by Raven Steele
“Llona? You in there?” May called.
I opened the closet door and yelled, “Yeah, one second.”
“Are you coming to breakfast?” she asked.
“For sure. I’ll be right there.”
“Okay, see you downstairs.” I listened to her footsteps move away from the door.
I stared down at the diary in shock, wishing I could skip classes, but that was a lot harder to do when you actually lived at school.
Changing quickly, I applied more makeup than usual to hide my red eyes and then stuffed the diary into my bag. It felt heavy, and it occupied my thoughts above all others.
In the dining room, I dropped into a seat next to May and Kiera. “How’s it going?”
Kiera set down a glass of milk. “Good.”
“Did you have fun with your dad?” I asked her. It took every effort to have a conversation.
“Yeah, it was awesome. He took me to see a Broadway play. Have you guys ever been?”
“Once,” May said, “My mom took me . . .”
Just then Tessa reached over my shoulder and set down my breakfast plate and blue vitamin.
“Get any sleep last night?” she asked quietly while Kiera and May continued to talk.
“Sort of.”
Tessa patted me on the back and walked away. I watched her and the other Lizens serve the rest of us while I rolled the pill between my fingers. So bizarre. I wondered when Auras first started having servants. I took a bite from a toasted bagel.
“Llona?” May asked.
I stared at her, blank faced “Sorry. What was that?”
“Kiera asked you what you did yesterday.”
Almost snapped a deer’s neck, ran from a water-freezing Vyken, and walked underwater without breathing.
“Nothing,” I said and popped the pill in my mouth.
Across the room, I watched Tessa clear Ashlyn’s, and her clan’s, table. They didn’t notice her efforts. Well, one girl did. She pointed at a glass that Tessa had forgotten to clear. I took another bite, my mind wandering to the diary inside the backpack at my feet.
“Did you get any studying done?” Kiera asked me, but I didn’t answer.
I had something more important to do.
Even though I wasn’t finished with my food, I stood, threw my backpack over my shoulders, and began stacking my dishes.
“What are you doing?” Kiera asked.
“Clearing the table.” I gathered my silverware and put it onto my plate.
Kiera’s eyes widened. “That’s the Lizens’ job!”
“I can clean up my own crap.” I lifted my dishes.
Several heads turned in my direction.
“Wait,” May said, quickly gathering her dishes too. “I’m coming with you.”
She stood and followed me toward the kitchen, each of us carrying our own breakfast tray.
The room fell silent. I glanced at Tessa briefly; she was shaking her head at me in horror.
At the same time, Sophie stood up. She rushed over to me as if I had fire coming out of my head and blocked the way to the kitchen doors. Through a forced smile she said, “What are you doing, dear?”
“Returning my dishes.”
“We have people for that.”
“Do you pay them?”
She laughed. “Of course not. They enjoy doing it.”
“Since when do others love picking up the half-eaten crumbs of spoiled brats?”
She gasped, along with all those within earshot.
I brushed past her into a hot kitchen. Two Lizen women were scrubbing a steaming grill. They turned to me and froze.
“Where do we wash our dishes?” May asked before I could.
I love May.
The women continued to stare, but a familiar face rushed forward. “Llona?”
“Hi, Lilly. May, this is Tessa’s mom. Can we wash our dishes real quick?”
“No, no, no!” She snatched the dishes from our arms. “You mustn’t do things like this. It is the Lizens’ job.”
“Says who?” I asked.
“Please, Llona. We like to serve Auras.”
“Llona!” Sophie’s sharp voice made me spin around.
“What?”
“I want you in my office, now.” The several yards of shimmering material around her waist billowed outward as she spun quickly on her heel.
I shrugged. “Fine.”
Sophie turned to May. “And I want to see you after.”
“Why?” I asked. “She didn’t do anything but follow me.”
“Actually,” May interrupted, “Llona was copying me. She’s always doing that. It’s so annoying.”
She glanced over at me, and together we burst into laughter.
Sophie’s face burned red. “Both of you, follow me now.”
She turned around and walked back through the dining room that was full of whispers and glares. May and I lagged behind her, while under my breath I hummed Darth Vader’s theme song.
Chapter 17
Sophie closed her office door behind me. “I’m getting tired of these visits, Llona.”
I dropped into my usual chair. “Me too.”
“Don’t get smart with me,” she snapped.
“Is being smart a crime too?”
Her shoulders sagged as she lowered herself into a chair. “I don’t know what to do with you,” she said more to herself than me.
“Can you tell me what I did wrong? I honestly thought I was being helpful.”
“It wasn’t necessarily wrong, it’s just that you’re taking away from others.”
“You mean Lizens?”
“Of course. Serving us is their identity. It makes them feel important in the world. Before us, their race had almost become extinct. We saved them.”
“So in return, they are in our servitude?”
“We didn’t ask them to do this; they chose it.”
“They may have decades ago, but has anyone asked them lately if they enjoy waiting on us?”
