by Jean M. Auel
The more she looked, the more she saw, but the objects that seemed to reach for and hold her attention were a beautifully made ivory Mother figure in a niche, and the carvings near his work area.
Ranec watched her, noting where her eyes stayed, and knowing what she was seeing. When her eyes settled on him, he smiled. He sat down at his workbench, the lower leg bone of a mammoth sunk into the floor so that the flat, slightly concave knee joint reached just about chest high when he sat on a mat on the floor. On the curved horizontal work surface, amid a variety of burins, chisellike flint tools which he used for carving, was an unfinished carving of a bird.
“This is the piece I’m working on,” he said, watching her expression as he held it out to her.
She carefully cradled the ivory sculpture in her hands, looked at it, then turned it over and examined it closer. Then looking puzzled, she turned it one way, and then the other again. “Is bird when I look this way,” she said to Ranec, “but now”—she held it up the other way—“is woman!”
“Wonderful! You saw it right away. It’s something I’ve been trying to work out. I wanted to show the transformation of the Mother, Her spiritual form. I want to show Her when She takes on Her bird form to fly from here to the spirit world, but still as the Mother, as woman. To incorporate both forms at once!”
Ranec’s dark eyes flashed, he was so excited he almost couldn’t speak fast enough. Ayla smiled at his enthusiasm. It was a side of him she hadn’t seen before. He usually seemed much more detached, even when he laughed. For a moment, Ranec reminded her of Jondalar when he was developing the idea for the spear-thrower. She frowned at the thought. Those summer days in the valley seemed so long ago. Now Jondalar almost never smiled, or if he did, he was angry the next moment. She had a sudden feeling that Jondalar would not like her to be there, talking to Ranec, hearing his pleasure and excitement, and that made her unhappy, and a little angry.
11
“Ayla, there you are,” Deegie said, passing through the Fox Hearth. “We’re going to start the music. Come along. You, too, Ranec.”
Deegie had collected most of the Lion Camp on her way through. Ayla noticed that she carried the mammoth skull and Tornec the scapula which was painted with red ordered lines and geometric shapes, and that Deegie had used the unfamiliar word again. Ayla and Ranec followed them outside.
Wispy clouds raced across a darkening sky to the north, and the wind picked up, parting the fur on hoods and parkas, but none of the people gathering in a circle seemed to notice. The outdoor fireplace, which had been constructed with mounds of soil and a few rocks to take advantage of the prevailing north wind, burned hotter as more bone and some wood was added, but the fire was an invisible presence overpowered by the coruscating glow descending in the west.
Some large bones that seemed to have been randomly left lying around took on a planned purpose as Deegie and Tornec joined Mamut and seated themselves on them. Deegie placed the marked skull down so that it was held off the ground, supported front and back by other large bones. Tornec held the painted scapula in an upright position, and tapped it in various places with the hammer-shaped implement made of antler, adjusting the position slightly.
Ayla was astounded at the sounds they produced, different from the sounds she had heard inside. There was a sense of drum rhythms, but this sound had distinct tones, like nothing she had heard before, yet it had a hauntingly familiar quality. In variability, the tones reminded her of voice sounds, like the sounds she sometimes hummed quietly to herself, yet more distinct. Was that music?
Suddenly a voice sang out. Ayla turned and saw Barzec, his head thrown back, making a loud ululating cry that pierced the air. He dropped to a low vibrato that evoked a lump of feeling in Ayla’s throat, and ended with a sharp, high-pitched burst of air, that somehow managed to leave a question hanging. In response, the three musicians began a rapid beating on the mammoth bones, which repeated the sound Barzec had made, matching it in tone and feeling in a way that Ayla couldn’t explain.
Soon others joined in singing, not with words, but with tones and voice sounds, accompanied by the mammoth bone instruments. After a time, the music changed and gradually took on a different quality. It became slower, more deliberate, and the tones created a feeling of sadness. Fralie began to sing in a high, sweet voice, this time with words. She told a story of a woman who lost her mate, and whose child had died. It touched Ayla deeply, made her think of Durc, and brought tears to her eyes. When she looked up, she saw she was not alone, but she was most moved when she noticed Crozie, impassively staring ahead, her old face expressionless, but with rivulets of tears streaming down her cheeks.
