“But it still hurt.” Morgan flipped off the radio that had been playing quietly in the background. Alana hadn’t even realized it was on until she noticed the quietness of the car without it. “I’m not sure you can ever really get over something like that, but you can recognize it for what it was and move on. That’s probably what Rusty’s trying to do—he misses your friendship and wants to make things right.”
“It can never be like it was, though, and that’s the shame of it.” Alana watched a deer nibbling at the grass across a meadow. She hoped the deer would have enough to eat come wintertime, when the snow covered everything. “That might be the hardest part of all. I ruined everything by telling him how I felt. We’d been such good friends—why did I have to fall in love with him?”
“Because he’s a great guy.” Morgan glanced over at her. “You have good taste, Alana. Two totally hot doctors? If I weren’t madly in love with your brother—and married to him and stuff—I could fall for either one of them. In a heartbeat.”
Alana laughed.
“No, I’m serious. They’re both amazing men. Of course, I know Rusty better, but I like Adam so far, and I’m trying to figure out how you got so lucky. Bottle it and sell it in your shop—you’d make a million dollars.”
“I’d like a million dollars. I’ll have to think about that.”
Morgan tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. “You know what, we need to have you over for dinner. We haven’t had any guests since we moved in, and it’s high time, don’t you think?”
“You moved into your new place two weeks ago.”
“This is my point! Two whole weeks, wasted. You’re definitely coming over. As soon as we know Melinda’s all right.” Morgan shook her head. “Okay, this is getting awkward. I’m trying to keep your mind off Melinda so you won’t worry, but it all comes back to her anyway.”
“It was a nice try. And dinner would be great.” Alana tugged on her seatbelt again. Dang thing was like a noose.
“Adam’s a good doctor,” Morgan said again.
“Yeah, he is.”
There really was nothing else to say during the remainder of the drive that hadn’t already been said, so they fell quiet, and after a moment, Morgan turned the radio back up. Alana closed her eyes and worked on releasing her tension. Melinda would need her to be strong, to be balanced, and she could use these few minutes left in the car to bring herself back into focus.
* * *
The hospital staff showed Morgan and Alana to a waiting room. It had magazines, a television, a vending machine—everything a good waiting room should have—and yet Alana couldn’t relax. She kept pushing out her stress, and it just kept coming right back in. She wished she had any idea how long this procedure would take. If she had a time frame, she could count it down, know what to prepare for, but this unknowing was driving her nuts.
About four hours later, when Alana was sure she’d counted every speck in every tile on the ceiling, a nurse came out to find her. “Dr. Harris says to let you know that he’ll be with you shortly.”
“Thank you,” Alana told her, relief flooding through her entire body. “Can you tell me about the patient? How did the surgery go?”
“It went better than I personally expected, but I’ll let Dr. Harris fill you in.” The nurse gave a quick smile, then hurried back the way she’d come.
“That’s great news,” Morgan said, standing up and placing her hand on Alana’s shoulder. “Isn’t it?”
“Still too many variables. If the nurse expected Melinda to die, and instead, she’s just in a coma, that’s still not good.” Alana sat down, grabbed her purse from the floor under her chair, and pulled out her lip balm. “And how long do you think ‘shortly’ is? Are we talking, five minutes, or half an hour?”
“More like five minutes,” Adam said, appearing from around the corner. Alana jumped up to meet him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “It’s all right. Sit down with me for a second, and I’ll tell you about it.”
Alana took Adam’s hand and led him over to the chairs, where they sat knee to knee. “The surgery was a success, as far as I can tell at this point,” Adam said. “I was able to remove quite a bit of diseased tissue—in fact, everything I found, I removed. What remains is still healthy. The difficulty comes from two directions. First, how well will she recover from the procedure? She was already quite weak when we took her into surgery, so we’ll need to see how she rallies from here.”
“And the second thing?” Alana asked.
“The second thing is trickier. Cells are invisible to the human eye, and I may have left behind cancerous tissue without knowing it. If that tissue grows, then we’ve only bought her some time.” Adam rolled his shoulders, exhaustion written all over his face. “We’ll continue with chemotherapy in case there is some remaining tissue, and it will also help with any remaining cancer cells that haven’t yet attached to tissue.”
“That sounds good. Aggressive, but good.”
“It was pretty aggressive, but this cancer is attacking her rapidly, so I had to make some judgement calls. Then we’ll find out if I was right or wrong.” He stood up and stretched. “She’s in recovery, and won’t be able to have visitors for a little while. Why don’t the two of you come home with me and let me cook you dinner? I have a guest bedroom where you can rest and freshen up, and the hospital will call if we’re needed. There’s not much more we can do here for now.”
Alana glanced over at Morgan, who nodded. “Yes, I think we’d like that.”
“I’ll just call Rory,” Morgan said, pulling out her phone.
Ten minutes later, Alana and Morgan followed Adam into his high-rise condo. It had obviously been put together by a decorator—it looked like something from a magazine. But when they walked into the kitchen, it was like entering an entirely different house. This room was lived in. Bottles of spices sat on the counter, a cookbook was open on the table, and as Alana looked around, she got the sense of someone who spent a lot of time in here.
