Rusty sat still for a moment, then stood, placing his hands on Alana’s shoulders. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her, and she knew that if he did, she’d explode into a million bits of happiness. Instead, though, he looked her in the eyes.
“Alana, you’re a fantastic person, and I do like you—I respect you and admire you and appreciate you. And we do have a connection—an amazing connection. But I’m ten years older than you are. I’m in a completely different phase of my life. I’m starting out my career, where you haven’t even started college yet. Most importantly . . .” He paused. “Alana, I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry, but I’m not. You’re a great friend and I love spending time with you, but that’s as far as it goes. In fact, over the last few months, things have gotten serious between me and Tori, and I think I’m going to marry her.” He pressed his lips together. “I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
Alana felt as though she’d been shot in the chest. It took her several seconds to pull in a full breath. “I see,” she said at last. “I’m sorry to bother you.” She turned and ran out of the office, ignoring Rusty’s voice calling after her, begging her to come back.
* * *
Alana didn’t know it was possible to cry as much as she cried, or to hurt as much as she hurt. Her chest ached from holding back the sobs, but when she did give in and allow them to come out, they consumed her.
How could Rusty not see how much she loved him? How could he not see that he’d just shattered her entire world? She’d had crushes before, and this was not a crush. She loved him—loved him—more than she’d ever loved anyone or anything in her entire life. Her mother tried to console her by telling her that when she was older, she’d understand what true love was. But she knew what true love was. And it hurt.
Chapter Six
Melinda pushed open the door to the shop and stepped inside. Alana immediately sensed that something wasn’t right—her friend looked completely worn out. After placing her customer’s purchases and receipt in a sack, Alana rounded the counter and took Melinda by the arm.
“Hey,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just not feeling very good,” Melinda said. “My whole body aches.”
Alana guided Melinda over to the chairs and sat next to her. “How’s your stomach?”
“It’s probably the healthiest part of me right now.” Melinda chuckled, but it didn’t sound sincere. “I knew I’d have ups and downs, but I really thought I was over the worst part of it. I think I should stay home a few more days and let my staff run the store. Maybe I just need a little rest.”
“That sounds like a great idea to me.” Alana wrapped her arm around Melinda’s shoulders. She was surprised and yet not surprised to feel the sharp ridges of bone through her friend’s thinning skin. She estimated that Melinda had lost around twenty pounds since she started her treatment, and she’d been a small woman to begin with. “Does Dr. Harris know how you’re feeling today?”
“I called and have an appointment for tomorrow,” Melinda said. “I don’t know what he could possibly have to tell me that I’d want to hear, though. Tiredness and aching don’t sound like good signs to me.”
“But he should know that you’re not doing as well as you were the other day. Would you like me to drive you?”
“Your shop—you don’t have any employees to run it while you’re gone.”
Alana shrugged. “It’s all right if I’m not here for a few hours. I’ll just put a sign on my door, telling my customers to come back later. They can wait half a day for their dried lavender. And if they can’t wait, maybe they need to be heading to the ER instead of coming to see me.”
Melinda laughed. “I hate to put you out, but I’d actually love it if you’d drive me. Denver’s not that far from here, but it feels so much farther when you’re on your way to the doctor’s office.”
“I’m sure it does. What time is your appointment?”
“At eleven.”
“I’ll pick you up at nine thirty, and if you’re up to it, you can grab something to eat at that place you like on the edge of town. I don’t remember what it’s called, but you can remind me.”
“But you hate it there. It’s totally commercial and processed.”
“Hey, I didn’t say I’d eat there. I just said you could.” Alana gave Melinda another quick squeeze and then stood up. “Why don’t you go home and rest? I can feel you drooping, even though you’re trying to act tough.”
“I am rather droopy. Thanks, Alana. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Alana wiggled her fingers in good-bye, then studied the display on her phone. She had a message from Dr. Harris—Adam—that she’d been ignoring all day. She felt awkward about answering it, but she’d feel even more awkward showing up in his office if she was still avoiding him. Time to get it over with, she supposed.
She counted the rings as she waited for his office to pick up. She expected his secretary to come on the line, so she was surprised to hear his voice. “Adam. It’s Alana.”
“Hello. I wondered if you got my message or if I should call back.”
“It’s just been a busy day.” Liar, liar, pants on fire . . . She swallowed and continued. “I’ll be bringing Melinda in for her appointment in the morning. She’s not feeling very well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not sorry that I’ll get to see you again, though. Ever since the other night, I’ve been looking forward to the next time. I’ve got tickets to the symphony, if you’re interested.”
Alana’s taste in music was temperamental. Sometimes she could lose herself in the classics, and other times, she cranked up the rock and pounded the steering wheel while she drove the twisting mountain roads. But this wasn’t about the music. This was about Adam. Did she want to see him again? Did she want to see where this might lead?
“I’d like that,” she said after a pause that was a little longer than polite.
“Great. I’ll give you a call on Monday and we can firm it up. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Alana said good-bye, hung up, and stared at the phone for a moment, wondering about this path she was taking. It didn’t feel wrong, but she wasn’t entirely sure that it felt right.
