by Kalyn Crowe
"I want to, but I have to do what I must."
He held my hand. "I will see you again, no matter what. You as well, Lady Tempest."
She cooed softly.
He let go and navigated the stones to the ground. Once he reached the exit, he looked back and covered his heart, then left.
I stood by the cone with Kepi in my arms. Her black wound already started to heal. "Not an Apexial, not a girl. We're quite the pair."
She looked up, her eyes pitch black again, and cooed.
A sudden spark of fiery gold came from the edge of the cone nearest the Apex portal.
I never mended a seal. Weavers created them as a whole, and they died as a whole. Travere removed my Attunement from part of it, and it, well, the nearest pillar didn't unravel; it melted.
The Abyss orb struggled toward the door to Apex and pulled the cone out of shape. The portal grew in size and, in turn, tore the Apex cone.
A cycle of collapse caused by a few ripped threads. One which wouldn't finish with closure, but with the portals huge and unprotected.
I pulled from Apex. Filaments flowed down from the portal's edge. Like vines who searched for the sun, the threads dipped and darted at gaps in the seal. I tried to combine them, but each patch failed in a shower of sparks.
I pulled Apex filaments as tethers to the Abyss orb, but the more I tried, the faster it neared the portal.
"What do I do?"
Kepi pulled at the lapel on my jacket.
"The disk?"
I slipped it from the jacket and into my blouse, against my skin.
Kepi crawled up and perched on my shoulder.
If I danced with the stones around the chamber right, I could repair the cone. Doing so would, in theory, correct any damage to the Capstone Seal back in Pinnacle.
"At least, I hope so."
A soft silver glow radiated in my fingers as I moved from stone to stone. I spiraled and wrapped the filaments around the injured Apex cone.
Silver bled through the Woven lace as it flowed from my hand. My heart labored the dying blood through my veins.
A rumble started around the cave.
In haste, I wrapped layers upon layers of Apex around the decayed old shape. Only after did I notice this severed the connection to the pillars.
The Abyss orb stabilized.
I smiled, but the filaments of Apex pulled at each finger, still. "I can't let go, how did I hold these in place, they weren't attached to the Abyss ball."
Kepi pulled at my collar.
I turned to where she indicated. "The pillars?"
She cooed firmly.
Like repels like. The web that was between the cone and pillars channeled a delicate balance of magnetism. I kept one hand out to hold the cone. With the other, I Wove thick filaments onto the tree-like supports of the pillars.
The sound of bells rang out as the weight of the original seal fell into the second cone's tip. The impact of so much Apex in one place warped the new pillars, and they too bled the old. A chorus of chimes and vibrations filled the cave.
I tried to build a castle out of dust.
"Kepi, I can't do this." I latched on to as many parts of the seal as I could. Ten filaments from Apex shot through me and rebounded out. I tried to pull the pillars straight again and hold the new cone.
Starlight filled my veins.
A cough rattled my ribs as I fought for my next breath.
What would happen when I died this time? Here in Phase no less. Is there enough of me left in this disk, will my work stay?
My efforts changed the Counterbalance. It seemed alive.
Alive and with a will to bloom.
All six pillars unfurled along their length in unison. They melded into a cylinder that lined the chamber's circumference. Already at the ceiling, it grew long and disappeared through the ground.
The cone split apart like a flower of sunlight, and the Abyss orb floated upward.
In the beautiful disarray, the portal to Apex opened wider. Its edges bled down the new cylinder's walls, and the sphere deformed into a blot of ink on a picture of summer.
A green meadow below a soft blue sky with feather clouds slid down around us. Upward rings of other fields and forests ascended out of sight.
Floral notes filled the air.
"We're in Apex."
Kepi cooed whisper-like.
I peered over the side of our stone, and there a darkened world spiraled down. Coral shapes and tunnels slithered through smoothed, almost glass-like stone. Sulfurous gas bubbled out of indigo waters. In the middle, the grand Apex orb sunk.
