She ignored him and swung those big hazel eyes of hers up to me. “What kind of trouble are you in?”
Her concern weighed heavily in her gaze.
“The warning kind,” I said, not wanting to tell her all of it.
She nodded and turned to wave the girl over.
“Guys, this is Tori. She’s the Freshman ambassador. She came to see how things were going with me. I told her all is well.”
There was heavy emphasis in the last part of what she’d just said and in the look she targeted at each one of us.
August was the first with a hand out. “I’m August—”
“Farrow,” Tori finished.
She’d done her homework.
“Nice to meet you.” Their handshake was brief, and she turned to Cooper, who was a little pink in the cheeks from her attention. “You must be Cooper.”
Their greeting was a little longer, and Cooper seemed reluctant to let go of her hand. I extended mine as she faced me.
“I’m Shepard Connelly.”
“Yes, you lived with them.”
She had done her research.
“Yes,” I said.
Her light brown eyes held mine, and I detected interest. August must have picked up on it too because he groaned.
“Well, I should be going,” she began and reached in a folder, pulling out a small card. “You can give me a call if you need anything, or I’d be happy to give you all a tour if you haven’t already had one.”
Unlike Lacey, there was something about Tori. She wasn’t Finley, but maybe she was the answer to getting over a girl I couldn’t have.
I tapped the card in my palm. “Yeah, a tour would be cool.”
She nodded and said her goodbyes to Finley before exiting through the automated front doors.
When I turned my head forward again, everyone was staring at me.
“Tour, you lucky bastard,” August said with a huge smirk on his face.
My gaze landed on Finley. She just rolled her eyes without a hint of jealousy, only annoyance sparked there.
Move on, Shep. She doesn’t want you. She likes Billy. I clenched my jaw as I held my aggravation in. It was time to move on.
13
finley
A week had passed fast. It was a warm night. I stared up at the sky watching the stars as the melody of the night serenaded me.
I glanced over when the door opened, and Finn rolled out. I hadn’t seen much of him. He was busy preparing for his class and working on his research. He had more of a life than I did.
“Oh,” he said in surprise.
“You expected to be alone?” I teased.
“No, actually I thought you were Shepard.”
My forehead wrinkled. “Why Shep?”
“He comes out at night and plays.”
So that was where he’d been doing it. I’d missed his music.
“When I heard someone come out and didn’t hear notes, I thought maybe he’d want to talk,” he continued.
I wondered where Shep was on this Friday night. Then again, he was probably out with August finding girls or with Lacey. “Why are you out here this late?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” I admitted.
He gave me a thoughtful smile.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
I had a million I wanted to ask him. I envied how comfortable he was in his own skin. I felt like such a fish out of water in most situations where there was a confidence about him I wished he could bottle and give to me.
“How’s being on the football team going?”
The week had gone by in a blur. “Good.”
“No problems. None of the guys have given you any trouble?”
“No.” Then I corrected myself. “Not really. Most of the guys seem fine with me.”
It had been hard learning the routine of the morning workout. And no shocker, football practice was far more grueling than soccer practice. I’d thought I’d been in shape. But I had mad respect for the sport, especially with all the aches my muscles felt.
“Did you play on your high school team?” he asked.
“No. When I was little, Mom fought my dad to let me play flag football with my brothers. As we got older, when my brothers began playing tackle, Dad wouldn’t allow me to participate. Somehow Mom fought that battle until my arm got broken. After that, I just played with my brothers and their friends. I did play in the annual powder puff games. The other girls weren’t ever much of a challenge.”
He laughed. I didn’t mention specifically how Dad had stopped me from trying out for the team in high school.
“My brother played and was really good. Though he didn’t love it all that much,” Finn said.
I thought about what football meant in our house.
“In our family, it’s like a religion. My dad pushed my brothers hard to be the best.”
“Why is that?”
I glanced at my hands, remembering all the time he spent with my brothers and totally ignored me.
“Dad might have ended up in the NFL if not for a severe patellar fracture his freshman year in college. That’s a—”
“Kneecap injury,” he finished.
“Yes. He had it surgically repaired, but he was never the same. He transferred from here and went to Harvard.”
“He went here?”
I nodded. “Yep. But you wouldn’t know it. He didn’t want August going here.”
He eyed me curiously. I guessed I didn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice.
“Dads can be interesting. You could say my dad’s favorite is Sawyer over me and my oldest brother Tomas, and probably because out of all of us, Sawyer could play football.”
I blew out a breath, feeling like for the first time someone could really understand my childhood.
“We’re two peas in a pod.”
He laughed with good humor. “Yeah, you’re a girl, and I’m a cripple.” When my eyebrows shot up, he said, “It’s okay to say it. Football isn’t exactly ever going to be my career, and Dad measured his love for us based on our athletic abilities. And well, I get a pass because I wasn’t born this way. Dad actually thinks Tomas is the biggest disappointment because he’s gay.”
