by Ramona Gray
“My arm doesn’t hurt at all.” He stopped on the first stair, his body weaving again.
“That’s good. Hold the handrail, please.”
“I’m holding it,” he said, sounding so much like a stubborn little kid that she giggled.
He glanced over his shoulder at her. “I like your laugh.”
“Thank you. Pay attention to the stairs.”
“Why? What are they gonna do?”
She rolled her eyes and patted his lower back. “Hold the handrail and go up the stairs, Cooper.”
“You’re a bossy little thing, aren’t you?” he said but he did what she said.
Holding her breath, she followed him up the stairs, only releasing it when he was safely in the hallway. He weaved his way into the bedroom and collapsed on his bed with a loud sigh. “God, I’m tired.”
She tucked the covers around him and he reached for her hand, his thumb stroking along hers in a gentle caress. “Thank you for taking care of me tonight, Daisy.”
“You’re welcome.”
He yawned, his eyes slipping shut for a few seconds before they popped open. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.”
“I liked kissing you.”
She flushed red, butterflies fluttering around in her belly. He was studying her mouth and a tinge of guilt went through her when he said, “I feel bad that I liked it because it scared you to kiss me.”
“It didn’t scare me,” she said.
He studied her, his eyes glassy and his pupils huge. Confident he wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning, she said, “Kissing you was really nice. It actually helped me to be less afraid.”
His eyelids closed and he started purring loudly. “Anytime you want to try kissing me again to help with the fear, you let me know. My lips are your lips, hot stuff.”
She laughed and he blinked at her before pursing his lips. “Want to try again right now?”
“Not while you’re high on pain pills,” she said.
He scowled in a way that was cute instead of scary. “I’m perfectly lucid.”
“Are you, though?” she said.
“No,” he said in a woe is me voice that made her laugh again.
“I mean it,” he said earnestly before yawning again. “Anytime you want to kiss me, let me know. I’m really good at kissing, you can ask our receptionist at work. I’ve kissed her.”
“All right.” She patted his chest. “Go to sleep, Cooper. I’ll see you tomorrow okay.”
“Okay. Bye, Daisy.”
“Bye, Cooper.” She sat on the side of the bed, waiting until his breathing turned deep and even and his face relaxed. When she was certain he was asleep, she left his room and returned to the kitchen. It was only eight and she set to work cleaning the kitchen.
As terrified as she’d been to come to Cooper’s house, now she was actually enjoying being here. It was a nice house – a thousand times better than her rathole of an apartment – and she had no one to go home to.
As she loaded the dishwasher, she couldn’t help but grin. Never in a million years did she ever think she would be alone in a shifter’s house and cleaning his kitchen. Not only that, but she hadn’t felt a trickle of fear since just before she’d helped Cooper in the shower.
“Progress,” she told the empty kitchen. “I’m making excellent progress.”
Chapter Four
Please, I miss our mate.
“She’s not our mate,” Cooper told his lion for what had to be the millionth time.
His lion growled and whimpered. Cooper grabbed his head as his skull throbbed and ached. It felt like a herd of buffalo was stampeding through his brain and had felt that way for most of the week.
It was the discord between him and his lion. His refusal to give his lion what it wanted was driving the beast mad and giving Cooper a horrific headache in the process. He never thought that going insane would be this painful.
Panic ate at his insides. His lion was going mad and Cooper had no idea what to do about it. His lion’s pacing and prowling and whining for Daisy was a constant chorus in his brain. It blotted out his ability to do anything else.
He couldn’t think past the headache, couldn’t think past the madness that he could taste and smell and see on his lion. He’d seen a cougar shifter go mad once. Had seen what happened when the human side and the shifter side no longer lived in harmony.
He rubbed at his aching temples. The cougar shifter had blown his brains out in front of him and Grayson. Cooper would forever live with the memory of the blood and brain matter splattered on the wall.
He shuddered all over. That couldn’t happen to him, it wouldn’t happen to him. He just needed to keep doing what he’d been doing all week – reminding his lion that she wasn’t his mate and avoiding Daisy. Which, frankly, was a real challenge this week. Normally, Daisy was remarkably self-sufficient, but she’d come by his office multiple times a day this entire week asking questions he was pretty sure she already knew the answer to. It made it almost impossible for him to think clearly or act normally. He had to constantly stop his lion from trying to rub up against her and mark her.
I miss her.
He soothed his lion as he paced back and forth in his office. He missed Daisy too. Of course he did. He’d sat alone in his house every night this week, sitting on his couch and staring at the chair where Daisy had sat. He couldn’t even distract himself with TV. Not when he’d gotten used to watching TV with Daisy. It was ridiculous, but his goddamn lion had convinced itself that Daisy making him dinner every night and then watching TV with him for a couple of hours meant she thought of him as her mate.
It didn’t mean that. They had barely even talked after that first night for God’s sake. He’d wanted to talk to her, wanted to find out everything he could about her, but afraid to do anything that might scare her, he’d tried to follow her lead. And she hadn’t seemed inclined to talk that much.