* * *
Seventeen Years Earlier ...
“I can’t believe we’re finally out on a date,” Vince said, grinning at Alana as he drove his beat-up truck to the local diner. “How long have I been after you, anyway? Feels like forever.”
“It sure does,” she agreed. She looked out her window and tried not to roll her eyes. Calling Vince had seemed like the perfect thing to do after deciding she needed to get on with her life. Rusty didn’t want her, so she might as well go find the one guy who did. At the very least, she’d get out of the house for a while, and she might even have some fun. Her mother thought she was making a huge mistake, but it was her mistake to make, if it was one.
They walked into the diner, and Vince was greeted with hooting and hollering. All the guys from his old high school football team were there. For a split second, Alana wondered if he’d invited them to come down so they could see for themselves that she’d finally said yes to a date, but then she reminded herself that these guys always hung out at the diner on the weekend. She slid into her booth self-consciously, fully aware that everyone was staring at them.
The waitress walked up and popped her gum while she waited for them to order. “I’ll take a double bacon cheeseburger and a side of onion rings,” Alana said.
“Are you sure, babe? You’ve got such a great figure—it’d be a shame if anything happened to it.” Vince winked, and Alana felt her cheeks go red.
“Um, okay. How about the fish fillet and a side salad.”
The waitress raised her eyebrows. “All right. If that’s what you want.” She scribbled out her first notation and made a second one.
“And I’ll take that double bacon,” Vince said. “No point in letting it go to waste, right?” He laughed, an
d some of his football buddies did too. Alana couldn’t tell if they’d actually heard his joke or if they were laughing because he was. Either way, she wanted to slide down in her seat and disappear.
While they waited for their food, Vince reached out and took her hand. “Listen, Alana, it really means a lot to me that you came out with me tonight. I’ve had a crush on you forever, and when you called me, I realized that maybe it’s a little more than a crush.”
“What do you mean?” She’d never seen him look so sincere before.
“I mean, I think I’m in love with you, and I’d like to find out if that’s true.”
“Love? We’re only five minutes into our first date. Aren’t you pushing things a little fast?”
He stroked his thumb across her knuckles. “When something’s right, sometimes you just know it. You’re special, Alana. And I feel special tonight, being with you.”
“Thanks, Vince. That’s sweet.” Alana decided to start making a list of all his good traits—he wasn’t a half-bad guy maybe.
“And if you want the cheeseburger, it’s yours. I don’t know why I said that. Just being a jerk, I guess.”
“How about we split it?”
He grinned. “Yeah. Let’s split it.”
Chapter Seven
“I really don’t want to be here,” Melinda said as they pulled into Dr. Harris’s parking lot.
“I thought you liked Dr. Harris.” Alana chose a spot and maneuvered her way in. For whatever reason, all the cars seemed to be placed really close together. Good thing her car wasn’t very large.
“I do. I’m just scared of what he’s going to tell me.”
Alana removed the key from the ignition and then placed her hand on Melinda’s wrist. “It’s better to know so you can come into the battle prepared,” she said. “You can do this. And I’ll be here if you want to rant and rave, or if it’s time to celebrate—whatever it is, I’m here.”
“Thanks, Alana. I’m so glad you are.”
The two women walked up to the building and inside, then over to the reception desk. The nurse behind the desk seemed to know Melinda well, and they chatted a moment about some mutual friend’s daughter who had just gotten a lip ring. Alana wandered over to the magazine rack and chose out a few that looked the least likely to annoy, then sat down to wait. Her horoscope gave her a good chuckle—not even close.
Melinda took a seat next to her a few minutes later, and then the nurse called her back.
“Do you want me to stay here?” Alana asked.
“Actually, if you don’t mind, could you come in with me?”
“Of course I can.” Alana stood, not at all disappointed that she wouldn’t get to finish the article on preferred acne treatments of the stars, and walked with Melinda to the specified exam room.
Dr. Harris came in a moment later, his face buried in a chart. When he looked up and saw Alana, he smiled and seemed genuinely happy to see her—almost surprised, in fact, even though he’d known she was coming. “Lending some moral support?”
She shrugged. “I’m always up for a day trip with a friend.”
“Well, I’ll try to keep things short today so you can hit the mall or a gallery or something while you’re in town.” He hooked the rolling stool with the toe of his shoe and dragged it closer, then sat down to face Melinda. “Hey there. Says in your chart that you’re experiencing some weakness and fatigue.”
“Yes, I am. I mean, I know you said I would, with the chemotherapy and all, but this feels like a lot more than that.”
“I see. Well, I’d like to run some tests and see if we can rule out any further spreading of cancer cells. Your last results showed that we had everything pretty contained and they were dying off, but I don’t think you should be feeling the way you are. Let’s find out.”
Melinda threw a panicked look at Alana. “Spreading?”
“I won’t know until we take a look. I’m only mentioning it because I want you to be aware of every possibility.” He took a moment to scribble in her chart. “I’m ordering a series of tests that hopefully won’t take too long. I’ll have my best techs run them. I wish I could promise quick results, but that will all depend on the lab.”
