by Lee McIntyre
Tugg leaned down and lifted Kate out of the chair in one movement. “Let’s worry about that later. Adam, come put your wife to bed.”
Adam followed behind as Tugg carried Kate down the hallway.
“Do you want to go back on the deck?” Adam said.
“Ears,” Tugg replied. “It’s better in the living room.”
Adam closed the sliding glass door and they sat down in opposite chairs, knees close. Grown men, the years dissolved between them.
“Now tell me everything, right from the beginning,” Tugg said. “All I know is what Kate just told me: Emma got taken this morning and they arrested you for trying to stop it. Fill me in on everything else.”
Adam began, but Tugg stopped him almost immediately. “So the nanny is dead?”
“Yes. You didn’t know that? That’s what started the whole damn thing this morning.”
“Tell me about it. Don’t leave anything out.”
The whole story took a surprisingly long time to tell. The original charges. The cops. The lawyer. Then Rachel’s death. When he got to the social worker coming this morning and his subsequent arrest, Adam started to get emotional.
“First time I got popped, I cried like a baby,” Tugg said. “And I hadn’t just lost a daughter. Then I toughened up. You’ve gotta be ice cold in lock-up. Just like you’ve gotta be ice cold right now, if you want to get Emma back.”
“What do you mean?”
Tugg knocked his boots against the floor. “Sounds to me like they think you killed the nanny.”
“Maybe they do. But I didn’t do it,” Adam said.
Tugg just looked at him. “Doesn’t matter. As long as they think you did, Emma won’t be coming home. And if that goes on too long, you won’t get her back at all.”
Adam swallowed hard. “So what do I do?”
“You’ve got to think two steps ahead of them. Can you get around the murder thing? They haven’t arrested you on that yet, which means they can’t prove it. But if they get any evidence, it’s over. They’ll come after you and Emma will be gone for good.”
“But there’s no evidence, Tugg.”
“You’d better hope not. That gives you a choice. Otherwise there’s only one way to go.”
“Which is?”
“You find Emma and run.”
“That’s what I tried to do this morning.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“What do you mean? Of course I did.”
“Sorry, bud, you didn’t. All you did this morning was trip over your own dick. You didn’t have things thought out. You weren’t committed.”
Adam felt a little pissed. “Tugg, I went crazy when they took her. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
Tugg held a finger to his temple. “Emotion makes you crazy. This morning you were pissed when they came for Emma and you got emotional. How did that work out for you?”
If the question had come from anyone else, Adam would have been furious.
“You’ve got to channel your emotion,” Tugg continued. “Make it work for you.”
“Yeah right.”
“You’ve done it before. I was there.”
Adam shrugged. “So you think there was a way to stop this?” He couldn’t help the resentment creeping into his voice.
“Yes, and so do you,” Tugg said. “You had a decision to make this morning about whether to fight this in court or stop it right then. Instead you did just enough to get yourself arrested. If you want to fight this in court, fine. Do that. But if you wanted to stop them from taking Emma, then you shouldn’t have been thinking about anything else. Either let the system work or try to intervene, but don’t land halfway between. You’re conflicted.”
“Conflicted? Over what? They were taking my daughter! Of course I wanted to stop them.”
Tugg glared at Adam with the love of a father who had just watched his all-star son miss a dunk shot. “Did you? Were you prepared to give up everything else to stop them? So why did you go for the social worker first, then, instead of the cops?”
“And you would have done better?”
“Yeah. So could you.” Tugg stood up and grabbed a heavy metal bowl off the coffee table. “One, two.” He swung it in a wide arc against two couch cushions. “A good shot in the skull, and the gun wouldn’t even leave the holster. Shock and awe. Then you get the social worker. And then you run.”
Adam looked down. “That’s what Kate said.”
“Good girl. She gets it.”
Adam shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Water under the bridge, I guess,” he said.
“Not really. You’re still not ready.”
“Ready for what?”
