by Tanith Lee
‘Yes,’ I said. What else could I do.
Ustareth said, ‘The root of the name – look, I’ll write it here – is Cla’i’dii. Shall I tell you what it means? Claaii, like that, means Wolf, ‘i means of or on the, and ‘dii means Wing. The way the meaning is spoken is just wolf wing. And that is your name, Claidi. Wolf on the Wing – Wolf Wing. Does it fit, at all?’
We’re going, away and away, over the mountains and the rings of Ustareth’s heaven, out over the sea.
In my head, not telepathically, I’m still talking to her, to Ustareth the Unforgettable.
I say to her, ‘But why didn’t you trust them – the ones you loved? When you were so ill – then more than ever.’
And I imagine I hear her say, ‘I was ashamed of being ill. How could that have happened to me? When I was the strong one!’
Yes, Ustareth, and you still had to be that strong. Not show a single crack. You thought you were the only one strong enough to handle it. And they were all too weak. That’s why you didn’t give them a chance. That’s why you ran away.
And I can’t hate you any more. And – I’m glad I can’t.
Venn and Dengwi are in the library here on Yin, making plans. Thu joined them, just possibly because they were eating cake. And no, Venn and Argul have not become best mates. It was too much to hope for. They’re very polite to each other, friendly. Trying too hard. Are Dengwi and I still like that? Will we get something sorted out … If I’m honest, I’m not sure.
Winter and Ngarbo are now only concerned with each other. They’re down in the room Yinyay formed for them, which makes music. They’re dancing. (And a statue appears in case I want to see. I don’t and there, it’s vanished again. At the moment, I feel, the statues are mostly keeping out of my way.)
Argul’s just back from checking on the horses in the stable. He says Yin has added some sort of horse-game to amuse them while we travel—?
Now Argul’s sitting across from me, along this gallery. My Argul, to whom I belong. To whom I’ll tell everything about these Powers, and ask him too if he did find some way to see me on my own journey. But in a while, a little while.
I think – I know the Hulta will break their Rule about leaders. I recall what Blurn said, too. They’ll make Argul their King all over again, and then, as at the very beginning of all this, he’ll be My Argul – Leader of the Hulta.
Only me, then, writing to you, staring out while we soar not too fast over the million-sapphire sea.
And I’m this me now. Who I don’t know at all, and how do I get used to Her? Perhaps the best, the easiest way, is simply to forget about her (me) most of the time. And remember only, as I fly high up on my wolf wings, to come back again to earth.
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Also by Tanith Lee
Birthgrave
The Birthgrave (1975)
Vazkor, Son of Vazkor (1977) (aka Shadowfire)
Quest for the White Witch (1978)
Novels Of Vis
The Storm Lord (1976)
Anackire (1983)
The White Serpent (1988)
Four-BEE
Don’t Bite the Sun (1976)
Drinking Sapphire Wine (1977)
Silver Metal Lover
The Silver Metal Lover (1981)
Metallic Love (2005)
Tanaquil
Black Unicorn (1989)
Gold Unicorn (1994)
Red Unicorn (1997)
Blood Opera
Dark Dance (1992)
Personal Darkness (1993)
Darkness, I (1994)
Lionwolf
Cast a Bright Shadow (2004)
Here in Cold Hell (2005)
No Flame But Mine (2007)
Other Novels
Volkhavaar (1977)
Electric Forest (1979)
Day by Night (1980)
Lycanthia (1981) (aka The Children of Wolves)
Sung in Shadow (1983)
Days of Grass (1985)
A Heroine of the World (1989)
The Blood of Roses (1990)
Heart-Beast (1992)
Elephantasm (1993)
Eva Fairdeath (1994)
Vivia (1995)
When the Lights Go Out (1995)
Reigning Cats and Dogs (1995)
White as Snow (2000)
L’Amber (2006)
Greyglass (2011)
Collections
Cyrion (1982)
Tamastara (1984) (aka The Indian Nights)
The Gorgon: And Other Beastly Tales (1985)
Women as Demons (1985)
Dreams of Dark and Light (1986)
Forests of the Night (1989)
Nightshades: Thirteen Journeys into Shadow (1993)
TOWER FAMILY TREES
About the Author
Tanith Lee (1947 – )
Tanith Lee was born in London in 1947. She is the author of more than 70 novels and almost 300 short stories, and has also written radio plays for the BBC and two scripts for the cult television series Blake's 7. Her first short story, ‘Eustace’, was published in 1968, and her first children’s novel The Dragon Hoard was published in 1971. In 1975 her adult fantasy epic The Birthgrave was published to international acclaim, and Lee has since maintained a prolific output in popular genre writing. She has twice won the World Fantasy Award, and been a Guest of Honour at numerous science fiction and fantasy conventions including the 1984 World Fantasy Convention in Ottawa, Canada. In 2009 she was awarded the prestigious title of Grand Master of Horror. Tanith Lee is married to author and artist John Kaiine, and lives in the southeast of England.
For more information see www.sf-encyclopedia.com/entry/lee_tanith
Copyright
A Gollancz eBook
Copyright © Tanith Lee 2002
All rights reserved.
The right of Tanith Lee to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
This eBook first published in Great Britain in 2014 by Gollancz
The Orion Publishing Group Ltd
Orion House
5 Upper Saint Martin’s Lane
London, WC2H 9EA
An Hachette UK Company
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978 1 473 20631 1
All characters and events in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor to be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
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