by Jessica Ames
“Fuck off. You’re lying.” I don’t blame Maverick’s scorn. This revelation has come out of nowhere, and it is also a lie.
“It’s not. I’ve been with Mackenzie Harlow since November.”
Logan and Beth were married in November. It was the first time me and Dane slept together, too. My mind races as I take this all in. He’s just saying this to calm the situation down, right?
I’m not really his old lady…
A few weeks ago, I would have balked at the idea. Now… now, I find a shiver of anticipation works through me. Do I want to be his old lady?
Absolutely.
I know that doesn’t come without complications, but I’ve fallen hard for Dane, even with the barriers to our relationship. I don’t care that he’s older, that he’s from another club. I don’t care that my brothers will likely pitch a fit when they find out, that Slade will be pissed I didn’t heed his warning.
All I care about is my feelings for him, and they’re stronger than I’ve ever had with any other man.
I want Dane.
I need Dane.
Hearing him call me his old lady makes my stomach fill with flying butterflies.
But he only said it to make his case stronger with Maverick.
“After four months you made her your old lady?” Maverick demands.
“When you know, you know.”
I’ve risked too much and stayed too long, so I sneak my way down the corridor, listening with strained ears to make sure I’m not going to run into anyone. I’m grateful when I hit a familiar part of the clubhouse and see the common room.
I head inside, hoping to find my girls, to find someone I know. The only people in the room right now are Liv, who is sitting feeding Danny, and Beth. I make a beeline for them both, my heart racing.
“Morning,” Beth says, then frowns. “Are you all right?”
My concern must be written all over my face. Dane going up against his National Chapter scares me half to death. What will happen to him? I don’t want him and the Devils risking their lives for us, but by the same token, I don’t want my brothers, my family, to face the Reapers without back up.
“I’m fine.” The lie rolls off my hands as I sign the words.
I’m not fine. I’m freaking out.
Old lady… He told his National Chapter president that I’m his old lady. There’s no taking that back. That’s written in stone now. I’m his. He can’t take it back anyway, not if he wants to save face.
Thoughts assail me. Will he say he wants me to save face? Does he really want me?
I have no idea.
I feel queasy.
I want to talk to him desperately, but that would mean admitting I listened into a private conversation. In our world, that’s practically a capital crime.
“Kenzie, are you sure you’re all right? You’re pale.” I peer up and see Liv staring at me with concern etched on her face.
She adjusts Danny so he can latch on better and continues feeding the baby.
“I’m fine,” I sign again. I want to confide in my friends, but this isn’t something I can share, at least not until I know the details.
Beth opens her mouth to say something when the doors of the clubhouse are roughly shoved open and a tall man with short dark hair that matches his equally dark skin steps into the room. Maverick. Dax and Dane come on his heels and I can see Dane is on edge, even though he’s trying not to show it.
Maverick is a huge man, bigger than Dane and Dax and he scares the holy shit out of me.
He scans the space before his eyes lock on me. Then he strides towards me. I swallow hard as he moves, a man on a mission, and I resist the urge to get to my feet, even though every instinct has me wanting to do that.
“You girls are Saxons, right?”
We all exchange looks before Beth nods.
“I’m looking for Mackenzie.”
“Mav, let it go,” Dane snaps out, but Maverick shakes off his grip on his bicep.
“What do you want Kenzie for?” Beth demands, protective as ever.
I place a hand on her arm, urging her to calm down, before I glance at Dane who gives nothing away. Then I raise my hand.
Maverick’s eyes pin me to my seat, the venom in that look terrifying. I’ve always had my brothers to hide behind, the Club, but now it’s just me and this man. At least until Dane steps between us.
“You have a problem with me, you take it up with me. You don’t bring her into the middle of this.”
“I just want to ask some questions.”
He moves slightly aside, but still covers me. This makes my heart swell until Maverick pins me with his gaze again.
“You’re Mackenzie?”
I swallow again and nod.
“Who’s your old man?”
My eyes start to shift towards Dane, but Maverick snaps his fingers in front of my face.
“Eyes on me, sweetheart. Who’s your old man?”
I shouldn’t lie, but I know this is a lie that will save the Devils and my own club, so I raise my hands and sign Dane’s name.
Beth translates, but her voice wavers a little as she says his name. Unsurprising, since no one in my life knows I’m with him, let alone supposedly his old lady.
“You’re with Dane?”
My gaze shifts to Dane who looks relieved and gives me a slight nod of his head.
So, I bob mine again.
Maverick lets out a frustrated breath. “Thanks for your honesty.”
Inwardly, I cringe at his words. Outwardly, I maintain my carefully crafted smile.
Maverick storms off, Dax on his heels. My gaze slides to Dane.
His hand comes to the side of my face, cupping my cheek. “I’ll explain later.” He kisses me and it’s a sweet gentle kiss that tells me how grateful he is. It’s also a very public display of affection I’m going to have to explain to my sister-in-law and Liv. At this moment, I don’t care, though, because Dane is kissing me.
