by E. L. Todd
“You seem to be in a good place now.”
“Yes, I am.” Minus being divorced from a gay man. “So, I probably do have siblings out there somewhere. At least my bloodline continues.”
“You’ve never considered contacting your mom?”
“No. Her information is protected, and even if it weren’t, meeting her isn’t on my bucket list. She was so young at the time that I don’t judge her for what she did. She was just a child. And in the end, it worked out fine. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.”
Jax continued to look at me, slightly sad.
“Stop.” I gently placed my forefinger on the tip of his nose.
He chuckled at my touch. “Sorry. I don’t mean to do that. I really admire your attitude. You don’t throw yourself a pity party, and you don’t want anyone else to pity you either.”
“Unless it’s the kind of pity that will get me sex.” I made a light-hearted joke to change the subject.
When he smiled, I knew it worked. “In that case, I feel really bad for you.”
Jax held his weight on top of me with his muscular arms. They were resting on the mattress on either side of my chest, and he moved his hips in the sexiest way as he rocked into me. The condom separated us, but after another clean exam, I was prepared to remove it.
Instead of kissing me, he kept his eyes focused on mine. When he showed such intensity, he looked so undeniably sexy. His jaw was tight, and his eyes were focused with a beautiful smolder. Sweat glistened on his chest and shoulders, and he made the deepest moans in the back of his throat.
I fingered the sweaty strands of his hair and locked my ankles together around his waist. “You’re going to make me come, Jax.” Sex with him was easy because I almost always had a good climax. One of my biggest fears was being the reason Colton was gay, but with Jax, I wasn’t worried about the past repeating itself. A man couldn’t make love to a woman this well without enjoying every second of it.
“Come, sweetheart.” He ground hard against me, hitting me right where I needed it most.
My nails sank into him, and I came all around him, slathering his length with my come and tightness. My thighs squeezed him harder, and the rush I experienced was so powerful, my toes curled and my body nearly turned rigid. “Jax.”
He watched my performance with those smoldering eyes before he hit his own climax. “Yes…” He made his final pumps with aggression, hitting me deep and good every time. He finished with a groan, full of satisfaction and a hint of never-ending arousal. “Just as good as I remember.”
“Yeah…” My nails stopped digging into his back, and I slowly dragged them down his sweaty skin. I could feel him softening inside me.
Jax got off me and disposed of the condom before he came back to bed. “Here’s an idea. I’ll get another test done, and we can skip the condoms.”
There wasn’t anything I disliked about Jax, so I decided to move forward. If I stopped dating him and put myself back on the market, I wouldn’t find anyone else I liked more. Maybe I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but I wasn’t ready to lose something good either. “Good idea.”
“Yeah?” He cuddled into my side as he wore a handsome grin. “Good. I would much rather come inside you than a piece of latex.”
The last man to do that was my ex-husband, and at the time, it felt erotic to me. But now that I knew nothing was ever truly real, it didn’t seem sexy anymore. Maybe the intimacy with Jax would be a lot more fulfilling. “Me too.”
He rubbed his large hand across my tummy. “I probably shouldn’t rush this, and you can say no if you want, but would you want to—”
“Yes.” He’d just invited me to his sister’s wedding. I had a good hunch about it. “I would love to come as your lady.”
His grin widened. “Great. I look forward to it. After I give my sister away, I finally get to have some fun. There’s no one else I would rather have fun with than you.”
“That’s sweet.”
“And you can stay at my place—because she’ll finally be gone.”
I tracked down Aaron at his work and invited myself inside to his station.
He clearly wasn’t expecting to see me, but he wore a genuine smile. “Hey, Pepper. What brings you to this side of town?” He wore a tight t-shirt over his fit physique, and his green eyes looked even brighter under the salon lights.
“Colton.”
“Yeah?” he asked. “Is he with you?” He remained aloof, like there was no possibility he was doing anything wrong. That was the truth—he wasn’t. But Colton was a special case.
“No. He doesn’t know I’m here—and it’s going to stay that way.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Okay…” His smile slowly slid off his face.
“Look, I don’t know how much Colton has told you about himself, but this is his first time on the scene. He was married to me for three years before he came out. He’s nervous, self-conscious, and vulnerable right now.”
“No…I didn’t know he was married to you.”
“It ended on great terms, and we’re still just as close as we were before. The last thing I want for him is to get hurt. So this is my point, Aaron. If you don’t like him and don’t see it going anywhere, tell him that and stop texting him. If you do actually like him, be more responsive to him. He’s just in a really vulnerable place right now.”
Aaron stared at me for a while, clearly unsure how to process that much information in thirty seconds. “You’re looking out for him. I respect that.”
“Good. So figure out what you want—and stick to it.”
“I do like him, Pepper. But I’m also at a stage in my life where I’m just having fun. I like to go out with different men and have a good time. We were never exclusive, so I’m sorry if he ever thought we were.”
“No, he didn’t think you were exclusive. He’s just having a hard time figuring out why you aren’t texting him back.”
