He leaned against a tree beside my head, close enough for me to see the smirk. “Shall we head to the tavern, then?”
“I don’t need any help.” I struggled to stand, holding up a hand to stop him in case he offered, but when I glanced over, he seemed inclined to watch from his post at the tree.
He was kinda an ass, I decided, using my irritation to propel me forward.
We walked the rest of the way to town in silence, not even sharing a glance.
I kept my eyes to the ground, hoping no one would notice me.
Beru moved closer when we passed villagers.
If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought he was trying to protect me. “We’re here.” I nodded toward a building.
He opened the door, motioning me ahead of him.
I took the stairs to the left of the bar and went to Sade’s room. I knocked on the door.
It swung open. “It's too early for company.” She noticed Beru and jutted her chin in greeting.
He gave me a strange glance, then turned and headed back down stairs as she opened her door wider for me to enter.
“Nice place.” My eyes roamed the room, impressed by the feather bed and plush towels beside the ceramic wash basin.
“I'd rather be back in my cave.” She went to the small table and poured us two glasses of water, offering me one.
I held my hand out, drinking it, then placing the empty glass on the table. “I'd like to leave. Today.” I tried not to fidget.
Sade would see it as a sign of weakness.
I didn’t want her to ask why, which meant short replies and no explanations.
“That soon?” Sade walked over to the window. “I'd go for that. I've been here long enough. I didn’t think you’d be coming with me, though.”
“I want to explore somewhere new.” I tried to add excitement to my voice instead of desperation, but when she turned with one eyebrow raised, I knew I hadn’t succeeded.
“Somewhere nobody knows your name?”
“Something like that.” I’d been caught.
“He's coming?”
“Yes. He’s got nowhere else to go.”
She let out a sigh, grabbing her pack. As I waited, she placed all her items inside and took a last look around before smiling. “Shall we invite the boys?”
“Yes.” I needed someone like Astor along.
He was always good-humored and quick to make light of situations. With my recent circumstances, I needed that more than anything else.
“I’d go wake him if I were you. You know that boy loves to sleep.”
I also enjoyed sleeping, as she very well knew. Not like I’d had a chance lately. But I took her advice and went across the hall to knock on his door. There was no response, so I let myself in. “Hello?”
To my surprise, he wasn’t in the room.
His belongings were still there, so I knew he hadn’t left.
I made my way back downstairs, wondering if he’d gone to get food, when I heard laughter floating out of the dining hall.
A smile curved my lips when I saw the three men seated together. Nearly empty plates had been pushed away from Iri and Astor. Beru had pulled a chair up in the aisle, leaning on the backrest with his arms while his legs straddled it on either side. Why did guys sit like that? I couldn’t recall ever seeing a woman do that.
“Well, now I know where the troublemakers all are.”
“And all at your beck and call, milady.” Astor did a mock half-bow from his seated position. “So, I hear we’re leaving?”
I glanced at Beru. What else had he told them? Shoving my annoyance down, I nodded. “You think you’re up for it?”
“I’m up for anything!”
“What about you, Iri?”
“Where he goes, I must go,” he grumbled. He appeared resigned, if not thrilled.
“Good. I’ll meet you in the alley behind the tavern in an hour. I need to pick up provisions.”
Before they could say anything else, I walked away. I knew they’d have questions and eventually, I’d have to come clean. For now though, the less said, the better. My only regret was having Beru know my secret when I didn’t know if I could trust him.
In order for me to tell them about my family throwing me out, I needed to figure out how to deal with my emotions, or I’d be a soggy, sorry mess. All I’d ever wanted was to help people.
But how could I help when no one wanted me around?
Chapter 6
“That'll be five pounds of gold.” The young boy held out his greedy hand, his eyes shining.
“We agreed on three pounds before.” My hands moved to my hips as I gave him my best glare.
“It's not easy to get this many provisions so quickly. Especially when people suspect they’re for you,” he countered, unbothered by my indignation.
I dug deep into my pockets to retrieve the additional two pounds of gold, dropping them like they were hot onto the palm of his hand. “Now scram, you little maggot.”
The boy skipped off without looking back.
I double-checked the list I’d given him. He’d gotten me a carriage with at least a month's supply of food as well as warm clothing, at least. I double-checked the other items, making sure he hadn’t cheated me out of more than the extra two pounds.
“Traveling in style I see.” Astor grinned as he and the others approached me. “Nice!”
“We won't be walking.” I smiled for the first time, buoyed by the thought of a new adventure.
Sade jumped on the back of the carriage. “Where to now?”
I threw my pack in the back and considered the question. I had to leave, but had no idea where to go. The first decision was whether we should help close the rip in the prison. It seemed the obvious choice for a quest, and it might even help clear my name. If I could do that, perhaps I could come back and live with my family in peace. If they’d have me.
I jumped up on the back of the carriage next to Sade, pushing the sadness down. “I'm not sure.”
“The Western March? Perhaps you and Runa could talk more. Who knows, maybe she’ll mentor you.” Astor looked at me eagerly.
