“Oh, I don’t know, sweetie,” Avery said softly. “It’s up to Wyatt.”
“But I want you to come,” Jamie replied, his voice holding a pout I could visualize clearly. “You’d really like Sarah. She could be your friend.”
“Hmm, maybe.” Avery didn’t sound so sure about that, causing me to frown. Because I actually agreed with the little man. Sarah and Avery would get along well. Actually, they’d be a force of nature together.
“Well, I don’t want to go without you next time. ’Cause I missed you too much.”
“Yeah?” Avery laughed, but it was missing emotion. “Well, I missed you, too. More than anything in the world.”
“Then you come with us next time.” The words were spoken with finality.
“That’s not up to me, little dude.” Her response made me frown. “Wyatt makes the rules.”
“How come?” he asked.
“Because he does.”
“But how come?”
“Because he’s in charge.”
“But I thought you made the rules.” A sound argument from Jamie.
Pretty sure she’s in charge, too, little buddy, I thought at him.
“I used to, but things change.”
“But why?” he demanded. “You’re Auntie A. You make the rules.”
Avery sighed. “For now, okay. And my rule tonight is you need to go to sleep.”
“But you haven’t read to me yet,” he pointed out. “Rules are rules, Auntie A. Read, then sleep.”
“You and your rules,” she teased, but that note was in her voice again. “All right, dude. I’ll read.”
I pushed away from the wall, ignored the bathroom, and went downstairs to find my phone. I’d left it on the dining room table.
It felt strange dialing my older brother’s number. I added it to the list of new experiences for the month because I’d never actually called him before. He usually phoned me.
“Wyatt,” he said by way of greeting. “Is everything all right?”
I snorted. “Wow. I must really not talk to you often for you to think someone has to be dying for me to call you.”
“Hold on.” He said something in another language, which sounded like Japanese, then I heard a door swish open and closed. “What’s going on?”
“Are you in the middle of a meeting?” I glanced at the clock on the stove. “It’s almost eight o’clock.”
“Which is nearly nine in the morning in Japan.”
Shit. “You’re in Japan?”
“Yes, and I just walked out of a meeting. Now, tell me why you’ve called.” The command in his voice grated on my nerves, but I also understood it. My older brother was all business, all the time. It made me feel foolish for calling him with my nonsense.
“I’m sorry. If I’d known you were in a meeting, I would have texted. This isn’t important.” That sentence seemed to define my life. I’d wasted so many years doing nothing while my big brother was off changing the world. And here I was, still not making much of a difference at all.
“You are important,” Evan replied without missing a beat. “What’s up?”
“I, uh, was just going to ask if I can bring Avery to the wedding. You know, with Jamie.” I hadn’t given it much thought, but the idea of being without both of them for two weeks didn’t sit well with me.
“Of course.” He didn’t even hesitate. “We’d love to meet Avery, and you know we already adore Jamie. I’ll let Sarah know.”
“You’re sure?” I pressed, not wanting to impose. “They might not be able to do the full two weeks. I haven’t asked yet.” Jamie would still be in preschool in May, and Avery had her job to consider.
“That’s okay. Just let me know. And, Wyatt?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. We’re looking forward to you being there.”
“Uh, yeah, no problem.” It sounded pathetic, but I didn’t know what else to say. “Thanks for letting me bring them.”
“They’re family,” he replied easily. “You all are welcome anywhere, anytime. But I need to get back to this meeting.”
“I understand. And, uh, maybe we can chat again soon.”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay. Have fun in Japan.”
He snorted. “I’m only here for the day. Flying back to Sarah tonight. Talk to you later.”
I said a meager farewell, frowning. Maybe I should talk to him about helping more with Mershano Suites. A consideration for later. I had a woman to seduce. Then maybe I’d ask her opinion. We already had a dozen things to talk about; what was one more item for the list?
22
Avery
I needed to check my work emails, to see what I’d missed from today, but I just didn’t have the energy. Likely because I had slept all of three hours last night after being nearly destroyed by my emotions over the weekend. And also, the events of today.
Jean had a condo. A bachelorette pad where she lived, partied, drank, and didn’t care about anyone other than herself. One she bought using my identity, which explained that one time I “lost” my driver’s license three years ago. She’d borrowed it. And bought the place under my name. Paying cash so no one would bat an eye.
She also had a hefty account filled with funds Wyatt had sent for Jamie, all of which she’d been using to fuel her drug and alcohol habits.
While leaving me here, in this three-bedroom, mediocre home to raise her son.
I buried my head in my pillow and let out the scream that had been building inside me for hours. God, it felt good to let go.
So I did it again.
And again.
And again.
And lost track of time and space.
I hated Jean.
I hated what she’d done to me.
I wanted to murder her myself.
But I couldn’t. Because she was already fucking dead! My parents would be so disappointed, not just in Jean but in me for cursing my sister in her grave. The bitch deserved it and worse. Yet, I couldn’t do anything. Only scream. Vent. Cry. Hate.
The only good consequence of all of this was Jamie, and he was about to be taken away from me because of Jean.
One final selfish action, nailing my coffin closed to live with crimes I never committed.
