He folded her in his arms. “I can't fix this. You can't fix it. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make amends. It's a good thing they gave me forever to do it.”
She needed to know what held him back, and quickly. She put a hand on his temple. “This is going to hurt. I'm sorry.”
She slipped into his mind, needing to see what had him so troubled. Blood ran from his nose as she scanned the surface thoughts that plagued him. The whole scene on site two was on the top of his thoughts. She felt his despair and how much it hurt him to have to burn witches. The burning witches and their screams made her stomach tighten. It was clear Matvei had used threats against her to motivate him to kill. Her heart ached to see Brac taken to his knees with grief. She also saw Jamie, and the utter despair he felt at not being with her. It was a pain she knew well. Not wanting to see more, she pulled out. His pain hurt her on a deep level.
He reached up to his head. “Mom, that was awful. What did you do?”
She wiped the blood from his nose. “I had to see. I saw that Matvei gave you no choice. I felt your pain. I will break him. Trust I will. You come with me, now. I want you safe with Mikhail in case Timofei can't head off trouble tonight.”
His eyes narrowed and he rubbed his temples. “You went in my thoughts? Like they do?”
“Yes, and you are not to blame. We have all had to do things we wouldn't have done. It is them. They are to blame.”
“Wait, Mikhail can’t help us. Think about it. No matter what happens, Matvei will protect us. He wants this more than Timofei. I know he’s not a good creature but he loves us, for real, not like his dad.” He frowned. “Bad creatures can love. I have to believe that.”
She took his hand and started toward the fortress. “Mikhail is more human and less monster than I am. He is the only vampire you can trust. You can trust him. If something happens to me, if I have to go, you stay with him. If he has to go, you get to council and Percy.”
He followed beside her. “But Mikhail? Even as far as monsters go, he's a nothing. He can't help us.”
She hated hearing the elitist attitude of Matvei still remained. “Stop that. I will explain it all to you when I have time. He can, he will, and he has helped us already.”
Mikhail came walking quickly toward them and wrapped an arm around her. “I've been ordered to stay with you both. Timofei is…” he started to say and looked to Brac.
“I know.” Gwen kept walking. “Just take Brac, keep him inside.”
He looked at her puzzled.
She shook her head.
Once they were in the fortress, Brac started pacing with restless energy.
Mikhail and Gwen talked over everything that happened. She told him everything she saw. He told her about the sibling traffic and rumors he heard.
She put a hand on his face. “I saw what they did. Matvei and Timofei. It was worse because of me. I'm sorry.”
“No, I have been an ambassador to many cruel rulers. That was mild.” He put his hand over hers. “It's nothing, boss lady.”
She pulled her hand away and took a step back from him. “If Matvei gets here first, before Timofei, I need to be alone with him. You make sure Brac stays safe.” Gwen gave Mikhail a pleading look.
He frowned at her while he thought it over. “Alone with Matvei? I don't know which of them worries me most, but your bravery is frightening, borderline foolhardy.”
“He's right.” Brac stopped pacing. “I have no idea what you two have been doing, but Matvei is not to be toyed with. His temper is way worse than dad.”
She flicked her eyes between them. “When are those meetings he demanded?”
“I won't even ask how you know that. I have them both arranged already.” Mikhail shook his head. “They are likely what has him occupied. Not that they will hold him up long.”
“Where?” She quickly added. “Is it anywhere I have been?”
“No, why?”
“Never mind, I will find out from him what happened.” Gwen stopped her pacing and stepped to Brac. She wrapped her arms around him. “I love you. No matter what has happened or will happen. You are no monster.”
Mikhail looked away and walked toward the door to give them a private moment together.
“It sounds like you are playing dangerous games. Be careful.” Brac talked into her hair and rested his chin on the top of her head. “Do you think the witches that were taken from site two will be okay?”
“I do. I think they are with Kyna and she will take care of them. Lucian will help.”
