by Kalyn Crowe
"What?"
He chewed and chewed.
"I swear you're gnawing air now."
He sighed. "Yesterday, Conrad asked about who you 'three' were."
"I thought you were talking with Gunnar then."
"You also thought I was sleeping, at first."
I tightened my lips and looked sidelong at him.
Tilly came and went from the forest with sticks and twigs for a nest.
He said, "Do you think she is, you know, I mean I feel like she's a person, but like a human in there, with memories?"
We both glanced at her.
She foraged around in silence, but her movements came in short bursts, twitchy, nervous.
I said, "I can't say about the memories, but yes."
He reached toward the little bag of sugar. "May I?"
"Sure."
He held a cube out. "Lady Tempest?"
She stepped down, sat on her back paws, and took it with her fore-talons. She cooed and nibbled on it.
"That trick she used to move you, Mere. I bet that's why Philomena named her Kepi."
"She didn't mention it in her journal. My mother doesn't talk much about her at all."
"How about Odion?" he said.
I chewed another bite of cheese. "No."
"But?"
"I don't know. I get the sense that Kepi is different from him."
He snorted. "Well yeah."
"I mean beyond how they look."
"No, I know." He glanced at Tilly.
"What will you do if she is a person, with feelings and all?" I said.
"Then." He chuckled a little and drew a knee up to his chest. "You think you're safe when you talk to animals, and Tilly seemed to listen, to care." He wrapped his arm around his leg. "No one else did."
I gave Kepi a few pets, and she curled up beside me.
He said, "You think she's a girl, like in her head, too?"
"You would know better than I would."
He hugged his leg tighter. "I think so, but I feel bad for whoever got trapped in a chicken-lizard body."
I nodded. "Is that it? You feel bad for her?" I shot him a sly grin.
He sneered beside himself. "Apex, you're weird."
"It's why you seemed so unsure when you said you liked all the girls when I met you. Right?"
"I guess, maybe, I mean come on, it's not a physical attraction. I'm a pretty open-minded guy but not that open."
"I'm sorry, this is serious, I shouldn't tease you."
"We're friends. I tease you all the time." He relaxed his leg and leaned back on his hand. "I guess it's like I know whoever is in that body, is special. I want to know her as she would want if that makes sense."
Kepi cooed quietly.
"Plus, I want to understand why she's in a non-human body in the first place. Your parents had to do this, right?" He didn't seem mad, but frustrated, confused.
Leyla sat down by us with a jar of pickles. "They had a good reason, I'm sure." She cracked the lid.
I didn't agree with her.
"Don't look like that, Mere, it isn't your fault." Rhys drank from his waterskin.
"I worry she was a test for my creation." I said, "But it seems like Tilly was our parents' turning point."
Tilly approached, she probably eavesdropped this whole time.
I said, "We don't know why, or if there's more to it, but we'll fix it all and try not to make the same mistakes."
"That's right." Leyla slowly smiled.
"Leyla, can I ask you something personal?" Rhys didn't make eye contact but instead fiddled with a stick.
Tilly tried to pull on the other end.
When he looked over, Leyla answered.
"Sure. I think." She giggled and tossed Tilly a pickle.
She snatched it from the air.
"I'm sitting here talking about how trapped Tilly is, but you sorta are, too. Doesn't it make you angry you can't invoke?"
Her face didn't grow sad but thoughtful. She looked up at the stars. "I guess it doesn't. Maybe I do, in a way, with the scroll. I'm not sure. Most warded or silenced invokers suffer a range of mental health issues. Agitation and random anger being the most widespread ones."
I knew the feeling. "That's one reason I wanted so badly to go to college."
Leyla said, "I know it can get terrible to where Attuned kill themselves or go mad."
Rhys nodded along. "The templars get called to orphanages or the new schools for it from time to time." He lowered his eyes. "So, don't you resent Kat?"
