by J B Heller
Her eyes softened with understanding; I didn’t need to tell her, she knew. “Give me your number, Jake. I can’t promise that she’ll call, but I’ll give it to her.” She got up and got a pen and business card from the reception desk, then handed them to me.
I scribbled my number down and handed it back to her. She slipped it in her pocket and took a step back. “All right, Jake, that’s the best I can do for you right now. I think it would be best if you left. Give her a few days, okay?”
I stood up to leave, but turned around when I reached the exit. “Thank you, Piper.” Then I left.
Piper walked through the door to the back room about fifteen minutes later and came to sit by my side again. “He’s gone, chicky, for now. But he’ll be back. Who is he to you?”
This was it, the moment everything I’d been running away from caught up with me. “He’s my past.”
Piper looked me in the eyes. “Well, now he’s in your present. What are you going to do about it?” she asked me in full seriousness.
“Do I have to do anything? Can’t I just run and hide in here whenever he shows up?” I let out a humourless laugh. “I don’t know, Piper. I’m not ready to face my past, and that’s what he represents.” I hadn’t wanted to leave him behind when I ran away, but I couldn’t risk it. They knew how close we were, they would have been watching him after I disappeared.
Piper reached over and ran her hand over my back then began rubbing circles comforting me. I wrapped my arms around my knees and laid my head on them, facing her. Tears formed in my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry. I had shed enough tears about my past.
“My life before we met, Piper, it wasn’t pretty. I haven’t seen my family in nearly twelve years. And I have no plans to ever see them again. But if Jake knows where I am, they might too. I can’t go back, Piper, I can’t.” My tears flowed down my cheeks, soaking into my leggings.
Pipers hand moved from my back to my shoulder as she pulled me into her body to hold me. “Shhh, Pix, it’s okay. We’ll get this sorted out.” she said, running her hand up and down my arm. Every now and then she would give me a squeeze then keep rubbing.
Sometime later I woke up on the couch in the back room of the salon. I don’t know how I got there; Piper couldn’t have picked me up. I sat up slowly, looking around the room, and saw Kade, Piper’s fiancé, leaning against the sink watching me.
When he noticed I was awake, he walked over and sat on the couch opposite me. “Hey, Pix, how you feelin’?”
I eyed him. What was he doing here? “Bit shit, actually. You?”
He smiled back at me. “Just fine. You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m doing here, right?” I nodded, so he continued. “Reagan called me, actually. Said some guy showed up, spooked you, and you and Piper were holed up in the back room. So here I am.”
I smiled. Kade was perfect for Piper. He would do anything for her. I wished I had what they have. “Thanks, Kade. You didn’t have to come down here, though.”
“Yeah, I did, you’re part of our little family, Pix. If you need me, I’m here. So tell me what spooked you.” I could see sincerity written all over his face.
I wrung my hands together. “A blast from the past, but not a welcome one.”
He nodded. “Are we talking ex-boyfriend, stalker, gang member, drug lord?” He lifted his lips in a grin, but he didn’t know how close to the truth he had come.
I didn’t want to give away too much, just in case I got lucky and Jake decided to leave me alone and disappear the way I had so long ago. “Ex-boyfriend, I suppose. It was a long time ago, Kade, nearly twelve years. I left without an explanation or a goodbye. I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen.”
Kade’s eyebrows crinkled together, forming frown lines on his forehead. “So, what’s the problem? Did he hit you or something?”
I let out a deep sigh and shook my head. “No, he never laid a hand on me. He loved me, we loved each other.” My eyes began to water again as my emotions started getting the better of me. “I couldn’t take him with me.”
Kade got up and came to sit beside me, wrapping me up in his big, warm arms. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and cried. I cried for the girl I never had a chance to be. I cried for the girl who had to run away and leave the only person in this world who made her feel loved. I cried for the girl who had to figure out life on her own. And I cried for the girl I would never be again.