“Okay. Thanks, Dr. Harris.”
A moment later, a cheerful young man wearing green scrubs came in the room pushing a wheelchair. “Well, you must be Miss Melinda. I’m here to drive your chariot wherever you’d like to go. I’m Malachi.”
She chuckled. “Hi there, Malachi. Can you take me to get these tests done?”
“Sure thing.” He held out his arm elbow first as if to escort her to a ball. When she took it, he guided her over to the chair, and then they were off. Alana watched them go with a smile on her face, then startled to realize that Adam was still in the room.
“Hi,” she said, even though she’d already greeted him earlier.
“Hello. I’m glad you brought her in—she really shouldn’t go through something like this on her own.”
“What do you think is wrong with her? I mean, I know it’s too early to tell, but . . .”
“I don’t have a guess right now. I need to get the test results.” Adam put his pen back in his breast pocket. “You and Melinda seem very close.”
Alana crossed her legs. “We are. We each get busy with our shops and sometimes don’t see each other for a week at a time, but when we do, we pick up right where we left off. She’s a safe spot for me to land.”
“I wouldn’t have thought you needed one—you seem relatively grounded to me.”
Alana laughed. “I’m a lot more grounded today than I was when I first met Melinda. Things in my life were chaotic back then. She helped me work through a lot of that.”
Adam raised an eyebrow. “That sounds like a fascinating story.”
“And maybe I’ll tell it sometime. But not today. Today is about Melinda, and I’m afraid, Dr. Harris, that I don’t know you quite well enough yet.” She kept her tone light, but hoped he’d understand the boundary she was putting up.
He nodded once, and she knew her message had been received. “I’d like to change that, though. The more I see you, the more fascinating you become to me. I want to know what you think about everything. I was reading an article in the paper this morning, and I thought, ‘I wonder what Alana’s take on this would be.’”
“You might not like my take on a lot of what goes on in the newspaper,” Alana said. “Just think about our tiff about mint and ginger—imagine if we ever disagreed about politics or religion.” She faked a shudder. “They’d probably have to clear the streets while we worked that one out.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t discuss politics or religion, then,” Adam said. “Maybe we should stick to safer topics.”
“Music? Movies? Books? I thought we covered all that at dinner.”
“Then we’ll have to discuss art.” Adam smiled, and Alana couldn’t help but smile in return.
“I don’t know, though. You can’t really get to know someone until you’ve discussed everything that’s important to them, and we’d run out of ‘safe’ topics pretty soon. And I don’t think I want a relationship that was based solely on ‘safe’ topics. It wouldn’t be real.”
“Is that what you want, then? A relationship?” Adam asked her, his eyes boring into hers.
Wow. He wasn’t pussy-footing around. She owed him the same kind of candor. “Yes, someday I’d like a relationship with a man who will talk to me for hours about everything from politics and religion to dental floss and recipes for bread. I don’t know when that will be or who the man will be, but I’d like that. I’d like it very much.”
Adam stood up, walked over, and trailed a finger lightly along her jaw. “What if I told you,” he whispered, “that dental floss is one of my favorite things in the world?”
Alana swallowed. His touch was electric. “I’d ask you how you feel about homemade bread.”
“I love it. I absolutely adore it.”
“Then maybe we should
start talking about other things too,” she said, mesmerized by the flecks of color in his eyes. She felt like she could stare into them forever and not see everything there was to see.
“I think we should too.” He bent over and brushed a quick kiss across her forehead. He looked like he was about to say something else, but then the door opened, and a nurse came in. Alana sat and watched as they discussed a few things, and Adam signed some papers. What had just happened? Their relationship had gotten bumped up to a whole new level. Was she ready for this? Did she want this? Could she spend hours talking to him about everything under the sun and never run out of things to say and to share? The possibilities opened up in her mind, and she realized that if she didn’t at least give this a chance, if she didn’t find out, she’d always wonder. She couldn’t close this door without at least looking around the room.
“I’m sorry about that,” Adam said after the nurse left. “Paperwork. Sometimes I spend more time on paperwork than I do on anything else.”
“That’s all right.” Suddenly, Alana felt a little edgy. She’d just decided to give this a chance, and it made her nervous. She was used to moving into things slowly, watching the signs. She’d been far too impulsive in her past and had learned the pain that could cause. Adam … Adam was a tornado. He’d come into her life like a whirlwind, completely out of the blue, disrupting all her peaceful rhythms. But then, sometimes a good strong wind was needed to clear out stale air.
* * *
Sixteen Years Earlier . . .
“Mom?” Alana called out as she stepped into the farmhouse. She hadn’t been home for a couple of months, and the familiarity of it wrapped around her like one of her grandmother’s quilts.
“Alana?” Rory came running out from his room and skidded across the kitchen floor in his socks. “What happened to you? You look like . . . like somebody beat you up. What’s going on?”
In The Stars (Main Street Merchants Book 6) Page 5
