“I want to make this special for you, not just something that happens and it’s over with. You waited this long; I think it’s okay to wait until your body’s ready for it.” He pulls a loose throw blanket over the top of our legs, our upper bodies still exposed to air that has goosebumps on our skin, but it isn’t from the cold.
“I’ve been doing some research on your eyes. There are a few consistent things that keep popping up. The first thing is, if I mark you, it will stay forever until death. Your bond with Clayton will fade, just like if he died. You will not feel that bond with him anymore. Clayton will always feel it, but not as strong; it’s more of a longing instead of an intense need, the moon’s justice. You have been wronged by many wolves, Rya, and the moon has seen this and blessed you with a choice of who you can have. If I mark you now, I’m going to send you into your heat. I don’t want your training to stop. I want you to learn how to fight so you aren’t afraid of any wolf or skin. You will have the skills to defend yourself against anything.”
“I never had a heat, Dallas. I’m sterile.” I don’t look away as a flash of disbelief crosses his face.
“No way, there is no way. You don’t smell moldy or sour. You smell as if you could get pregnant now. Everything seems ready for a pup. When I touch inside you, I can feel your body preparing for a future. You’re not sterile, Rya. In fact, I’ve been thinking that you are in a constant state of heat to a certain degree. It’s an anomaly, just like your eyes.”
“Everyone says that they can smell it, but I’m not sure, Dallas. I’m too old. I should have had my first heat by now. I need you to be prepared if I can’t have a pup. Would you still want me?”
“I would want you no matter what, no matter if you give me ten pups or none. I just want you, plain and simple.” Lips find mine again, showing me how much he wants me.
The phone rings again, interrupting our make-out session.
Reaching over, he picks it up, handing it to me.
Looking into the screen, I stare up into his eyes, not wanting to answer it.
“It’s Clayton. He’s been calling me, leaving messages.” Dallas’s lips form a straight line, showing his displeasure.
The ringing stops. I can only assume he’s leaving another voice message.
“How long has he been doing this?” He’s sitting up on the edge of the bed with his back facing me.
“Last night I was listening to all your messages and I found several from him.” I don’t lie; I can’t have lies between us.
“Do you want to talk to him?” His back muscles flex with the tension in his body.
“I don’t, but part of me is interested in what he has to say. Trust me when I tell you this. It’s nothing nice. He has nothing nice to say to me.” Clayton has ruined this moment for me.
“I can understand, and I think you should listen to what he has to say.” His shoulders seem as if they are suddenly burdened with a heavy load.
“I can’t mark you unless you’re one hundred percent sure you don’t want him anymore. I would be able to feel your longing for him. I would be able to feel your life’s regret.”
“He never gave me a chance. Why do you think that I should give him something that he never gave me?” I shout at him.
“Because I’m falling in love with you, Rya. I want the best for you. If that means that you need to give him a chance, then so be it. I’m the wolf for you, but you’re the one who has to believe it.” His whole body is facing me now, sea ice blue staring back at my own eyes.
“You can’t have the both of us. It doesn’t work that way. I need you to be honest with yourself about him. Even if it hurts me, he’s your true mate. I would never be with you if my mate were still alive. You would not be a thought in my head.” It hurts to hear those words. I know it’s not meant to be cruel; it’s to put things in perspective. He’s alive, breathing, and I’m in his place. “My wolf’s mark held. It never disappeared. I’m assuming if I marked you now, it would hold, but I can’t do it until I know you’re sure about me, about us.” His fingers trace my jawline before he kisses me softly.
“I have Caleb training him. He’s getting stronger and stronger every day. He’s taking a lot of ass kicking, but I think soon he will beat Caleb. I want him to be the strongest wolf possible, so when I give him the pack, he can lead it the way it should be led. I’m training him on how to lead. He just needs some guidance. He’s a good wolf. I know what he did to you was wrong, but as a leader of the pack, he is good. I think he’s learned from everything that has happened in the months I’ve spent with him.” His hands grip onto the bed sheets, scrunching the material in his hands.
“Why are you going to give him control of the pack you won?” I’m slightly confused why he would give up his Alpha position.
“If you don’t choose me, then at least I know he will be everything he’s supposed to be. I would be able to sleep at night knowing that you are taken care of. That the pack’s strong. Also, I think it’s time for me to take over my pack. I can’t do both. I can’t lead two different packs so far apart. I’m preparing him for my departure. It’s the right thing to do, Rya. I always knew I’d come back here. I just didn’t know when or how. But you made it possible for me. You helped me to start to live a life I was always meant to live.” His throat is tight with his own feelings.
“I don’t want to have to give you up, but I won’t stop you from going to him. I understand completely. It’s going to be hard for me, but I will be okay in the end. Trust me, I want you to choose me…not by default, not because you want to get back at him. I want you to choose me because you want me, love me. I can be everything you want, everything you need. I just want you to see this for yourself.” He’s holding me close to his body as if I might disappear from his grasp at any moment.
“Let’s go downstairs for a while before I do something we might regret in this moment.”
He gets up off the ground and goes to his bag, pulling clothes out, getting dressed. I watch him as he does the zipper up on his pants, then the button. He just throws on some random shirt that looks so good on him.