I hadn’t been that girl for a long time. I was no longer Tia Malone; I was Pixie Cole now, and Pixie Cole couldn’t have the boy that belonged to Tia Malone.
When I got back to the crappy hotel I was staying in, I busted open the little bottles of booze they kept in the mini bar, the ones that cost the same amount as a regular-sized bottle if I was to buy it at the bottle-o. But I hadn’t had the foresight to stop at one on my way back. I knocked back all six of them, one after the other. My eyes watered from the burn as the alcohol slid down my throat. I wasn’t a drinker, drinking lowers your inhibitions and I can’t afford to let that happen. Tonight though, I really didn’t give a shit.
Seeing Tia after all these years still felt so surreal. I closed my eyes and lay back on the hard double bed in my room. I thought of her. Her ash blonde hair cut up around her ears and spiked out, an attempt to piss off her parents. They couldn’t do any worse to her than they already did. Not long before she disappeared, she had the outer edge of her ear pierced. I thought it was cute, but her parents didn’t agree.
Tia had a fire inside of her, but she only let it blaze in front of me. I started taking her to the gym room I had set up in the basement of my family’s estate. I showed her a healthy way to release her demons. She used to keep them bottled deep inside, it wasn’t safe. One day she would explode, annihilating everyone and thing in her path.
The first few times we went down there, she lashed out so hard that her hands bruised and she busted her knuckles. I cleaned her up before I took her home. I hated taking her home. I hated having to be polite to her father. All I wanted to do was smash his head into the marble floors of their mansion until it split in two. If I did, though, my father would have done worse to me.
Tia and I were pawns, nothing more, nothing less.
My mind drifted back to the last time I saw her, the last time I held her in my arms.
“I’ll find a way, Tia, I promise, sweetness. We will be free.” Her sleepy eyes draw me in, and I lean down and kiss her again. She responds straight away, wrapping her delicate arms around my neck, pulling herself up my body.
“I know you will, Jake.” she whispers against my lips, then rests her head on my shoulder. Her small frame begins to shake as tears wrack her body. I wrap her tighter in my arms.
She has another “date” tonight. I close my eyes as tight as I can but still a single tear escapes.
I jolted awake, sweat dripping down my face. I looked around my dark hotel room. I was alone. Always alone.
In the morning I sat on the edge of my bed, holding my phone in my hands, staring at it, waiting. I waited all day.
Two more days had passed of me just sitting and waiting, I still hadn’t heard from Tia. I felt it in my gut, she wasn’t going to call. My heart sank, all the hope that had built up since I recognised her in the supermarket last week had vanished. Alone. I was alone again.
I clutched my head in my hands, heaving in deep breaths; it was like losing her all over again. I couldn’t do it, I needed her. I snatched my bike keys and phone from the rickety bedside table. I had to go back to that salon.
My phone began to vibrate and sing in my palm as I strode to the door. I looked down, checking the caller ID. It was an unfamiliar number. Tia?
I answered without any further thought. “Tia?” her name rushed from my lips.
The voice on the other end was familiar, but it wasn’t Tia. “No, sorry. It’s Piper. I own the salon you came into the other day. Can we talk?”
“Sure.” I murmured.
She got straight to
the point. “What do you want with— Tia?” I could hear the hesitation in her voice when she said Tia’s name.
“I just want to talk to her, that’s all. I swear. I won’t hurt her. I could never hurt her,” I assured the woman on the other end of the phone.
“I believe you, but you just being here is hurting her. She’s been a mess since you came in the other day. From what I can get out of her, you’re a part of her past. A part she didn’t want to leave but didn’t feel she had a choice.” she replied.
I slammed my clenched fist into the wall. The pain radiating through my hand was nothing compared to the pain in my chest, hearing that my presence was hurting my beautiful Tia. But a small spark of hope ignited when Piper said Tia hadn’t wanted to leave me.
The words were a mere whisper as they left my lips. “She didn’t want to leave me?”