“Thank you, baby.”
I sign, “You’re welcome,” and he smiles. It’s one of the few signs he knows, one of the few I taught him.
“I’ll be a couple of hours, then I’ll come and find you.”
I return his smile and watch as he leaves the room.
“You and Dane?” Beth’s voice behind me has me internally cringing.
Slowly, I turn to the two women who are looking at me with wide eyes.
“Me and Dane,” I sign.
“I asked you outright if there was something going on and you denied it.” She looks wounded, hurt. I hate that I’ve brought that out of her.
“It wasn’t the right time to tell anyone.” It still isn’t. My brothers should have been told before it became public knowledge.
“You’re his old lady?” Liv asks and I wince.
“It’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t sound it,” Beth counters. She’s upset, and I understand why, but I didn’t think I had to run everything I do past her—past anyone, in fact. I’m not a kid. I’m a grown assed woman, and I’m capable of making my own decisions.
I decide to go for the straight up truth, because there can be no beating around the bush here. Things need to be said.
“He’s mine,” I tell them.
Beth’s eyes bug out of her head. “Since when?”
Since about ten minutes ago…
I go back to what Dane said to Maverick. “Your wedding.”
Beth scowls at me and I see her ire raising. “And you never thought to once mention that the VP of another club made you his? Logan is going to hit the roof.”
She’s not wrong, even so, I sign, “Logan doesn’t get a say. Dane and I are happy together. Isn’t that enough?”
All the fire seems to leave her. “Yeah, girl, it’s enough. You know it’s enough.”
“Then stop giving me shit. It’s no one’s business what’s going on between us.” Especially when I don’t even know myself. “Just be happy for me, instead of judging
.”
“Come on, Kenz. Don’t be obtuse. You know this comes with ramifications, you know that no one is going to be happy you went there with another club’s VP.”
Guilt assails me. Damn Dane for putting me in this position, even if I understand why he did it.
“It’ll keep you all safe,” I assure her, and Beth’s eyes narrow.
“Are you doing this just for us? Because, honey—”
I wave my hands cutting her off. “I’m doing this because I love Dane.”
As soon as I sign the words, a weight feels like it lifts off me. I love Dane. I love him. I’ve loved him most of my life, I’m sure, but I know for certain he’s mine now and that we’re meant to be together.
“You love him?” Liv asks, her voice soft.
I nod.
“I do.”
I just hope he loves me back.
Chapter Fourteen
I’m on tenterhooks waiting to hear from Dane. I’ve practically chewed my bottom lip down to the bone, as I sit in the common room with Liv and Beth. Neither of them has said much to me, which is both a relief and a concern. I’ve never known Beth to be this quiet with me, and that worries me. Maybe she’s still mad I lied. Maybe she’s just mad I put the Club in a bad position.
I wouldn’t blame her.
I understand why she can’t swallow what I’ve done. I’m not sure I understand either.
“I need to use the bathroom,” Liv says, and holds out the baby. Beth reaches forward and takes Danny, letting him settle on her lap.
As soon as Liv is out of earshot, Beth leans forward.
“Okay, what’s really going on?”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes, barely. “Nothing,” I sign.
“Clearly something is going on. I don’t buy that you and wonder boy have been sneaking around since November. He’s not been to the clubhouse since the wedding and you haven’t left town. So, what’s going on, Mackenzie?”
I let out a long huff of air.
I want to protect Dane, but I’ve known Beth my entire life. Lying to her doesn’t feel good.
“I don’t know. I overheard him and Dax arguing with Maverick about us being here, about the Manchester chapter ignoring instructions from London. Maverick wasn’t happy. He threatened to take Dax’s patch for ignoring a direct command.”
Beth watches my hands, flinching when I get to the part about Dax.
“Anyway, Dane said they were protecting us because I’m his old lady. It was said as a slip away comment, I’m sure. I don’t think he actually means to claim me.”
Disappointment floods me as I think this. He’d called me his, and I want that in every way possible. I want to be his.
Beth’s eyes flare. “Is Dane crazy? You don’t just claim someone on a whim.”
My heart clenches at her words. Even Beth thinks this was done on the spur of the moment.
“He did what he thought would keep us safe.”
And I can’t even fault him for that. It was completely selfless. It does pose a problem, though. He’s publicly declared I’m his. Where do we go from here?
“Honey, I’m worried about you here,” Beth says and her wrinkled brow tells me she’s not lying. She is worried.
“I’m okay,” I assure her, even though I’m not sure if that’s true. Honestly, I have no idea what I am right now, other than confused and worried.
“I know Dane is trying to help us, but dragging you into the middle of this mess is not the best plan. What if Maverick discovers you lied to his face?”
A chill races through me. I never considered the repercussions of my actions. Not for a moment. All I was thinking about was keeping Dane safe.
I shrug. “I’ll worry about that if it happens.”
Beth sighs. “I don’t want you getting caught up in a mess between the Manchester and London Devils.”
I think that ship has sailed, but keep it to myself.