Going through drawers, he finds panties, a bra. Smiling, he holds up the material to ask if these are okay. They are my best pairs. I don’t have many; I never had anyone to dress up for.
He gently dresses me, putting on my socks, pants, and carefully my shirt, before fixing the sling again.
“I’m going to take those pins out in the morning before I go.” My eyes snap up to him.
“You’re leaving tomorrow?”
“Yes, I have to. There are some more females that are due anytime, and I have to be there.”
“I can understand, but I’m going to miss you.” I think I pout it out. Is this my first pouty lip?
“Rya, have you noticed that there was an influx of females going into their heat after you arrived back into the pack?”
“Yes, they were just starting to come in about two months after I arrived.”
“Did that happen in the pack you were training at? Did more females go into heat when you were there?” So he’s caught on to what I have suspected.
“Yes, as soon as my eyes started to change color, so did the females’ heat start to come more and more. Even the sterile females started to go into heat.”
“I had a feeling that was the case. Another anomaly. I could see packs going to war over you.” He kisses the side of my face.
“You look beautiful. Come, let’s meet some wolves that I haven’t seen in years.”
When he opens the door to the basement, laughter, singing, and bottles clanging together meet my ears. He has hold of my hand, not letting it go. Is it for me, or is it for him?
All the talking stops once we are in the open room. Several couches have wolves sitting comfortably on all the cushions with drinks in their hands. A pool table at the opposite end of the room has gathered bodies watching the action.
A few wolves with guitars in hand are strumming tunes that other wolves
are singing to. More wolves are huddled in private clusters talking and joking around.
It all stops once we arrive.
“Caleb, get Rya a water, and get me a beer.” The king of the party gets up with a grumble but does what he’s told.
“Rya.” I think he must notice the way we are holding hands, because he twists the cap off before handing the cold drink to me, putting it in my hand that’s in the sling.
“Brother.” He opens the beer for him as well, because he’s not letting my hand go.
I watch as the two brothers raise their beers in a silent salute, clanging them together, before tipping them into their mouths with a quick chug.
That’s when I notice all the smiles, everyone starting to stand and come to him. Not enough to get in his personal space, but enough to press in slightly.
I can see Cash on a chair. His eyes already have that faded film look that alcohol brings. I wonder if he has his beer goggles on? Arms crossed over his chest with a beer dangling from his fingers, he takes another sip that I’m sure his body doesn’t need.
Males start to come up to Dallas, each one giving him a quick hug, a pat or squeeze on the shoulder. He gives them back.
“Welcome home. You’ve been missed. How are you?” All words that are spoken to him are answered back with a smile. I notice the way the females don’t come too close. Instead, they smile their happiness to him, but they don’t touch him at all, and he doesn’t touch them either.
The party starts back up, music picking up in volume. A female demands to hear a certain song from the guitar players. A few males linger around Dallas, asking questions.
He places a kiss against my shoulder at random times while speaking with the wolves.
I notice the way Caleb is getting trash talked by a female with the deepest blue eyes I have ever seen. She has this swagger about her. They are playing pool against one another. She seems to be a foul-mouthed, whiskey-drinking, pool-shooting pro.
She leans over her stick, ass up in the air, a little wiggle of her hips before she shoots her next shot. Crane is behind her staring, along with what I presume are some of his buddies. This female just has it, the whole package wrapped up in a tight red dress that shows her cleavage to anyone looking. I think she’s sexy, the way her hips sway from side to side when she walks. I have to practice that kind of walking. She’s working the pool table, but I can see her working the males up, especially Caleb, who’s giving her his filthy smile every time she meets his eyes. I like how they have their own private language between them, just with eyes and gestures.
Looking over at me, she gives a red-lipped smile, without teeth. I notice the way all these females have something red on, painted nails, lips, shirt, maybe it’s a flash of red from the bra they have that’s peeking out slightly.
The females love to touch these males’ shaved heads, and the males love the attention.
I can tell Dallas is getting more comfortable with the wolves he hasn’t seen in years. The way he’s starting to laugh at the memories of his youth. They begin to tell tales of how he was, how they remember him being.
A hellion, that’s what he was.
He must have driven his mom to drink with what kind of stories they are telling. How he got dressed up in the summer time in a full ski outfit complete with goggles and snowboarded off the roof into the pool. He would have these huge outside parties in the woods, no adults allowed; he would go cliff diving in the summer time, ski diving, always looking to push the envelope, a risk taker.
I can’t help but laugh so hard, tears are coming out of my eyes, and my stomach hurts from it. He’s looking at me while I’m laughing. I smile at him, and he smiles back. Another kiss to my neck before he tips back his beer, finishing it.
I notice Carson sitting next to another male, thighs almost touching, just a very small space separating them. Very subtly, I notice the hand of the male touch his shaved head. My breath slightly catches as I see Carson look at him before standing up and going to the bathroom.
The male sits there staring at the door, finishing his drink. He sets it down before getting up, looking around, seeing if anyone is watching. He opens the door, sliding inside. I look around the crowd to see if anyone is paying attention, and no one is. They are all lost in their own little conversations.
