“Shana, you came,” she cheered, bouncing on her feet.
I released her and grinned. “I said I would.”
“Told you Shana would come,” Amy said, grinning at me.
“You know I have the perfect earrings that will look nice with your hair,” Amber said, bringing attention to her.
Lucy clasped her hands together. “Really?”
“No. Amber’s a friend who is leaving. See you later, Amber.”
She ignored me and took a pair of earrings out of her bag. “See? These are perfect.”
They were rhinestones, and I had to admit they were lovely. Lucy and the other girls who crowded the door were in awe of them too.
“You should wear your hair down and add waves to the front,” Amber said. “I could show you.”
Amber was going to get them excited for nothing. I knew Mrs. Wilkins was a stickler for house rules. She could be tough on newcomers, but really it was only to protect the girls and I respected that. I knew what it was like to have your hopes high and end up disappointed. I didn’t want to risk hurting their feelings.
“I would like to wear the necklace my dad gave me that’s locked in the office. Could you help me, Shana?” Lucy asked as we walked through the front door.
“I’ll ask Mrs. Wilkins,” I said.
“Ask about me too,” Amber said, and the girls all agreed with her.
“I’ll ask for temporary permission to visit,” I said. “But no promises.”
The children cheered like she had already been approved. “Wait on the porch, Amber.”
I left the front entrance and went down the small hallway to the converted bedroom used as the staff office. Mrs. Wilkins was behind the desk, typing on the laptop. She didn’t stop or look up when I walked in.
I cleared my throat. “A friend stopped by and wanted to volunteer today . . .”
She paused and sat higher in her seat, eyeing me coolly. “Absolutely not. No one is allowed inside without authorization and background clearance. Every child has a supervisory team, and the children’s court judge would have to agree to visitation. I know this is hard for you to understand since you were allowed by special circumstances, but this is the procedure. Now, you’re not scheduled to be here today, so who let you inside and authorized you to come outside of your set hours?”
“I filled out a form, and one of the managers signed it,” I said and went inside my bag and handed her a copy of the form and the other to use the curling iron, tweezers, and makeup.
She frowned down at the paper. “I’ll need to make sure the original is in the report binder.” She opened up the files and checked my form and supervisor authorization. “This is outside of our operational guidelines. I’ll have to speak about this to Mrs. Kirby. You’re here for community service. You’re not allowed to make personal relationships with the clients. This was explained to you during orientation.”
I folded my arms. Sure. I just spend practically every day with them, but I was supposed to stay aloof.
“I’m helping Lucy get ready for prom. I thought we helped support their lives here.”
“If you’re already scheduled to be here, you can, not outside your time. Now, if your friend wants to volunteer for the baseball program, she can apply.” She unlocked a file cabinet and took out a form and handed it to me.
“Thank you,” I said. At least I’d tried. I turned to walk out and remembered Lucy’s necklace. “Lucy would like to wear her necklace to prom.”
“I’ll check her inventory form for stipulations related to her personal items. I’ll also have to call her foster mom to make sure it’s okay. If it’s in the safe, I’ll have to speak with the regional manager to authorize her taking it for the night.”
I grimaced. More red tape. “Can we take a photo of Lucy with it on?”
She picked up the phone and blew out her breath. “That’s something I’ll also need to check for approval.”
I left the office and found the front door closed. Laughter and loud voices drifted down the stairs, and Amber’s unmistakable scream-laugh sailed above the rest.
Shit! She didn’t leave. I ran up the stairs to the room assigned to Lucy and Amy and walked inside. Amber waved to me then went back to brushing Lucy’s hair.
“You need to leave,” I said to her.
“Oh, come on, Shana. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Now, Amber.” I raised my voice.
Amber pouted. “She used to be so much fun. Didn’t you, Shana? Our prom was so insane. I went with Shana’s twin brother, Jackson, and he arranged a boat party for us. We didn’t return for like three days. Oh, and remember how Nathan—”
“Nathan volunteers here. Don’t say another word,” I warned her.
