I turned around, but Shepard was gone. I was not only disappointed but a little angry, too. The bus wasn’t going back to the hotel. We’d taken all our things. So I wouldn’t see him until we got home.
34
shepard
There had been many reasons why I disappeared into the crowd when I spotted the cameras heading Finley’s way. I’d thought about them during the six-hour drive back to Oklahoma as her dad’s words also replayed over and over.
He said all the right things to make me question my selfish reasons for keeping her and not letting her go. I parked the car in the lot by the football complex, but I didn’t stay. I walked home and hoped Finley wouldn’t hate me.
She found me in my room sitting at the end of the bed staring out into the night when she had arrived home. Her steps were silent as she approached. When her feet came into view, I folded my hands behind my neck and finally looked up.
“I’m—”
She didn’t give me a chance to apologize.
“Why did you leave?” she snapped. “You think I would actually care what my dad thought?”
I let my hands fall. “And you think that’s why I left?”
There might’ve been a little annoyance in my tone, but I wasn’t mad at her, more at myself.
“Why else did you disappear and not return my text messages?”
“I was driving. I couldn’t respond, and I did when I got back.”
“Yeah, to tell me you left the car. What the hell?”
She made a move to breeze out as fast as she’d come in. I snagged her by the arm and tumbled her in my lap. The stubbornness in her lip was too enticing for me not to kiss her.
“No,” she said. “You’re not getting off that easy. Let me go.”
I loosened my hold. “Will you let me explain first?”
She stopped fighting me and crossed her arms.
“I couldn’t be on camera with you, and you know the reasons why. I’m a cancer to your future.”
That was the truth no matter what we wanted.
“No, I don’t accept that. You are a part of my future. And it’s my decision who I associate with.” Her brow lifted as if she was waiting for me to dispute that. “You will get through this. You’ll see. One day we’ll laugh about it.”
I seriously doubted that.
“Whatever Finn, Sawyer, Shelly, and the lawyer are doing is keeping my name being linked to my dad’s out of the paper. But it will happen. I’ve already found a mention of me in connection to an investigation of a rape here at Layton. The only reason it isn’t a bigger story is because of that hurricane heading to the Gulf. But eventually, the weather won’t be the story they chase, especially when they can tie me back to the guy who made national headlines years ago.”
One thing worse than making her cry was seeing the pity in her eyes. When her hand landed on my cheek, I let my eyes fall shut.
“I may have something,” she said. “I forgot because, well, you distracted me when you arrived at my hotel door.”
There was something about the look in her eye that made me believe I wouldn’t like what she said next.
“I thought you promised to stay away from Lacey,” I said.
The cheerleaders were there, and I’d been lucky not to run into her. August had surely been leaving his room to find either the girl he’d been hooking up with or maybe even Emily. Something I would have known if we were still friends.
“I didn’t,” she said and then proceeded with her story.
I had to bite back a curse when she mentioned Billy.
“I haven’t had a chance to call him yet. But if she did this to him, maybe he might have some advice.”
I laughed bitterly. “You said he left school. How could this Lonnie possibly help?”
She shrugged. “It’s worth a try.”
I tugged her closer and let my hand glide up her ribcage. That was when she rolled off my lap in a giggling heap on the floor.
“Not yet. I’m gross.”
I reached for her, but she slid away. “Did you shower after the game?”
I wasn’t sure where they’d put her to accommodate that.
“Yeah, August and Cooper kept watch. Talk about awkward. I don’t think I’ve ever showered that fast. But, I need to shower off the long bus ride. You could join me.”
I glanced over at the open door in time to spot August walk by and cover his ears. Finley turned a lovely shade of red. She got to her feet fast and ran to her room. I got up and prepared to follow, but August was still in the hallway.
Even though he’d stood up for me twice in less than forty-eight hours, the gulf between us was deeper than the distance that separated us.
I didn’t waste words.
“I love her,” I said, not giving him a chance to cut me off. “Maybe I always have.”
“When?” was his one-word question.
“After we moved away, when I finally got to come over and hang out, I realized how much I’d missed her too.”
“So you’ve been secretly pining away for my sister all this time?”
I lifted my shoulders in defeat and let them fall. “I knew how your dad felt about me and how you would cut me off if you knew. And I was right.”
“But you did it anyway.”
“I didn’t do anything until it became clear that I could lose her for good. And I’m sorry, but the thought of losing her forever trumped everything.”
When his hand lifted, I braced myself for him to take another swing at me, which I planned to dodge. But he only scrubbed a hand over his mouth.
“If you ever expect me to be okay with this, I won’t be.”
I’d thought a lot about this moment.
“I’m not asking you to be. If you want me to give her up, the answer is no. This isn’t your decision. I just hope that you know I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“And if your shit lands on her?”
He didn’t have to specify what shit. The link to my dad was a valid question.
“I’ll never let that happen. I will walk away before I ever let my shit land on her.”
