“No, forget it. It doesn’t matter now anyway.” She turned her head away from him and closed her eyes. The discussion was over.
Rick got up and walked out of the room. He paced the corridor for a while, and finally sat down on the couch in the hallway.
That was where Joe found him three and a half hours later.
“What?” Joe said, walking up to the couch.
Rick looked up at him. “Nothin’. She’s fine. I just came out here to breathe.”
“Breathe?” Joe raised an eyebrow.
“Sit down for a minute,” Rick said with a resigned sigh. Joe complied, looking over at his friend and wondering if they were about to talk about his and Midnight’s dalliance in Sacramento. “When did Midnight tell you she was pregnant?” Rick asked, no anger evident in his voice.
“Last week,” Joe said. He sounded like he was on the witness stand. He thought of a motto cops used when they talked about court. “Never give them more information than they ask for.”
“And what did you say?” Rick asked, again with no hint of accusation or anger.
“I told her that I’d go with her to have the abortion if she didn’t want you there.”
Rick visibly flinched at the mention of his absence at such a critical time. “Okay,” he said, trying to keep on track. “What did she say to that?”
“She told me she was keeping it.” Joe looked at Rick warily, not sure what the man was getting at.
Rick turned to him. “That’s it, right there.”
“That’s what, right where?” Joe was sure Rick was going off-kilter from a lack of sleep.
“Why would she keep the baby if she knew it could endanger her life?” Rick was so sure Joe would agree wholeheartedly with him that he just about fell over when Joe replied.
“Because it was yours.” Joe had the same look on his face that Midnight had had, as if Rick were dull-witted.
“Do you two read off the same script or what?” Rick yelled, his voice almost shrill. “What the fuck does that matter!”
Joe looked at his best friend of many years, wondering if he should call in the white coats or have the man’s brain pan-tapped. Maybe all of his brain fluid had been drained by the Thelands. “Rick,” he said slowly, “she loves you, and that baby was maybe her last link to you. It was yours and hers—she wanted it because she couldn’t have you anymore.”
Rick sat and stared at Joe, all anger, upset, and angst drained away. It was a wonder he remembered to breathe. After a few minutes, Joe could see Rick mentally falling back and regrouping. It astounded Joe that what he had just told him had seemed to come as a total shock. He realized how easy it must be to convince oneself that someone you dearly loved didn’t love you anymore. He wondered if that was what Randy was trying to do—convince herself that he didn’t or couldn’t love her anymore.
Rick stood up and walked down the hallway. Reaching the end, he turned around, his stride speeding up as he walked back toward Midnight’s room. Joe stood up, knowing what Rick was planning to do and that it wasn’t a good idea.
“Rick,” he said, blocking the other man’s path. “Don’t be fool enough to go in there and confront her with this.”
“Why not?” Rick asked truculently.
“Jesus, you really don’t know her, do you?” Joe was ever astonished today by his friend’s obtuse frame of mind. “She’ll deny everything first, then she’ll get mad and have you tossed out on your ear. You can’t confront her about direct feelings—she’s not the usual touchy-feely type of woman. You should know that by now. She doesn’t talk about how she feels, she shows you, and that’s what she was doing by keeping your baby.”
Rick nodded slowly. “You’re right, and I know it, but what can I do? I’ve screwed things up so badly with her, and now I find out that she still loved me all the same, and I can’t do anything?” His voice railed at the fates for putting him in this place.
“I’ll tell you what I told Randy earlier. You made the decisions, you chose your path—now you have to live with the consequences. All betrayals stand, you know.”
“But what about you?” Rick asked, and Joe wondered if he would be wise to step back before Rick took a swing at him.
“What about me?” he said, his senses alert for any sort of attack.
“Where do you and her stand?”