He rubbed his right shoulder. It was aching slightly, but he’d only had to wear the sling for a week. The rumours about shifters having instant healing powers weren’t true, but they did seem to heal a little faster than humans did. The doctor had given him a clean bill of health on Friday and he couldn’t get rid of the sling fast enough.
He continued to pace. He should have kept the sling. Daisy had shown up at his place Friday night after work, just like she’d been doing all week, but as soon as she’d seen him without his sling, she hadn’t stayed.
His lion whined loudly, its mournful cry making Cooper clench his teeth as his guts churned.
She didn’t stay because we scare her. That’s why she’s not our mate, he told his lion. She’s afraid of us and she always will be.
Stop lying!
His lion’s angry roar made Cooper flinch.
Stop lying about our mate! She isn’t afraid of us anymore!
“She isn’t as afraid of us,” Cooper said to his empty office. “And only because we were extra careful not to move too quickly or stand too close. But she’s still afraid. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. We need to find another mate.”
His lion growled but the sudden apathy in it made Cooper extremely nervous.
He sat down at his desk and opened the bottom drawer, staring at the half-started granny square lying in the drawer. Normally crocheting soothed both him and his lion, but he had no desire for the hobby that used to make him happy.
He had no desire for anything but Daisy. He rubbed absently at his right shoulder again. He’d been careful to wait until Daisy left each night before taking pain pills. Especially after what happened that first night. He still couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said to her after they’d kicked in. He had a bad feeling that he’d confessed to not only his love of crocheting, but his love of kissing her too.
He closed his eyes, trying his hardest to remember exactly what he’d said to Daisy, but the whining restlessness of his lion made it impossible.
There was a knock on his office
door before it opened. He stared blankly at Grayson. The tiger shifter was his best friend and trying to keep his impending insanity from Gray was becoming more and more difficult. Grayson wanted to come by last night to watch the football game with him, but Cooper had refused. He couldn’t act normal for that long. It was too exhausting to even try.
“Hey, what’s up?” he said.
Grayson frowned. “You wanted to meet with me about the Henson file.”
“Did I?”
“Yeah. It’s in the calendar,” Grayson said.
“Right.” He rubbed at his forehead. “Can we reschedule?”
“Coop, are you okay?” Grayson said.
“Fine. Just a headache.”
“It is only a headache or is it -”
“I said I’m fine!” He growled at Grayson as fur sprouted on his cheeks. “Mind your own fucking business for once.”
Shame immediately flooded through him. He forced his angry lion to retreat and said, “Gray, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -”
“It’s okay,” Grayson said. Cooper hated the cautious way he was staring at him. “What are your plans for tonight? Why don’t you come over to our house and have dinner with us? Ryan’s making ribs and -”
“Nah, I can’t. I’ve got plans,” Cooper said. That was a lie. Unless sitting at home and trying to ignore his lion’s growing insanity counted as plans.
“Cooper -”
“Can you go, Grayson? I have some work I need to finish. Talk to Daisy about rescheduling our meeting, okay?”
Grayson hesitated before nodding. “Yeah, okay.”
He left Cooper’s office, closing the door behind him. Cooper leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes as his lion paced ceaselessly within him.
* * *
Daisy hesitated outside of Cooper’s office. She rested her hand on the doorknob before pulling it back. God, what was she doing? More importantly, why was she doing it? This weird compulsion to come up with every excuse in the book to see him was, at best, going to be super noticeable by the others in the office if it wasn’t already, and at worst, get her fired for being incompetent at her job.
Asking a million questions she already knew the answers to might get her close to Cooper, might feed her sudden craving to be near him, but it would also land her in serious trouble if she didn’t knock it off. She lived paycheque to paycheque. If she got fired and didn’t find another job immediately…
She shuddered, thinking about the homeless people that lived in a tent city situation only a few blocks from her apartment building. Her apartment might be crappy and scary and possibly on the verge of collapse from mold and water damage, but it was better than being completely homeless.
More importantly, her inner voice whispered, why are you so determined to be around someone who scares the living hell out of you?
Cooper would never hurt me.
Her inner voice scoffed so loudly she was surprised Cooper didn’t hear it through his office door. Are you really that naïve? After everything you’ve been through, you still believe that a shifter might be good? That Cooper wouldn’t hurt you the first chance he got?
If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have taken this job to try and get over my fear, would I have? she snapped back.
You’re playing a dangerous game. One that’s gonna get you killed. Cooper and Wes and Grayson and all the other shifters in this office are dangerous. It’s like you want to be murdered by shifters.
Her heart pounding, she moved away from Cooper’s door, her limbs jerking along like a marionette whose strings were tangled tight. She didn’t have a death wish, she just needed to get over her fear of shifters. She couldn’t keep living life this way. That was why she was trying to spend more time with Cooper. That was why she volunteered to cook him dinner every night last week while he was recovering. It was taking much longer than she thought to conquer her fear. By spending extra time with her boss, she was moving along her own self-therapy.
Or you’re really fucking horny and want to get laid.
Inner Daisy almost recoiled in horror at that errant thought. Becoming friends with a shifter was one thing, but sleeping with one? No fucking way.