He shrugged. “I was busy. You know how it is when you’re single.”
No, I didn’t. I was only single for a short time, and I wound up in a relationship I wasn’t ready for. “You aren’t doing anything wrong, Aaron. But Colton is delicate. If you aren’t looking for a relationship, just break it off. There’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t keep him on your hook either.”
He nodded before he gave me a slight smile. “You’re a good friend, Pepper. I like the way you have his back. Makes me like him more. It’s not easy to be married to a woman, realize you’re gay, and then keep that same kind of relationship. He must be an incredible man.”
“Yes…he’s the best.” I loved him with all my heart—forever.
I was at the shop when Finn showed up.
But I wasn’t ready for what I was about to see.
Dressed in his military uniform with his captain’s rank on his shoulder, Finn walked inside as his heavy boots thudded against the hardwood floor. Wearing a serious expression that would terrify any enemy that he came across, he was all man—from head to toe.
I’d never cared about a man in uniform—but my jaw was practically on the ground right now.
He headed for my desk, his eyes locked on me while he kept his stoic expression. He seemed even taller in his uniform, more muscular, and more regal. I’d seen him without a shirt, and that was a beautiful sight—but this was even sexier.
He stopped at the counter and stared at me.
My brain was scrambled, and I couldn’t say a single word. All logic left my mind, just as it had when we kissed last week. A more handsome man had never stepped foot inside my store—or my life. My eyes trailed up and down, taking in his perfection with a suddenly dry mouth. “Uh…if you’re trying to bring more customers into the store…I think it’s going to work.”
Finally, the corner of his mouth rose in a smile. “I was going to stop by Mr. Robinson’s office and give him a piece of my mind.”
“Right now?” I blurted, still thinking about how that uniform fit
his perfect body. “What’s your goal? To turn him gay?”
His smile widened even more. “Women always love the uniform…”
“Can’t blame them.” My eyes continued to scan his body as I reminisced over our kiss.
“I was planning on threatening him instead.”
My eyes flicked back to his. “I don’t think threatening a lawyer is a good idea.”
“And I don’t think discriminating against someone based on their orientation is a good idea either,” he countered. “You coming with me or not?”
No good would come from this, but I wasn’t going to let some asshole put Colton down. “I’m in.”
“I knew you would be.”
We ignored the protests of his secretary as we barged into his office.
“You really can’t go in there,” she said as her heels clapped on the floor behind us.
“Shh! Go away.” I shut the door in her face.
Mr. Robinson was on the phone, and he looked at Finn with a raised eyebrow as he continued his conversation.
Finn snatched the phone out of his hand before he slammed it back down on the receiver.
Mr. Robinson took a second to respond because he was shocked by the audacity. “Who the hell do you—”
“Finn Burke—captain and physician in the armed forces. That’s who the fuck I am, asshole.” He placed both hands on his desk and leaned forward, invading Mr. Robinson’s space like it was land about to be claimed. “You discriminated against my brother and harassed him for being gay—and I don’t need to remind you that’s illegal.”
“You know what else is illegal?” Mr. Robinson challenged. “Breaking in to someone’s office and harassing them.”
Finn kept his cool. “What about assault?”
Mr. Robinson froze at the insinuation.
Finn made good on his word and punched him in the face, making his nose bleed.
I covered my mouth to stifle my scream.
Mr. Robinson covered his nose then examined his bloody hands. He didn’t make a single sound before he looked up and met Finn’s gaze, too shocked to speak.
I couldn’t believe Finn had done that.
“I could strip you of your merits and bring your ass into the courtroom,” Mr. Robinson threatened.
“I hope you do.” If Finn was bluffing, it didn’t seem like it. He continued to control the situation with his authority, towering over Mr. Robinson like he was a little girl. “I’m sure the world would love to hear about a captain defending his brother’s basic rights. I’m sure they would love to hear about my tours in Afghanistan and the number of soldiers I’ve saved on the battlefield. And I’m sure they would love to listen to me rip you apart. So it’s up to you. I don’t give a shit what you do.” He stood upright and straightened, his massive shoulders tensing with rage. “Don’t fuck with my brother, asshole.” To top it off, he spat on his desk, right on a pile of documents.
I was there to defend Colton too, but I didn’t get a single word in—not that I needed to.
Finn turned for the door and walked out with me. The hallway was silent as the lawyers and clerks watched us go. Only the footsteps he took in his heavy boots were audible—along with the sound of my pounding heart.
When we walked inside Colton’s apartment, he wasn’t home.
Finn immediately removed his boots and left them by the door.
I was still shocked by what had just happened. “That was amazing. It looked like he was gonna shit his pants.”
“I’m sure he did.” Finn brushed it off like it was nothing. “Asshole got what he deserves—including pants that are full of shit.”
That could have gone much worse, but it seemed to work out in our favor. “The way you punched him…”
“He’s gonna be in pain for a while.” He stood upright and slowly walked toward me, his muscular arms hanging by his sides. “I never thought I would wear this uniform again. I’m glad I could put it to good use.”