Joe shrugged. “Got me. I told her that I wanted her and Mikeyla to stay with me, when she was pregnant.” He shrugged again. “And if she doesn’t take your sorry ass back, I guess I’ll have to drag her kicking and screaming to my house while she recovers when she gets out of here.” His voice was matter-of-fact, with a touch of humor at the end. Rick narrowed his eyes at him, and Joe was sure he was about to have to defend himself. Rick surprised him by breaking into a slow smile.
“Never am gonna understand the two of you, am I?”
“Probably not,” Joe acquiesced. He knew at that moment that Rick and he had just surmounted the largest obstacle their friendship had ever encountered.
****
Randy had gone back to the apartment the evening after confronting Joe about Midnight and finding out that he had indeed slept with her, but not until after Randy had betrayed him with Dick. She proceeded to get drunk and tell Sarah everything that had been said between Joe and herself that day. Sarah was pissed at her for even going to his “beck and call.”
“You don’t understand,” Randy had said, her eyes welling with tears. “I still love him.”
“Oh, I understand,” Sarah said. “I understand that you’re a poor little shy girl who was rescued from her meek existence by a shining knight on a white horse, and now you’re willing to let him do anything he wants to you, and anyone else he sees fit to do it to. You are so dumb, Randy. You’ve got a chance at someone as great as Dick, and instead you run back to that man.”
Randy stared at Sarah, thinking she could tell her a thing or two about “someone great like Dick.” And in her drunken state she almost did, but she stopped herself at the last minute and went off to bed.
The next morning Sarah had been curt to her, and quiet on the drive to the academy. Randy had a nasty headache and felt nowhere near well enough to go to class, but today was a lecture day, so she figured she’d be okay.
They were told that Midnight Chevalier was going to be fine. Randy felt relieved. She was at least able to pay better attention during the lecture, thinking that somehow the gods had smiled on her and let her off easy. She was feeling almost happy by lunchtime.
She and Sarah were sitting at one of the outdoor tables, talking about what lecture notes they had gotten. Suddenly, as if it were some sort of omen, a shadow fell over Randy from behind. She turned, looking up. It was the academy sergeant.
She jumped to her feet, standing at attention. She prayed this was just a snap inspection, like the ones she’d heard he conducted sometimes when cadets were relaxing.
“You have a message, cadet,” the sergeant barked. “Report to the administrative office to receive it.”
Randy felt her stomach tighten. She walked to the office. One of the secretaries retrieved the message, smiling as she handed it to her. Randy returned the smile, but almost gagged a moment later when she saw who the message was from. Lieutenant Midnight Chevalier wanted to see her, today. The word “today” was underlined. Randy spent the rest of the day on pins and needles. She had Sarah drop her off at the hospital, telling her she would find a way home. Then, as if she were going to her own funeral, Randy walked inside and headed toward Midnight’s room.
At the door, she took a deep breath and knocked.
“Come,” Midnight’s voice rang out. Obviously she’d regained some of her strength, Randy thought absently as she pushed the door open. Midnight was sitting up in bed, and when Randy walked in, her eyes seemed to turn to ice.
Randy couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just stood by the door, staring dumbly at the woman who had been her boss.
“Come in, Randy,” Mi
dnight said, her voice low and businesslike. “I know you’re not shy anymore.”
Randy walked toward her, mustering up the courage to look her in the eye. “You wanted to see me?” she said, keeping her tone as even as she could.
“Oh yes,” Midnight said, her eyes glittering maliciously.
“Look—” Randy said, trying to dissuade her nervousness by heading Midnight off.
“Save it.” Midnight’s voice cut through Randy’s like a hot knife through butter. “You and your boyfriend did a pretty good job,” she said, stunning Randy into remaining silent. “I mean, if you were trying to kill me…” She shrugged. “Okay, maybe not so good, but if you just wanted to do some damage…” She looked down, her hand resting on her stomach, then back up at Randy. The look in her eyes made Randy’s entire body go cold. “Then I’d say you two did one hell of a job.”