I winced, pretty sure Runa wouldn’t be interested in being my mentor. I was certain she hadn’t told him the real reason she wanted to meet me.
After our brief meeting, as much as I wanted her to help me be a better dreamwalker, a larger part of me feared her. She was a very different person than Svan had been, and gave off the impression The Western March wasn’t large enough for the both of us.
“Perhaps somewhere … different?” Beru locked eyes with me.
My stomach fluttered at the notion he knew what I was thinking and I looked down quickly, hiding the growing warmth in my cheeks. I waited to see if he’d say more, but Sade spoke first.
“That sounds ominous,” Sade smirked, swinging her legs back and forth on the top of the carriage as she looked at him.
“The Western March makes sense. We're all familiar with it and I could take up my mentorship again as well,” Astor insisted.
“If I could go to the Western March, I would.” This was it. If I wanted them to come with me on this adventure, I’d have to tell them the truth. “The real reason we can’t go to the Western March is because I’ve already had a dream meeting with Runa.”
Astor's jaw dropped while Iri looked confused, but Beru remained quiet, watching me with his expressionless eyes.
My skin prickled at the attention and I turned gratefully when Sade broke the silence.
“I take it it didn't go well?”
“Not really, no. Her meeting had a definite agenda.” All eyes focused on me, and I squirmed.
“I thought she wanted to mentor you, I swear.” Astor looked devastated, as if his favorite dragon statue had disappeared.
I knew she hadn’t shared her reasons with him, but I was nervous at the thought of breaking the real news to them, given its delicate nature. I didn't want them to regret their part in freeing Beru. “I know.
”
“So, what did she want?” She cut to the chase, looking impatient.
I glanced back and forth, unsure how well they’d take it when I told them. My stomach lurched and perspiration broke out over my entire body. I delayed my answer by taking my cloak off and folding it over my arm, smoothing out the wrinkles instead of looking at anyone directly.
“Does this have anything to do with the prison?” Iri spoke quietly, but with a calm certainty.
“Yes,” I blurted, then waited for the next question.
But no one spoke. The silence grew to deafening levels as they blinked at each other and me.
I knew exactly how they felt. I’d give anything to go back to a time before I’d become aware of the rip in the prison.
“Spill it. I'm thinking the worst here.” She shifted back and forth on her seat.
“There's no easy way to say it. I think I’ve suspected something all along, but I managed to repress my fears until she confronted me. She’s a little frightening.” I walked away from the carriage a few paces, giving myself a few moments to search for the right words.
“It's something bad, isn’t it?” Astor scrunched his nose when I turned back.
“There is a tear in the prison where Aria and I left. It didn't close,” Beru answered flatly.
After everything, Beru gave them the news, not me.
My mouth dropped at the way he’d taken over. How in Ash’gar had he done it to me again? I wasn’t sure how to feel. On the one hand, it was irritating. I owed them the truth, I was the leader, but at least now it was out, which was a relief.
I watched their faces as they took it in.
Iri remained stone-faced, not unlike his usual appearance. Astor's face had paled, but Sade’s eyes bored straight into me as if she was trying to read my mind.
I ducked away from her gaze, answering apologetically. “It's true. Runa asked me to fix the rip. No one has escaped or even knows it exists yet. But they could be looking for an exit if they know Beru got out.”
Sade shook her head. “How is that even possible? Didn't you release him by dreamwalking?”
“I’m not entirely certain. We came through this tunnel. It was unlike any other dreamwalk I’ve had.” I wished there were more answers for them, for me. It was just another example of me diving into something without having any idea what I was doing. I wish I could stop doing that.
“We can't let anyone escape. We aren't ready to fight them.” Iri looked off into the distance, his voice low but steady.
“I know. I'm not sure how to close the rip though. Trust me, it's been on my mind ever since I spoke with Runa. She sort of gave me the impression I was a stupid child. I really don’t want to ask for her help after that. We can figure this out ourselves. We don't need her.”
“But she’s a well-respected dreamwalker. Why wouldn’t we ask for her help? She must have offered it if she wanted to meet with you,” Astor reasoned.
I pressed my lips into a firm line as I looked at him. “I'm not opposed to working with her, I’m saying she doesn’t like me and she won’t help us. She’s too busy working her own agenda.”
Astor looked as if he would speak again, so I held up my hand. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see how she treated me. Runa doesn’t expect me to fix this. In fact, I think she only met with me to tell me off and see if I had any information she could use.”
“So, we’ll head somewhere else. But where?” Sade jumped in, changing the subject before it became any more heated than it already was.
“Any other suggestions?” I looked at them in turn.
When no one offered a location, I jumped into the back of the carriage and began arranging our supplies, placing furs over the rice and corn so they wouldn't get damp and tying everything down to the sides so nothing would move or fall out the back. I kept myself busy for as long as I could, mostly to avoid answering any questions. I didn’t want to travel alone. I hoped after some time to think they’d be willing to help me find a way to fix the rip. But at the same time, I hated the idea they’d think less of me because of what I had done. What I’d asked them to help me do.
