Solitude was a rare commodity on the Vampire Coalition ships. Here I sequestered myself with my ill feelings and, right now, I stared at the wall where three bars of sunlight, passing through the blinds on the window, were marking the slow passage of time.
It was clearly a glorious day out there. The sort of day when beaches were filled with bronzed men and women soaking up the rays, going for a swim, playing beach ball and so on. But there was none of that on my island. For the long centuries of my vampirism, I had not missed the sun.
Back when I was first turned, beach holidays did not exist—it was before the invention of the bikini, of Ray-bans, and of indeed of holidays. But then Bryn’s blood reintroduced me to the sun. I rather liked it. One year, I think because it amused her, she suggested we go to the south of France for a ‘normal’ holiday. I was skeptical about the whole thing, but Bryn was over-excited about the idea, so I agreed. We ended up having a wonderful time. I fed on Bryn in the morning and so was able to sunbathe with her, to play in the surf with Rowan, and to build sandcastles as a family.
Not many vampires are able to have such experiences, but now that trip in the sun was another memory that hung around my neck like a millstone—a reminder of what I had lost.
Why the hell had I come here? Was I trying to torture myself?
The sad truth was that wherever I went, I could not break away from the things that made me depressed. At least here, on the island, I could be alone to wallow in self-pity and did not run the risk of tripping over people partying, dancing and screwing.
Alas, what had I created?
A haven. That was what I had created. It might not be perfect, but the vampires were safe upon the cruise ships. And most of them seemed to enjoy this new existence I had carved out for them; I was the one who found it odious and noisy. So perhaps there was something wrong with me.
I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. I could not hide out here forever. I was the head of the Vampire Coalition and that came with certain responsibilities.
The thought reminded me of the report I had received of the last meeting of the Masked Magistrates.
There was trouble brewing there as well, if Duine had his way.
Duine?! Just the thought made me roll my eyes. I remembered the bloody bastard when he went by a different name. I had thought him an idiot back then, but at least he was a decent one. Now I did not know what he had become (nor how he had become it), but I was not impressed, and I feared what the news of his deeds might mean for my people.
Why was nothing ever easy?
In a curious moment, I found myself laughing and shaking my head; I wallowing in self-pity. To hell with that. I could only stand myself for so long in this sort of mood. Once night fell, I would head back to the fleet. I could not escape my duties forever, and perhaps it was for the best that I had something to do. Being here was pleasantly quiet, but being alone with your thoughts can be a terrible fate if your thoughts are all dark ones. The Carpathia might be a nightmare of my own creation, but at least it gave me plenty of distractions. They were all annoying and pointless, but they stopped me from getting stuck in my own head.
Maybe Laucian had been right about the damn fleet. I hadn’t set out to create the vampire equivalent of the Playboy Mansion, but I had not done anything to stop it either. Problems for another day.
Looking back towards the window, I saw the hot, burning lines of the sun peeking through the slats of the blind, and I wondered if, perhaps one day, I might have the chance to bring Bryn and Rowan here. They would love it.
Or at least… they would have loved it. Back then. But I could no longer say for sure what they would ‘love’ now. They were the most important people in my life, and yet I barely knew them.
I picked up the phone that sat by my bed and dialed. Upon it being answered, I said: “It is me. I am ready to come home.”
Truthfully, I was not even sure where home was anymore.
###
The trip back was easy enough and I arrived back on the Carpathia in the early hours of the morning.
“Good trip, Mr. Sinclair?” asked Captain Harker, as I arrived.
“Restful,” I replied. Which was true, if not the whole story.
“You’ve got a visitor.”
“Laucian again?” I asked with disinterest.
“No. Miss Fisher.”
That brought me up short. “Where is she?”
“I believe she went to her cabin, Mr. Sinclair. She said she had a long journey and wanted to ‘freshen up’, as the ladies say.” Sometimes Captain Harker sounded older than I did, mostly when he was talking about women.
“Thank you. Get someone to take my bags to my room please.”
I had planned to spend the rest of the evening settling in, but the arrival of Teri Fisher changed my plans on the instant.
I stalked briskly through the corridors of my ship, towards her cabin. Although she spent most of her time away from the ship, she kept a cabin here for convenience, and it was one of the nicer ones available because she was valuable to me. I knocked on her door.
No response.
A sharp tremor of frustration shot through me and I drummed my fingers impatiently on my leg. If Teri was here when I wasn’t expecting a visit from her, then it meant she had news. I knocked again.
Still no answer.
Had she gone out again? Perhaps to look for me?
Breaching all sorts of guidelines regarding social etiquette, I pressed my ear to the door and heard the sound of a shower running. So she was in there…
I paused. It was her cabin and all I had to do was wait.
On the other hand, it was my ship, which meant the cabin was also technically mine. Furthermore, I was quite an impatient man and was not in the mood to wait. Using the card key that opened every door on the ship, I let myself in, calling out to announce myself as I did so, which hopefully made my actions merely rude rather than deeply disturbing.
“Teri! Have you news for me?”
“Sinjin?” came the voice from the shower. “Are you in my room? Did I leave the door open?”