As Fralie repeated the last phrases of the song, Tronie joined in, then Latie. On the next repetition, the phrase was varied, and Nezzie and Tulie, whose voice was a rich, deep contralto, sang with them. The phrase varied once more, more voices were added, and the music changed character again. It became a story of the Mother, and a legend of the people, the spirit world and their beginnings. When the women came to the place where Spirit Man was born, the men joined in, and the music alternated between the women’s and the men’s voices, and a friendly spirit of competition entered in.
The music became faster, more rhythmic. In a burst of exuberance, Talut pulled off his outer fur and landed in the center of the group with feet moving, fingers snapping. Amid laughter, shouts of approval, feet stomping and thigh slapping, Talut was encouraged in an athletic dance of kicking feet and high leaps in time to the music. Not to be outdone, Barzec joined him. As they were both tiring, Ranec entered the circle. His fast-stepping dance, displaying more intricate movements, brought on more shouts and applause. Before he stopped, he called for Wymez, who hung back at first, but then, encouraged by the people, began a dance whose movements had a distinctly different character to them.
Ayla was laughing and shouting with the rest, enjoying the music, singing, and dancing, but mostly the enthusiasm and fun, which filled her with good feelings. Druwez jumped in with a nimble display of acrobatics, then Brinan tried to copy him. His dance lacked the polish of his older brother’s, but he was applauded for his efforts, which encouraged Crisavec, Fralie’s oldest son, to join him. Then Tusie decided she wanted to dance. Barzec, with a doting smile, took both her hands in his and danced with her. Talut, taking a cue from Barzec, found Nezzie and brought her into the circle. Jondalar tried to coax Ayla to join, but she held back, then, noticing Latie looking with glistening eyes at the dancers, nudged him to see her.
“Will you show me the steps, Latie?” he asked.
She gave the tall man a grateful smile, Talut’s smile, Ayla noted again, and took both his hands as they moved toward the others. She was slender and tall for her twelve years, and moved gracefully. Comparing her with the other women with an outsider’s vision, Ayla thought she would be a very attractive woman one day.
More women joined the dance, and as the music changed character again, nearly everyone was moving in time to it. People began singing, and Ayla felt herself drawn forward to join hands and form a circle. With Jondalar on one side and Talut on the other, she moved forward and back and round and round, dancing and singing, as the music pushed them faster and faster.
Finally, with a last shout, the music ended. People were laughing, talking, catching their breath, the musicians as well as the dancers.
“Nezzie! Isn’t that food ready yet? I’ve been smelling it all day, and I’m starving!” Talut snouted.
“Look at him,” Nezzie said, nodding toward her great hulk of a man. “Doesn’t he look like he’s starving?” People chuckled. “Yes, the food is ready. We’ve just been waiting until everyone was ready to eat.”
“Well, I’m ready,” Talut replied.
While some people went to get their dishes, the ones who had cooked brought out the food. Each person’s dishes were individual possessions. Plates were often flat pelvic or shoulder bones from bison or deer, cups and bowls might be tightly woven, waterpr
oof small baskets or sometimes the cup-shaped frontal bones of deer with the antlers removed. Clamshells and other bivalves, traded for, along with salt, from people who visited or lived near the sea, were used for smaller dishes, scoops, and the smallest ones for spoons.
Mammoth pelvic bones were trays and platters. Food was served with large ladles carved from bone or ivory or antler or horn, and with straight pieces casually manipulated like tongs. Smaller straight tongs were used for eating along with the flint eating knives. Salt, rare and special so far inland, was served separately from a rare and beautiful mollusc shell.
Nezzie’s stew was as rich and delicious as the aroma had proclaimed it would be, complemented by Tulie’s small loaf cakes of ground grain which had been dropped in the boiling stew to cook. Though two birds did not go far in feeding the hungry Camp, everyone sampled Ayla’s ptarmigan. Cooked in the ground oven, it was so tender it fell apart. Her combination of seasonings, though unusual to the palates of the Mamutoi, was well received by the Lion Camp. They ate it all. Ayla decided she liked the grain stuffing.