Liv returns and our conversation stalls. Not that Liv isn’t one of us, but we don’t have the same relationship me and Beth have. Besides, the less people who know about this, the better.
Liv is just settled down into her seat when the common room doors open and Dane sticks his head in.
“Kenz?” My name on his tongue does funny things to me, until I see how serious his expression is. “You got a minute?”
I glance at Beth whose lips are turned down and push up from my seat. I follow Dane out of the room and into the corridor. As soon as we step foot outside, away from prying eyes, he pushes me against the wall and takes my mouth. I melt against him, unable to stop the flow of desire I have for him, even in the face of whatever shit storm is about to come our way.
When he’s had his fill of me, he pulls back, his mouth scant inches from mine, our breaths mingling as we pant, both breathless.
“I’m sorry,” he says finally. “I didn’t intend to drag you into my mess.”
He knows small words, so I sign just the word “What?” rather than asking him what’s going on.
He seems to understand what I’m asking because he tips his head back to look at the ceiling, all the while holding my hands in his.
“I fucked up. I should never have claimed you like that.”
My heart stutters and stops. His words lance through my chest. “You don’t want me?” I sign.
I can tell he doesn’t understand, so I tug my phone from my pocket and retype the question, not caring how needy, how desperate I sound. I need answers from him.
“Baby, God no. I want you. That’s not in question.”
My heart rate picks up speed.
He kisses the side of my head. “I told you before you’re mine and that hasn’t changed. I want you, Mackenzie. Always.”
“Then why shouldn’t you have claimed me?” I question, letting the text-to-speak sound out the words.
“Like that. I shouldn’t have done it like that. You deserved better. I was backed into a corner with Mav, though. I did what I had to in order to keep you and those girls safe.” He leans his head against mine. “Do you want me to take it back?”
I shake my head vehemently. I absolutely do not want him to recant any of this.
“Good.” He lets out a breath that is filled with relief. “That’s good, baby. I’ll speak to your brothers—”
I shake my head again. If anyone is going to face them, it’ll be me.
“Mackenzie, I owe it to those men to tell them face-to-face what I’m doing with you, and to assure them that I’ll fucking take care of you. They need to know that.”
My stomach rolls. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
He throws his head back and full on belly laughs. “Darlin’, I’m not scared of your brothers.”
I imagine he’s not, but he should be—there’s three of them and only one of him.
He silences my thoughts by pressing his mouth to mine, stealing my doubts away with one gesture.
“It’ll be okay, little one. I promise.”
And I really believe him. Because although he’s only been in my life romantically for a short time, I’ve known the man a long time, and in that time Dane has always been honest with me, so when he tells me everything will be okay, I know it will.
I also want to believe it myself.
Chapter Fifteen
I’m sitting in the common room with the girls a few hours later when Dane comes to get me. Beth gives me a disapproving look, but no one else seems to notice or care that I’m heading off with Dane. Good. It means no one knows yet about our not so secret tryst. That’s good. This is unmarked territory I’m in and I have no idea how things are going to go down. All I know is with Dane at my side, I feel like I can do anything.
I follow Dane out into the corridor, a little perturbed by his demeanour. He drags a hand over his shaved head and pulls his mouth into a line.
“What’s wrong?” I type into the phone.
“Nothing, baby.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
He
scrubs a hand over his face. “I just got out of church. They were discussing us.”
An icy claw grips my heart.
“There has to be a unanimous decision on old ladies to welcome them into the Devils.”
“And was there?” I type.
His mouth turns down as he shakes his head. “No. Most of the boys are against it because it could cause difficulties between our clubs, but we also have no choice now because I told Maverick you’re already my old lady. We can’t go back on that without repercussions.”
I swallow bile as he continues to stroke up my arm. He doesn’t seem fazed by the fact his entire club is pissed at him, which unsettles me.
“Does that mean you have to… renounce the fact I’m your old lady?”
“Fuck no,” he exclaims and leans in closer, his mouth inches from mine. “I was never going back on that, baby. I meant those words when I said them to Mav.”
“But you’re in trouble.”
He laughs, brushing my hair behind my ear. “I’ve been in trouble most of my life, Kenz. This isn’t anything new.”
“They don’t want us together though.” That stings, I’ll admit it. I knew things might not be easy, but I never expected everyone to be so emphatically against us.
“They’re worried about what would happen if relations break down between us and the Saxons. They worry my loyalties might be split.”
“But both our clubs are allies, Dane. I don’t see that changing any time soon.”
“Nor do I, and nor do my brothers. They just worry it might make me unobjective. I have to prove to them where my loyalties lie.”
“How do you do that?”
“By continuing to put the club first.” He kisses the side of my head.
“Dane.” I let the warning in the word dance between us, clutching my phone tightly.
He sighs. “I took a pretty hefty fine for breaking our bylaws, and the boys get to kick my arse for what I did.”
My eyes flare. I’m no stranger to violence. I’ve lived in this world since I drew my first breath, but the thought of Dane being hurt because of me—