“Oh my God, you mean Officer Donleavy?” Lola asked.
Amber laughed and mockingly zipped her lips.
“Oh please, Amber, tell us,” Lola prodded.
“I’m with Ms. Shana. You need to leave now. It’s against the rules, and we’re not losing her,” Amy said, pushing her hip out and pointing at the door. I loved her for that.
The girls all agreed reluctantly, and Amber finally went downstairs.
“Call me for Hooligan’s tonight,” she called back.
I followed her out of the bedroom. As we headed down the stairs, we found a staff member at the bottom talking to one of the girls.
I called down, “She’s leaving. Please unlock the door and let her out.”
I left Amber, returned to Lucy’s room, and joined the girls in a makeshift beauty salon to help Lucy finish her hair, nails, and makeup.
“So, are you dating Officer Donleavy?” Lola asked.
“No, and that’s none of your business,” I said.
“You like him. He’s good-looking for an old guy,” Irene said dreamily.
Damn was he.
“He’s like ancient,” Wendy said and gagged.
“We’re friends,” I said, even if I didn’t like it.
“I could ship you two, but you don’t seem like the type that would stay here for long,” Lola said. “Officer Donleavy is more the hometown family kind of guy. You look more LA or New York City than Sunnyville.”
“Hey. I’m from here. I like families too,” I protested.
They all laughed at that.
“I had a prom too, and I couldn’t go. But Lucy shows up, and she gets a new dress and a stylist. It’s not fair,” Irene gritted.
“It’s not like that,” I said, but she stormed out of the room.
“Leave her. She just wants to be with her ugly boyfriend,” Amy said.
“Who is he?” I asked.
“Just some loser at school,” Lola said. “She’ll get over it.”
I considered going after her, but I only had so much time before Lucy would need to leave for the dance.
I styled Lucy’s hair in a side waterfall braid with loose curls. After plucking her brows, I added a light palette eyeshadow, mascara, and pink lip gloss. She went in the bathroom to change and came out in a blush pink tulle dress with a lace bodice.
“You look amazing,” I said to her, and she hugged me.
“Thank you, Ms. Shana.”
“Where did you find your pretty dress?” I asked.
“The group home has a discount for clothes at some retailers,” Amy said.
“I asked around at school and called Kylie, my social worker, to see if I could use some of my allotted money,” Lucy added.
“I knew about some grants I had through social services for events,” Wendy said.
“That sounds like a lot of work,” I said and wished I had been involved in helping more. They already told me I wouldn’t be allowed to donate money until after I was no longer doing community service here. As if supporting the group home financially would influence their reports in some way.
We all left the room, but before we reached the bottom of the staircase we saw Mrs. Wilkins, who appeared to be arguing with a skeletal woman in bagg
y, dirty clothes. I inhaled and wrinkled my nose. I knew that smell. A strong smell of sickly bleach. Crack cocaine.
“I got permission to take my daughter to the prom,” she slurred.
The supervisor stood by the front door. “That was before you turned up high at her hearing. You’re high now. There is no way you can take Lucia. I’ll let you see her, but you’ll need to leave straight away.”
“Fuck you, bitch,” she screamed and pushed over the tall, wooden bookcase next to the door, making it crash and break, with books tumbling down.
I heard a gasp behind me and motioned for the girls to return upstairs. They stubbornly moved up a couple of steps and remained.
Mrs. Wilkins didn’t flinch. “I’ll let that one slide because you’re upset. One more, and I’m calling the police.”
“Lucy,” the woman screamed. “I’m here. Get down here. Let’s go.”
I turned back toward the stairs again. Lucy shook. Her eyes filled with tears, and her skin flushed.
Someone snickered.
“Quiet,” I said. “Let’s all go back upstairs.”
“No,” Lucy wailed. “I-I-I’m going to the dance. You promised, Mom.”
“Go back,” I said and went farther down to the bottom.