Ranec brought out his dish near the end of the meal, surprising everyone because it was not his usual specialty. Instead he passed around crisp little cakes. Ayla sampled one, then reached for another.
“How you make this?” she asked. “Is so good.”
“Unless we can get a contest going every time, I don’t think they will be too easy to make again. I used the powdered grain, mixed it with rendered mammoth fat, then added blueberries and talked Nezzie out of a little of her honey, and cooked it on hot rocks. Wymez said my mother’s people used boar’s fat to cook with, but he wasn’t sure how. Since I don’t remember even seeing a boar, I thought I’d settle for mammoth fat.”
“Taste is same, almost,” Ayla said, “but nothing taste like this. Disappears in mouth.” Then she looked speculatively at the man with brown skin and black eyes and tight curly hair, who was, in spite of his exotic appearance, as much a Mamutoi of the Lion Camp as anyone. “Why you cook?”
He laughed. “Why not? There are only two of us at the Hearth of the Fox, and I enjoy it, though I’m glad enough to eat from Nezzie’s fire most of the time. Why do you ask?”
“Men of the Clan not cook.”
“A lot of men don’t, if they don’t have to.”
“No, men of the Clan not able to cook. Not know how. Not have memories for cooking.” Ayla wasn’t sure if she was making herself clear, but Talut came then pouring drinks of his fermented brew, and she noticed Jondalar eying her, trying not to look upset. She held out a bone cup and watched Talut fill it with bouza. She hadn’t liked it very much the first time she tasted it, but everyone else seemed to enjoy it so much she thought she’d try it again.
After Talut had poured for everyone, he picked up his plate and went back for a third helping of stew.
“Talut! Are you going back for more?” Nezzie said, in the not-quite-scolding tone that Ayla was coming to recognize as Nezzie’s way of saying she was pleased with the big headman.
“But you’ve outdone yourself. This is the best stew I’ve ever eaten.”
“Exaggerating again. You’re saying that so I won’t call you a glutton.”
“Now, Nezzie,” Talut said, putting his dish down. Everyone was smiling, giving each other knowing looks. “When I say you’re the best, I mean you’re the best.” He picked her up and nuzzled her neck.
“Talut! You big bear. Put me down.”
He did as he was bid, but fondled her breast and nibbled an earlobe. “I think you’re right. Who needs more stew? I think I’ll finish off dinner with you. Didn’t I get a promise earlier?” he replied, with feigned innocence.
“Talut! You’re as bad as a bull in heat!”
“First I’m a wolverine, then I’m a bear, now I’m an aurochs.” He bellowed a laugh. “But you’re the lioness. Come to my hearth,” he said, making motions as if he was going to pick her up and carry her off to the lodge.
Suddenly she gave in and laughed. “Oh, Talut. How dull life would be without you!”
Talut grinned, and the love and understanding in their eyes when they looked at each other spread its warmth. Ayla felt the glow, and deep in her soul she sensed that their closeness had come from learning to accept each other as they were, over a lifetime of shared experiences.
But their contentment brought disquieting thoughts to her. Would she ever know such acceptance? Would she ever understand anyone so well? She sat mulling over her thoughts, staring out across the river, and shared a quiet moment with the others as the broad empty landscape staged an awesome display.
The clouds to the north had expanded their territory by the time the Lion Camp finished the feast, and presented their reflecting surfaces to a rapidly retreating sun. In a flagrant blaze of glory, they proclaimed their triumph across the far horizon, flaunting their victory in blaring banners of orange and scarlet—careless of the dark ally, the other side of day. The lofty show of flying colors, flamboyant in its brazen splendor, was a short-lived celebration. The inexorable march of night sapped the volatile brilliance, and subdued the fiery tones to sanguine shades of carmine and carnelian. Flaming pink faded to smoky lavender, was overcome by ash purple, and finally surrendered to sooty black.
