by Harlow James
“Well, I need to take her out on an official date now. We ended up having drinks and talking for a while after we left the comedy club, but it’s time to turn on the charm.”
“You mean you haven’t turned it on yet?” She teases.
I chuckle. “Not fully. But at least I made the leap. She’s… she’s stunning, Mom. I really like her. She’s not the type of woman I would normally go after, but I think that’s why I’m drawn to her so much.”
“And see? You never would have met her if your mother hadn’t developed cancer and you had to move home.” She winks, but all it does is remind me that although there’s been some positive changes in my life as a result of moving home, the underlying reason is still there.
“This isn’t a joke, Mom.”
“I know that, Brooks. But if finding some humor or positivity in all of this helps me deal, let me do it, okay? Because the way you’re looking at me right now is painful to see.” She closes her eyes again as a tear slips free from under her eyelid.
“Mom…”
“I’m scared, Brooks. I may not act like it all the time, but I am. It’s unfair how one of the very parts of you that makes you feel like a woman can threaten to take your life. I nursed you as a baby with my breasts, brought life into the world and nurtured it—and now those very same organs are trying to kill me. I still can’t wrap my brain around it.” My thoughts have gone to the same place recently, even though I see human bodies work against themselves on a daily basis. However, I also see the human body heal itself in miraculous ways—so those rare moments are giving me an ounce of hope to cling to.
“I’m scared too, Mom. But right now, we just need to focus our energy on you fighting, okay? Hope is the only thing stronger than fear. I’m right here and I will be until it’s over, alright?”
She nods, opening her eyes again to me, giving me a thin-lipped smile. “I’m trying.”
Later that afternoon, I meet up with Ethan at town hall to go for a run. I have to return to work tomorrow, but I need to rid my body of the anger and frustration I feel productively.
“How did this morning go?”
My head sways from side to side, not wanting to re-live watching my mom furrow her brows in pain as the medication leaked into her veins. “Fucking horrible. I hate this shit, Ethan.”
“I know, Brooks. At least she’s resting at home now.”
“Yeah. Your mom is with her for the night since I have to go in early tomorrow morning for work.” As much as I don’t want to leave my mom right after her treatment, the idea of going back to work is a distraction I definitely need right now. And I’ll get to see Jess, which definitely helps lighten my mood as well.
“So how did Saturday night turn out?” He asks, the two of us catching our stride as we jog around the park on the cement pathway, making a turn to start our last lap.
“How about you go first?” I never even said goodbye to my cousin once Jess gave me the green light to take her away, so I have no idea what transpired that evening for him either.
Ethan’s face lights up. “I met someone.”
“No shit. Was it that blonde?”
His head bobs up and down in time with his feet. “Yup. Her name is Mariah, and fuck, man. She’s perfect.”
“Nice.”
“She’s a kindergarten teacher and one year younger than me. Her parents are still married, she has two brothers, and she’s a huge movie buff, like me. I sat down at her table at the start of the fifth date, and just kept telling guys to move around me, not letting anyone else talk to her, which she thought was hilarious. We spent the entire second hour in natural conversation and it flew by, so of course I asked for her number. I’m taking her out this week.”
“Good for you, man. I’m happy for you, Ethan. That was exactly the result I was hoping you’d get from that night.”
He chuckles as we turn the corner. “Thanks. I’m optimistic. There’s definitely a connection there, but I’m not about to get all of my hopes up, like I usually do. Because if things don’t work out with her, I might consider just giving up. So… how did it go with Jess? Was she mad?”
Jess’s reaction when I confronted her outside of the bathroom is one I won’t soon forget. I feel like it takes a lot to surprise the woman, and I definitely succeeded, especially when I told her why I was there. “I wouldn’t necessarily say mad, but I could tell that I definitely through her a curve ball. I admitted that I came with you, but don’t worry, I assured her it was my idea to be there—not that you sort of blackmailed me into going.”
“Thanks. I finally found a girl I’m crazy about, so the last thing I need is Jess threatening to chop my balls off.”
“Agreed.”
“So what happened?”
I check my watch to make sure we’re keeping up our pace before I answer. “Well, I was straightforward with her. Told her I liked her and wanted to get to know her better. And then she confessed she felt the same way.”
“Excellent.”
“Yup. So we left. I drug her out of that club so no other guys even had the slightest opportunity to talk to her again, and then we went to Tony’s for a few drinks and just talked. I did kiss her at the end of the night, though,” I say proudly, reliving how Jess’s lips felt on mine. She was so soft and melted into me that I had a hard time controlling myself. I wanted nothing more than to drag her inside her apartment and taste all of her—but I knew that would rush things. And after she confessed her troubled dating outlook, I didn’t want her to feel pressured to do anything she wasn’t ready to do.
“Oh, man. So what’s gonna happen now when you two have to work together and remain professional?”
“I’m gonna have to try to control my dick around her. Which is easier said than done,” I quip.
Ethan laughs. “I’m happy for you, Brooks. But please don’t tell me about your dick.”
“Noted.”
“Maybe if all goes well, the four of us can go out on a double date sometime,” he suggests.
“Definitely. But right now, I kind of just want her all to myself.”
“I completely understand. Does she—are you gonna tell her about your mom?”
