“Physical death didn’t exist?”
“Not until Adam and Eve ate that fruit. Spiritual death was also now part of our world. We are dead to God until we make a choice to follow Him. All lives are eternal. A small part is lived here on this earth, filled with sickness, sorrow, pain—but also God’s beauty evident in His creation and expressed through gifts He gives us—like your art. But we all die. My wife, Sharon, is enjoying an eternity with no pain and only happiness and joy in God’s presence because she made a choice to accept His free gift of salvation from eternal damnation.”
“That’s this ‘accepting Jesus’ thing I’ve heard about?”
“It’s more than that. It’s as simple as recognizing that He is God. That He died and rose again to save you and that, like a present given at Christmas, all you have to do is accept and unwrap that gift.”
“I just say ‘yes’?”
“It’s not a flippant yes. It’s a ‘You are Lord of my life and I bend my need to follow You’ kind of a yes.”
“So, when a person does that, then what?”
“That person continues to live their life but now seeks to honor God with all their words, actions, and decisions.”
“How would I learn any of that?”
“He gave us a book, the Bible. Here, do you have your phone?” He put his glasses back on as he reached toward her.
She handed it over to him. She grabbed her own frames and put her glasses on, grateful to see him more clearly. He punched some things and soon handed it back to her. “There. You now have a Bible app on your phone. I recommend you start in the book of John and learn who Jesus is. Because Jesus returned to heaven, He has not only left this book, but also His Holy Spirit to help us.”
Skye looked at the phone and clicked open the app and found the book of John. “I’m not sure I completely understand.”
“It’s OK. I went to seminary to study this and I’m still learning and growing in my faith.”
“Really? I thought pastors knew it all and had it all together.”
Dan grinned. “Sorry to step off that pedestal, but I’m afraid of heights. I’m prone to temptation as any man or woman. I try, but sometimes I fail, more than I would like to admit, to think or do what would honor God most.”
“Even thoughts?”
“He’s God. He sees and knows everything about you.”
“That’s creepy.”
“He’s pursuing you, Skye. He’s the best and most loving stalker you’ll ever encounter. I’m not saying that choosing to follow God is easy or that your life will be better, but it is worthwhile and I believe many who choose that path are far happier than those who don’t.”
“I just don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“You never were. God’s always been there, waiting for you to choose Him, even when you refused to acknowledge Him.”
Taking a sip of her hot drink she let the warmth spread from her inside to chase the shivers of cold and fear away. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“I understand. I’ve been praying for you and will continue to do so.”
“Thanks. I think. The first time you told me that I was furious at you for trying to interfere with my life. Things have been happening and it’s been weird.”
“What things?”
“My art has changed. I think it’s for the better but I don’t always understand the images I’m drawing and painting. Twice I could have sworn I’ve heard a voice, but no one was there. I was afraid I was losing my mind.”
“You’re not losing your mind.”
“Can I change the subject?”
“Sure.” Dan grinned.
“I got a chance to pick up another class tonight…”
“And you want me to hang with your kids?”
“If you would. Can you handle them with your ribs?”
“As long as Quinn doesn’t want to wrestle I should be fine.”
“How’s the knee?”
“Tender but functional. I’m taking it easy so it can heal. It will be weeks before I can hit the treadmill and full press on the weights. When you came over I was doing some resistance band work and some hand weights to exercise what I can.”
“So tonight?”
“Sure. I’ll enjoy it. Your kids are great.”
Skye looked at the time on her phone. “I’d better get home. Mom will be dropping them off soon. She’s been sweet at bringing them home from their preschool program. She works there part-time but not in their classrooms.”
“What time tonight?”
“Four-thirty?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thanks, Dan. I really do appreciate it…and your willingness to answer my questions.”
“I hope it helped.”
Skye shrugged as she wrapped her scarf around her. “We’ll find out, won’t we?”
EIGHT
Friends are as companions on a journey,
who ought to aid each other to persevere
on the road to a happier life.
Pythagoras
Skye was out the door almost the instant he arrived.
“Gotta go. Thanks.” Off she ran down the stairs to her car. Dan frowned but closed the door. Two pairs of eyes glanced his way before returning to the program on the television. He wandered over to Skye’s art and examined some of her work. She mentioned her work had changed. He didn’t know what it had been like, but what he saw was breathtakingly beautiful. These were all reproductions of the original but stunning in their detail.
He made his way to the couch and sat, watching the program with the kids. When it ended, they crawled up next to him with a stack of books. He read to them from a few of them before heading to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Skye left directions for making fish sticks and there were carrots and raspberry applesauce. He prepared and served the meal.
Quinn looked at him as they sat down. “Will you pray for us again?”
Meghan nodded and folded her hands in front of her.
“Sure.” How could he resist such a request? “Dear Jesus, thank You for this food and please be with Quinn and Meghan’s mommy as she teaches her class and bring her home safe. Amen.”