But she heard me. “No, I don’t think so.” She paused for a moment then continued. “I love— Tia and I will protect her, do you understand that?” Again she hesitated using Tia’s name.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Where was she going with this? I started nodding, knowing I didn’t care what she was about to ask of me, I would do it. “Yes.”
“I’ll text you an address, come there tonight at six, she will be there. But she won’t be alone. My fiancée and I will be there too.” She hung up before I could respond. A minute later a text came through with an address, and a threat.
~Don’t think I can’t kick your arse myself if you hurt her. My fiancé won’t be there to help me beat you, he’ll be there to make sure you can walk away when I’m done.~
Strangely enough, after meeting this woman I believed her threat. She looked badass, and I’m pretty sure those heels she wears would help, not hinder, her assault.
I sat back down on the bed. Should I take her something? Did she even know about this, or is her friend setting this up on the sly? But then again, why would a woman who doesn’t even know me help me out with this? Her loyalty was clearly to Tia. I felt the side of my mouth lift in a slight smile. I was glad she had friends like that woman. She was a little scary, but she was genuine. She’s the kind of person Tia needed in her life.
I leaned over to my satchel bag on the floor beside the bed and pulled out the only photo I had of Tia and me together. It was slightly crumpled from age and the countless times I’d sat there holding it in my hands, staring at her face, hoping and praying I would see it again.
We were sixteen. I had my arm wrapped around her shoulder, while hers both wrapped around my waist. I was looking down at her tucked into my side, and she was looking up at me with love shining in her emerald eyes. We were all each other had. My world began and ended with her, just like hers began and ended with me.
I kissed the photo and slid it back into my satchel, wondering if we could ever be like that again. God, I hoped so. She looked different now, very different. Her ears were pointy, like an elf or a fairy. At first I thought they were fake, part of a dress-up or something. But after watching her for a few days, I realised she must have had them surgically altered. I wondered why she would do something like that.
Her hair was long now too, down past her little waist and cut into a point. It was dark blue at the roots and faded as it went down to a light green. She had it out mostly, except for the top, which was pulled back in two thin braids that joined at the back. For all intents and purposes, she looked like a fairy. Even her clothes were different from the girl I once knew. She wore flowy skirts and peasant-style tops.
I had followed her home that first day. I kept my distance so as not to scare her. For the next few days, I followed her to and from the salon she worked at. It was not a regular hairdressers, I watched the comings and goings and soon realised it was like a specialty salon. All the customers had quirks of some kind.
One day she wore a backless top, revealing a huge tattoo that covered her entire back. I could tell it was wings, but I couldn’t see the details since I was too far away. I wanted to examine every inch of that tattoo. I wanted to know if it hid her scars. She used to talk about getting a tattoo to cover them.
It had been three days since Jake had shown up at the salon, and I was still a mess. I ended up rescheduling my clients for the rest of the week and barricading myself in the spare room at Piper’s apartment. If Jake knew where I worked, then chances were he knew where I lived. I couldn’t bring myself to go home, so Kade had suggested I stay with them for a few days.
I had told Piper as little as possible when she tried to push for more details the first night I stayed. I could tell she knew I wasn’t telling her everything, but she didn’t push further. That’s another good thing about Piper, she knows when to stop pushing. She did, however, give me one of the Den’s business cards with a number scribbled on the back; I didn’t need to ask her whose number it was. I tried to hand it back to her, but she refused to take it and told me to “just think about it.” So I slipped the card into my pocket, where it has been burning a hole ever since.
I felt bad being the third wheel to Piper and Kade’s little love fest, but they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. Kade usually gets home before Piper and starts making dinner, so tonight I told him to chill on the couch while I made them a thank-you dinner.
While I prepared a simple spaghetti sauce, thoughts of Jake plagued me. I hadn’t stopped thinking about him since our eyes had locked in the Den on Tuesday. What did he want? Had he been searching for me all these years? Had his father succeeded in turning him into a monster like he was? Had he told the family where I was?