Oh yeah? Then why do you keep thinking about the kisses you shared? And what about that weird sex dream you had about him two nights ago?
Her cheeks turned scarlet and she hurried down the hallway, almost half convinced that just by thinking about her sex dream in the office, Cooper would somehow find out. She’d woken from the dream both horny and terrified, and certain she was losing her damn mind.
She needed to step back from Cooper and find a different shifter to try and be friends with. One she wasn’t possibly, maybe, sexually attracted to, which was really freaking her out because she never once imagined she’d be attracted to a shifter.
Although, maybe sleeping with a shifter was the way to get over her fear. Like, a total immersion/exposure thing. It would be kind of hard to be terrified of Cooper if he’d given her multiple orgasms, right? She thought about his big hands, about the way it had felt when he’d cupped her face and kissed her. God, he was a good kisser. Sure, it had been a little scary kissing him, but when he’d touched her tongue with his, it had…
Enough! You’re not sleeping with him. Stay away from him. Something weird is going on with him lately. He’s acting strange.
She wanted to pretend her inner voice was wrong, but… well, it wasn’t. Cooper was acting weird lately. There was something off about him. He’d seemed mostly normal when he returned to work on Monday, if not a little distant, but with each day that passed, he got… weirder. The other day, she’d sworn he was talking to himself as he stood at the copier. And as much as she was suddenly trying to see more of him, she couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that he was trying to avoid her. Not that he’d spent all that much time with her before, but he’d always been nice to her and often asked her to help him with his ongoing computer issues. And she’d thought that after spending every evening with him last week, their tentative friendship would continue at the office.
How wrong she’d been.
He hadn’t asked her even once to help fix his computer this week, and she was pretty sure she saw Lusa helping him yesterday. Hurt weaved its way into her stomach and she berated herself immediately. What did she care if Cooper didn’t want to spend time with her anymore? He was her boss and that was it.
Thinking she should try and be friends with him, or even more crazy – have sex with him – was insanity on her part.
“Cooper’s getting worse.”
Boone’s low voice stopped her in her tracks. She crept forward a few steps and leaned against the wall outside of the boardroom. The door was partially open, and she strained to hear. Listening in on private conversations wasn’t something she normally did, but she couldn’t seem to get her feet to keep moving. Her suspicions about Cooper were true, and she needed to know what was wrong.
Maybe she could help him.
“He’s okay.” Grayson’s voice was only slighter louder than Boone’s.
“He isn’t, man. I know you want to think he is, but he’s not,” Boone said.
“He’s stressed out right now. He needs a few days off to -”
“It’s more than that, Gray.”
This time it was Wes speaking and his voice was so close to the half-open door, that Daisy held her breath. Shit, he would smell her soon. She knew he would. Still, she couldn’t move. She had to know.
“His lion is going mad,” Wes said. “If we don’t do something soon, it’ll be too late.”
“What are we supposed to do?” Gray said. The worry in his voice made Daisy’s stomach churn. “We can’t make her have sex with him.”
“No, but maybe we could talk to her,” Boone said. “Tell her about the mate thing and what it’s doing to Cooper.”
“Are you serious?” Grayson said. “How do you think that conversation will go? Hmm? You think we can walk up to her and just say, ‘Oh, hey, Daisy.
We know you’re terrified of shifters, but Coop’s lion believes you’re his mate and if you don’t have sex with him, he’s going to descend into madness and never recover.’ Yeah, that will go over real well, Boone.”
The breath Daisy had been holding leaked out of her lungs in irregular and patchy sips. Cooper thought she was his mate?
Duh, he called you his mate that day at the coffee shop.
Yeah, because he was playing a part. One you forced him to play because you were being your usual terrified self. He called you his mate because you introduced him as your boyfriend, remember?
“Maybe we can think of a more polite way to say it,” Boone said.
“Oh my God, Boone, there is no polite way to tell our goddamn receptionist that if she doesn’t fuck the boss, he’s going to go mad and we’ll have to put him down like a rabid dog,” Gray said.
“Calm down, Gray,” Wes said.
“Don’t tell me to calm down. This is my best friend we’re talking about, Wes. He’s going crazy and there isn’t anything we can do about it. We’ll never convince Daisy to fuck Cooper.”
“Maybe if we fired Daisy…” Boone said hesitantly.
“We can’t,” Wes said. “The only thing that’s stopped him from going insane already is being around Daisy at work. He’s gotten so much worse so quickly because she was spending more time with him when his arm was still in that sling. Daisy went to his place every night and cooked him dinner. His lion got used to it and now that he’s recovered and she’s not at his house every day, his lion’s losing his grip on reality.”
“This fucking mate thing is such bullshit,” Boone snarled. “Cooper is the strongest guy I know and he’s going to be taken down because a woman doesn’t love him. It’s not fucking fair.”
“We have to do something,” Grayson said. “You guys are right, he’s getting worse. I didn’t want to admit it, but he is. I wanted to go over to his place last night and he wouldn’t let me. He’s getting twitchy and weird and -”
“He spends most of his time talking to his lion,” Boone said grimly. “His pupils are almost always slits now. We have to talk to Daisy.”
