by J B Heller
I turned the key and brought Cherry, my car to life and sped out of the parking lot.
Admittedly I was an A grade arse after that. After her psychotic break, I blew her off, and stopped answering her incessant phone calls. A week later she was still calling me almost hourly, and I figured maybe I owed her an apology. I arranged to have coffee with her and apologise for my behaviour. She was really good about it, until I said that I would appreciate it if she stopped calling me. The crazy look that flashed in her eyes scared the shit out of me.
Things got worse from there. I even got a restraining order, not that it stopped her. Piper was my last hope. She’s kind of scary looking to business type women. She’s tall, confidant, doesn’t take shit, and has an attitude to match the killer heels she’s always wearing. If anyone could scare off Jamie’s crazy arse, it was Piper.
I got out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed. I grabbed a cup of coffee to go and headed to my car. What I found nearly made me cry.
“Frigin Crazy Bitch!” I yelled.
She had keyed my car – my baby, my pride and joy. How the hell had she gotten into my garage? I never had a need for a security system, until now. If she could get into my garage, she could get into my house. An involuntary shiver ran the length of my spine. That’s it! I was getting a security system installed.
That car was the first thing I’d bought for myself when I sold my first anti-virus program. She was a mint condition, cherry red, fully restored 1965 two door, hard top Mustang. And I loved her. That crazy bitch had crossed a line. No one touched my car.
I didn’t have time to take her into Rhett’s shop right then. I was already running late for work, so I called Rhett on my way.
“Hey man. I need one of your boys to come pick up Cherry from the office. That crazy bitch, Jamie, keyed her.”
“You’re screwing with me, right?” I could hear the shock in his voice.
“I screw you not, man.” I let out a humourless laugh.
“You need to get a restraining order on that psycho, dude.”
I groaned aloud. “I got one, but it’s not worth the paper it’s written on.”
“Shit man, what are you gonna do?”
”I’m workin’ on it dude. I’m workin on it.”
“Alright, I’ll send Danni down when he gets in. I’ll have him leave the loaner car in your spot, keys in the rim.”
”Nah, dude, have him bring them up to me.”
“Alright, talk later man.”
I pulled into my spot and looked around the lot. I didn’t see Jaime, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t there. This girl was turning me into a paranoid little bitch. I couldn’t think about it anymore, or I was liable to hunt her down and do something I’d regret.
As Rhett promised, Danni showed up later that morning with a set of keys for the loaner. I felt like I was cheating on Cherry. She was my girl, it didn’t feel right holding keys to another car in my hand. I imagined this is how a parent felt when their child was sick and got sent to the hospital. My only consolation was Cherry would be in good hands. Rhett owned the best restoration shop in the city. He’d have her back to me in no time.
As always, I was first to arrive at the shop. I came in early to make sure everything was ready for the day, and I stayed late most of the time to make sure it would be perfect for the next morning. I’m a little OCD when it comes to the Den. I built it up from nothing, and in just three short years I’ve hired four stylists, two nail techs, and a waxing girl who doubles as the receptionist.
Vipers’ Den is not your ordinary salon. We specialise in everything alternative. You won’t find any business women or Suzie Home Makers coming in here to have their hair done. We cater to a different type of crowd.
One of my girls, Tempest, is full on Goth. Another named Pixie, fittingly has fairy wings tattooed on her back, and hair down to her butt. She also had her ears cosmetically altered to look elfish. Mish is the only one of us with clean skin. He’s often mistaken as a gay guy since he works with a bunch of women styling hair all day. Tay looks like she stepped out of a time machine straight from the 1920’s – and that’s just my hair staff.
Ever had your nails done by a guy? I highly recommend it. Both my nail techs are men. And yes, they’re both straight. Well, Nate is. Ash, I have my doubts about his sexuality. Not that it maters either way, they are amazing at their job. I wouldn’t dare let anyone else touch my nails.