“I hate you!” It came out as a muffled yell against the pillow, but I didn’t care. I repeated the words, kicking, and didn’t give a fuck at all that I was essentially throwing a tantrum.
I earned the right to let it out. No one could take that away from—
A warm palm met my shoulder, causing me to jerk upright. Wyatt stood beside the bed, shirtless, and wearing a concerned expression.
“Of course you’re here,” I said, collapsing back into the pillows and punching the mattress. It seemed he was just going to witness all my moments of weakness now. More fodder for him to use against me. Not that I stood a chance in a custody battle anyway.
No, I didn’t even want to fight him anymore.
He’d proven to be too perfect with Jamie.
The ideal father I could never take away from the boy I considered to be my own son.
Wyatt slid onto the bed beside me, his arms offering a cocoon of heat I couldn’t refuse. Because what did it matter? Why fight? He’d seen me at my worst already. Why not again? It wouldn’t change anything between us, and I could use a fucking hug.
I had no one.
No friends.
No support.
No one to offer comfort.
And soon, I wouldn’t have Jamie, either.
I shattered in Wyatt’s embrace, no longer fighting the onslaught of emotions assaulting me from within. All the anger, the frustration, the heartache—I gave him everything. And for reasons I couldn’t discern, he accepted it, his fingers combing through my hair while his other hand rubbed my back.
He said nothing. Just held me while I fell apart in the worst of ways and offered me the sympathy I craved. Not pity, no. Just support. Understanding. Becaus
e Jean had deceived him, too. He was perhaps the only person in this world who knew what that felt like, and how messed up was it that it brought us together?
But we’re not together, I reminded myself. This is temporary. He’d be gone in a month. Maybe sooner. And why did that hurt me even more? It wasn’t just about losing Jamie but about losing Wyatt now, too.
This was never supposed to be about feelings.
Or so I thought, anyway.
But it’d been an emotional train wreck from the beginning.
“We’re going to figure this out,” Wyatt whispered, his lips in my hair as he held me against his chest. “Garrett is going to have Jean’s place cleaned up and staged for sale, but he won’t move forward with marketing it until you’ve decided what you want to do with it. Just know that you don’t need to worry about any of it. We’re here to help, okay?”
“But why?” I asked, pulling back to study him, my face no doubt a mess of tears. “Why do you both keep asking me what I want to do with it? It’s not my condo. I mean, yeah, it’s in my name. But that’s your money, Wyatt. Not mine. Nothing about any of this is my decision.”
“Everything is your decision,” he replied, cupping my cheek. “The condo, the money—it should have all been yours from the beginning, Avery. So it’s almost bittersweet that Jean put it all in your name, as if she knew it’d one day be yours anyway.”
“It’s not mine,” I snapped. “I don’t want any of it. It’s not my money. It doesn’t belong to me. None of this does. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is Jamie, and he doesn’t belong to me, either. He’s yours. And I have no say over any of this. So you and Garrett figure it out. I’ll sign whatever you need me to sign, but I don’t want the condo or the accounts or anything. I just… I just want…” I trailed off on a sigh because what I wanted didn’t matter. I could never have it. That much I understood now.
“You just want what?” he pressed, clearly not hearing my internal defeat. “Finish that statement, Avery.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to know what you want. Tell me.”
“It’s an impossibility.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
I laughed, but it lacked humor. Because yeah, he was the judge of that. At least, in a way.
“Jamie’s yours. I can’t have him. I understand and accept that, even though it kills me.” I took a deep breath, my heart crumbling into ash between us.
“All I want is for Jamie to be happy,” I continued, laying it all out there. “I want you both to be happy. And I can’t be part of that with Jean hanging over all of us. I’ll be the constant reminder of what she’s done, and there will always be something. I’m convinced she’s left me a graveyard of secrets to uncover, each one providing a new problem for me to solve. Apparently, that’s to be my existence. And how pathetic is that?”
I wanted to cry all over again, but I had no more tears to shed. It was all I’d done for days after months of holding it all in.
Jean had finally broken me.
And Wyatt was my witness.
Fan-freaking-tastic.
I pressed my palm to his face, searching his eyes. “I know you have to take him from me. I know that’s what’s best for him. It kills me to acknowledge it, but I understand it. And I don’t fault you for it. I’m not good enough for him, and I see that now.”
His forehead creased, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t think you’re good enough for Jamie?” The words sounded angry, his flushed cheeks adding to the effect. “You’ve raised him for four years on your own, Avery. You’ve been his mother in every way that counts. And you’re going to let your sister’s bullshit make you feel inadequate? Now? After all these years?” He snorted. “I thought you were stronger than that.”
I blinked, his words slapping me across the face. “Excuse me?”
“You know, maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not good enough for him, if you’re just going to give up after a bad few days. How utterly disappointing.”
My jaw clenched, a different kind of heat pouring through my veins. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? I’m doing the right thing, and you want to make me feel guilty for it?”
“You’re not doing the right thing. You’re giving up. And that’s unacceptable.”
“I am not giving up,” I argued. “I’m admitting that you’ll be a better parent to him.”