I was so deep in thought, I didn’t even notice that the sauce had started to burn and boil over. Kade came running into the kitchen and turned the burner off and poured the now burnt sauce down the sink.
He turned back to me, understanding written all over his handsome face. “Pix, you’ve got a lot on your mind. Let me cook, I enjoy it. It helps me unwind. Why don’t you go watch a movie or something? Piper should be home soon.”
I heaved a sigh; I felt like such a burden on them. I was not this person. “I’m sorry, Kade, really. I’ve just been getting lost in my head the last few days.”
“I know, no need to explain. But you know, if you do want to talk about it, Piper and I are here for you. You know we won’t judge you or the situation,” he said.
I knew they wouldn’t judge me, but they would feel sorry for me. I didn’t want to see the look of pity in their eyes when I told them my story. When I told them my own father used me as an added bonus to seal business deals. He didn’t care what those men did to me, as long as I made them happy and he got his money.
I shook my head, clearing those thoughts from my mind. I hadn’t thought of it for so long. Dwelling on it now wouldn’t do any good. Nothing could change the past, but my future, that I could control. I had been in full control of my life ever since I ran away. Even when I slept in shelters, it was my choice. I could have stayed in a hotel, but I was extra cautious; I knew I had to stay off the radar.
My father kept my bank account fully stocked, it was his way of trying to buy my loyalty to the family. Every time I was sent on a date, another ten grand would show up in my account the next day. I never touched a single cent—that money was dirty and I didn’t want it—until I ran. The first stop I made was the bank. I cleaned out my account before they even knew I was gone. The next was a pharmacy, and then I bounced from one bus to the next until I was sure they couldn’t track me.
I moved around a lot. I stayed in shelters and stuck to the big cities, places where there were so many people I would blend into the crowd.
The front door slamming shut pulled me from my thoughts. I turned around just as Piper walked from the hallway into the kitchen. She walked up to Kade, kissed his cheek, and whispered something in his ear. His jaw tensed as he clenched his teeth. He didn’t say anything back to her though, just shook his head.
Then she turned her attention to me. “We need to talk, chick.” Piper
grabbed my hand and towed me behind her into the lounge area.
“What’s going on?” I asked. She was acting strange.
“You should sit down,” she ordered.
I didn’t argue with her. I stepped back and sat on the couch facing the TV and waited for her to continue.
“I don’t know what went down between you and Jake, but that guy loves you, Pix. You don’t want to give me the details of your past, that’s fine. I understand that some things are better left buried. But I really think you need to talk to him, though. You’re a mess; you haven’t stopped fidgeting for the last three days, and you jump every time a door closes or a phone rings. You need to talk to him so you can move forward.”
I sat there staring at her with a blank expression on my face. Was she right? Should I talk to him? I’d honestly been considering packing my bags and doing a runner. But I didn’t want to have to start over again. I had made good friends here, Piper was my family now. I couldn’t walk away from the life I had built for myself here.
She came and sat down next to me on the couch, placing her hand on my knee. “Pixie, honey, he’s here. Don’t freak out! I told him to come. I’m sorry, honey, I had to. I couldn’t just sit around watching you slowly fall apart. You won’t be alone with him, Kade and I will be right here, or in the kitchen if you’d prefer some privacy.”
Her words had started out slow, but they were running together by the time she finished dropping that bomb on me. He’s here? Piper stayed seated next to me but I saw her gesture to someone behind me. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure it would break out of my chest. I lifted my hand and pressed against it to hold it in.
I couldn’t breathe, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I heaved to pull the air into my starved lungs.
Piper shoved a paper bag over my mouth and instructed me to breathe into it. I did as she said, and my breathing slowly came back to normal. I felt his eyes on me. I lifted my gaze to see him. He stood by the wall, his hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans. A satchel bag was slung across his broad body and a mixture of worry, panic and regret marred his beautiful features.