“Amen!” the kids chorused as they dug into their meal. When finished, he cleaned up and followed them to their room, like last time. He sat down and together they started to build with the Legos.
“Mommy says you’re a pastor.” Quinn looked at Dan. “What do pastors do?”
“Great question. We serve the members of the church, helping them use their gifts for God. We provide teaching, counseling, encouragement, and leadership.”
Quinn scrunched his face and shook his head.
Dan tried again. “We try to help people know Jesus and grow in their understanding of Him.”
Meghan stood up and spun around. “We go church, learn Jesus.”
“What did you learn about Jesus?” Dan asked.
“Lub. Jesus lubs us,” Meghan responded as she plopped back down and went back to work on her project.
“How about you, Quinn?”
“God is a father. I don’t want another father.”
“God is not a father like your dad was. He’s a wonderful, loving father.”
“He won’t hit us?”
“Your father hit you?” Dan hadn’t realized there’d been physical abuse in the marriage.
“Shhh. Mommy not know or he kill her.”
“God will never hit you. You are wonderful and precious to Him.”
“Really?”
“He created you. He gave you your dark hair.” He turned to Meghan. “And you got curls.”
“Does He love Daddy, too?”
“He does, but He’s not very happy at what your daddy did.”
“He loves Mommy?” Meghan asked.
“Yes, God loves your mommy too.”
“Will He help her to not cry so much?”
“Your mom cries?”
Quinn raised his shoulders. “I
hear her at night. See tissue in the garbage when we get home from school.”
“God cares about your mommy’s tears. Even adults get sad sometimes.”
“Did you ever cry?”
Dan nodded. “Yup. Lots.”
“Why?”
“My wife died and I miss her.”
Meghan rose and patted him on the back. “It be aw right.”
Dan smiled and gave her a little side hug. “Yeah, you’re right. It will. But sometimes crying is part of getting to ‘aw right.’ Do you guys like to sing?”
“I’z a girl.” Meghan put her hands on her hips and scowled at him.
“But of course. My apologies.”
She went back to playing. “I sing wheels on bus.”
“That’s a great song. Did you learn any at church?”
“Something about God’s love…” Quinn’s nose scrunched up.
“Did it have hand motions like this?” He raised his hands up and then down and out.
Quinn nodded.
Dan started to sing the song and the kids stopped playing to watch him as he did the movements to it. Soon they were trying to imitate the moves but they didn’t sing. He stopped and they smiled.
“Do you understand what that song means?”
“God lubs us.” Meghan answered.
“Yes. More than you will ever know.” Dan put a final piece on his creation and showed it to the kids.
“Good job, Mr. Dan,” Quinn said.
The apartment door opened and Dan rose to his feet. “Guess that’s my cue to leave. It’s been fun.”
Meghan came and hugged his leg. “Thank you.”
Quinn came and hugged his other leg. “We like you taking care of us.”
“That means a lot, but I do need to leave.” He pried their arms off and dropped to his good knee. He pulled both kids in and hugged them close. He whispered, “Don’t forget that God loves you and He hears you every time you talk to Him.”
The two kids released him and he pulled himself up and turned, almost running into Skye.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“Great. We had fun. How was class?”
“Surprisingly full given how cold it is outside. It was good.”
“Wonderful. Have a good night, Skye. Kids.” With a wave, he was out the door and back into his own apartment.
~*~
His phone rang and he looked at the number. Amy? “Hello?”
“Hey, Dan. I returned from Arizona for training and vacation with my family. I just discovered you’re on a leave of absence, and wanted to check in and see how you are doing.”
“Better than I was. It’s nice to hear from you. How are you?” Amy had been Sharon’s close friend and they used to meet as part of a small group. Amy was also one of the worship team leaders. She’d seriously dated a man, but broke it off shortly after Sharon’s death. He often wondered why.
“I’ve waited a year to approach you, Dan. Figured you needed that long to grieve. Thought maybe we could do lunch one of these days.”
“Sorry, Amy, but I don’t do lunches or dinners with a woman alone. You know the policy.”
“Dan, let’s be honest. We like each other. We get along. We have many interests in common. We’ve hung out at the adult group a lot over the past year, and we’ve led worship together. I knew you needed time to grieve Sharon. I miss her too. But I thought, maybe now that you’ve had time to heal, we could…date.”
Dan sat down and swallowed hard. If he’d been wearing a tie he’d be loosening it right about now. “Listen, I like you Amy, and I value your ministry and faithfulness at church. I enjoy your company when we are with others. You are a delightful woman, but I’m not interested in dating you.”
“It’s too soon? I totally understand. I figured that with you needing a wife, that maybe it was time to throw my hat in the ring.”
“I don’t need a wife. There is no ring to throw your hat into. This isn’t some kind of sweepstakes drawing where I’m the prize. I’m not looking for a wife and even if I were, you would not be in the running. I don’t think of you in that way.”
“You can’t deny we’d be great together. I’ll give you more time, but you need to know I’m serious. I’ve been praying and I believe God has selected you as my life’s mate. I intend to honor Him. If I need to wait, fine. I can do that. You’ll see. You need me.”