I shook my head. “Well, your dad sounds a lot like mine, measuring his children by their dicks or lack thereof.”
“Or where they stick it.” We laughed. “I think Dad thought mine was broken.”
He didn’t elaborate, just chuckled to himself, and I wasn’t touching that topic with a ten-foot pole. Still, it felt good to talk about it. I couldn’t with August because of his instant inclination to fight, and Cooper had his own issues with Dad.
“So namesake, why are you really out here and not out having fun?”
“Finn and Finley,” I accidently said out loud.
His brow arched. I shook my head as my thoughts briefly shifted in wonder to him. He was really cute and appeared almost out of place in his chair. He looked capable of picking me up. It was a testament to the facility in England he’d been living in before he came back to the states to live here.
“Just thinking about our names,” I corrected, feeling my cheeks burning.
“Are you just avoiding my question?”
I shrugged, my thoughts returning to Shepard.
“Some find me easy to talk to, like your cousin, Ashton.” Not everyone knew that Ashton was our brother, and for my parents’ sake, we left everyone in the dark about how my aunt had donated her eggs so that we could be born. “You can trust me to hold your confidence and give it to you straight.”
Ash, he was complicated. I’d just wanted to hug him the first time we’d met. Something he didn’t welcome. I wondered if I’d ever know just what happened to him. I’d tried to break his shell to learn more about him and his mother. I had a curiosity for my aunt I’d been unable to deny. He’d persuaded me not to meet her. Our family history was bey
ond complex.
“So tell me, Finley, what guy has you sitting out in the dark alone?”
Though my eyes had never left his, I stopped looking inward and focused on him. What was the harm talking to him? A guy’s advice could be helpful. I couldn’t ask my brothers or they would find out it’s Shepard, the object who occupied my heart.
“There is a guy.” It was like the crickets were excited I planned to unburden myself as their night song grew louder, or maybe I’d imagined it.
“And?”
I leaned my back on the wall and stared out into the empty backyard.
“He doesn’t see me, at least not as more than a friend.”
I buttoned up thinking I’d said too much. A friend. I half laughed. That had to be the biggest clue that I was referring to Shepard.
“Are you sure about that?” he asked.
“About what?”
“That he’s not interested. We guys aren’t exactly poets.”
Shepard was. His songs were like windows into my soul.
“I’m not exactly his type.”
“It’s his loss.”
I laughed. “You sound like my mom. She said God gave me exactly what I needed.”
My gaze dropped to my chest, and I closed my eyes, hopping he thought I was being introspective and not judging my chest size.
“I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but you are a very pretty girl, Finley. Don’t let any guy take that away from you. We all have flaws. If I focused on mine, I would have swallowed a bottle of pills years ago. Life doesn’t always give us what we want, but your mom is right. It gives us what we need.”
To take in some of the heaviness that floated in like a storm cloud, I said, “Deep,” and giggled some.
“I can be.” His grin lifted the mood. “You should tell him.”
I snapped my head up and shook it. “That would only make me look like an idiot when he tells me we can only be friends.”
“Love makes idiots out of all of us when you think about it. When you love, you basically give someone else power over you.”
I snorted. “To hurt.”
Solemn eyes held mine. “And to heal.” He was quiet for a minute. “I think about my brother and Ash. They were both a little broken. Then they came here.” I knew about Ash, but Sawyer always seemed so together. “Everything changed for my brother. I’ve never seen him so happy.”
He’d spoken so wistfully, I wondered if he’d come here to be healed and not just physically.
“Ash does seem different,” I admitted.
He still didn’t welcome my affection. I’d been a hugger, but after Ash, I was more cautious of invading other’s personal space.
“Love. It can break you, but it can also make you,” he said.
I got to my feet, took the few steps toward Finn, and leaned down to kiss his cheek. For good measure, I gave into the urge and wrapped my arms around him. His good arm gave my back a squeeze before I moved back.
“Thanks for listening,” I said.
Some of the pressure I’d been feeling eased.
“No problem, and anytime.”
I held open the door, but he waved me off. I left with so much to think about. I had to decide if it was worth the risk to tell Shepard my feelings.
14
shepard
The door burst open, and August plowed through it, stilling my fingers on my guitar.
“So what happened last night?” he asked.
I’d hung out with Cooper most of the night wondering where Finley was and who she was with. When Billy showed up without her, I’d been relieved.
“Nothing, I just wasn’t feeling it,” I admitted.
“Well, you better be feeling it tonight.”
“August,” I said on a sigh.
He picked up my notebook. “Who is she? You’ve been off your game since we arrived.”
When he started thumbing through the pages, I reached for it only for him to hold it out of my reach.
“Don’t,” I said when he started reading some of the lyrics.
I put my guitar down determined not to have someone else looking through my private thoughts.
“Your eyes are like fire, your eyes are like gold,” he read.