“I am in your room.” I replied, judiciously ignoring her follow up question. “You have news?”
“I’m in the shower.”
“So I surmised. Do you have news?”
She turned off the water. “Sinjin, you came into my room, while I was in the shower.”
“It seems as if we keep going over the same ground. Do you have news?”
I could hear an irritable muttering from the bathroom beyond the comfortable state room.
“Teri? Was that your report you just mentioned? Because I did not hear it.”
“No!” The word was barked back with, I felt, unnecessary venom. “That was me complaining under my breath about the fact that my employer has zero boundaries.”
“So… still not telling me what you are doing back here?”
“This couldn’t have waited until I was dressed?” Teri stormed in angrily in a toweling robe, rubbing ferociously at her averagely brown hair with a towel.
I shrugged. “It probably could have, but since I am here...”
“What if I’d had someone in the shower with me?”
I laughed and waved away her concern with my hand. “On this ship, showering with a lover is hardly taboo. In fact, it is quite tame.”
“Well, I’m pissed off, all the same!”
“My apologies.”
“Please remember that I’m not one of your fawning sycophants or sex-addled slackers. I knew you before you became Grand Panjandrum, El Presidente, Emperor of Vampire-ville—or whatever the hell title you like to go by these days.”
Two hundred years ago, back when she was Theresa, Teri and I had enjoyed a brief fling, but we had been almost apocalyptically ill-suited as lovers, let alone as romantic partners. Fortunately, we did get along as friends and had been of use to each other on numerous occasions through the long years. I trusted her, and she had a useful set of skills, a
ided by her appearance.
Teri was average in every respect; average height, average build and average appearance. She blended into a crowd better than anyone I knew, which was actually quite rare among the vampire community. There is a curious and noticeable tendency among newly turned vampires to dress differently, do their hair distinctively, start wearing excessive make-up, to loll in the shadows or recline over furniture, to change their name to something like Devin or Xena; in short, to do everything they can to stand out.
Historically, this has not always been a survival trait in a species that does not naturally get along with others –mostly on account of the blood-drinking—but in these enlightened times, there were fewer vampire slayers about and so more and more vampires chose to dress like a new romantic band from the nineteen eighties or a laudanum-addicted poet from the eighteen eighties. I, myself, could not claim to be immune to it; I habitually dressed all in black and had a certain gothic style. Though, in my case, I felt it mattered less as I stood out regardless of what I wore, simply on account of my being Sinjin Sinclair. If you have got it, flaunt it, as the saying goes.
Teri had somehow bypassed all this. Not only did she pass for human in even the most discerning company, she passed for a boringly average human. No one looked at Teri twice. On top of this, she was sharply intelligent, keenly observant, endlessly patient and practically fearless. In other words; a perfect spy.
Vampires do not talk about their pasts and Teri was no exception, but I was aware that she had performed the role of undercover agent for prominent historical figures, human and vampire alike—rumors persisted about her role in the downfall of the Third Reich. When I formulated the idea of the Vampire Coalition, I knew not everyone would approve and that I would make enemies (even more than I already had), and one of the first things I did was to contact Teri to ask her to come work for me. Lately however, her main responsibility had been a more personal mission.
“Look,” I tried to be diplomatic, which was not in my nature, “I apologize for walking into your room unbidden. It was rude and inappropriate and the fact that I have already seen you naked does not excuse that. Unless…”
“It doesn’t.”
“I thought not. Once again, I apologize. I would not have done such a thing were it not for the fact that you have returned a month early. Which suggests that something has happened to Bryn or Rowan, so Teri, please, for the love of God, will you tell me if you have news?”
Teri removed the towel from her tousled hair, now drying it into straggly rat tails. “Ten years and you still get all flustered just at the mention of that woman. You really are whipped.”
“Teri…”
“I bet you wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow if you thought something had happened to me when we were together.”
“I would not have,” I confirmed, now getting annoyed. “And right now, I would not piss on you if you were on fire.”
Teri laughed. We had an easy comraderie that appealed to us both. “Alright. You’re grudgingly forgiven. I know how much the Elemental and the kid mean to you.”
“Are they alright?”
Teri nodded, but her face told a different story. “Yeah. For now. To be honest, Sinjin, watching them is generally pretty dull. They lead very dull lives. Kinloch Kirk is a very boring place.”
“It did not use to be.”
“Well, times change. Case in point; your elemental is on the move.”
I frowned. “Bryn has left Kinloch Kirk?”
“Bryn has left Scotland.”
“Without Rowan?” That was surprising.
Teri nodded again. “The old fae is looking after her.”
Mathilda.
That meant Rowan would be safe. I did not currently have any reason to think the Vryloka threat (if it truly existed) applied to Rowan as it did to Emma, but I could not rule it out, and Mathilda would be an admirable protector. She also had protection from me, even if she was not aware of it.
“Who did you leave in your place?” I asked.
“Xander and Bella,” Teri replied. “They’re good operatives and they know how important Rowan is.”
“And Bryn?”
Teri gave a little smile. “Bryn’s a woman on a mission. Literally.”
“Do you have to talk in riddles?”