The wind increased with the coming night, and the warmth and shelter of the earthlodge beckoned. In the fading light, individual dishes were scoured by each person with sand and rinsed with water. The balance of Nezzie’s stew was poured into a bowl and the large cooking hide was cleaned the same way, then hung over the frame to dry. Inside, outer clothing was pulled off and hung on pegs, and fireplaces were stoked and fed.
Tronic’s baby, Hartal, fed and contented, went to sleep quickly, but three-year-old Nuvie, struggling to keep her eyes open, wanted to join the others who were beginning to congregate at the Mammoth Hearth. Ayla picked her up and held her when she toddled over, then carried her back to Tronie, sound asleep, before the young mother even left her hearth.
At the Hearth of the Crane, though he had eaten from his mother’s dish, Ayla noticed that Fralie’s two-year-old son, Tasher, wanted to nurse, then fussed and whined, which convinced Ayla that his mother’s milk was gone. He had just fallen asleep when an argument erupted between Crozie and Frebec and woke him. Fralie, too tired to spend energy on anger, picked him up and held him, but seven-year-old Crisavec had a scowl on his face.
He left with Brinan and Tusie when they came through. They found Rugie and Rydag, and all five children, who were near the same age, immediately began talking with words and hand signs, and giggling. They crowded onto a vacant bed platform together next to the one shared by Ayla and Jondalar.
Druwez and Danug were huddled together near the Fox Hearth. Latie was standing nearby, but either they didn’t see her or weren’t talking to her. Ayla watched her turn her back on the boys finally and, with her head down, shuffle slowly toward the younger children. The girl was not yet a young woman, Ayla guessed, but not far from it. It was a time when girls wanted other girls to talk to, but there were no girls her age at the Lion Camp, and the boys were ignoring her.
“Latie, you sit with me?” she asked. Latie brightened and sat beside Ayla.
The rest of the Aurochs Hearth came through the longhouse along the passageway. Tulie and Barzec joined Talut, who was conferring with Mamut. Deegie sat on the other side of Latie, and smiled at her.
“Where’s Druwez?” she asked. “I always knew if I wanted to find him, I just had to find you.”
“Oh, he’s talking to Danug,” Latie said. “They’re always together now. I was so glad when my brother came back, I thought all three of us would have so much to talk about. But they just want to talk to each other.”
Deegie and Ayla caught each other’s eye, and a knowing glance passed between them. The time had come when the friendships made as children needed to be looked at in a new light, and rearranged into the patterns of adult relationships when they would know each other as women and men,
but it could be a confusing, lonely time. Ayla had been excluded and alienated, one way or another, for most of her life. She understood what it meant to be lonely, even when surrounded by people who loved her. Later, in her valley, she had found a way to ease a more desperate loneliness, and she recalled the yearning and excitement in the girl’s eyes whenever she looked at the horses.
Ayla looked at Deegie, then at Latie to include her in the conversation. “This is so busy day. Many days so busy. I need help, could help me, Latie?” Ayla asked.
“Help you? Of course. What do you want me to do?”
“Before, every day I brush horses, go for ride. Now, I not have so much time, but horses need. Could help me? I show you.”
Latie’s eyes grew big and round. “You want me to help you take care of the horses?” she asked in a surprised whisper. “Oh, Ayla, could I?”
“Yes. As long as I am stay here, would be so much help,” Ayla replied.
Everyone had crowded into the Mammoth Hearth. Talut and Tulie and several others were talking about the bison hunt with Mamut. The old man had made the Search, and they were discussing whether he should Search again. Since the hunt had been so successful, they wondered if another would be possible soon. He agreed to try.
The big headman passed around more of the bouza, the fermented drink he had made from the starch of cattail roots, while Mamut was preparing himself for the Search, and filled Ayla’s cup. She drank most of the fermented brew he had given her outside, but felt a little guilty for throwing some away. This time, she smelled it, swished it around a few times, then took a deep breath and swallowed it down. Talut smiled and filled her cup again. She returned an insipid smile, and drank it, too. He filled her cup once more when he passed by and found it empty. She didn’t want it, but it was too late to refuse. She closed her eyes and gulped the strong liquid. She was getting more used to the taste, but she still couldn’t understand why everyone seemed to like it so much.