“I’m all out of organic ingredients, but I’ll try not to feed you anything blatantly fake,” Adam said with a grin.
“Are you sure you’re up to this?” Alana asked. “You just performed a long, complicated surgery.”
“Believe it or not, cooking relaxes me. It’ll help me unwind after today. You two go wash up, and I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
“You sure we can’t help?” Morgan asked.
“Shoo. Get out of my kitchen.” Adam picked up a spatula and pretended to swat her.
“Good, because I’m not a very good cook.” Morgan grinned and followed Alana into the living room.
“You’re not a good cook, but you invited me over for dinner?” Alana asked as she sank down into a white overstuffed chair.
“I was going to order in. That’s allowed, right?”
“Sure. As long as I’m fed, it’s all good.”
Alana slid down in her chair and closed her eyes. She listened to the sound of chopping in the kitchen, and a moment later, Adam started to hum. She smiled. This was a side of him she’d never expected, and it was nice.
Unexpectedly, her thoughts flew to Rusty. Was he having a good time at the conference? And what, if anything, did he hope to prove by coming to see her—that he was the bigger person and could let bygones be bygones? She mentally chastised herself. That’s not how he was—he’d never been spiteful.
She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard Adam’s voice. “Are you hungry?”
“Hmm?” She opened her eyes to see Adam smiling down at her. “Oh, hi. Is dinner ready?”
“It is, and I’ve heard from the hospital. They’re getting Melinda set up in her room, so when we’re done eating, we can head down there and see her.”
“Perfect.”
Alana stood up and stretched, then walked into the kitchen to find Morgan already sitting at the small table in the corner. “Adam let me set the table
,” Morgan said, motioning with a flourish. “Did I do a good job?”
“I see plates and forks and cups, so yes, I think you did well.” Alana sat, and a moment later, Adam carried over two platters. One held chicken stir fry, and the other held fried rice.
“You did all this while I was asleep?” Alana asked. “How long was I out, anyway?”
“Not long. I actually made the fried rice yesterday and just warmed it through.”
They each took a portion and ate. Adam was a really good cook, and Alana wondered why he hadn’t mentioned it before—especially while they were at the restaurant. Seems that would have been a good place to bring it up. It was nice, though, making this discovery about him.
“Will the two of you drive back tonight after you see Melinda, or do you want to try out my guest room?” Adam asked.
“I think we’ll drive back tonight,” Alana said. “I don’t think Morgan was planning to be gone so long when she offered me a ride.”
“Yeah, and I’ve got this stupid thing called work I have to do.” Morgan rolled her eyes.
Adam chuckled. “Well, the door’s always open. Seconds, anyone?”
“None for me,” Morgan said.
“Me neither. I’m kind of anxious to go see Melinda,” Alana replied.
“Let me throw some things in the fridge and we’ll be on our way.” Adam stood and gathered up the empty plates.
“Oh, but wait. I need to talk to you about something.” Alana glanced at Morgan, who took the hint and went into the living room.
“What’s the matter?” Adam asked, setting the plates back down.
“So, I mentioned that I trained with a vet for a while when I was a teenager.”
“That’s right. I remember.”
“Well, he’s coming through town next week and wants to spend a day or two with me. Catch up on old times, stuff like that.”
Adam nodded. “Sounds like fun.”
“It should be.” Alana paused, then rushed through her next sentence. “And I thought you should know because I used to have feelings for him, even though he never did for me.”
“Feelings for him?”
“Yeah, but I was eighteen and he was way older, and nothing ever went beyond that. He’s just a good friend. But he’s coming to visit Aspen Ridge. To visit me in Aspen Ridge.”
Adam nodded again. “I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”
“So … you’re okay with that?”
“Of course I am.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Have fun. Just mention me a lot.”
* * *
When Alana walked into Melinda’s room, the first thing she noticed was the tubing that ran in and out of her friend. She had IVs, drainage tubes—all kinds of things. Adam had come in behind Alana and picked up Melinda’s chart, and Alana turned to him. “She looks like a machine,” she whispered.
“Hopefully we’ll be able to get her unhooked from all this soon,” he said.
At the sound of his voice, Melinda’s eyes fluttered open. “Hi,” she said weakly. “Am I still alive?”
“I’m pretty sure you are.” Alana gave her friend’s hand a squeeze. “I don’t think heaven looks like a hospital.”
“Point taken.” Melinda glanced around. “Oh, Dr. Harris. Hi. How did it go?”
“Very well. I removed quite a lot of cancerous tissue, and now we play the waiting game to see if I got it all. You look a little stronger than you did—how are you feeling?”
“Like you opened me up and took out a lot of tissue.”
“Sorry about that. Let me check your pain meds.” He picked up her chart again. “I think we could go up a little. I’ll talk to the nurse.” He stepped out into the hall, and Melinda turned back to Alana.
“I don’t remember what happened. I just remember going into the shop and getting ready to open for the day.”
Alana reached over, grabbed the folding chair that was leaning against the wall, and set it up next to the bed. “I saw your car out front, but your door was locked, so I used my key. I found you lying on the floor.”