“Why, Avery? Why would I be a better parent to him?”
“Because you’re his father! You don’t have all this baggage. You have the means to take care of him. You… You…” I growled, losing my train of thought. “You’re the better parent.”
“Hmm, I see. So, money and a lack of baggage, oh, and paternity, qualify me to be a superior father. Fascinating. Because you know what I’ve witnessed?”
I rolled my eyes, annoyed by his poor summarization. But he continued before I could comment.
“I see a woman who has worked her ass off to afford her own home for a child she considered to be hers, not because she birthed him but because she loved him. She’s taught him right and wrong. She’s taught him how to be respectful. She’s taught him how to make friends, how to act in public, how to communicate, and how to be a little person. He can get himself ready for bed. He can feed himself. He can make decisions. He’s intelligent. He’s not afraid to talk about feelings. He might have a bit of a pizza problem, but that’s okay because he’s fucking perfect in every way, and not because of what I have done for him. But what you have done for him.”
His hand slid to the back of my neck, his gaze intense as he stared down at me.
“Avery, you are the reason he’s thriving, the reason he’s survived. And don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Okay, so I wasn’t done crying. Because while he’d been speaking, tears had popped into my eyes. Not of sadness, but of something very, very different. “You see all that?” I whispered, my throat tight with emotion.
“Of course I fucking do. You’re the reason my son is who he is, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing about him. The baggage, as you call it, bears no weight on who you are to him and who he has become because of you. Jamie loves you, Avery. You’re just as much the center of his world as he is yours, and I would never, in a million years, want to break that. Don’t you see? All I want is to put Jean to rest for us all. It’s not about compensating you for your time or trying to make up for the last four years. I just want to put her in the ground once and for all.”
I… I didn’t know what to say. He’d just flipped all my logic on its head, pointing out facts that I knew deep down but had lost beneath the turmoil of our situation.
“And for the record, you’re not the only one with baggage.” His thumb traced the column of my neck, brushing my pulse and back up. “My childhood was not a dream, Avery. There’s a reason I rebel against my father. He’s a horrible person, someone I don’t want in my son’s life. Someone I don’t want in your life, either.”
Oh. Another statement I didn’t expect. But this one was much easier to respond to. “What did he do?” I wondered out loud. Then I realized how intrusive that was. “Oh, you don’t have to answer that.”
“No, I don’t. But I want to.” His thumb continued to draw lines over my skin while he relaxed beside me.
At some point during his speech, he’d pushed me to my back to lean over me, as if needing the leverage to make me understand. But now, he seemed to want to be on an even level again.
I turned to face him, my head on a pillow while he cradled his own with his arm. The other hand remained against my nape, keeping us connected in an intimate way while his gaze found mine.
“What I’m about to tell you is one of the best-kept Mershano family secrets in history,” he started, a warning in his voice.
“Okay.” Did he want me to promise not to say anything? Because that sort of went unsaid between us.
&nb
sp; He took a deep breath, then dropped the bomb on me. “Ellen Mershano isn’t my birth mother.”
My lips parted. “She’s not?”
“No. Jonah had an affair with a twenty-year-old employee and paid her off to keep her quiet. I barely had a chance to know her, having only been allowed visitation rights in my early years, but it was enough to leave a lasting memory. It also made me the proverbial black sheep of the Mershano family, mostly because Jonah loves to remind Ellen that I’m not hers, like I’m a sort of trophy for his infidelity. In summary, he’s a dick, and their marriage is not a fairy tale or anything close to it.”
Wow. Wyatt constantly calling his parents by their first names suddenly made a lot more sense. “I… I don’t know what to say,” I admitted. Apparently, our theme for tonight revolved around leaving me speechless.
“Not much to say, really. But maybe it gives you a little insight into why I feel so strongly about Jamie staying with you. I was ripped from my mother’s arms at the age of five and never saw her again. I would not wish that experience on anyone, let alone my own son.”
“But I’m not…” I trailed off at the look in his eyes.
“You are his mother in every way that counts. And denying it not only belittles you but it belittles what exists between you and Jamie.”
I swallowed. “You’re right.” The two words came out on a croak, my heart thudding hard in my chest. “It’s just, well, hard. You don’t know what it’s like to consider someone yours but have society and everyone else constantly remind you that he’s not. And when I tried to adopt him, to finally claim his as mine…”
“I arrived,” he finished for me.
I nodded. “Yes. But I don’t blame you, Wyatt. I get it. He’s your son, too.”
“Biologically, yes. However, I’d not earned the right for him to call me Dad yet.”
“You will,” I replied, certain of it. “He took to you faster than anyone else he’s ever met. It takes time, but he’ll be yours in all ways before you know it.”
“While still remaining yours,” he said, his grip on the back of my neck tightening. “I’m not going to take him from you, Avery. I know that’s not as comforting as a legal document, that I could break my vow at any moment, but I need you to trust me not to. We still have a little over a month left of our current agreement, which may or may not be enough time for us to figure all this out. What matters is that we work together, all right? Stop doubting me. Stop doubting this. Stop doubting yourself.”
The Rebel’s Redemption: Mershano Empire Series Page 16