He nodded and walked passed me. The chill I felt as he passed wasn’t half as bad as Finley’s cool stare from the bathroom doorway. I opened my mouth to explain, because she’d heard me say that last bit, and her words replayed in my head. It’s not your decision who I associate with. The door closed between us.
I knocked my fist on the door, and when she ignored me, I hit the closest wall in frustration before going back to my room. I took out my guitar only to recall my notebook was in police evidence. It was another reason I was right about this. She didn’t see the ramifications of if we were found out. But she would.
When I heard her room door open, I was too late to catch her. She’d already locked it and didn’t answer it when I knocked. I went in my room and got the only card I could play.
With guitar in hand, I started strumming the chords of my song to her.
She didn’t open the door until the last chord. She looked so fragile and small with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.
I held my breath, hoping that with one sentence, I hadn’t totally fucked up my future with her.
35
finley
There wasn’t anything sexier than seeing Shepard stand there, guitar in hand, bare feet, wearing well-worn jeans that were faded and frayed in spots from use and not because they were bought that way. The steel-gray shirt was in the same shape but fit his style.
His repentant look almost made me crack, but I had things to say.
“I thought we just talked about your situation and how you can’t push me away because of it.”
If I’d guessed he’d sport a sheepish expression, I was wrong. There was more than a little determination in the set of his chin.
“I love you too much to let you go down with this ship,” he said.
I stepped forward close
enough to smell the faint soapy scent on his skin because I wanted him not to miss a single word.
“I’m captain of my own ship, and if I want to go down with yours, I will.”
He shifted his guitar so that it hung from the strap across his back.
“You can’t expect me to watch you ruin your life.”
I pressed my splayed fingers on his chest and shoved a little. Damn him for being so solid, he didn’t budge. However, I’d made my point.
“The key word is my life. And if you and I are together, we’re in it for all the good and all the bad.”
He caught my hand and brought it to his heart after kissing it.
“I have loved you almost half my life. And I watched you like a brother because it was what was best for you. I can and will do it again if necessary.”
I snatched my hand away. “You aren’t my brother. And I’m tired of every man around me deciding what’s best for me.” I took a breath. “Though I appreciate your gallantry, I don’t need a knight. I need a king.” When his brow lifted with the curl of his mouth, I amended my statement. “A king’s consort.”
“Consort?” he asked, trying to maintain a straight face.
Damn him, I found myself smiling though I was serious.
“Yes, consort. I’m not bowing down to anyone. I need someone to stand beside me with not more power but equal.”
“Or less?” he teased, because a consort wasn’t exactly on equal footing.
I got serious because this was important to me even though it would be hard to walk away.
“If you can’t let me stand with you, you should walk away now, Shepard.”
Then as hard as it was, I forced myself to turn away. I didn’t take more than two steps when he spun me around, and my back hit the wall. His fingers tangled in my hair before his lips crashed to mine.
Victory tasted sweet on his tongue. I had no idea where Cooper was, but Shepard didn’t seem to care. He lifted me off my feet, my back gliding up the wall. I was breathless when he moved me from the hall wall across to his room, kicking the door shut with his feet.
Once he let me down, I took charge. It was me shoving him to the bed after he took his guitar off. I freed him from his pants and straddled him, sinking down and riding us both home. He’d gripped me so tight as I held his gaze, using him to get off. There was something to be said for make-up sex.
The next morning, I drew circles on his chest as I dreamed up a plan to confront Lacey. I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise because there was no way I’d let him go down for her lies.
“Morning,” he said.
“You know, you should play at an open mic.”
He frowned down at me. “Where did that come from?”
“My dad’s wrong. I mean, if you want to be a music teacher, that’s great. But if you want more, you’re that good, and the world should hear you.”
“What if he’s right? Do you know how hard it is to get a music contract?”
“Probably as hard as it is for a girl to play on a college football team.”
“Point taken.”
“Besides, you can put yourself out there on YouTube. So many people have become famous just doing that.”
A part of me feared what would happen if he did make it big. Shepard was gorgeous. Add to that his talent, and women from the covers of magazines would throw themselves at him. I couldn’t compete with that.
But who would I be if I let my fear hold him back? I wouldn’t be me. I loved him so much, I would cheer him on to reach his full potential no matter the cost to me.
After forcing ourselves out of bed to get breakfast downstairs, I’d excused myself to dig up anything I could on Lonnie. The articles on him were few, kind of like they were for Shepard. As bad as Lacey’s bite was, I assumed there would be a bigger splash about her accusations in the press.
It took a while, but I eventually found out where he grew up. There was a lot of local news about him. He’d been a big deal on his high school football team. From there, I was able to trace an online phone book to locate a phone number and address.
I ran into Shepard’s room, surprising him.
“You look happy. Did you find a project for your class?” he asked.