Her scroll hung unlit for long seconds. "I suppose a little." It became blank again for another few moments. "Only because she got to apprentice with my mother."
He said, "She hid it so well, but you know, I think Gunnar knew. Not that she told him."
"I'm not sure I'd have the same willpower. To keep quiet, I mean." I picked out a pickle. "She didn't brag about her skills, or what she knew. Even how she worked with such a talented Apexist like your mother." I realized I admired such humility. "She's free from her bloodline. Free from the mandatory invoker education and recruitment. All because she keeps her pride in check."
"I wouldn't have cared about the mandatory recruitment if my master was my mother; I don't think." Leyla traced long, curved lines in the dirt with another stick. "Do you wish that, too?" She looked over. "To have apprenticed with your mother?"
"Well, I'd never thought about it. I don't think Philomena trained with hers. Maybe that's why."
She nodded.
"I guess I fixated on becoming an Order Invoker by any means I could. To try to get out of the hole of being a heretic child and my ward." It was shameful. I touched Leyla's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be complaining."
"They used to cut off Weaver's hands. The ward might have let me talk, but I can still do that with handshapes or this." She tapped the edge of her scroll as it hovered near her shoulder.
We set our bedrolls around the fire in a triangle. Rhys suggested we break who was on watch into three turns and volunteered for the second one.
Leyla said she would take first.
He drifted off to sleep as if we stayed in a high-class inn on feather beds with warm blankets.
Tilly slumbered next to him without issue.
I shivered with Kepi curled around my head. My eyes wandered to Leyla, who stood away from the fire and faced out toward the stream.
A rustle from my side made me jump.
Tilly blinked, looked at Leyla, and then blinked again at me. She walked over and sat beside Leyla's feet. Maybe she worried Leyla wouldn't see the danger in the dark until too late.
Kepi's ears twitched in my hair.
I closed my eyes, happy to know they watched and listened. Leyla would be safe.
I woke as they switched watches, and she settled into her bedroll. Her head near mine, she peeked up.
"Wake me up Rhys, don't be a hero," I said and smiled at Leyla.
He stretched and yawned. "Don't worry about that." He tilted a fresh log on to the fire.
Tilly yawned, her nest still empty.
I turned on my side and watched as the embers grew back into flames. The fire staved off death at the cost of the once alive wood.
An icy spike of anxiety, of reality, kept me awake.
I wasn't for this world. Not for Leyla, or anyone. My fate laid with the end.
What right did I have to go back and leave Thirteen alone for another stretch of decades?
I couldn't leave Tilly in that body, but what would that take?
Kepi sat down right in my face. Those black eyes tunneled on forever in the night's dim.
They told me to stop.
To sleep.
To get ready.
28 - Mirrors
The next day we continued along the stream. It widened and grew in strength, and so did my hope we were close.
The memory from the charm left no clue for distance, and the map became useless.
This path felt right, but the sha
dows grew long.
Drab lichens turned into dark green moss. A few colorful mushrooms sprouted out of fallen logs and hid under low ferns. The forest rose on either side of us, but the stream-side path continued downward.
The small valley we found ourselves in grew steeper. Trickles of water ran through rocks and exposed old roots. Each fed the little river.
The city sat high behind us in miniature. I could block it from sight with my hand and only when it sneaked between the trees.
I hoped the others still hid away safe.
Rhys pointed ahead. "Look. There's an even patch. It even has some grass on it. Tomorrow might be the final leg, but for now, I wouldn't mind resting my own." He grinned.
I groaned. "How do you still have the energy for jokes?"
Leyla bumped into him and signed, "Sorry." Then she walked to the cozy green area.
The last light of the sun disappeared between the trees.
The others stopped, but I continued in quiet along the river's length. In a few steps, I stood alone with Kepi. "We're almost there, aren't we?"
She cooed softly.
"Should we go?" I whispered.