“I haven’t heard any of them complain.”
“Why do they need to? Look at their faces! They look miserable.”
She shook her head. “I truly doubt that, Llona.”
“Seriously? Open your eyes. Or are you afraid that if you do, you and all your precious Auras might actually have to lift a finger around here?”
Sophie leaned back in her chair, looking amused. “So that’s why you think we’ve gathered every young Aura we can find— to pamper them? You are a naive, ignorant child.”
“And you are a stubborn, closed-minded adult.”
A tense few seconds passed. I was about to apologize, but my aunt smiled.
“You are so much like your mother,” she sighed. “I’m surprised how much I’ve missed this banter.”
She stood and came around in front of me. She leaned against her desk and said, “I really messed things up with your mother, and I don’t want to do that with you. How about a truce?”
“Like what?”
“How about I try to be more aware and open minded and you try to understand what we’re trying to do here. Our safety is everything.”
“Fine. I’ll try.” But I wasn’t sure I meant it. I didn’t think it was possible for her to be open minded.
“Good. Can I get a hug?”
I stood. “Of course.”
Her arms came around me. I was surprised to discover how much her touch reminded me of my mother’s. I resisted the urge to cling to her.
Finally, Sophie let go. “You have so much potential, Llona. I can’t wait to see what you do with your future.”
My heart warmed, despite my best efforts for it not to.
Thinking of May who sat just outside the door, I asked, “Please don’t reprimand May. She really was just following me. She really likes it here.”
She smiled. “We like May too. Don’t worry. I just want to see how she’s doing.”
After leaving her office, I crossed campus to return to class. We mig
ht not have a lot in common, but we were family. And with so few family members left, I resolved to try harder.
My etiquette class had already begun, so I slipped in quietly and sat in the nearest seat. I tried to pay attention to what Ms. Williams was saying, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Britt’s diary. I was itching to read it. I glanced around for a fire alarm but found none.
A girl next to me raised her hand in response to a question I hadn’t heard.
“Auras are always polite and kind,” she said and glared at me.
Clearly, I’d done something to piss her off.
“Exactly,” Ms. Williams said. “Well done, Kim. What about public outbursts? Is that an appropriate behavior for an Aura?”
I wrinkled my nose. What was this? A lesson directed at me? I snorted. Not if I can help it. I raised my hand.
Ms. Williams seemed surprised to see my arm occupying air space. “Llona?”
“I think there is a time and place to stand up for what you believe in, no matter who’s around or what’s going on.”
She pursed her lips. “Actually, Llona, an Aura should always be respectful, and if she has a disagreement with someone it should be handled in private.”
Ms. Williams turned to pick up a lesson book, and even though the air was thick with tension, I raised my hand again.
She looked up, and her right eye twitched. “Yes, Llona?”
“I disagree.” A couple of girls snickered, but I continued. “Sometimes it takes just one person to stand up and voice their opinion. Just one person to make a difference, to make things better, private or not.”
“What are you saying?” Kim asked. “You think you’re in an oppressed society?”
“Maybe I am.”
“That’s enough!” Ms. Williams said. “Llona, I think you’ve caused enough of a disruption for today. I’m excusing you for the rest of class.”
“Really?” I didn’t mean to sound so excited.
“Yes. I want you to go straight to the library and read over the lesson, and when class is over, you and I will have a little chat.”
I grabbed my backpack and stood up. “Deal.” To the rest of the class, I couldn’t help but say, “Have fun being brainwashed.”
Several gasps tickled my ears as I escaped the room to go to the library. I found a quiet spot in the back and sat down.
First thing first. Read the diary.
I removed it from my bag and stared at its worn blue cover. In a way, I felt it was wrong to read someone else’s journal. It didn’t belong to me. It belonged to Britt’s family. They should be the one to read her last words.
But.
What if it said something horrible? Maybe it was best that they remember her how she was, before she died. I thought about it for a few more minutes before I chose to read it. I opened the book and scanned the first pages.
Britt seemed like a normal, teenage girl. She had friends. She did well in school. She even had a crush on one of the Lizen boys. Interesting.
She talked a lot about wanting to be a good Aura. She had plans of marrying a politician, even to go as far as planning his campaign. After that she wanted to use her influence to help impoverished children in other countries. Britt clearly enjoyed life and had a promising future, but then I stumbled across an entry where everything changed:
October 5
I had a horrible dream last night. You know the kind that seems so real it haunts you the rest of the day? I haven’ t felt the same since.
In my dream I was in the woods. Not sure how I got there. I was wandering around trying to find the school, and I was freezing cuz I was only in my gown. But then I saw the big wall and I felt better. Circle it until I get to the gates. That’s what I told myself.
I was about there when a man walked toward me and asked if I was lost. I thought maybe he was a new Guardian, but when I saw he had a tattoo of a blade on his head, I knew he wasn’t. And this is where my dream went south—the tattooed man rushed me and bit into my neck. It hurt something horrible.