He danced out of my grasp, and I got to my feet. When I spotted Finley in the open doorway, August noticed her too and rushed over, his face alight with amusement.
“Hey, check out the new songs Shep is writing.” He glanced up at me, turning pages. “They are new? This notebook looks new.”
I rubbed a hand over my head, not sure what to do.
“Who is Cricket? Is she the chick you’re into?”
I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off Finley. She glanced at my scrawled words then up at me. I swallowed the cotton that had formed in the back of my throat. For a moment, I thought why not just confess? It had been eating me up.
“You’ve been pulling my chain about Lacey. She’s the only girl you’ve been with that even remotely has those colored eyes.”
Angry he’d come to the wrong conclusion, I finally closed the distance as he continued to pour out my soul by reading more out loud. I snatched the book from his hands. Unfortunately, he had a grip on one of the pages, and it almost tore completely out before he finally let go.
The disappointment in her face muted any confession on my mind.
“Lacey,” she spat. “I shouldn’t be surprised. She is your type.”
Finley turned and made for her room as August continued to hoot at my humiliation like it was the funniest thing ever.
“Of course she is,” August agreed, but by then Finley had shut her door.
When August stepped out of my room to follow after Finley, I closed and locked it before he returned.
“Aww, man, come on,” he pleaded.
I ignored his muted voice and picked up my headphones, unable to make my own music at the moment. The noise cancelling headphones my mom had gotten me for Christmas weren’t Bose or Beats, but they did the trick. I hit shuffle on my playlist to drown out my latest failure when it came to Finley Farrow.
She thought I was into Lacey, which would only serve Billy’s interest in Finley. This time I couldn’t fight my way out of a problem. I stared at my bruised knuckles and thought about the only good thing my dad had passed along to me. He’d taught me how to throw a punch and duck one. A lot of good that did me when it was my words that had pushed her further away.
It was over a week later when a soft knock sounded on my door. It could only be one person. I leapt to my feet. She had been avoiding me for nearly two weeks. I hated the distance between us.
The door swung with a whoosh of air. On the other side stood the prettiest girl I’d ever laid eyes on. She barely met my eyes, still my heart kicked up into a gallop.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She finally lifted her chin and met my gaze squarely.
“I know you’re busy, but August and Cooper aren’t around.”
So I hadn’t been her first choice . . . I tried not to let that bother me.
“Yeah, they went to see that new Star Wars movie,” I said.
“You didn’t go?”
I braced one hand on the doorframe and shoved the other in my back pocket to stop myself from touching her. She was too close, and I could almost smell the sunshine on her skin.
“I thought it might be a good chance to work on my music with no one home.”
Her smile brightened.
“I’m sorry I missed it. I love to hear you play.”
As her cheeks pinkened, I wanted to grab my notebook and write down a new line for my current song. Something along the lines of the way you look at me is prettier than any rose that has ever bloomed.
“That’s one vote, but somehow I think you’ve been outvoted by August and even Coop.” Her grin turned a little sad, and she nodded. “So what’s up?”
“I wondered if you’
d have time to go help me practice my kickoffs.”
I wondered what had happened that made her want extra time.
“Yeah, sure. Now?”
“If you can’t, later is fine.”
“No.” If she only knew all she had to do was ask and I’d jump. “Give me a minute to change.”
Those lips I desperately wanted to kiss again curled only slightly, giving me pause. Something was up.
“Okay, I’ll grab my cleats,” she said.
She turned so abruptly her bound hair swung, nearly hitting me as I stepped forward to stop her.
“Why are your cleats here?”
All equipment was generally left in our lockers so no one would forget it at home. The equipment manager would make sure everything was in working order by next game day.
A flash of panic crossed her lovely features.
“Tell me,” I demanded.
Her shoulders slumped. “It’s nothing.”
I shook my head. “Just tell me.”
When her downcast eyes refused to meet mine, my fist balled. Had Bryant said or done something else?
“At first it just seemed like practical jokes on the new girl,” she began.
“At first?”
I tipped her chin up so I could see into her eyes. I needed to know if she was telling me everything or holding back.
“Yeah, little things like a jock strap hung in my locker or a picture of a girl in too tight, too short football gear from a magazine posted in there.”
That wasn’t so bad, but there was more.
“What else?” I asked.
She tried to turn her head, but I held her firm.
“What else?” I almost whispered, urging her on.
“Tassels put on my pads.” She focused on my jaw as I bit off a curse. They’d most likely added them where her nipples would be. “It was funny, really. But it was the first thing that got me in trouble. I couldn’t get off all the glue.”
“Was that it?”
Slowly her head turned side to side. “A few days ago, I was rushed to get my gear and didn’t pay attention that my cleats had been switched. They were so close to the same color, and I’ve worn soccer cleats for so long, I didn’t notice they weren’t my football ones.”
Songs For Cricket Page 7