She sniffed and appeared to consider this. She surveyed the trees and then the water before she looked back and said nothing.
"I suppose you can't know everything."
She cocked her head, her ears drooped, and she cooed low.
"Philomena wanted me to come here. She left Thirteen as bait as much as a guardian. That seems so unfair. Was that what she felt she must do? What she wanted forgiveness for, or was it for Tilly?"
To my surprise, Kepi cooed again and followed it with little chirps.
Footsteps came from behind.
I startled.
"Sorry." The scroll glowed. "I worried when I turned around and didn't see you."
"I got distracted. Sorry, I mean, I'm sorry, too." I pushed my hair away from my face.
"Mere," she said and came over and took my hands. "Don't do anything stupid."
I looked at her and then the ground.
The golden glow caught my eye.
"I knew it. I knew you were thinking about it." She squeezed. "Don't. I want to go with you. The truth is important to me, too, remember?"
I could not reconcile the want to be near her and the charm's unspoken warning to not bring her.
When our eyes met, she said, "You're important to me."
"Then you can understand why I don't want to risk you. I don't know if Thirteen will welcome us, if she's gone feral, or if there are other traps." After all, Philomena didn't risk Sybil.
Despite the bag and pack, she hugged me. "I'm going to tie a bell to you in the night." She held my hand and practically dragged me back to camp.
Around the fire, we spoke about simpler things.
Crickets played a song from behind the trees and under the ferns. The river splashed and rippled over its rocks behind a sheer wall of stone. It's smooth surface guarded the other side of our little meadow and reflected the fire's heat.
Leyla set my bed near it. "So you stay warmest."
"You don't have to do that."
"I know." She smoothed out the bed role. "Tomorrow will test you most. You have Kat's necklace handy?"
"Yes."
Rhys stretched. "Same watches."
"Are you sure?" she said. "Second shift seems awful."
He raised his eyebrows and frowned. It stretched his expression into an exaggerated 'no big deal' face. "I've done templar training. Long marches. Little food. Less sleep." He brushed off his shoulder.
Tilly warbled.
"All the impressed ladies." He winked and touched her head. "Hey." He looked over at Kepi. "Is she around my age?"
I scratched my neck, and Leyla covered her face.
Kepi cooed short and cute.
"Rhys," I said.
"Shh."
"Seriously," I tried again, "Kepi hasn't aged a day, I'm not sure she has a concept of it."
He touched his forehead, leaned back, and said, "Let her lie to me." Then he peeked under his fingers. "Or she's not." He winked and slipped into his sleeping bag.
Tilly snuggled up beside him.
He said, "I don't care if you're a chicken lizard; you're still more fun than Mere."
She flapped her wings and looked from him to me.
Kepi cooed in a long, swooped note.
I faked a glare. "Traitor."
She wrapped her tail around my shoulders and preened my hair.
Leyla sat beside me and patted my leg.
At that moment, the weight of our mission fell away. Someone could mistake us for a bunch of friends on a camp. We set up in unmapped lands outside our country, with a Chimera, well, two, an Apexial, and a magical scroll, but still.
The thought pushed the next day further away.
As I snuggled into my sleeping bag, a thought came. The Voclains and Philomena made Tilly only a year before me. A baby soul, or, wait, the disk imbuements hadn't aged. If Tilly was someone trapped inside, she very well could be right around Rhys's age.
Kepi was right.
✽✽✽
Crickets quieted. The birds began their songs. Dawn crept through the forest, and sunlight shot over the narrow river. It stretched long fingers of soft light across our patch of grass.
Kepi perched on a branch and watched the sunrise with no wonder on her face, only determination. She knew that today, the world changed.
The others woke with a few groans and yawns. Leyla washed her face in the river and perked right up.
I packed up camp how someone would if they intended to store their items for the season. Maybe I wanted to steal a few more moments. I didn't know.