"We can see Abyss?"
Kepi flicked her tail, and her eyes flickered again.
"Zöv," said the same voice from before. The same tone, crisp and sharp.
Abyss flooded upward, as Apex floated downward. They met in a wash of white and a chorus of chimes below us.
The gilded ribbons I grappled with floated from the tips of my fingers. They moved and spun around Kepi and me like seaweed in a calm tide.
I fell to my knees.
Kepi sat on the stone before me and cocked her head.
I couldn't will my legs to move.
The disk gave me no more strength, but the glow stayed, my hair caught the bright white as I collapsed.
A beautiful night sky, clear, and filled with stars grew from where the planes mixed. So different, but together, they created something magical.
This gorgeous sky filled the cylinder, all around, until it was everything.
I smiled and almost didn't notice the next breath didn't come. The stone felt soft under my head.
The stars were perfect on their infinite black.
Then, they vanished.
33 - Comes Light
It stayed dark for time immeasurable.
Moments or weeks. They passed all the same.
That was until soft dawn lines crossed my face. Everything blurred as my vision came and left. I let myself sleep again.
"Girl?"
Warm, firm hands felt my wrists and neck. Nothing hurt. They lifted my head and gave me a sip of water.
"Did she wake?" said Conrad.
"I thought so, but she needs time. She should be dead," said Kat. "I heal her the best I can every day."
He said, "She knows."
A door opened. Another familiar voice followed. "Kat, here's more water. The salt you wanted and birdseed. Uh, let me see." Rhys's voice. "Here, sir, pipe tobacco and rum."
The rattle of goods and coins exchanged followed.
"Thank you, lad."
Rhys said, "Did you say she's awake?" A weight lowered the corner of the bed.
A scratch of nails came from the same direction the door opened. Tilly squawked.
Conrad said, "Come in, Lady Travere."
"People call me Kat, not Lady Katonga." Her voice traveled around the bed as she spoke. "'Tilly' is cuter than 'Travere.'" She sighed. "Especially now."
Tilly sniffed nearby.
The weight on the bed shifted. Tilly felt further away. "Does she smell funny?" said Rhys.
Then one of the most welcome sounds came as Kepi cooed.
I smiled.
"Look." Rhys poked my cheek.
A slap sounded above my face.
"Ow, Kat, come on, she's alive."
"Boy, go tell Eda she's responsive."
The weight bounced off the bed. "If Mere wakes up before I get back, tell her she looks awful."
I snorted.
"Wait, are you playing dead?" He leaned on the bed.
I nodded.
It sounded like he jumped. "I'll be back with Eda."
A nibble came through the blanket on my leg. Tilly nestled on the bed.
Kat put her hands on both sides of my ribs. "Vivify." She cleared her throat after.
I wrapped my hand around her arm. "Stop. I'm fine." My voice came out like gravel.
Conrad stood near. "Mere?"
I blinked an eye open.
His
blurry, bearded image looked down. It lowered as he knelt.
I said, "We did it."
He sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve. "You did."
I reached over. "I'm glad you're here."
He wrapped my hand in his.
"Ansgar. Did he make it?" I said.
"He did. I wish I could have seen the look on Bora's face when he arrived on Thirteen. He insisted on our safe passage to tell his story. He didn't' remember how Travere abducted him, but we assume he controlled the Abyssite."
I nodded. Even the smallest movement reminded me of how stiff I was.
Conrad added, "Ansgar's words came as more than a shock to everyone. Spiritists even now question Theocratic Council members, humanely mind you. One part of the pursuit of Travere."
I coughed. "Pursuit?"
Kat wiped my forehead with a damp cloth. "We looked everywhere in Pinnacle and sent word to the cities. We assume he's left the country."
A little blurred shadow sat on the windowsill — Kat's blackbird.