“Midnight, I had no idea—”
“Shut the fuck up, Randy,” Midnight snapped, her voice pure hatred. “I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses. If it were just me and you right now, I swear you’d be dead on that floor.” She laughed hollowly, a nasty, angry sound in the quiet room. “And don’t fool yourself into thinking that I couldn’t do it even now. What you got at the academy was just a sample.”
“What do you want from me?” Randy asked, feeling very nervous. She didn’t doubt Midnight’s words. Right now, Midnight was not Lieutenant Chevalier with the psychology degree and the law degree; she was a gang leader, and Randy was her opponent.
“Well, see,” Midnight said, her eyes narrowing, “that’s the thing. I’d like to see nothing more than your ass getting thrown in jail. Have you covered attempted murder in the academy yet? How about attempted murder of a police officer? Do you know how much time you get for charges like that, Randy? And maybe you haven’t had an opportunity to visit a real prison yet, but believe me, someone like you would pray to be killed, just so the rapes and beatings would end. Women inmates can be more dangerous than men in a lot of ways.” Midnight’s voice had taken on an informative tone. “But I have a problem.”
“What’s that?” Randy asked, trying desperately to muster some sort of nerve.
“Well, it seems as though for some jaded reason, my partner still loves you, and while the idea of him putting up with your cheating, lying bullshit makes me sick, I can’t see myself having you put away just yet.”
“So what does this mean?”
“It means that you better get your shit together and decide where your loyalties lie,” Midnight said, satisfied that she’d scared the hell out of her.
Randy nodded, turning to leave.
“And Randy,” Midnight said, as if she’d just had another thought. Randy turned and was shocked to see a mask of sheer determination on Midnight’s face. “Tell your boyfriend I owe him one.” She waved a hand at the bruises on her face. “And I always pay my debts.” Midnight’s voice was ruthless, and Randy knew that neither the law nor any person would stop her repaying Dick for his brutality. Randy found herself glad that she wasn’t included in that threat.
Outside the hospital, Randy sat down on a bench. She was shaking from head to toe. Her face in her hands, she began to cry. Her life was spinning out of control, and she didn’t seem to be capable of stopping it. After a few minutes, she walked over to a pay phone and called for a cab to La Jolla beach.
Randy Curtis-Sinclair spent the next four hours walking up and down the beach, mile after mile, trying to sort out her life.
She thought about growing up, her parents leaving, Darrell’s efforts to keep their family together. She thought of meeting Midnight and being so impressed with the woman that she eventually decided she wanted to be like her. Some rendition I turned out to be. She thought of her time with FORS and how she had felt part of something important. She thought about wanting to be more involved, making more of a difference.
She had thought that the academy was a logical choice. But then she had taken up with Sarah, who seemed to hate men as a rule, although she dated them and used them. Sarah had hated Joe on sight. She hated his money, she hated his life, she hated the fact that he seemed to have everything, including Randy. She had started harping on Joe from the first moment she had met Randy. It had been very subtle at first, but later it had become out and out slander. Randy had been hurt by Joe’s rejection of her idea to become a police officer, and Sarah had nursed that pain and turned it into loathing.
Then there was Dick. He too had hated Joe from the minute he’d met Randy. She wondered how much Dick had known about Joe before he had met her; she wondered if Dick had told Sarah about Joe before she and Sarah had even met. She looked back over her conversations with her husband, including the one that afternoon. He had already accepted the fact that she was becoming a cop—he had referred to her as part of “we.” She’d forgotten about that in all that had followed. She had been so set on finding something wrong with Joe that when he gave her a perfect chance to say “I told you so,” she’d done it in spades.
Joe had reminded her that she knew about his and Midnight’s strange relationship before they were married, and it was true. She had seen the way the two came together in emotionally turbulent times. In fact, she realized, that was what had drawn her to Joe and Midnight. The fact that they were there for each other through thick and thin. She remembered the fights they’d had about Midnight not having backup, or the time Joe had just about raped Midnight in drunken anger when his aunt accused him of murdering his parents. He had told her everything. He had bared his soul to her, his fears, his pains. She had been the one to tell him that he needed to forgive himself for all the things that he punished himself for, and yet she had not let him forget. Not now, not when she was angry and looking for someone to blame. She had turned everything around on him, even the thing he cherished most—Midnight’s friendship.