“Yeah…and it looks great on you.” My eyes moved up and down as I smiled. Now that he knew I had the hots for him, I didn’t feel the need to hide it anymore. Nothing would ever happen, so it was harmless.
He grinned. “Thanks.”
“Are we gonna tell Colton?”
He shrugged. “Maybe later. I think the wound is too raw right now. He might get upset.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“We’ll wait until he starts his new job.” Just like any other time we were alone in a room together, the tension escalated. Like heat from the floor that rose to the ceiling, I could feel it brush against my skin. Sometimes it seemed like it was just lust that existed between us, but I suspected it was more than that. Exactly what it was…I didn’t know. But it was always there no matter what. “What’s new?”
“With me?” I asked.
“Yeah. We haven’t really talked much lately.” He turned to the fridge and grabbed a beer. “You want one?”
“Sure.”
He twisted off the cap and left the bottle on the counter. Instead of joining me, he went for the scotch.
I shouldn’t have expected anything else. “I talked to Aaron today.”
“Yeah?” He brought the glass to his lips as he stood at the counter. He was usually shirtless whenever he was in the apartment, so seeing him fully clothed was rare. Seeing him in uniform was even rarer. “You just bumped into him?”
“No. I tracked him down at work.”
“Bit stalker-ish,” he teased.
“I told him to be sensitive to Colton since he’d been through so much. I said it’s fine if you don’t like him, but don’t keep him on your hook. If you do like him, be more transparent about it.”
He set down the glass. “That was sweet of you.”
“I just don’t want Colton to get hurt. I understand heartbreak is a part of life, but…I don’t want him to go through that right off the bat. He’s nervous and self-conscious. He’s really vulnerable right now. I just want the world to go easy on him for a while.”
Finn watched me as he took a drink, his blue eyes drilling into mine. “He’s lucky to have you, Pepper. Not too many people would do that for their ex-husband who lied during their marriage and wasted their time.”
“That’s not how it was…”
“I know my brother didn’t mean to hurt you. But that doesn’t excuse his behavior. It wasn’t right—and we both know it.”
“What’s done is done. No point in being angry about it.” I loved him too much to be angry.
“I know. But it’s still surprising that you would bend over backward for him.”
“It’s not surprising at all.” We were very happy together, even if it didn’t last forever.
“He’s a lucky guy—having you look out for him.”
“You look out for him too, which means he’s even luckier.” Colton had both of us to defend him even if he didn’t realize it. I guess that justified the kiss we’d shared behind his back. We made a mistake, but we made up for it in every other way.
“I think we’ve established he’s a lucky bastard,” he said with a chuckle. He unbuttoned the jacket and then peeled it off his body to reveal the olive-green t-shirt underneath. His muscular physique made his uniform so formfitting, but once he peeled it away, all that hardness was visible. “Colton’s life is definitely on the rise. When he gets a new job, he’ll be much happier. And maybe Aaron will be more serious or leave him be.”
“I hope he’s more serious. Even if it doesn’t last forever, it’ll give Colton some experience and confidence. Then he can play the field and have fun with it. I know Colton isn’t looking to settle down right now anyway, but he needs to get out of his awkward phase. He’s a good-looking guy with a lot to offer.”
“He’ll get there eventually.” He folded the jacket neatly then placed it on the dining table. With his other clothes, he tossed them aside and seemed indifferent, but his uniform was obviously special to him.
I stared at the uniform a
nd noticed a medal pinned to the front. I wasn’t familiar with the different ranks and medals along with their meanings, with the exception of the Purple Heart. This metal in particular hung from a red fabric rectangle with a blue line down the middle. “What medal is this?” I stood next to the table and pointed at the one I referred to without actually touching it.
He came to my side, and his eyes followed my finger. “Bronze Star Medal.”
“What does it mean?”
“It’s a medal given for an act of heroism in a warzone.”
I turned back to him, my eyes examining the painful memory in his eyes. “What was your act of heroism?”
Finn stared at the medal for a long time, his body absolutely still and his eyes unblinking. The silence stretched for so long that it seemed like he was reliving every moment of his past, thinking about the day he’d earned that medal. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Our conversation had been positive a few minutes ago, but just like any other time his tenure in the military was mentioned, he shut down completely. He picked up the jacket and carried it to his bedroom.
When he didn’t return, I knew he wanted to be left alone.
17
Colton
It was nice not having a job.
I didn’t miss the office, and I loved sleeping in every day. By the time I woke up in the morning, Finn had already showered, hit the gym, and ate breakfast. If he brought a woman over, I didn’t see her at all.
I entered the kitchen when it was almost eleven.
Finn sat at the kitchen table with his paperwork spread around him. He used his cell phone to dictate his medical records after spending twelve hours in the ER the night before. He finished up one folder then hung up. “It’s almost noon.”
“It’s not like I have anywhere to be.” The coffee in the pot was six hours old, so I made a new batch then joined him at the dining table. I wasn’t in a rush, so I sipped my coffee and relaxed in the chair, watching the steam rise from the surface of the hot liquid.