Tugg exhaled through his nostrils. “Listen, Adam. Why did you save me that day when we were kids?”
Adam frowned. “I don’t know. I had to. There wasn’t anything to decide.”
“Exactly,” Tugg said. “You had nothing more to lose. Well, now you’ve lost something. Do you want to get it back? Or do you want to keep on losing?”
“Okay, so I wasn’t thinking when I killed those skinheads. But I wasn’t thinking this morning when I went after the social worker, either. And look where that got me.”
“Wrong,” Tugg said. “You were thinking too much. But you didn’t decide.” Tugg hesitated. “It’s been a lot of years, Adam. You’ve got more to lose now. A wife. A house. A life. Like I said, you’re conflicted. But you have to decide. Do you want to get Emma back or not?”
“Yes!”
Tugg nodded. “Good. Then you’ve got to be prepared to do whatever it takes. Fight it in court first. But if that doesn’t work, then you’ve got to be ready to go with Plan B. Immediately. No hesitation.”
“Plan B?”
Tugg shot forward in his seat. “Kill the cops. Kill the social worker. Kiss your wife goodbye, take Emma and run.”
Tugg’s eyes were wild. Adam extracted himself from the chair and stood up.
“Why is all that necessary? Why do I need to lose everything else to get Emma back? I didn’t hurt her. I just want my life back.”
Tugg leaned back in his chair. “You haven’t lost enough yet. You can’t see what I’m talking about. You still think that if you’re a good boy it’s all going to work out.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m a systems guy. And that system has always sort of worked for me.”
“Well now it’s not—”
“But what you’re saying will land me in prison,” Adam said. “I got lucky with that once. I won’t be so lucky again. I can’t risk it.”
“Conflicted.”
“Fuck you, buddy.”
“Fuck you back. I’m just telling you the truth. You don’t want to hear it, but I’m here with you anyway. Just like always.”
Adam was still mad, but when he looked at Tugg he could see that he had hurt him.
How could Adam be mad at a man who wanted nothing more on Earth than to see him safe and happy? Who understood and accepted him, even when he thought he was wrong?
Adam’s anger dissolved. He could not argue with such total devotion. He walked over to Tugg, who stood up to meet him.
“You don’t need to say it,” Tugg said, embracing his friend. “I know it all.”
Adam held it together as best he could, then pulled back and gave Tugg a weak smile. “Is that a Glock in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
Tugg laughed. “Both,” he said. “But I must be really glad.” Both hands disappeared into his jacket, where he drew two Glock handguns.
“Regular and bite-sized,” said Adam.
“A G23 and a G27. Had to fit under my jacket on the bike.”
“Is that all?”
“Well, of course I always carry this.” Tugg reached down to his boot and withdrew a giant knife. “Ka-Bar. Don’t leave home without it.”
“Done yet?”
“A very, very tasteful cut-down Remington 870 in the ditty bag on the back of the bike, along with some surveillance e
quipment and a couple of others things, just for fun.”
Adam stared at his friend. “Tugg, let’s sit down for a minute.”
“What?”
“I need to ask you something.”
“So ask.”
“When did you get here?”
“What do you mean? You heard me pull up a while ago.”
“No, I mean when did you get back to Oregon? Were you here Wednesday night?”
Tugg stepped back. “Hey. What the fuck? You know I’m a peaceful man. After what happened to us all those years ago? And in the Air Force? I still live with that, man. I live with it every day. And I know you do too, Adam. Every goddamned choice you make in life you live with. And you pay for it too. Sooner or later.”
“That isn’t a no.”
“Fucking hell, Adam. What do you want me to say? Would I kill someone if you asked me to? Yes. Did you ask me to? No.”
Adam nodded. “This has to be done my way, Tugg. I’m so glad to see you I could cry, but you can’t make me do things I’m not ready for. I’ve got a life now where I can’t just —”
“Too much to lose.”
