-torture, but he did it again. This would mark the fifth time he’d read Jack’s note.
To Kasen,
This was your woman’s idea. I tend to listen to the sexy ones. Not ’cause they got something to say but ’cause a man’s always got an agenda. But she was onto something. What the fuck would I have wanted us to do? Hell, boy, there ain’t much we haven’t done. But talking of the future, the one I ain’t gonna be around to see. I got a few.
I woulda taken that ride up the coast, you by my side. Fuck the helmet laws, we woulda broken them in seven states. Woulda went back to that place we camped out at when you and Cade was little, the place in the mountains. Woulda taken you boys with me. Woulda liked to head down to the river, do some fishing with ya. You used to like that when you were a kid. Had your first sip of whiskey down by that river. Woulda liked to have gone back with ya. Woulda liked to see your sorry ass trick Phoebe into being your old lady. Woulda liked it even more to hold your kid in my arms. Think you woulda made a good dad, Kasen. Better than I ever was. Woulda liked to be face to face, when I finally told ya this…
No other man alive I would have handed my gavel to but you. You did right by the club, by all of us. Proud of you. And I know I ain’t never told ya and I regret that, Kasen. You are a good man, a faithful and loyal brother, always have been. I made you hard, thought I was building a man. Forgot to show you the heart, most valuable piece of a true man. You take the long ride for me, you toast my name with a lowball of whiskey and you remember, you made your old man damn proud.
Ride free and wild, son.
Pop
Jack may never had said the words to Kase, but he’d left him with a reminder.
The knock at the door was light and hesitant. He ignored it. Anyone stupid enough to come to his door was leaving without a limb. He grabbed his glass, throwing back the whiskey and letting the slow burn taper down his throat.
The knock sounded again, timid and quiet.
“You knock again, and I’ll put my boot through your fucking ass!” he shouted. He needed the quiet and solitude, not some fucking asshole checking on him. When the door creaked, he tightened his grip on his glass.
“Kase,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes. It was strange. She was the last person he wanted to see him this way, and the only person he wanted to set his eyes on. He remained silent while she padded quietly through his room.
She stopped a few feet away, and his gaze flickered to her sandals and her pink toenail polish. It was soft and pale, much like the woman he refused to look at.
“You want me to go?”
Kase flattened his lips and lifted his stare.
She clasped her hands in front of her. He couldn’t recall ever seeing her as unsure of herself as she was standing in front of him. Her eyes were glassy and puffy as though she’d been crying. She fidgeted and glanced back at the door.
“Saint said it was all right for me to come back here.” She bowed her head, staring at the floor. Her gaze lifted. “I just wanted to come by, make sure you’re okay?”
He curved his brow, remaining silent.
“I’m so sorry about Jack.” Her voice shook, and he watched her pretty blue eyes tear up. She inhaled, and her hands shook slightly. “Bailey told me.” She stepped closer. “You all right?”
He lifted his chin. “He left you a letter.” Caden had mentioned he gave it to Bailey to pas
s along. It didn’t surprise him his Pop had left her a letter. She meant something to Jack. And to Kase.
She blinked, and he watched as her eyes welled up. She nodded with a slight shrug.
She forced a smile. “I’ll leave you alone. But if you need something, anything, just call me, okay?”
She was leaving, and his chest seized. Asking her to stay wouldn’t work. He couldn’t form the words. It wasn’t who he was. However, the last thing he wanted was to watch her walk out the door.
He snorted, lifting the glass to his mouth, taking a slow sip. “Done fucking hating me?”
She blushed, and he caught the raw pain filter over her features.
“I never hated you, Kase.” She tucked her hands in her pockets. “My pride took a hit.” She shrugged. “And right now, it seems small and petty compared to how you must feel.”
“Wasn’t a club deal.” He watched, and she glanced up through her lashes. It wasn’t the best time, if there even was one. If he’d learned anything with Jack’s death, it was you never know when you might be looking at someone for the last time.
He clasped his hands. “Set it up, just me and Meg knew. Ain’t club money, it was mine.”
Phoebe’s eyes widened, and her bottom lip fell open.
“Did it so you could stay there. Was gonna offer for you to live there, no fucking strings attached.” He arched his brow. “But I know you, would have made sure you paid me back.”
She licked her lip and bowed her head.
“You love that fucking hole of a house, it’s yours.” He growled. “I listened, Phoebe. I heard ya. It was yours.” Her lips pursed. It seemed the truth was hard to take on, and maybe she was feeling regret. The silence lingered in the room. Too many emotions with Jack’s death, the shit between them, and the distance.
“Kase.” She slowly inched forward, and then stopped. It was rare for Phoebe to show signs of uncertainty. She’d always been so sure of herself in every encounter. Standing in the middle of his room, unsure whether he wanted her there, yet she fucking showed up. Even knowing what a bastard he could be at a time like this. Phoebe showed up.