“Lucian? I get the feeling there is a lot you have been keeping from me too.”
She sighed, the too was not lost on her. She knew he had other secrets too. “We've both done things for them that we are ashamed of. When we have a minute, I promise to tell you about Lucian.”
Mikhail walked back in. “He's coming. Gwen, just stay here with us.”
She stepped out of Brac's arms and stood on her tip toes, kissing him on the forehead.
Matvei stormed in. “Isn't this sweet. Where is Timofei?”
“He went to meet with Konstantin. He asked me to stay with them.” Mikhail stepped between him and them.
Matvei laughed. “Because you are such a soldier? Where is Sergei?”
“Timofei was in a hurry. There have been issues with your family, Sir.” Mikhail braced himself for a fight.
“I'm aware. Stay with Brac.” He tapped his boot heel on the floor. “Gwen.” He held out a hand and raised one eyebrow higher than the other.
“Mom?” Brac said in a worried tone.
“Stay with Mikhail.” Gwen didn't look at Brac or Mikhail. She took Matvei's hand and walked outside with him.
In a tone as cold as his aura, he said, “We need to chat.”
His words were punctuated with a shove on her shoulder. Gwen stumbled forward a few steps. “What is it now, Matvei?”
“Now you are going to tell me why you are killing vampires.” He stepped toward her and shoved her again.
“I could ask you the same thing.” She spun to look at the hate in his eyes. “Did you kill the last two at your meetings tonight? Are you down to the three you want?”
He snarled. “Clever, clever. Mixing my anger with my adoration might prove fatal for you, kitten.” He grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her off the ground. “How did you do it? What was the goal?”
“You are not so hard to outwit.” She spat the words at him, each dripping in more hate than the last. Each time he put a hand on her, any plans to woo him were extinguished. She could not suffer his touch anymore.
He released her and shoved her with such force she landed hard on the ground. “Who helped you lure them. Mikhail? Is it Mikhail that will need to be punished? Did you want to watch that?”
“Matvei, no. If you touch Mikhail, I will not help you with anything.” She hated the way her voice cracked as fear came to the surface.
His smile reflected that he saw another weak spot. “Tell me about Pavel. How about Faina?”
She got to her feet. “I wouldn't even know who they are.”
“Wouldn't you?” He smacked her, sending her to the ground again. “You were right; I am starting to enjoy this a whole lot more. Get up.”
Gwen got to her feet and a look of frustration and defeat washed over her face as she felt a cold spot approaching, as well as the magical aura of Brac leaving the fortress. She didn't have time to wonder why Mikhail had sent Brac away on his own.
“That will be enough,” Mikhail said as he stepped outside.
“Wait your turn. When she's had enough, you will be next.” Matvei didn't even look at him, his eyes stayed on Gwen. “What do you know? It will be my pleasure to beat it out of you if I have to.”
Mikhail started to step between them. Gwen shook her head. “Leave us, Mikhail. That is an order.”
Matvei turned back to Mikhail and tossed him to the side. “You were given an order. Leave.”
“I have this well in hand. Y
ou are excused, Mikhail. Please.” She nodded at Mikhail.
Matvei turned his attention to Mikhail and smacked him again. He stepped on his arm, pinning him down. “You should listen to your queen.”
“Let him go, Matvei. Go get Brac.” She watched as Matvei released him, yanked him up, and shoved him away. He vanished into the night, she hoped, to keep an eye on Brac as she asked him to.
Once they were alone, she stood and eyed Matvei while he circled her.
“Tell me, Gwen. I can do this all night. You, I am thinking not so much.” He snatched her up and drank deep before he threw her down again. “What was the plan, Gwen?” He kicked her, causing her to gasp for air. “Do you realize how much of a stir you have caused?”
“I don't know anything, Matvei. Please, stop.” Gwen braced for another kick.
It never came. Matvei flew across the yard, smashing into the woods to the east. The groan of trees and deep growls filled the air.
