by Jessica Jung
After all, I have been trained by DB.
“I wouldn’t miss this for the world. And I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.” I beam, the picture of a perfect trainee, and lock my gaze on Mr. Noh. “Remember, we’re family. And family is forever.”
Mr. Lim’s face grows icy, but Mr. Noh throws a small, resigned smile in my direction. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
There’s a calculating look in his eyes that I’m not sure what to make of, but he’s already moving down the line, away from me. I don’t relax until we all file off the stage and into the auditorium seats for announcements. I take a seat in the back by myself and finally let my body sag. I close my eyes, leaning back against the velvet covering. At least the worst of it is over.
I feel the chair next to me sink as someone takes a seat. My eyes fly open.
It’s Jason.
For a moment we just stare at each other. I don’t know what to say, and from the way he’s jittering, his leg bouncing up and down against his seat, I can tell he doesn’t either. He looks tired and defeated in a way, like a shadow of his former self, the self that overflowed with confidence and knew without a doubt that the whole world was his best friend.
“Rachel…,” he starts, but his voice trails off. It looks like he’s about to reach over and grab my hand, but he stops himself midway and grabs the armrest instead. “Congratulations,” he finally says, smiling tightly at me. Then he pushes himself out of his seat and walks away, disappearing down the aisle.
I stare after him, dumbfounded. Congratulations?
Congratulations for what?
Mr. Noh takes the stage for announcements. I’m so busy trying to process what just happened with Jason that I almost miss what he’s saying.
It turns out, there’s still room for one more surprise.
“We are so thrilled,” he says, his voice booming over the auditorium, “to be debuting DB’s new girl group, Girls Forever! Please join me as I welcome the nine ladies who will be the new faces and voices of what I’m confident will be Korea’s biggest stars!”
The room is like a live wire, trainees and trainers frantically trying to guess who will be announced, craning their heads to see who is in the room. I sit up straighter in my chair, shock zipping through me like a lightning bolt.
I had no idea DB was announcing a new debut group today. And judging by the stunned look on everyone’s faces, no one else knew either.
“I’ll ask the girls to come up to the stage,” Mr. Noh says. “First we have Shin Eunji, who brings a firecracker energy to everything she does. Ryu Sumin, the picture of grace and elegance. Yoon Youngeun, a master harmonizer. Lee Jiyoon, a creative artist. Shim Ari, power vocals to challenge any ballad singer. Im Lizzie, dancer extraordinaire. Choi Sunhee, the most skilled rapper in our trainee class.”
He takes a significant pause, looking around the auditorium. The air is so thick with anticipation I can almost feel it pressing down on my chest. Mina is leaning forward in her seat, her nails digging into the armrests. He hasn’t called either of our names yet.
Is this the moment he’s going to drop us from DB? Will he announce it in front of everyone after naming all the new members of Girls Forever? What a cruel way to let us go, and yet how on brand for DB. I steel myself for whatever he’s about to say next.
“And lastly, I’d like to announce our final two members with particular pride.” He spreads his arms open wide, the picture of a proud father. “These two young ladies have already brought an incredible amount of success to DB. They epitomize everything that we are as a family, and I know they will continue to be model examples of what it means to be perfect DB stars going forward.” His smile turns almost sharklike, a subtle threat laced in his words. “I am pleased to announce Rachel Kim as lead vocalist and Choo Mina as lead dancer of Girls Forever!”
I am pleased to announce Rachel Kim as lead vocalist. The words play over and over in my head as my legs go totally numb. I don’t know how I do it, but I somehow manage to walk down the aisle and up to the stage, my knees wobbling like Jell-O, barely registering the cheers that echo across the auditorium.
This morning I thought my career was over.
Now I’m about to debut.
Mr. Noh shakes my hand with a toothy grin.
“Congratulations,” he says. And then, as if reading my thoughts, he adds, “Your dreams are becoming reality.”
I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel the wetness on my cheeks and quickly wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. This is happening. This is real. It’s finally happening.
Almost reflexively I scan the crowd for Yujin. She’s clapping and crying too. I want to run and hug her, but I know now is not the time. Instead, I spot Jason standing in the far corner of the auditorium. I realize with a jolt that Mr. Choo is standing next to him. He leans down and whispers something in Jason’s ear and Jason nods resolutely. As the announcements wrap up, Mr. Noh walks down from the stage to join them. Jason shakes both men’s hands, a grim but determined look on his face.
A nervous flutter erupts in the pit of my stomach. This must be what Jason was congratulating me on earlier. He knew I was going to debut today. That I wasn’t being kicked out of DB. How did he know?
And what did he do to get me here?
“Congratulations, Rachel.”
I turn to see Mina standing before me, Lizzie and Eunji on either side of her.
“Lead vocalist,” Lizzie says, her voice dripping with fake enthusiasm. “That’s an impressive title.”