Lucy’s mother started to bawl, and Mrs. Wilkins and I glared at her. Selfish bitch.
I rushed to the office for my cell phone, and without thinking, I dialed Nathan. When he answered, I said, “I need you to get through the bullshit red tape so Lucy can go to her prom tonight.”
“Tell me everything,” he said. I gave him a rundown of the state of her mom. Apparently, her mom had permission to take her on the most recent form, and because of that, she wouldn’t be able to go.
“I’ll call Kylie and see what she can do. You’re not supposed to be there today, you know,” he said.
I couldn’t help but smile at the distinct pleasure in his voice.
“Well, I had time,” I said. “Lucy asked me to help her.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
I paced with Lucy for an hour until a social worker showed up. A curvy, bubbly brunette who turned out to be a favorite among the girls.
“Ms. Kylie!”
“All right. Are you ready to dance?” She did a funny chicken dance that made them all go into hysterics, including me.
“Thank you,” I told her when she came into the office to get the van.
“Thank Nathan. Finally got him to agree to take me out on a date at Hooligan’s.” She side-eyed me, and her lips twitched.
“Oh, the heartthrob. Still trying to find a flaw in the guy. He’s like an angel to the kids and everyone he meets,” Mrs. Wilkins said, and they swooned together.
“I know, and it’s about time. We have so much in common with the kids and stuff. I think this could be the beginning of something special. Oh, sorry, Shana. I think you used to date him. Do you have any tips?”
I stiffened my spine. “No, I don’t.”
“You can leave now, Shana,” Mrs. Wilkins said dismissively.
My insides crumbled, but I kept my mouth shut. Tonight belonged to Lucy. Nathan was rubbing off on me. And making dates. Booty calls and dates. Nathan couldn’t have been clearer on where that left me.
Even to help Lucy out, Nathan wouldn’t agree to make a date unless he wanted to go out with Kylie. The flight attendant hookup I understood as sex. But he must like the social worker. She checked the boxes—sweet and dedicated to service. No baggage. So, that was that.
I went to help the staff and kids clear the bookcase, and when I was about to leave, Lucy rushed up to me.
“Did you get my necklace from the office?” she asked.
I went back to the office just as Kylie closed the door. “Kylie, Lucy’s looking for her necklace. Would we be able to get that for her?”
“Mrs. Wilkins can’t find it. You didn’t promise her, did you?” Kylie asked in a curt tone.
“No, but could you check again?”
She shook her head. “I’ll take care of it. It’s better that you leave.”
Lucy rushed over to us. “Did you find my necklace?”
“It’s gone. I’m sorry Shana promised you something she couldn’t deliver.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy,” I said softly.
Lucy moved past me and into Kylie’s arms, where she comforted her. She was good with them, and probably Nathan too.
I swallowed. Sorry, Lucy. I couldn’t compete. I never could live up to the way anyone wanted me to be. So why try anymore?
Shana
I showered and changed into a mini dress and heels, then stood on Maeve’s porch and waited. I met Amber outside because nine times out of ten, she was on something, and I promised Maeve no drugs in her home. She showed up in a Tesla to pick me up.
“New car?” I asked.
“Yeah. I like it, but I don’t know if I’ll keep it. Brit went out and bought the same one.” She rolled her eyes and went to light up a blunt.
I grabbed the joint out of her mouth and threw it out the window.
“Hey, I agreed to go out, but I can’t get a positive drug test,” I hissed between my teeth.
She glared at me. “Come on, Shana. Pot’s legal.”
“I don’t care. I’m not going back to jail,” I said and bristled at the thought.
She laughed and sped off.
“Okay. But we both know your dad will never let his only living child go to jail for real.”
I looked out the window. My dad most definitely would, which was why I had to do whatever it took to show him I wasn’t the loser he and Mom thought I was.
She barely made it a few blocks before she pulled over again, this time in a parking lot. She took out a compact, tapped out coke and snorted.