That brings me to Reagan, she’s a petite little thing. You’ll never see her without her platform heels, and even with them she’s still a shorty. And she’s seriously the best waxer ever. Just sayin’.
We’re a motley crew, but we’re family. I wouldn’t trade any one of them for anything. We all have our quirks and differences of opinion, but what family doesn’t? We deal with it and move on. My shop runs like a well-oiled machine.
As usual the Den was fully booked. If I didn’t have such a great team it would have been mayhem in there. We book out two weeks in advance all year round. The only time my staff gets holidays are when we close for six weeks over Christmas and New Years. I’m not a complete bitch though, if someone died or something they’d get time off then too.
By the time one o’clock rolled around I was starving. I hadn’t eaten since that morning. I usually try to snack on nuts or something throughout the day to keep my energy levels up, but that day was chaos and I got carried away. I hadn’t even thought about eating. Not two minutes past one Kade strolled in holding a bag overflowing with food. He’d known me long enough to know just how much I could eat. I smiled at him, convincing myself it was the food in his arms I was smiling at – not him.
He walked right up to me, and in front of everyone, slid his arm around my waist, then behind my back, and pulled my body into his. We were nose to nose, and I froze. He gave my nose a gentle nudge with his before placing a quick kiss against my lips. I still couldn’t move, and could feel the eyes of each of my staff boring into me. My loathing for Kade was no secret around there, so I’m sure everyone was wondering what the hell was going on.
Tempest spoke up, breaking the spell I was clearly under. “Hold the freaking phone,” she said, pointing her scissors at us. “What the hell was that?”
Kade turned to her then back to me, confusion in his eyes.
“You didn’t tell them, baby?” he whispered, swiping a stray piece of hair from my face.
Tempest let out another outburst before I could reply. “I knew it! I bet the sex is great. All those hot angry emotions fuelling you – Pure magic!” A dreamy expression clouded her eyes.
My eyes were screaming at her to shut her damn mouth and focus on her client who was at that very moment checking out Kade’s arse. Kade’s smile widened and the edges of his eyes crinkled as he tried to suppress his laughter. I did the only thing I could, flipped her off and grabbed Kade’s hand, dragging him off to the back room.
Once safely inside I slammed the door shut behind us.
“What the hell was that?” I yelled at him.
The bastard had the nerve to act innocent. “What? I was just greeting my girlfriend.”
Seriously? He didn’t think I was that stupid did he? “Greeting your girlfriend my arse. You can pay to have the salon seats cleaned, because I guarantee they’re all wet now.”
He stood taller and smoothed out his suit with his hands. “Really? You think I still got it?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. He knew he still had it. “Feed me, or piss off,” I groaned.
He pulled everything out of the bag and placed in on the coffee table. My mouth started to water as I got a whiff of the Chinese food he splayed out before me. He got all my favourites: Honey Chicken, Sweet and Sour Pork, Plum Pork, Fresh Steamed Vegetables and of course Special Fried Rice minus the shrimp. I was salivating. He even got some Egg Rolls. I could get used to this. Most days I just threw a sandwich together and scarfed it down before my next client arrived. This feast was much more appealing, even if it meant
I had to spend time with this jackarse.
Kade snapped me out of my food induced trance. “You going to eat with me or stand there drooling?”
My eyes darted away from the food to his, but only for a moment. I could see how proud he was of himself for remembering what I liked to eat. I had to admit, I was impressed. I walked over and sat on one of the couches across from where he stood with his hands on his hips. He watched me as I kicked off my heels one at a time and tucked my feet underneath my butt.
Glaring at him, I asked. “Are you going to eat or stand there drooling?” I used his own words on him.
His gaze narrowed. “Me, drooling? Over you?” He laughed. “Not likely.” He sat next to me and we ate in silence. After a few minutes he wiped his mouth with a napkin and put his food back on the table. That action meant the silent part was over. Yay!