I hadn’t, but this was more exciting news to share. “No, I found Lonnie.”
With my phone open, I began to dial the number listed for Lonnie. He covered my hand to stop me.
“You’re just going to call him?”
I didn’t answer because I’d already hit call. The phone rang over the speaker.
“Hello,” a male voice said.
I glanced at Shepard but took the lead. “Hi, I’m looking for Lonnie.”
“Who is this?” he sounded suspicious.
“My name is Beatrice.” I wasn’t lying. I had used my first name because I didn’t know who I was speaking to or the reception I’d get.
“Yeah, so why do you want to talk to Lonnie?”
“I want to talk to him about Lacey Foster.”
When the line went dead, I realized I’d said the wrong thing. I stared at the phone as I called back, but no one answered.
“You tried,” Shepard said.
However, I recognized the disappointment on his face.
“Don’t worry about this. You have to work on your project. Can I help you with anything? Research?” he offered.
I bit back frustration and answered him. “Thank you, but I need to figure out if this is what I want to do. So I have to go about this by myself.”
He nodded, and I trudged back to my room.
I was researching an abandoned warehouse near my hometown when my phone pinged with an incoming video call. It came from an unknown caller, but my gut told me to answer.
My screen filled with a good-looking guy with blue eyes and a ball cap covering what looked like dark hair.
“Beatrice?”
He resembled the pictures I’d seen of him in articles. “Lonnie?”
“You’re cute, but how do I know who you are?”
“I’m a student at Layton, and my boyfriend has had a run-in with Lacey.”
He snorted. “Figures you have a boyfriend. Still, why call me, and how can I trust you?”
I dug into my purse and came up with my school ID. I held it up to the camera.
He inspected it a second before asking, “What do you want?”
“You must know if you FaceTimed me.”
He lifted his hat off a second before resettling it on backwards.
“I shouldn’t be talking to you. I signed one of those NDAs.”
Because of my dad’s private equity company, I’d heard of non-disclosure agreements.
“Then why are you?”
He licked his lips, and I could see why Lacey had picked him. I wasn’t interested, but I also wasn’t dead.
“You mentioned a boyfriend. Tell me what happened.”
I quickly gave him the watered-down version with very basic details.
“She did that to me. Never touched her. I had a girl back home.” He shook his head. “Next thing I know, I was hauled down and put in jail. She ruined my life.”
“But you got out.” I leaned on my bed putting my phone down, angling myself so he could still see me.
I started braiding my hair as I absorbed his story. His tale was almost chilling. If his family hadn’t scraped up money for a private investigator, he might not have gotten out of jail by agreeing to leave school and the state.
“Thanks,” I said when he was done.
“Yeah, don’t mention it. And I mean that literally. Don’t tell anyone how you got the information.”
“I promise.” I tapped a notebook where I’d written down a phone number he’d given me that could prove to be a game changer.
When I shared Lonnie’s story with Shepard, his eyes shined, but he didn’t shed one tear. We called Sawyer and Shelly after we’d called the number Lonnie
had given me. Shepard was to meet with his lawyer tomorrow morning.
I didn’t, however, tell him my plans the next day. Though we had what we needed, I wanted insurance.
Plotting made me hungry, and I ended up downstairs with a bowl of ice cream when Finn rolled in.
“Expecting company?” I teased.
He grinned with that dimpled smile of his. “My TA just left.”
“Ohhh. Get any work done?”
I couldn’t help myself. Finn’s social life eclipsed mine.
“Yes. Though Sawyer would argue about the type of work we were doing.”
I arched an eyebrow, and he chuckled.
“He likes to call her my tits and ass. And she does have an impressive set of—”
“I get the picture,” I said amused. “Though I wonder what she would think about her nickname.”
I’ve lived with three guys so long, I’d become immune to crude jokes and turned the tables when I could.
He nodded. “She would probably embrace it, knowing her. She wants to take me to a club.”
My jaw dropped, and he laughed. “Got you.”
I wasn’t sure why I had been fooled. There weren’t clubs anywhere near the university. I cooled off my embarrassing flush with a dip of my spoon into the creamy goodness and took another bite. Finn was quick with jokes.
“Things are going well with you and Shepard, I see,” he said.
“Yeah, actually. I think we’ve found something that will totally clear him.”
Finn listened in, and I told him about Lonnie. Then I took a chance and shared my plan with him. He had a few ideas I hadn’t thought about.
That’s how I found myself in the girl’s locker room in the main sports complex after practice the following day. I’d stashed my duffle on the field and had gone straight there after in hopes of running into the cheerleaders.
“Finley,” Emily said on her way out. Her startled guilt dissolved into a questioning gaze. “Why are you here?”
“Has everyone left?” I asked instead, craning my neck to get a glimpse around the corner.
“No, Lacey and a few others—” Her eyes widened. “Don’t. She’s toxic, Finley.”
Songs For Cricket Page 22