It gave time to wonder if no one followed this stream before. We weren't so far from the city. For Philomena to hide an enormous magical construct like the Grand Counterbalance, she needed some unknown trick. The same for Thirteen.
Kepi still sat on the branch with her vision fixed on something in the distance.
"You almost ready, Mere?" Rhys poured water over the fire and stirred the ash and little wood chunks around. It hissed and bellowed steam. He repeated the process.
I watched. An answer didn't come. Not to me.
Kepi cooed crisp.
"I'll try not to prove her wrong," I said.
Leyla tied up her pack. Kat's black jacket hung around her body. It let the new sun glint off the buttons of her blouse.
We traveled along the river and continued downhill. At times, the decline in elevation caused little waterfalls. We scrambled down short rocky slopes. Near the tallest falls, we held onto bare roots and slippery rocks.
After another half-day, we emerged from the trees. An open swath of stone with sparse grass and wildflowers spread out before us — the sky sprawled above. Ahead, the river filtered into an inky, round lake in the softest ripples.
We arrived.
Old, gnarled trees found purchase on the cliffs around the water. One stood alone at the base of a notable outcrop. "I'll head over there." I pointed to it. "You two should stay close or turn back."
Leyla and Rhys stepped closer.
Tilly led us. She walked low and kept her eyes high.
A golden twinkle sparked in the water.
Leyla's scroll was dark.
I said, "There's something in there."
They nodded.
Tilly stopped by the tree on the outcrop. The smooth stone formed a natural pier over part of the mirror lake.
I set my things down by the tree and dusted off my coat. "Stay here."
Kepi looked at the others and cooed.
"All right, but we have your back." Rhys tensed and loosened his hands.
The golden light appeared again in the water. Except now, there were two.
I sucked in a breath but kept on my path to the end of the stone.
Each light's outer edge turned upward, how eyes changed when someone smiled.
I edged to the end of the outcrop.<
br />
A bubble rose to the surface and continued through the air as slow as it traveled below. It stopped head high. The curved surface reflected me as a giant among the magnificent cliffs.
For whatever reason, I poked it.
It popped and emitted a curious giggle.
I looked back down and realized I lost the lights.
Kepi hopped down from my shoulder and peeked over the edge. She wrestled with her necklace and looked up.
I took it off. "Is it Thirteen?"
She cooed and pulled at the charm.
"I think I understand." The strings which tied it to her necklace broke with a decent pull. I held it over the edge.
Kepi twirled.
I dropped it. Tiny bubbles rose as it sank into the lake.
I replaced Kepi's necklace around her and hummed the Chimera song.
Soon I heard no other noise. No wind, no water.
Time raced in this still moment. Then, a spark of red flashed within the inky water.
Its surface bowed upward in an impossible way. From the hill of water, two shapes appeared, pointed with tufts of white feathers.
The water lowered with a magical slowness. It revealed the feathers blended into iridescent dark scales over a head the size of me. It held a gorgeous woman's face shaped out of silver skin. Her bright and golden eyes blinked open. She came out of the water dry and only to her shoulders.
Her eyes came level to mine. "So, it is you." The vowel sounds were all held a bit too long as if she sang them. "You have come back to me."
The voice from my dream.
Her smile revealed both ivory fangs and human teeth.
"I." I tried to swallow and sort my mind. "I'm not sure I am whom you think I am. I never really knew you."
Her smile stayed, but her head relaxed toward her shoulder. "It is you who is not sure you are who you think." Her song-like voice played with each word.
"I'm Meredith, or well, I'm Fourteen."
Her smiled changed into a grin, and she wiggled higher out of the water.
Black arches of shadow bowed up and over her shoulders, like wings made of the darkest fog. She lifted her arms, again dry, feline-shaped but with epaulets of shiny dark feathers. Smooth black fur and more feathers grew in length toward her wrists. It looked as if she wore a silk dress with bell sleeves. Elegant taloned human fingers extended from her silver hands.