I wanted to get it over with, so I beat him to the punch. “What’s up?” Immediately, I went back to shoving heaping forkfuls of food in my mouth. I was used to eating in front of him so it didn’t bother me that I most likely looked like a pig at that moment. It’s not like I was trying to impress him.
He cleared his throat. “So Jamie showed up at my house again this morning.” The mention of his stalker had made me so giddy inside I had to fight to hold in the laughter. I still thought it was hilarious that he had a stalker.
He glared at me, his face relaxing. “Stop smiling.”
I tried to make my lips lay straight, but failed. “I’m not smiling. I’m eating, see.” I shovelled another fork full of chicken into my mouth in an effort to wipe the smile from my face.
He rolled his eyes at me, slightly shaking his head. “Don’t bother pretending you’re not getting a kick out of all this. I know you are. Anyway, she showed up demanding to know where I was last night. I told her I was with my girlfriend and she went nuts. The bitch keyed Cherry.”
I nearly choked on my chicken. Cherry was more than just a car, she was like the child Kade never had. What kind of person would do that? This bitch is bat shit crazy.
He leaned forward holding his head in his hands. “I know, right? She’s in at Rhett’s now. I’ve got the loaner, but I thought I should let you know –” he paused and turned to look at me. “Now that I’ve told her I have a girlfriend she might try getting to you somehow. I’m not sure how, but I wouldn’t rule it out.”
I scoffed at the insinuation that she could take me. “I can take care of myself.”
He nodded. “I know that, that’s part of the reason I asked to do this. Just keep your eyes open is all I’m saying.”
His big brown eyes were pleading with me, so I agreed before asking the big question. “How bad is Cherry?”
He looked like he was going to cry. I knew how important Cherry was to him. Heaving a deep sigh, he said, “She’ll be ok, she’s in good hands.”
Before I realised it, I had reached out to rub his back. He went stiff when my hand first made contact. I suppose he was used to me hitting him, or going for his pressure points, not offering comfort. His tense body relaxed moments later and he hunched forward, circling his fingertips over his temples. I couldn’t believe I was willingly touching him, but I kept gliding my hand across his shoulders for a little longer. Only because he looked like he needed it.
When we finished eating I still had a little time before my next appointment was due. I sat back twiddling my thumbs because I had no idea how to approach this. So as I usually did, I blurted it out. “I don’t want to have sex with you!”
He reared back in shock. “What?”
“This fake relationship, I’m fine with the PDA if it’s a must, but no sex. This—” I gestured between us, “is strictly business and I’m not a whore.” I explained.
His eyes bugged out of his head. “Have I ever implied you’re a whore, Piper? I didn’t say anything about sex.”
Sighing, I leaned back in my seat. “I know, I just wanted to put it out there. Now there’s no confusion about the matter.”
He was still reeling. He looked between my face and his hands several times before he finally spoke. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression I’d be expecting you to sleep with me. I know how you feel about me, Piper.” His nostrils flared as he released a deep breath and rolled his shoulders relaxing them. “I’m honestly just grateful you’re doing this for me.”
“If this didn’t benefit me too, I wouldn’t be doing it. Now when do you want to tell Rhett?” I felt like a bitch for the way I had put it, but it had to be said.
He shook his head again. “That’s your department.”
I don’t’ think so buddy. “Na-ah, you’re his best friend, it’s all on you.”
“I’m not doing it by myself. We should do it together. After all, like you said this deal benefits us both.”
Damn it, he had a point.
Clenching my jaw, I huffed. “Fine, but you’re not using me as a human shield. We both know how this is going to go down.”
He cringed. “I know, that’s why I figure we should do it in public. He’ll be less likely to smash my face in for bangin’ his little sister behind his back.”
Way to make me feel like a lady, huh? “Gee, make it sound so classy why don’t you?”
Again he rolled his eyes at me. “It doesn’t matter how I make it sound, that’s all he’s going to hear.”