“Oh, wow. But see—I knew having those spare keys would come in handy someday.”
“And I knew that’s exactly what you were going to say.” Alana smiled, then sobered. “It was pretty scary there for a bit. This cancer’s not pulling any punches with you.”
“Yeah, I know.” Melinda plucked at her blanket. “All I know is that I’m not ready to die.”
“And I’m not ready for you to die. So, don’t do it.”
“Okay.” Melinda closed her eyes. “Thanks for being here.”
“You’re welcome. And I’ll come back tomorrow, too. And the day after—or however long it is until they release you. Adam hasn’t said how long he thinks that’ll be.”
“I hope it’s not too long. This bed is already driving me nuts.”
Alana stayed a little while longer, then went out into the waiting room to find Morgan, who was engrossed in a children’s television show. “Are you ready?”
“What? Right now? We haven’t solved the puzzle of who ate the last cookie yet.”
“Well, tell you what. You figure it out, and I’ll go say good-bye to Adam.”
“Okay.” Morgan slumped back in her chair, and Alana walked back down the hallway. Adam was standing at the nurses’ station, filling out a chart.
“We need to head back, but I’ll be here as soon as I can tomorrow,” she told him. “Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome.” He winked, then leaned forward. “I’d kiss you, but that might be a little awkward right now.”
“Agreed. I’ll just consider it done. Good night.”
“Night.”
Alana collected Morgan from in front of the TV. As it turns out, the grandma had eaten the last cookie, but she was making a new batch, so everything was all right. Alana wished that all life’s mysteries could be solved so easily.
Chapter Eleven
The next few days were spent driving back and forth to the Denver hospital and running the shop back at home. Melinda was holding her own, but wouldn’t be released for about four more days. Adam wanted to keep a close eye on her, and Alana couldn’t blame him. The surgery had been risky and somewhat experimental, and if Melinda were to take a turn for the worse, he wanted to be right there.
He and Alana spent a little time together whenever she came to the hospital, but things had picked up with his other patients as well, so he could only step away for a few minutes at a time. That’s what it meant to be a doctor, she supposed. Your life wasn’t really your own when you were trying to save the life of someone else.
Alana had been so caught up in her worry about Melinda that she’d lost track of time. When the door to her shop opened and Rusty came in, it surprised her until she realized that yes, time really had gone by that fast. A tingling sensation started at the top of her head and worked its way down out to the ends of her fingers and down to her toes, the entire universe screaming at her to wake up and pay attention. She blinked a few times and led him over to the chairs.
Alana sat down and tucked one leg beneath her. Time to be casual. Time to pretend that her heart wasn’t beating out of her chest. “How was the conference?”
“It was good. Well, mostly. Some of it felt like nothing more than a pharmaceutical sales pitch. But hey, if you’d like a T-shirt with the name of a new sedative on it, or a baseball cap, or some pens, I can hook you up.” He shook his head. “Like a T-shirt’s going to make me start using a drug. Show me some data, show me some clinical trial results, and then we’ll talk.”
Alana smiled. “It’s good to see you, Rusty.” And it was, even if she was crawling out of her skin with nerves.
“So, listen,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, “we need to talk. We need . . . to talk.”
“You said that,” she replied.
“Yeah, yeah, I did. I guess it’s something we really need to do.” He licked his lips and sat back, tugging on hi
s jacket lapels. Was he as nervous as she was?
“What did you want to talk about?” she prompted him when he fell silent. “There’s no one in the shop right now—it’s just you and me.”
He ran his hand through his short salt-and-pepper hair. “Have you ever experienced a moment when things just clicked into place for you, when you saw things clearly that you’d never seen before?”
Alana nodded slowly. “A few times, yes. I call those ‘God moments.’ I know they’ve been sent by someone or something far greater than myself.”
“Yes, that’s exactly it. I guess you could say that I had one of those God moments at your grandmother’s funeral, when I came walking in and saw you standing there. It was like . . . I can’t even explain it. It was like the past and the present came together as one, like eternity and nothingness collided and created something new and undefinable. You were talking to Rory, and I just stood there and stared at you for several seconds before I could even move.”
“You did?” Alana thought back. She hadn’t noticed him staring at her. In fact, she’d thought he’d been just a little standoffish at first. Of course, she’d been feeling plenty awkward herself, so her perceptions could have been wrong.
“And then, when we spoke, it was different. Cold. Not us.”
“I thought we were rather polite,” Alana replied.
“We were, and that’s the problem. We’ve never had to be polite to each other before. We were friends who could talk about anything. I miss that. I miss you. There’s never been anyone else in my life who could fill the void you created in my heart when you left.”
She’d made a void in his heart? “I had to leave, Rusty. I hope you understand why.” If he didn’t understand, she’d have to explain it, and she didn’t think she could go through that. It still hurt. It was still humiliating.
“I do. And I wish it could have been different. You have no idea how many times I’ve wished it.”
Alana nodded and took a sip of her tea. She could go down that path with him, explore what he was saying, try to figure out what he meant, but she wasn’t quite ready. Not yet. There would be time for that later. “How’s life treating you now?”
In The Stars (Main Street Merchants Book 6) Page 8