“Yes, you’re right.” Adam let go. “Too much to lose. I don’t just want Emma back, I want her back and happy. Not afraid all the time. Not on the run. I want her to be with me and her mother. Can’t you see that?”
Adam saw that Tugg got it. He didn’t have to push anymore. Tugg had no wife or kids. All he had was Adam. Tugg’s life was simple. His priorities were different. Take shit from no one and make Adam happy. It must be nice to be Tugg. But it must be awful too. Tugg had already lost so much that he must be used to looking for a plan B. But that wasn’t Adam’s life. Plan A had to work.
Adam heard the sound first. “Kate?”
Adam and Tugg raced down the hallway.
She was sitting up in bed, half crouched over on her side, with a cascade of vomit down her front. “Adam, it won’t stop. I feel horrible. What’s happening?”
Tugg grabbed the phone as Adam ran to her.
“Ambulance is coming,” Tugg said. “Five minutes.”
Chapter 10
Adam’s ass was still vibrating from the rocket-launch motorcycle ride all the way up the twists and turns to the top of Pill Hill. Tugg was sitting on one of the plastic seats facing the door of the Emergency Room, not really reading the “Do You Have Mesothelioma?” brochure he was holding in his hands.
Adam was at the intake window for the third time, to see if there was any news. “I’m sorry, but it’s been seven hours.”
“Yes, Mr.Grammaticus,” said the pleasant-faced woman at the window. “Your wife is being treated. She was agitated, but she’s doing fine now. The doctor will call for you in a few minutes.”
“That’s what you said an hour ago.”
The woman forced a smile. “She’s getting the best care possible. Don’t worry. We’ll call you just as soon as we can.”
“Why can’t I see her?”
“She’s in x-ray.”
Adam returned to his seat and looked over at Tugg.
“It is what it is,” Tugg said.
Adam thought about changing seats, so that he could avoid the people who looked most contagious. Woman with a baby. Old man rubbing his leg. Teenager with eyes closed and a coat up around his neck.
Tugg’s strategy was different. Back to the wall, eyes on the door. Broader field of vision, wider field of fire.
“Mr.Grammaticus? Adam Grammaticus?”
“Yes?”
Adam was up like a shot. Tugg nodded for him to go. Mesothelioma had given way to Human Papilloma Virus.
Kate was in a little curtained area just off the corridor. Probably a better sign than being in one of the ten beds arranged in a circle behind sliding glass doors around the nurses’ station. When the nurse led him in, Adam was relieved. Kate was sitting up, face washed and hair brushed, talking to the doctor in quiet tones.
“Is she all right?”
“Yes, quite all right,” the doctor said, in a sing-song voice, his blue surgical cap in his hands. No handshake. Probably for the best.
Adam looked at Kate, who actually smiled at him. What the hell?
Adam sat down and took Kate’s hand. “So what was it?” He looked at her carefully, searching for clues, then turned to the doctor.
“Was it related to the MS? Or the tranquilizer? We’ve been under a lot of stress lately. I don’t know if she told you. But maybe it’s something worse. What did you see on the x-ray?”
“We didn’t do an x-ray.”
“Why not?”
“It didn’t seem prudent after the blood work came back,” said the doctor, smiling.
“What the hell?” Adam said. “Someone had better tell me.”
“I’m two months pregnant,” Kate said.
Adam looked at the doctor, who was nodding and raising his eyebrows.
“No real danger,” the doctor said. “Of course the pregnancy is high-risk due to the MS, but we can deal with that. I understand you have another child, so you’ve been down this road before. There’s no reason that someone with MS can’t have a normal full-term pregnancy.”
Kate smiled through some tears and nodded.
“Could this explain her physical problems over the last couple of months?” Adam asked.
“We don’t know,” the doctor said. “MS is a little unpredictable. Some women have worse symptoms during pregnancy, and then things improve after delivery. That doesn’t always happen, but it happens often enough. We’ll have to see.”
“I could go back to the canes?”