I knew I would have to go back eventually, one way or another. The only other option I had was Runa, and I highly doubted she would be willing to help me after the way she’d acted in our dream meeting.
I tightened the straps on the end of the carriage. I’d delayed as long as I could. Hopping down from the back, I climbed into the front next to Sade, and waited. I didn't want to push them for an answer, but we needed to get going before it was too dark. I'd settle for someone just pointing in a direction.
“I think I have an idea where we can start. Somebody who can maybe help us.” Beru finally spoke up.
“Can we trust him?” Sade raised an eyebrow, ignoring him as if he wasn’t standing right beside her.
“I do.” But I wasn’t certain it was true. I wanted to, but was it my heart or head answering? If I was wrong, we’d all pay the price.
“Who is this person you speak of?” Iri turned to him.
Iri seemed to lack the reservations Sade had when it came to Beru.
I didn’t know if it was a brothers-in-arms thing, or Iri’s respect for a legendary warrior, but he seemed to trust him more than I did.
“She's the Light Woman. I don't know if she's still around, but when I was free to roam this world, she was the one charged with the keys to the prison.”
“Can she be trusted?”
“I don't know. I can't guarantee she’ll even help us. But it's somewhere to start.”
“Does anyone have any other suggestions?” I looked at the others, but no one else volunteered an idea. It seemed this woman was our only other lead to repairing the prison. I knew they were here to follow me into battle, but this time, I wanted it to be their choice. Last time I’d been selfish and put their lives at risk to save Gavin. At the time I hadn’t realized it, but now guilt over my previous actions made me worry I was influencing them without them truly understanding what we were planning.
“So, who's up for coming along? I want you to really think hard about your choice. This journey will be nothing like when we worked to free Beru. We’ll be up against creatures we’ve never heard of, and may have to go places none of us have been. I can't guarantee anybody’s safety, and this could be a one-way mission for some, if not all of us. I want you to do what’s best for you. I won't think differently of you if you choose not to follow me.”
As I watched them, my heart was in my throat. I’d told them my deepest fears, now it was up to them. I prayed Yina’ane’ut, the protector god, was watching over me now.
Sade placed her hand on my shoulder. “I'm going.”
Even as my fear of being alone subsided, Beru’s deep voice added to my relief.
“I'm with you as well. The rip is my responsibility, as much as it is yours.”
“You'll need a wizard.” Astor’s voice was high and eager in comparison, and I hoped he understood the risk.
Looking at his innocent face, I couldn’t help but fear he didn’t. Still, it was gratifying.
“I go where he goes. It is an honor to fight alongside each and every one of you.” Iri’s firm voice finished off the group vote.
They had all decided to come.
An overwhelming feeling of happiness overcame me. I’d had very few friends in my life, and during the hardest events I’d ever faced these four had arrived. I wouldn’t have known what I would do if they’d abandoned me after my town and family had cast me out, too. Now I didn’t need to wonder.
We were all in this together.
Clearing my throat of the lump which had gathered there, I turned to Beru. “How do we find this Light Woman?”
He motioned for Iri and Astor to move closer to the carriage, scanning the area for any eavesdroppers. When he didn’t see anyone, he leaned in. “I've never seen her, only heard of her. She's not someone to be taken lightly.”
“We're on our own to fin
d her, then. What if I speak with an elder? Perhaps one of them has heard of her.” Sade leaned into the rough circle, raising an eyebrow as she tilted her head.
I was running out of people to ask, especially now. Most people seemed to barely look at me. Runa may know something, and I debated arranging a dream meeting to ask her despite my reservations.
“I have a few secure contacts I can get in touch with. But that will take a few days at least. I’ll leave a note now.” Iri offered.
When I nodded, he turned and headed back to the tavern.
“I've got an old acquaintance in the village I can ask. While Iri’s writing his contacts, I’ll see if I can track mine down. I won’t be long.” Sade jumped down from the carriage and took off down the road, leaving me with Astor and Beru to wait for them to return.
It was clear whether I was comfortable with the situation or not, I’d be relying on Beru much more in the future. He’d proven himself loyal so far, but I couldn’t read him.
Regardless of his intentions, I knew he wouldn’t follow me forever. The last few days had demonstrated how easily he assumed command. He wasn’t a follower and I knew he’d want to be a free agent, sooner rather than later.
I could only hope that time came after we’d repaired the prison, because I didn’t know if I could do it without him.
Chapter 7
“Do you trust me?”
We were walking through the woods when Beru surprised me.
“I'm in the woods, alone with you, on my way to see a witch because you recommended it. What do you think?” I stayed a pace ahead, not in the mood to go down that particular road. I wasn’t sure if he could see my facial expression, but I was certain it would be irritated if he could.
“That doesn't really answer my question.”
“Let's just do this.”
I heard him sigh before he answered. “She’s somewhere between four large trees. The doorway should be in a tree trunk.”
The thought had already occurred to me he might have suggested seeing the Light Woman in order to free everyone in the prison. His sudden question had thrown me back to wondering if he would betray me.
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