I shrugged. I really wouldn’t have minded if Rhett pummelled him. So I really didn’t care what words he used to tell him as long as he didn’t hurt him. I didn’t want Rhett to be upset; I knew he’d feel like we’d been lying to him. But I guess that couldn’t be avoided.
“So, when are we going to do it?” he asked me.
I thought about it, then replied, “I’m working late every night this week, maybe on the weekend?”
“Alright, I’ll call him and set up beers at the pub on Saturday.” He nodded to himself, then glanced down to my feet.
I cleared my throat. “Do you have some kind of weird foot fetish or something I should know about?”
His eyes lifted quickly to my face. “What? No. I was just wondering how you work such long hours in those damn shoes.”
Looking at my fabulous shoes, I smiled. “I manage, I’ve been doing it for so long guess I’m used to it. I mean, my feet start to hurt when I pull a really long shift, but most of the time I’m okay.”
“You pull really long shifts all the time. Why not spare yourself the pain and wear normal shoes?” He stared at me like I wasn’t right in the head.
“Um, no. By normal you mean those ordinary little plain black ‘working woman’ shoes. I’d rather throw myself under a bus then wear those.” I cringed at the thought of wearing those shoes.
He rolled his eyes at me, shaking his head as he rose to his feet. He leaned down and gently kissed my temple. “Whatever, Pip. I’ll call you later.”
Then he was gone.
Why did that feel so natural? And why didn’t I throw my shoe at him for calling me Pip? I hate that pet name. He has called me Pip for years, he knows I hate it. While I sat there stewing over his stupid pet name for me I heard my phone ringing by the sink. I got up to answer it, and noticed it was mum. Great, she had probably set up another dud date.
“Hey, Ma,” I answered.
“Oh, Piper, honey. I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”
“Well, Ma, you’re the one who called me, so who were you expecting to answer?”
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought you’d be busy. I was going to leave you a message.”
I glanced down at my nails and picked at my cuticles. “Aha, so what’s up?”
“You remember my friend Judy?”
I knew it! This is how it always started, ‘you remember my friend such and such, well she has a son and he’s single too.’ But this time I could cut her off before she got too ahead of herself. “Yeah, Ma, I remember Judy. And let me guess, she has a single son?”
“How did you know?”
�
�Because we have this conversation frequently, Ma. Look, I’ve actually started seeing someone. So I won’t be going on any more of your disastrous dates.” I braced myself for her response.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me, honey? When did this happen? Who is it? Do I know him? Tell me everything!” she gushed.
“I haven’t had a chance to tell you, it’s kinda new. But I don’t have time to talk about it now, my next client will be here any minute, Ma.”
“Well, at least tell me his name, sweetheart,” she pleaded with me.
Here’s goes nothing. “Kade. I’m seeing Kade Benson.”
Her squeal of joy nearly burst my ear drum. “Oh, honey! I’m so happy for you. It’s about time you realised that boy is crazy about you. Oh, I’m just so excited. You two should come for dinner on Friday.”
She was getting way ahead of herself like I knew she would. “No, Ma, like I said, it’s pretty new. It could turn into nothing. So just hold your horses. Give it a few weeks then we’ll come for dinner, okay?”
She huffed loud enough for me to hear it. “Fine.”
“Thanks, Ma, now I really gotta go. Love you. Mmmwa.” We always do the kissy sound at the end of our phone calls.
“Say hello to Kade for me sweetie. Mmmwa.”
“Will do, Ma. Bye.”
I’d never been so relieved to end a phone call. It was worse than I expected. Dinner, umm no. And Kade was crazy about me? I don’t think so. More like we drive each other crazy. I don’t know where mum comes up with these things. I swear she’s delusional.
Pixie knocked on the door as she walked in. “Heard you on the phone to Mumma bear.”
“Yeah and?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
She smirked in return. “So, you and Kade are for real, huh?”
I shrugged it off. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“You guess so? You just told your mum you are. You better not be lying to your mother, Piper Jones! That woman is too lovely to be lied to.”