In my dream I tried to fight him, but it was like hitting a concrete wall. And then when I thought I was going to die, another person appeared and pulled the man off me.
“That’s enough,” he said, and his voice was surprisingly pleasant.
Anyway, I couldn’t see this new person’s face, as he was wearing a long robe with a hood over his head.
He didn’t say anything else, but he did drag away the man who was acting all crazy and still trying to get at my neck. And then I was alone. With all the blood coming out of me, I thought I’ d feel pain, but I didn’t. I just lay there until I fell back asleep. When I woke up, I was back in my bed, feeling fine. The dream really scared me, but what was even scarier is when I noticed two red holes in my neck. I must’ve scratched myself or something, cuz . . . I don’ t know what else it could have been.
The whole thing was just weird. Hope I can forget about it soon.
Love, Britt
I stared at the entry, my hands shaking and the book shaking even more. She’d been bitten, like me. My stomach turned over, and my throat quivered. I inhaled several deep breaths to keep from throwing up.
It took a long time for me to calm down, and when I did I turned my attention back to the diary. After Britt’s “nightmare,” she didn’t write in it as much. Her final entries scanned a two-month time period. The entries where short, and her hand-writing had become erratic, almost illegible.
Britt was angry, and she didn’t know why. Everyone bothered her, and she was getting into lots of fights. In one entry she wrote:
I wish I could kill them all.
The ink was smeared, then:
What am I saying? What’s happening to me? I’m a monster.
She scratched, “I’m a monster” over and over until the page was filled. I turned to the final entry. All it said was:
December. Almost Christmas. Something’s wrong with me. I think I’m possessed. If only I could’ve been a better Aura, but there’s no more time. I have to kill a demon.
And that was it. I closed the diary and cried. I hurt for Britt, my whole heart squeezing inside my chest. No one knew what she was going through, not even herself. She must’ve felt so alone.
I also cried for myself. Her death could very well be my future. I’d rather die too than become a selfish, evil monster that preyed on other Auras.
Britt’s diary entries only confirmed what Liam had told me. I thought of his offer to help me. If he was telling the truth and there was a way to stop the poison from changing me, I had to try it. And fast.
As for Christian, what would I tell him now? I had my answer. I thought me being an Aura and him a Guardian was bad enough for our relationship, but how about a half-Vyken and a Guardian? I almost laughed. And then I cried again.
I glanced up at the clock. Ten more minutes before Ms. Williams came to give me a piece of her mind. Just enough time for me to regain my composure and pretend like I wasn’t turning into a monster.
Ms. Williams’s lecture wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I was confused, she thought, because of my “misguided” childhood. She felt bad for me and wanted to help me through my trying time. If only she knew.
I kept quiet the whole time, thinking only of the diary. When Ms. Williams was finished, she gave me a hug. I let her.
I attended the rest of my classes, but the diary weighed heavily on me. I was glad when they were over and returned to my room, where I fell asleep as soon as I collapsed into bed. Too many emotions for one day.
But with my nap came more nightmares. Vykens running through the forest, dropping from trees, climbing the walls of Lucent Academy. And on the roof, I was there, waiting to greet them.
I woke up screaming just as the dinner chimes sounded and frantically looked around. I was in my room. I was safe. My heartbeat raced, and my whole body trembled. I closed my eyes, forcing my thoughts on something else. Cheesy pizza. Macaroons, salted bourbon flavored. French fries dipped
in ice cream.
Slowly, my body relaxed. I let out air real slowly, then climbed off my bed. I took my time heading downstairs for dinner. Just as I was about to go inside the dining room, someone tugged on me from behind.
I turned around. “Christian.”
My heart broke, shattered into a million pieces at the sight of him.
“Are you okay? I’ve been looking for you.”
I shrugged. “I’ve been around.”
“How’s your head?” He reached up as if to check it, but I stepped away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s all better. Doesn’t even hurt.” I was about to say more when a slip of a shadow passed overhead and the hall got noticeably darker.
I glanced up, but Christian turned to the window.
“Sun must’ve gone behind a cloud,” he said and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on it hard. “Something’s got to change, Llona.”
I lowered my eyes to his, no longer searching for invisible shadows. “I couldn’t agree more.”
He sighed, like he was relieved. “Good, because I have to see you more, like every day, even if it means I’m not a Guardian anymore.”
I gasped and my knees almost gave out. This wasn’t what I was expecting. I shook my head, frustrated that I couldn’t find the right words to say. Just spit it out, Llona! To protect him.
“I think we need some time apart,” I blurted. “Just for a little while.”
I couldn’t look at him. I clasped my hands together on my chest in hopes they could hold my heart together.
It was a long moment before Christian spoke. “I don’t understand.”
I tried again. “It’s not safe for you to like me. I’m not . . . normal.”
He took hold of my arms, regardless of the other students walking past us. “Whatever this is, Llona. We’ll get through it. I love you.”