“Have you lost your mind, son?” Timofei reached down and pulled Gwen to her feet. He made a fast assessment of her condition. Deciding she was okay, he turned to Brac who stood behind him, looking shaken and pale. “Take your mother away, inside with Mikhail. I need a moment with Matvei.”
Brac stood frozen in horror.
“Now, Brac,” Timofei said in a deep commanding tone.
Gwen took Brac's hand and tugged him. Once he broke his daze, they made their way to the fortress.
Mikhail met them out front and pulled them inside, away from whatever was about to unfold.
Matvei stood and walked toward his father. “She knows something. Her and that drudge.”
Timofei snarled and shoved him back, pummeling his face and chest. “I don't care if she planned it herself. You will never touch my queen again.”
Matvei circled Timofei and swung, connecting and knocking him back. “Are we to fight now?”
Timofei returned the blow with such force Matvei broke through the iron fence, landing near the lake. “You don't want to pick a fight with me, child.”
Matvei stood up and took a breath. He knew what they were fighting over. It was about more than rule. It was about peace. Peace that came in the form of a devious little witch who had pitted them one against the other. A witch that made him far too reckless and his father far too complacent. “This was her intention, that we fight.”
“You give her too much credit. Don't think I am oblivious to the way she cowers around us. You did that. It ends now. You will not lay another hand on her or I will remove it permanently.” He walked around Matvei taking slow, measured steps. “I'll not have you feeding on her anymore either.”
Matvei laughed. “Are you going to take your toy and send me to bed without supper now?”
“Don't press me, son. You have your own, treat them as poorly as you wish, leave mine alone.” Timofei paced and thought. His fingers clicked together. “Go. I want you out of my sight. Go lead the war, while I clean up the mess you made here and deal with Konstantin.”
“Go? I am to lead your wars now? He who is far too reckless for your liking? Who will stay when you head for the frontlines?” Matvei looked at him astonished.
“Sergei. He knows how to treat a queen.” Timofei stopped walking. “Go, before my forgiveness is rescinded.”
“Y ou should have come to me.” Timofei held Gwen and kissed her forehead.
Gwen wasn't sure how to respond. She never imagined he would be so swift with his decision to stand by her. She knew he didn't love her and that made his reaction throw her off.
He watched her closely. She assumed seeing her doubts play out in her features. “You can't think I would condone such behavior.”
Of course you would, she thought. “He's your son. I didn't know what to think.”
“He won't be back on this realm. No one is ever to hurt you. You tell me if anyone even makes you uncomfortable.” He kissed her again. “Do you need to see Percy? You feel a little unwell.”
“No. Unwell is to be expected after such a night. Can you keep Brac away from him? I don't like what he teaches him.” The idea of Matvei alone with Brac after all that happened terrified her. He was clearly not above tossing him around when it served his purposes.
Timofei frowned. “There are witches helping the ogres. I need fire witches who can stop them from defeating my battalions.”
She knew he wasn't going to stop the war effort totally, and that he would never really side with her over Matvei. Not in any meaningful way. “Do you really think Kyna is part of that? She can't call fire. They must have taken her against her will.”
“I don't know what to think now that Matvei tells me a rose of hers has shown up after an attack. I love Kyna as much as I love my own children. I would hate to think she would betray us all. This life, this realm was a gift for you.”
Gwen brushed hair from his face and kissed his jaw. He was lying, she knew that much. She needed to press on now that she managed to put a small wedge between father and son. It had come a little sooner than she expected, but things would still work.
Even if Konstantin took her, and Matvei wouldn't help, it would work. Timofei would gather enough help with his remaining family, especially if she continued to be his prize.
“I have to believe she loves us. Let me train Brac, not Matvei. I can steal fire, he can't. In fact, let me go with you. I can stop any fire witch from hurting you.” Her eyes pleaded with him.