"Travere has gone unseen for some time before this. We realize now he likely secured a location for his work, and, of course, we don't know where." Conrad tried to contain his frustration. "Ansgar was here this morning. He's visited every day, even while taking charge of the whole damn Order in the search for Travere. Every Formist is tracking with all the hunters I can spare."
"Even Sybil?" I said.
"She leads the entire invoker force now." He paused. "And she wishes to speak to you when you can."
"Of course." I cleared my throat and steeled myself for the answer to the question I was about to ask. "What about Leyla?"
"She lives," he said.
We looked at one another for a quiet moment.
Kat raised her hand. "Let her rest until Eda comes."
He nodded and returned to his chair but scooted it closer.
"How long have I been here?" I asked.
"Almost two weeks." She lifted her hand at Conrad again.
He said, "She should know the rest."
Kat sat in a chair with a dark shape over the back. I'd never seen her not wear her jacket. She crossed her arms and took a deep breath. "As Conrad mentioned, your twin delivered Rhys, Leyla, Tilly, and Ansgar here. We found you with Kepi," she said and stopped a moment, "You were in the courtyard by the Maw."
I squinted. "Where the Capstone is? Is it still there?"
Neither of them spoke.
Eda stood in the doorway. "You seem more a cat than a spider, Lady Tash."
Even now, the sound of that name made me wary, but no, I no longer needed to fear it.
She came closer and laughed a little. "Leyla will visit when she can. Thank you for all you did. My family, my girl." She glanced down. "I mean everything you have done." She leaned in and slipped her arms around me. "Now and then."
I hugged her as best I could.
"Ansgar wears the necklace you gave him. You did so well." She sighed and stood up. Her monocles chimed against their chain.
I rested a little more relaxed on my pillow.
She said, "Ansgar and our friends have not told anyone of your being, your body. We think it is for the best it stays a secret, given the circumstances." She pointed to the bedstand.
My disk sat there by several candles. A web-like ribbon of white shimmered across the surface. It wasn't empty like the charm.
Eda looked at Conrad. "What have you told her?"
He gestured with both his hands at Kat. "The good doctor doesn't want to get into details right now."
I propped myself up on an elbow. "Is the Maw open? I tried to heal the damage Travere caused to the Counterbalance." I coughed.
Kat propped me up with more pillows. "Easy."
"I had no idea he could take my Attunement from the Counterbalance and use it to, well, melt my work."
Everyone looked surprised.
Conrad said, "Ansgar told us about it, but I didn't expect you to call it yours."
I shut my eyes. "In any case, I keep failing to stop Travere whether or not I'm the same person."
Eda's soft hand took mine. "The Maw is not open, not to us."
Kepi cooed song-like.
I touched her head and couldn't even find a scar. "At least there's that." I relaxed.
Conrad said, "I wouldn't worry about Travere going back to the Counterbalance."
I looked over.
He eyed Kat quickly and said, "When you are back on your feet, I will show you. The Maw is secure, but things have changed."
"All right then."
Kepi preened my hair.
Conrad said, "And you needn't hide you're a Weaver or Kepi any longer. Ansgar's testimony exonerated Philomena and the Voclains, for now."
"For now?"
"A Spiritist verified his story. Additionally, Sybil found that Travere created the Form amulet used to find your Attunement; this is not enough. The Order will not absolve our families' records until a Spiritist questions Travere." Eda leaned on the back of Conrad's chair.
"I brought the, whatever this is." Gunnar entered the room with something at arm's length.
Kat stood and took it. As she came near, I smelled something savory.
I squinted.
Gunnar bowed. "Lady Tash."
Kat said, "Here. I've been feeding you this. It might be hard to stomach awake." She held a glass close enough to see the thick rusty liquid it contained. "Try." She set another pillow behind me.
Bodies are strange things. Mine decided this meaty concoction was a delicious health potion.
Rhys came back and watched. He said, "That's so gross. I'm glad you're still you." He sat on the bed again.
I smiled and laid my head back.
He added, "Who you are, it hasn't changed, you know?"