The thing he cherished most next to Randy, he had said. He had cherished her more than a seven-year friendship with Midnight, and yet she had used that friendship to hurt him, to accuse him. She’d even let her hatred flow to Midnight; it had allowed her to go to Midnight’s house and let Dick do what he had done. And now… Randy sat down on the sand, her tears flowing freely. The cold wind almost cut through her, but she didn’t feel it. All she could think, over and over, was that she had helped to kill Midnight’s baby, almost even Midnight herself.
Midnight, who had taken the time to sit next to her in the lobby of FORS’ offices and interview her in a totally casual manner, not letting on the whole time that she was Lieutenant Chevalier. The woman who had basically changed her life, who had not only introduced her to Joe but had encouraged their relationship. Midnight had done so much for her, and in return Randy had stood by to witness what Dick had done. It was sickening.
“I am so fucking stupid!” she shouted into the wind.
“Sure are,” came Joe’s voice from behind her. Randy almost jumped out of her skin. She leapt to her feet, whirling to look at him. He was grinning down at her. He had no idea what she’d been going through for the last four hours.
“How?” Randy asked, but she looked behind him and saw the lights of their house. She had subconsciously wandered back to what she had always considered home.
“You are crazy!” Joe said, shaking his head. “You’re gonna catch pneumonia out here.”
Randy looked up at him. He was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and a slow grin spread across her face. “Look who’s talking. I’ll lay odds that you were sitting right over there on the deck. And,” she continued, wagging her finger at him, “I’ll even go so far as to bet that you were drinking again.”
Joe held up his hands, as if to surrender. “You got me.”
He held out his hand to her, and not hesitating even a fraction of a second, she took it. They walked up to the house. On the deck, Randy reached over and picked up a half-empty bottle of tequila. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Weren’t out here too long, I see.”
Joe grinned at her again a
nd led her into the house. He turned to look down at her, concern clouding his features immediately. “Randy! Jesus, what happened?” he exclaimed, alarmed to note that she’d been doing a fair amount of crying. His hands cupped her face gently as his eyes scanned hers.
Randy reached up, taking hold of his hands. “I’m okay.”
She turned and led him to the couch in the living room. She sat, pulling him down with her, once again taking both of his hands in hers and smiling up at him. “I love you, Joseph Michael Sinclair, and nothing is ever going to change that. And I won’t ever be stupid enough to let you go again. If you’ll take me back, that is.”
Joe hesitated, surprised at her words. He wasn’t sure what had transpired to make Randy do a complete one-eighty—but then he realized that he really didn’t care. Randy could see him relax even as he smiled. “I think that can be arranged,” he softly, but his blue eyes reflected his restraint.
Randy hugged him, then got up and went into the kitchen. She returned with a bottle of wine and, conveniently, one glass, just like she had a couple of nights before. Joe looked at the glass, raising an eyebrow.
“Can you imagine,” Randy said, her voice filled with wonder. “All of the other glasses were dirty.”
“Well,” Joe said, smiling, “I guess we’ll just have to share it then.”
They drank wine together and eventually turned on the television, not ready to talk just yet. Randy found herself leaning comfortably against the man she loved, watching movies and comedy shows. They stayed up late, laughing. Randy even cried at a particularly sad movie, and she was comforted by Joe’s fingers tenderly wiping the tears away.
Later they went to the bedroom, but ended up simply lying together on the bed and falling asleep, Joe’s hand resting lightly on Randy’s waist. Things were different at the moment, but Randy accepted that everything would need to go at Joe’s pace. She was simply happy that he was willing to take her back after everything that had happened.
She woke the next morning feeling like everything in the world was right again.
Treachery Rising (MidKnight Blue Book 4) Page 14