“I don’t have to,” Teri replied, plugging in a hairdryer, “but it is fun. I noticed that she was preparing for a journey, so I took a closer look.”
The hairdryer blared and I tried to keep my impatience under control. I knew Teri was deliberately frustrating me as payback for my earlier rudeness.
“And?” I asked, when the dryer stopped.
“It wasn’t easy. She and the fae are both magic users and the house has protection. But I managed to sneak in.” Of this I was bitter for I could not step foot on Kinloch Kirk grounds. Not since Bryn had warded me away. Each time I tried, I was shocked in the most repellent of ways. And when that failed to keep me away, she changed the wards so I was unable to find Kinloch Kirk at all.
Luckily, the wards in place against me did not also apply to Teri.
The hairdryer again. I stifled the urge to snatch it and smash it against the wall; she would only find another way to make me sweat.
“And?”
Teri’s eyes flicked up at me and I saw something more like sympathy in her averagely brown eyes. “You never thought the old Queen was dead, did you?”
“The old… Jolie?”
Teri shrugged as she put the hairdryer away and reached for a brush. “I wasn’t on first name terms with her myself, but yeah.”
“Jolie…” It felt strange to speak her name. After so many years. “I never believed her dead.”
“Just disappeared.”
“Just disappeared.”
Teri nodded. “And yet you never were able to find her in Faery, were you?”
I felt my eyes narrow as the memories resurfaced. After Jolie’s disappearance, I spent many long months searching the realm of Faery, trying to find the slightest hint of where she could have gone and with whom. But I had only come back emptyhanded. “I was never able to find her, no.”
“That’s because she was in a place you couldn’t access. Not by visiting Faery, anyway."
“Explain.”
She nodded. “It seems like your elemental has come around to your way of thinking.”
“My way of thinking?”
“Bryn doesn’t believe Jolie is dead and she’s gone looking for her.”
I sat down heavily on Teri’s bed. “Bryn is searching for Jolie… again?” It was no secret to me that Bryn had gone to Faery as soon as Jolie had disappeared. She had searched for her sister as eagerly and urgently as I had. I had followed Bryn there, mainly to keep an eye on her, but also to aid in the search. Of course, Bryn had never realized I had followed her. She had warded a perimeter around herself that disabled me from approaching her within twenty feet. Thus, I had watched her from afar. And when she had given up the search for her sister, had realized Rowan needed her mother, she left Faery. And, yet, I had remained. I had wanted to find Jolie for two reasons—the first was, of course, to return the queen to her home. The second reason had been to prove my innocence, to show Bryn I had nothing to do with Jolie’s disappearance and it was all an ugly game of the Fir Darrig’s creation.
“Where is Bryn?” I demanded.
“I last saw her entering Faery,” she answered. “With the understanding that she would be headed to the Abyss.”
“You lost her?” That wasn’t like Teri.
Teri raised her eyebrows. “One does not just walk into Faery, Sinjin. Certainly not if one is a vampire. I can pass for human, no trouble, but in Faery I stand out too much. And the fae don’t appreciate our kind. I know back in the glory days of the Underworld you went back and forth like it was nothing, but since the queen went bye-bye, they’ve closed the portals. The fae have become more insular, even xenophobic. Particularly towards certain species. I reckon the e
lemental will be fine, but a vampire is just asking for trouble.”
Once she had brushed her hair and put some clothes on (first making me step out into the corridor), Teri gave me a full report, and I walked back to my room with all this information buzzing in my brain. Bryn was looking for Jolie. The selfish part of my mind was busy wondering what this might mean for me, for us; for my family. If she thought Jolie was not dead, then perhaps she might believe I had nothing to do with her sister’s disappearance?
I tried to shake off this self-involved point of view. The Abyss… I did not know much of the place and had believed it mostly legend. And yet… what if it were truly a destination? And what if Jolie had been locked there, all this time?
This was huge. Ten years without even a hint of what might have happened to Jolie—even I had started to believe she was dead—and now… But finding and getting Jolie back from this Abyss would be no easy task. Bryn was setting out on something difficult and dangerous.
By the time I had arrived back in my stateroom, I had already decided she would not be alone.
In my room, my bags stood by the wall, ready to be unpacked. Well, this would save me a step. With a strange shock, I realized I was smiling. It felt like the first time in forever. It was not just about the possibility of a reunion with Bryn, I was happy about the promise of… activity. I had languished here in indolent exile for so long, now I was going to actually be doing something.
I had a quest. An adventure. And it was noble.
The blood seethed in my veins at the thought of it. All the self-pity and self-loathing of recent weeks and months seemed to slough away from me, like I was emerging from hibernation. I felt like myself again—my old self. I was Sinjin Sinclair, Master Vampire, and for the first time in a long time, there was no one else I would rather be. After all, Sinjin Sinclair was a remarkable individual.
TEN
EMMA
“Knock knock!” Jupiter’s head popped through the doorway. “Guess who’s ready to party?”
“I don’t need to guess.” I pushed back my rolling chair from the walled-in desk by the bed, laughing a little. “You’re never not ready to party—why are you still standing outside the door?”
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