“Yes, maybe. I can’t make any promises. But someday soon maybe you’ll be out of your wheelchair and back on the floor playing with your kids.”
Adam felt a catch in his throat.
“I’ll leave you to talk.”
Except for the beeps and clicks on the other side of the curtain, Adam and Kate were alone.
Kate leaned forward and Adam held her. “Adam, what are we going to do? This had to happen now? Really? You remember how tough it was carrying Emma. And with everything we’ve got ahead of us to get Emma back —”
Adam nodded. “You leave it to me. We’ll get Emma back. I don’t know how or when, but I’m going to get all of us back under one roof together if it kills me.”
“Do you think that’s possible?”
“It has to be. Emma’s going to be a big sister.”
Kate muffled a sob and smiled.
Adam’s phone buzzed. “Bet it’s Tugg,” he mumbled.
“Adam? It’s Steve Carnap. Listen, I’ve got some good news. We’ve got a hearing before Judge Gordon on Thursday. I know him well. He’s a very law-and-order type, but I think that cuts our way on this one. He’s a strong brake on government over-reach, and he doesn’t like to interfere with parental rights. We couldn’t have done better.”
“You’re sure?” Adam looked at Kate, who must have overheard. He saw the hope reflected back in her eyes.
“Yes, it’s set. As you know, there will be a couple of witnesses on the other side. I suppose the cops will testify. But those charges were already dropped. And of course Lisa Castro will be there, but what does she have at this point? A two-year-old hospital intake form? An unsubstantiated allegation from a witness who can’t appear? And suspicion on a murder charge against someone with an airtight alibi? It looks promising.”
“You’re a miracle worker,” Adam said. “You can do anything.”
“But I don’t make house calls.”
“Your only flaw.” Adam laughed.
“Other than my fee?”
“Well, there’s always that.” Carnap was laughing now too. “Let me hang up so I can tell Kate.” Adam closed the phone and Kate embraced him.
“I heard every word. Now go and tell Tugg. He’s still waiting out there by himself. He doesn’t know whether I’m alive or dead. What’s he been doing all this time?”
“Trying to figure out if he should get th
e HPV vaccine when he turns 13.”
Kate smiled again. “Go.”
Adam breezed through the maze of gurneys and IVs and pressed the automatic door pad with his elbow.
When he stepped through the double doors, Adam saw that the room was crowded. It was morning.
Woman with a baby. Old man. Teenager sleeping under a coat.
Where was Tugg?
Chapter 11
Lisa Castro looked at the spreadsheet on her computer and tried to solve the puzzle one more time. If they transferred four more kids from The Longlane Home and put them in foster care, that would free up the beds for kids with special needs, because they had more —
Wanda stuck her head in. “Visitor for you. Want me to stay or go?”
“Who is it?”
“I think it’s Rambo,” Wanda said. “He says he wants to volunteer as a foster parent.”
“What?”
Castro stood up and peeked out her door at the reception area. “Holy fuck. He just walked in off the street with no appointment?”
“He asked for you by name. Do you recognize him?”
Castro peeked out the door again. “Yes, I think I may have seen him when I had the flu over the winter. ‘Sons of Anarchy,’ that’s it. All I could do was watch TV.”
Wanda smirked. “Maybe he’s single.”
“Not my type.”
“A wall of muscle with a heart of gold? What’s not your type?”
Castro smiled. “Wanda, you’re the devil. Just get out, okay? Show him back, but leave the door cracked open. This is probably a waste of time, but at least I can walk him through the application. God knows we need more foster parents.” Castro turned back to her desk and tried to look busy when she heard the tap.
He was even taller up close. And she’d just upgraded him to The Fast and the Furious.
“I’m Tugg Morgan.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr.Morgan. I’m Lisa Castro.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m here to see if I can sign up to work as a foster parent for Emma Grammaticus.”
Castro was stunned. How did he know the name of a child in foster care? Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to meet with him alone after all. “Who are you again? And how do you know that name?”