He snorted and shook his head. “You? In battle? No. Should I need to go, you will stay here with Sergei. You like Sergei, you said as much. He has never hurt you, correct?”
“Timofei, he hated being assigned to me. Fight with him. That is what he loves. This realm is secure. I don't need a babysitter; we have a compound full of strong soldiers.”
“It is not war I worry about coming to this realm. I have family that would treat you worse than Matvei.” His face reflected deep concern. “There is good reason I have kept you secreted away.”
“Something has changed?” She wanted to get a feel for what happened with his meetings with Konstantin.
He frowned at her. “I know you are close with Mikhail and thus know about claims and ruler lineage. I also know you are looking for a way out of this, what you consider a nightmare with us.”
She said nothing as she searched his eyes. Some peace remained. Hate clouded the edges, but she couldn't tell if it was directed at her.
“I did everything in my power to change this world into what you wanted. Initially failing to realize that since I myself was the problem, none of that mattered.” He kissed the top of her head. “Being what I am, you know that your happiness, while I did endeavor to achieve it, will never matter more to me than my own desires.”
She still couldn't process what he was trying to say. He wanted her happy, but that was secondary? Secondary to wanting her? Why was he telling her that?
“My desire to own you, and to a lesser degree the desire to make more like you, has proven unwise in its depth. You are something we can never own and it now seems clear we can never duplicate.”
“Timofei, I…” she started to say, but he put a finger to her lips.
“Would you ever give yourself to me without the threat of darkness swinging overhead like a sword?” The tone of his words and look on his face said he already knew the answer.
“I did love you.”
His eyes sparkled for a moment. “In moments of your magical calm, I loved you as much as one such as myself can.”
“We can come back from this.” She sat up. “We have forever. Let the war go. Let the witches go back to earth. Let my children go. You and I can find a place for us to figure this out.” She almost couldn't believe what she heard herself saying. Deep down, she always knew if he offered a real chance for the realms to find peace, she would sacrifice her freedom to him forever. She made that decision long ago.
“There is no place anywhere for us. Us is an illusion that we both entertained for as long as was reaso
nable.”
“What are you saying? You don't want me anymore?”
“I am fairly certain you are aware of what is happening. Your role in it is as unclear as Matvei's. You do both have roles. Neither shocks me. You wisely advised Brac that I am always aware of what is going on around me. However, you did not consider I was also aware of what you were doing. You will stay here with Sergei, because I trust him. You will stay here because I say so.” He paused and ran a finger along her nose. “Now you know where we stand. Should you continue to play games with me, you will wish for Matvei and his gentle hand again.”
Her face flipped from small hope to horror.
“I see you understand me. That pleases me. Threats are ugly business to have between lovers. I had no intention to end this so abruptly. It appears I need to put on my crown and show both my father and son they have misjudged my thoughtfulness for complacency.”
She started to form words in her mind, but confusion swirled. He knew. He knew all along.
“Train the witches. They will be needed should I be away when the cowards make a move. Behave like a queen and I will treat you as such. Challenge me and I will shatter the illusion further into sharp and dangerous pieces.”
She heard herself ask the question that begged to be answered. Her voice sounded small and shaken. “Why did you let it get this far?”
“There are a lot of things my kind are willing to fight over. Humans, realms, rule, but only one thing I know of that would make my son slip up and show his hand.”
“Me?” Her mouth dropped. “You used me to bait Matvei? You left me with him to endure his torment intentionally to see what would happen? Moments ago, you sat here trying to convince me you would have never allowed that behavior, and you knew. Did you think I would never figure it out? I loved you.”
He smiled. “Don't get worked up, my most precious treasure. While I do cherish you and adore you above all others, your love never really played that big of a factor.”
She ignored the tremors that washed over her. “If you can’t have my love, you will settle for my fear?”
“It is all I ever really had.” He kissed her gently on the neck and stood. “Make no mistake, love me or hate me, you will always be mine.”
Alterations Page 22