"To you." I closed my eyes.
Kepi curled up by my neck, but Tilly warbled and laid her head on my thigh, too.
Rhys pulled up my blanket a little and touched my hand. "Anyone can see you'll always try your damnedest, and we'll always have your back."
I smiled. "You promise?"
Tilly warbled.
"I do, too," he said.
I sighed and let my eyes shut.
✽✽✽
The next day, my vision cleared. No one else but Kepi and Tilly waited in the room when I woke this time. On the wall hung my white jacket, mustard free, and pressed.
Tilly raised her head and cocked it. Her wing looked much better.
"Did Thirteen heal you?"
She bobbed her head up and down. Then she shied away.
"You protected Leyla. Don't worry about not being there at the Counterbalance." I stared at the ceiling. "I should tell Rhys the same."
She perked up and warbled.
"You should know your brother is scared of you."
She came over and buried her head beside mine.
I put an arm around her. "I promise to get you a human-type body. I don't know how, but I will learn again."
Her Chimera shoulders shook, and she warbled. Suddenly, she raised her head and looked at the door. Without a sound, she slipped off the bed and walked away, but before she came to the doorway, she bowed twice.
Leyla, in a little pajama dress, came around the corner.
She and Tilly exchanged a look. The later lowered her head and left the room.
Strange.
"Leyla?" I said.
She ran over, sat on the bed, and hugged me.
We leaned apart, and I searched around the room. "Where is your scroll?"
She held my hands and closed her eyes.
"You aren't using it. Why?"
She opened them but didn't look at me.
"Don't feel guilty; your parents wanted you to use it. They knew what they gave up and what you would give up."
She sat for a few long moments and seemed to consider that before she pulled it from her dress sleeve. It unfurled, and she said, "It's not that. I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
"This conversation." She sighed. "I adored Meredith, but now where is she? Who are you after all this?"
I let my hands slip away from hers. "I. I'm not sure."
"See?" She stood. "You changed after you pulled back your memory from the charm."
"I put you in danger, and so many times, because I felt better with you around. I questioned that, not you."
"I put myself in danger. This scroll puts me in danger."
I gripped the blanket, frustrated, almost mad, and entirely on the defensive.
Her expression grew tight. "Did any of you consider I'd rather have my parents than this scroll?"
I stuffed down the reaction to say we could have done no different. We protected Tilly over Leyla, and she knew as much now.
They both knew. No wonder Tilly left as she did.
I sighed, Leyla was right, I now thought both as Meredith, and as Philomena. Perhaps I always had. "I'm sorry. I don't remember yet, but it couldn't have been an easy choice. Travere with Spiritist imbuements would likely have performed your parents' Inquisition. Tilly would be dead, and you would still be a heretic's daughter without your scroll."
"What about Eda?"
I couldn't answer. No one mentioned Philomena helped free Eda ever. Had I done nothing?
She smoothed her hair. "I'm sorry, it's not fair to ask. I know you don't remember everything. Also, I'm not ungrateful for what good Philomena and my parents did do." She looked at her scroll.
"Is this why you've waited to see me?"
She breathed heavy and crossed her arms. "I guess so. I healed fast after Thirteen saved me. Rhys said you insisted on going after Travere alone after he injured Tilly and me."
"I did."
"So again, it's up to you?" The way she asked said it wasn't a real question.
"Was I supposed to let you die? You were unconscious, Rhys and Thirteen could save you."
"Sybil gets to head up the invoker investigation, Ansgar the chase for Travere. You'll bring Tilly to search for her brother so Rhys will come. Where do I fit?"
She wasn't talking about the pursuit of Travere. I saw that much, but I couldn't answer. "Leyla, I'm trying. I have feelings for you that cloud my judgment."
"They should help your judgment. My heart tells me to help you. I was willing to go with you to the end."
I bit the inside of my lip. "Your parents had a cause, not just feelings. If you're going to die, it shouldn't be senseless. You should value yourself more."