I wonder if anyone knows his fondness for males?
“Caleb, we leave early. Make sure you’re ready!” By now, that red wolf is on Caleb’s lap, whispering something that he must like because he’s nibbling on her neck.
“I’ll be ready.” He holds his beer up to Dallas before drinking it down and ordering Crane to get him another.
Before we leave, I watch as that male wolf exits the bathroom doing up his pants. He’s flushed slightly, eyes shining.
Carson comes out, checking his pants, making sure they are done up. I watch him look around, seeing if eyes notice. His attention is on me; he knows I’ve seen. He stops mid-step before taking a big breath and turning away from my eyes.
Cash is still sitting in the same spot looking more glazed. His drink of choice now is whiskey. He’s drinking it like it’s water. A female comes over, trying to touch his head. He angles away from her hand. She grabs him by the jaw, pulling his face to hers.
“Grow your hair out then!” She spits out these words before pushing his face away from hers.
Cash drops his head, shoulders slightly bent. Carson, by his side, helps him up to stand. A little stumble from Cash has him almost falling on his face, but his brother is there to catch him before he falls.
He’s taken away, half dragged, half walked. His whiskey voice slurs all his hurt out. Dallas lets my hand go to take his brother in his arms.
“It was nice to see everyone, but I think it’s time for bed.” He glances at Cash, who’s now barely standing on his own. All the wolves have a look of sadness by Cash’s behavior.
On the way upstairs, Cash keeps muttering to himself about twins, about her. That’s what he calls Kennedy, her.
I think that Kennedy is Cash’s beautiful poison.
Dallas encourages Cash, “That’s right, lift your leg one more step and we’re almost there. One more step, pick up your leg, Cash.” He’s bombed. I have never seen another wolf so drunk before. This was my first basement party, and I liked it.
Kennedy pulls her door open. Cash’s head is down on his chest. She comes to stand on the opposite side of Dallas, helping to bring Cash to his room. She’s taking some of the weight from Dallas. Their progress is easier with her help. Dallas puts him on his bed, then walks out. I watch as Kennedy starts to take his socks off quietly, unbuttoning his pants, rolling him this way and that so he’s in his boxers. She curls up against him, murmuring softly in his skin. He’s passed out, no hope of a memory of this.
I close the door as soon as Dallas walks out, not wanting to meet her eyes.
Dallas once again helps me out of my clothes as I watch him get out of his. He gives me a pill that was in the pocket of his jeans, saying that the pain should come in the middle of the night and he wants me to have a good sleep.
Pulling the bed sheets down, he gets in, and soon as I’m pressed tight against his side, my thigh now over his. He pulls the blankets up to my shoulders, making sure I’m held just right.
“This was nice, Rya, to see everyone again. I’ve been away too long.” I’m smiling into his skin now.
“I’m happy for you, Dallas.” The opiate he gave me before bed is working as it begins to eat my vision away, my body sinking further into his. His fingers play with the ends of my hair.
“I want you here with me when I begin my training, Rya.” That’s the last I remember as I fall asleep in his arms.
***
Waking up by myself in bed, I dress awkwardly before going into the kitchen. The pain in my arm is biting into my bone.
I’m hurting.
Dallas is at the table with his parents having morning coffee. It’s just him and his parents talking q
uietly in the soft light of morning.
“You’re up. I didn’t want to wake you.” Dallas gets up, pulling a chair out for me to sit down and pushing it in slightly. He looks at the pins. With a quick yank, the first one is out, and the next is just as fast.
“The faster, the better, Rya,” he says as the pins are laying on the wooden table. “If I did it slow, it would hurt a lot more. Think of it as waxing: the slower you pull the paper away, the worse it hurts. Same with these things.”
His parents smile at me. His mother is on his father’s right, with Dallas on his left.
“How are you feeling?” his mother greets me softly.
“It hurts, but I can deal with the pain.”
Caleb walks up from downstairs, a mess. Bloodshot eyes, scratching his head, he’s shirtless with just his boxers on. He has scratch marks all over him; I think maybe they were made by two different pairs of claws.
Opening the fridge, he takes the orange juice from the carton and drinks it all down in just a few big gulps. He tries to put it back into the fridge as his mother throws a spoon at his head. He barely moves in time as it catches the tip of his nose.
“If it’s done, throw it out,” she snaps at him. I think this is how they show their love for one another. It’s a playful banter that they have.
“Mom, listen.” He shakes the container with just barely a layer of juice left. “It’s not empty yet.”
“You suck the living soul out of my body, Caleb.” But she smiles at him the way mothers do at their males who they love unconditionally.
The Silverback Alpha laughs at the exchange. I don’t see Caleb playing any kind of games with his father. Maybe he knows better than to rile up the beast.
“Get dressed. We’re leaving now.” Dallas is firm with the way he talks with Caleb, no motherly love in his voice. A flash of annoyance crosses Caleb’s face, but he does what his brother says without a word of displeasure.
Once Caleb comes back up in his wrinkled clothes that he was wearing yesterday, we walk the brothers out to the car.
The Wildflower Series Page 27