“It’ll be so great being in a group all together,” Eunji adds. “Imagine how much fun we’ll have.”
“Girls, give me a minute alone with Rachel,” Mina says. “I want to give her a personal congratulations.”
Ever obedient, Lizzie and Eunji flounce off the stage. Mina turns to me, all smiles, but I can see a familiar evil glimmer in her eye.
“That little stunt at the bowing ceremony was cute, Rachel,” she says, her voice dropping into a low whisper. “But don’t think it changes anything about where your real place is. Now that we’re debuting together, Yujin-unni won’t be around to protect you anymore. You really think you’ll be able to survive for very long without her?”
“I think I can hold my own, Mina,” I say, crossing my arms. “After all, I am the lead singer.”
She smiles on, unfazed. “I wouldn’t let that title get to your head if I were you. You shouldn’t get too comfortable. You never know when you might… lose your step.”
She pulls out her phone and presses play on a video, holding it up for me to see. It’s another shaky fancam video from Seoul Olympic Stadium, but this time it’s of Electric Flower singing “Starlight River.” I frown, shooting her a wary look. Why is she showing this to me?
And then I see it. The starry night cover is lifted, and as soon as the lights turn on, there, in the corner of the screen, is a glimpse of me and Jason kissing backstage. It’s only half a second, but it’s unmistakably us.
“Where did you get this?” My voice is shaking so hard I can’t even pretend to hold back my alarm.
“Leah,” she says smoothly. “That day I came over. Before you got there, she was showing me some videos from the concert and I happened to notice something very interesting about this one. I asked her to send it to me. You know I’m a big Electric Flower fan.”
I swallow hard, my jaw clenched. If this video were to ever get out, I would be ruined, just like Kang Jina. Jason was confident that the K-pop industry was changing, but if the past two days have taught me anything, it’s that it isn’t changing quickly enough to make a difference for me. “You wouldn’t,” I say, even though I know of course she would. She wouldn’t hesitate.
And that means she owns me.
She smiles, tucking the phone back into the pocket of her skirt. “Congratulations again, Rachel. This next year is going to be so much fun.”
Twenty-Seven
“Girls, you’re
about to go onstage for your debut performance! How has the past month been, preparing for this moment?”
I sit with my eight fellow Girls Forever members, all of us in coordinating electric-blue outfits layered with patterns of neon flowers. My halter dress fits snugly on my body, hot-pink with petals climbing up the sides. On my feet are thigh-high white knee socks and spotless white high-top sneakers. I brush my perfectly curled hair over my shoulder and smile at the interviewer, batting my lashes.
Head up, legs crossed. Tummy tucked, shoulders back. The camera zooms in on my face, airing live to millions of people all over Korea.
“It’s been a challenge, but we’ve been working really hard and we’re as ready as we’ll ever be,” I say easily. I gesture to the other girls. “It’s been such an inspiration working alongside such talented members. I’ve learned so much from all of them.”
Like how to watch my back at every hour of the day. From bubble gum in my hairbrush that Eunji swore wasn’t hers to my shoes mysteriously disappearing every time we had a wardrobe fitting, my life of debut prep has been a constant rerun of training, sleepless nights, and dodging vicious prank after vicious prank from the girls the whole world believes are my best friends.
I smile at the camera.
If only they could see what our lives are really like.
All the girls “aww” back at my sweet comment, Sumin and Lizzie even leaning in on either side of me for a group hug. I squeeze back tightly like I’m in the middle of a full-on lovefest. Their long nails scratch against my arms as the interviewer beams on, all bright eyes and gleaming teeth.
“It sounds like you all work really well together,” he says.
“Absolutely,” Mina says, her voice a pitch-perfect tone of mastered enthusiasm. “I couldn’t think of anyone better to be on this journey with.” She casts a fond look over all of us, her gaze resting on mine. She smiles. “We have a beautiful road ahead of us.”
* * *
I stand backstage before our performance, taking deep breaths. This past month has flown by in a whirlwind, and now it’s finally time for us to debut. Here we come, world.
It’s time to finally show you what we’ve got.
A burst of giggles catches my attention, and I turn to see Mina showing a video to the other girls on her phone. They’re all leaning in, laughing and pushing one another for a better view.
“Holy shit, this is gold.”
“I can’t believe she caught this on video!”
My stomach clenches. Is that what I think it is?
I run over and grab the phone from Mina’s hands. It’s an Instagram video of a girl playing a piano duet with her dog. Chopsticks. My face warms all over.
“What the hell, Rachel?” Eunji says. “What’s your problem?”
“Don’t mind her, girls,” Mina says breezily, sipping a glass of water. “Princess Rachel’s not a fan of viral videos that she’s not the star of.”