“Amy…”
“Bye, Daniel. Think of me.”
The connection ended and Dan set the phone down while he shook his head. Sure, he’d been approached, but no one had ever called and asked him on a date before. He caught all the broad hints of interest at church in the groups he led, but he ignored them thinking they would die down in time. But Amy could cause problems for him with the worship team if he wasn’t careful.
Amy was right about one thing though that he had been in denial about. He did need a wife. Just not for the reason she thought. He needed a wife to keep the Amys of the church away. They respected his boundaries better when he wore a ring on his left hand.
The memory of Skye’s face as she leaned over him in the snow, so concerned and even ticked at him for laughing, made him smile. Now there was a woman who would keep him on his toes.
She doesn’t know Jesus yet.
She’s close.
She’s not a typical pastor’s wife. I haven’t known her long enough. She came with two kids and an abusive ex-husband who wouldn’t hesitate to make trouble for him, wedding ring or not.
All true. He sighed and rubbed his achy knee. Struggling to his feet he went to the kitchen to make his own dinner. It was about the only thing in his life he knew to fix right now.
~*~
He saw his therapist the next morning. Shirley sat across from him and waited.
“OK. I did what you suggested. I babysat the kids, twice. I played with Legos. I tried some new things. I took a Zumba class and went skiing for the first time ever.”
“And?”
“I haven’t been living. I’ve gone through the motions. Done what was expected. But now? I had fun. I laughed. I don’t know when I ever laughed last. Even when I bruised some ribs and twisted my knee—I laughed.”
Dan spent the rest of the hour recounting his adventures.
“You’ve made great progress. What are you going to do about Amy?”
“I don’t know.”
“It is interesting that you’ve done coffee with Skye twice, but won’t do lunch with Amy. And you sat with Skye at church.”
“How did you know that?”
Shirley grinned. “I was there on Sunday and saw you. I suspect Amy and others did as well.”
“We’re neighbors. She’s been asking a lot of spiritual questions. That’s all there is.”
“That’s fine, Dan. But think about how it looks to others. I’m not saying you need to change anything. Your behavior is above reproach, but that doesn’t mean your choices, as noble as they are, won’t have consequences.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Shirley gave him a smile and instead of answering bowed her head and prayed for him. When she finished, she said, “Think about it and I’ll see you next week.”
Dan’s hands were fisted as he strode out of the office. Right now he wished he could run on the treadmill, but the doctor suggested a few weeks off to heal his knee. It still ached but that pain didn’t ease his anger. “Choices have consequences.” He wasn’t two years old anymore, he didn’t need a reminder that everything he did and everywhere he went he was under a microscope.
No. He wasn’t a movie star stalked by paparazzi, easily detected by their cameras. He was a pastor, and people from church could be anywhere watching him. Judging him. Trying to decide if the Jesus he proclaimed was really all he claimed.
As if he were God. They expected him to be perfect. Flawless. Superhuman.
But he wasn’t.
He was a man. A lonely man. A widower.
He sat in his car and w
ept. Then he drove home.
~*~
That evening the buzzer for outside the building rang.
He wasn’t expecting a visitor. He pushed the intercom. “Who’s there?”
“It’s Amy. I brought you dinner.”
Dan rolled his eyes. Now what was he to do?
The buzzer rang again. He opened his door and ran across the hall to Skye’s door.
She opened it. “Dan?”
“You gotta help me, Skye. There’s a woman downstairs who brought me dinner. I don’t want to let her in. How do I deal with her?”
The buzzer rang again.
Skye grinned. “Hold on a sec. Quinn, Meghan!” She thrust them at him. “Kids, I want you to go in to Dan’s apartment. Turn up the music loud and dance and sing.” She turned to him. “Return them when you’re done.” The kids ran in and cranked the volume on the stereo.
“What?” Dan yelled at the door closing behind Skye’s grinning face. Dan could hardly hear himself but went to the intercom, and pushed it, opening the door to the downstairs and waited for Amy. He stepped out into the hallway and hoped the kids weren’t destroying anything.
Amy came up the stairs. She worked as a real estate agent and was dressed in black boots, a skirt, and a long red coat. Her head was covered by one of those silly little black beret type hats that did absolutely nothing to keep anyone warm. At least in his opinion. She carried a paper bag.
“I wasn’t expecting anything or anyone.”
“Well, I thought that since you didn’t want a public lunch or dinner, that a private one would be better. No one would need to know until we were ready to be public with our affection.”
“Amy, there is no affection on my side. I’m sorry.”
A crash and a cry came from inside the apartment.
“Hold on.” He went in and closed the door, putting his foot by it in case she tried to force her way in. “Are you OK?” Both kids gave him a thumbs-up and big smiles. He slipped back out to the hallway.
“Aren’t you going to let me in?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I have company right now and they’re a little wild at the moment.”
Bratwurst and Bridges Page 8