“Hey,” I grabbed the case. “What the hell?”
“What? Only I am using the coke. You won’t get in trouble unless you take it too.”
“That belongs to Amy,” I growled.
She jutted her chin. “No, it doesn’t; it’s mine.”
I pointed to the logo of XPX, Amy’s favorite band. “Since when did you become a fan of acid rock?”
She held up her hands. “Fine, Nancy Drew-Bitch. I borrowed it and forgot about it. God. Take it.” She tried to push it into my hands.
“With coke all over it now? I can’t,” I said and threw the compact back in Amber’s bag.
“It’s just a plastic piece of nothing—”
“Not to Amy.”
“Hey, come on. I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to the girl by buying her a jersey or something. All right?”
“You damn well better.”
Amber had sticky fingers. She always “borrowed” and never returned shit. Maybe she asked Amy when she was in her room at the group home and didn’t give it back. The kids had so little. Everything meant something to them.
Her phone rang, and I dug in her purse to pass it to her and froze. Her screensaver was the two of us lying on the dance floor at the rave. I didn’t remember taking the photo, but I could see my jacket gaped open, showing part of my breasts.
“What the hell is that photo doing on your phone, Amber?”
She giggled. “I’ll change it, okay? God, you’re way too uptight. I thought the spa would have mellowed you out. You really need to relax.”
“Stop making me feel like a mom, and I will,” I said in a harsh tone.
She dramatically changed the screensaver in front of me and started the car.
“Amber, no. You can’t drive after taking that,” I yelled.
“What the hell? I drove on more than that last time,” she argued, and I rolled my eyes. She wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t mean I needed to put myself in more danger.
“Let’s switch,” I said firmly. Surprisingly, she huffed, yet started to get out of the car, but then something caught my eye across the street. “Wait a sec.”
Was that my dad? Who the hell was the redhead? She was curvy . . . middle-aged, and wear
ing a tacky sequined dress. He held the door open for her to get inside his Mercedes. “Who the hell is she?”
“Oh, you didn’t know? I hear your parents just share the house, right? It’s not like they’re really married anymore.”
What the fuck? Dad had a mistress? What the hell had happened to my family . . . my friends?
But then I remembered Dad had moved his office to the guest house. I didn’t really look around when I went in there to see if he had moved in. Was that why Dad had made changes to look like handsome Brad Pitt?
“But Mom . . .” She’s sick, and he’s already moving on. I cursed and sat behind the wheel.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Hooligan’s,” I told her, ignoring my conscience telling me I shouldn’t go. I didn’t want to see Nathan on a date.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, but really I thought you knew about your dad. Let’s just put it behind us and have fun? Hot bodies, good times. Let’s go.”
I didn’t answer, but I had déjà vu. She told me many times after Jackson died to forget everything and just have fun. Her fun never included being sober.
Should I call Mom? Did she know? Would she even talk to me about it if she did?
I spotted Nathan’s car, and my stomach sunk.
And there it was. The proof. What Kylie said was true. He’s waiting for his date.
We strolled in and went straight to the bar. I waved the bartender over and called out, “Two beers and two shots.”
Amber laughed. “Glad to have you back.”
We clicked glasses together, and when I lifted my glass, a hand pulled the drink away.
“Shana, what are you doing?” My heart stuttered.
Nathan.
His shocked face told me everything I needed to know: once again, I’d disappointed the one man I’d thought had cared. Mom and Dad never gave a shit about me. Jackson was gone. And Nathan? That probably hurt the most. He’d pretended he cared, just to get me to do stuff. Used me just like Mom.
Seriously, all that time, he’d stopped by at the group home, played ball. The way he’d given me lingering looks or touched my face. The way he’d kissed me. He’d made me think he still cared about me. Sure, I did the work I had to do, but I knew, deep down, I was doing it to show Nathan. I wanted him to see I wasn’t damaged. I may have changed, but I wasn’t good enough. Not anymore.
Command: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 15