My fist tightens around her phone. Mina may be holding her video blackmail over me, but that doesn’t mean I have to take it lying down. I slam her phone right into the glass of water, everyone shrieking and jumping away as water droplets fly everywhere.
Mina’s mouth falls open in shock.
“Woops, sorry, Mina,” I say sweetly. “My hand slipped. But you know what, maybe it’s for the best. You know the rules about social media. Wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”
I turn away. Then I pause and look back over my shoulder, glancing pointedly at Mina’s wrist and her ruby-colored watch. Mr. Han’s watch—his one-of-a-kind heirloom from his grandfather. I recognized it in Toronto but didn’t say anything. I don’t even know for sure why she has it.
But I can guess.
“By the way, do you know what time it is?” I ask innocently.
Her eyes widen. Flustered, she looks down at the watch, covering it with her hand. “It’s, um, almost one.”
“Thanks,” I say. “Almost time for the performance, girls.”
The girls look back and forth between us, trying to figure out what’s being left unsaid. Eunji and Lizzie glance at each other, then walk over to me. “We’re ready!” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mina’s face fall. But I’m already walking away.
I have a song to perform.
We go through a final round of makeup touchups and assemble on the stage, waiting for the curtain to go up. I take my place in center position, four girls in a horizontal line on either side of me. Cameras are pointed at us from all directions, and I can hear the cheering crowd beyond the curtain.
They’re excited to see us. I lift my chin. Good.
We’re about to give them the performance of their lives.
If someone had told me when I was eleven years old about everything I’d have to sacrifice to get to this point, everything that would be stolen from me, I would have said they were writing a K-drama. The path to get here has turned out to be harder than anything I could’ve ever imagined, but here I am.
Despite it all, I made it to my debut moment.
I think of the haenyo: When we feel like we cannot do this any longer, we remember that we already have, and we will again.
I think of Leah: Your dreams are my dreams.
I think of Umma: You deserve to take your chance. You’ve earned it.
Just as the curtain goes up, I make a decision. Staring straight into the center camera, I take a big step forward, leaving the other girls in a line behind me and stepping into the spotlight by myself.
This is my time to shine.
And I won’t let anyone stop me.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I have so many people to thank for helping make this dream of mine a reality! I must start with my Golden Stars, for your epic and endless support and enthusiasm. It has kept me encouraged and inspired through it all!
I also want to thank the entire team at Simon & Schuster, the US home for the book—most of all, my shining star editor, Jennifer Ung. Jen, you’ve truly helped make this book sparkle (inside and out)! Thanks are also due to the inimitable Mara Anastas; the powerhouse marketing and publicity teams including Caitlin Sweeny, Alissa Nigro, Savannah Breckenridge, Anna Jarzab, Emily Ritter, Nicole Russo, and Cassie Malmo; and last but certainly not least, enormous thanks to Sarah Creech, the superb designer who came up with the amazing star-filled cover and got all those sparkling rays of light just right.
I’m eternally grateful for my incredible representatives at United Talent Agency—Max Michael, Albert Lee, and Meredith Miller—for helping get this book into so many countries across the world, many of which I’ve spent time in and can’t wait to connect with readers there. Equal thanks to the talented Stephen Barbara of Inkwell Management for believing in this project from the beginning, finding Shine its first home, and championing it always. I couldn’t have done it all without the fabulous women of Glasstown Entertainment. Thanks are due to Lexa Hillyer, who has listened to many tea-spilling stories (over actual tea!), as well as the inimitable Rebecca Kuss, who made sure every single detail was ab-so-lute-ly perfect. Thank you to Laura Parker and Lynley Bird of Glasstown, and to Matt Kaplan, Max Siemers, and everyone else at Ace Entertainment, for your hard work in turning this baby into a story that will hopefully one day soon hit the screens! Thank you, too, to Sarah Suk—you are a true star, and your work has made the book sing.
I owe such a huge debt of gratitude to my whole family, too—for supporting me unconditionally. To my parents, you were always there for me and let me be who I wanted to be. And most especially Krystal, the best sister one could ever, ever wish for. I love you with all my heart.
Lastly, I want to thank Tyler. You’ve been with me through so much of my journey, and I couldn’t have done this without you. Your fervor and passion to help is above and beyond—I can’t wait to see what the next adventure brings.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JESSICA JUNG is a Korean American singer, actress, fashion designer, and international influencer. Born in San Franc
isco, Jessica grew up in South Korea, where she trained as a K-pop singer, debuting as a member of the international sensation Girls’ Generation in 2007. After going solo in 2014, she launched the successful fashion line Blanc & Eclare. Jessica has been featured on the covers of magazines worldwide, her brand now spanning many platforms, including film and television. Shine is her debut novel.
Visit us at simonandschuster.com/teen
www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Jessica-Jung
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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Text copyright © 2020 by Jessica Jung and Glasstown Entertainment
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