During our conversation the other night, Jess asked me what my biggest fear is after she revealed her almost-drowning incident. My mom dying from breast cancer, I wanted to say, but it’s not something I’m willing to share just yet—maybe because if I say it out loud it makes it true.
So instead, I went with something that borders on that fact, but can be construed in multiple ways, satisfying her question without alluding to the actual reason I’m afraid daily. “Ending up alone,” I said, because if my mom dies, I will be alone.
Even though I know I still have Ethan and his mom, my mother is my only immediate family and losing her will be a pain I’ve never experienced before.
But Jess makes me smile when some days all I feel I’m capable of is frowning. And if she can grant me that little slice of relief from the impending uncertainty of my mother’s survival right now—well, I want to focus on that and leave my daunting reality out of it.
“Not yet. I don’t want her pity. I don’t want her to feel like she has to walk on eggshells around me, or give me her sympathy. When I’m around her, she helps me forget about the cancer. And those rare moments are keeping me moving, man. I don’t want to fuck with that yet.”
“Okay,” Ethan agrees. “But if things get serious, you know you’re going to have to tell her, eventually.”
We race to the bench that we started at, sprinting to the finish line before slowing to a stop. As I try to catch my breath and chug some water, I answer him. “I know.”
“Hey, Brooks.” A familiar voice pulls my head to the side as I see Cooper and Clara walking up to us, tugging a giant German Shepard beside them. Clara has that pregnant lady waddle down to a science as Cooper looks down at her and beams.
“Hey, man. Clara. Nice to see you guys.”
“Likewise. Isn’
t this your cousin?” Cooper points at Ethan before commanding his dog to sit. “Stay, Roark.”
“Yeah, man. This is Ethan. Ethan, you know Cooper, right?”
Ethan moves forward to shake Cooper’s hand. “Yup. We see each other around town on scene every once in a while. How’s it going?”
“Good, good.” Cooper smiles as Clara rubs her belly.
“We had to take Roark for a walk and lord knows I need the exercise right now,” Clara adds, gesturing to her stomach.
“Exercise is good,” I laugh. “We were just finishing up our run and then I’ve got to get to the hospital. I’ve got a late/early shift—whatever you want to classify it as.”
Clara sighs. “Man, I remember when I used to be able to run.”
“Me too, babe. I loved watching your ass when you were in front of me.” Clara swats at Cooper’s chest and then kisses him. My friend is clearly content in his life and has grown up from the scrawny boy I remember years ago.
It’s crazy that at this point in my life, I’ve never considered having what he does. But as I settle in to being home and this longing for Jess develops with an intense strength that borderline scares me, I am starting to see the allure to having roots and building a future with someone else.
His gaze lingers on her a bit before he turns back to face me. “Hey, before I forget, I wanted to know if you had next Saturday free?”
I mentally assess my schedule, recalling I have to work Sunday, but so far no plans for Saturday. I figured I’d try to see if Jess is free during the week for our date since I know she rarely gets weekends off. “Nope, not yet. Why? What’s up?”
“Well, next weekend is Cash’s bachelor party. We’re not doing anything crazy, like seeing strippers and shit. But he wanted to hike and then hangout that night and have some drinks. You wanna come? Ethan, you’re welcome too.”
Even though I only met the Cash one time, it would be nice to hang out with some guys for a change, especially since Cooper and I had said we wanted to catch up. “Sure. What the hell… I’m in.”
“I’m not sure if I’m free yet, but I’ll let you know,” Ethan replies as well. I’m sure he’s probably banking on seeing Mariah that night and doesn’t want to commit to a night with some fellas just yet.
Clara reaches up and pinches Cooper’s cheek playfully. “Aw, look at you making friends, Twiggy.”
I almost choke on my saliva as I laugh. “Oh, shit! You’re the one who used to call him that, huh? Damn, how did I forget that?” I can’t help but hold my stomach as laughter rolls through me.
“Oh, that’s right. You two knew each other in high school! Aw, Coop… you told people about the nickname I gave you?” She grins.
Cooper narrows his eyes at her. “Yeah. I told them how much I fucking hated it and needed to get ripped so you’d stop calling me that.”
I keep chuckling through my words. “You should have seen him in the weight room, Clara. I thought he was taking steroids at one point because he was so obsessed with getting bigger. Damn… that’s too fucking funny. Thanks. I needed that laugh.”
Clara smiles over at me. “Glad I could be of help. By the way, Brooks, thanks for taking such wonderful care of Penny in the ER a few weeks ago. She’s back to her usual self, except for her sexual exploitations, of course.”
That woman was one of the horniest old ladies I’d ever encountered, but damn, did she make me laugh, even when she was having a heart attack. “No problem. That’s my job.”
“Between you and Jess, I knew she was in excellent hands.”
I can’t help the smile that builds as soon as Clara mentions Jess. “Yeah. Jess is one of the best nurses we have on the staff.”
Cooper and Ethan share a glance while Clara tilts her head at me curiously. “Glad to hear. Anyway, come on, Coop. We need to get Roark here his exercise, and I need to walk off that second helping of lasagna.”
He pulls on Roark’s leash as they start to walk away. “I’ll text you the details, Brooks. Good to see you, Ethan. Have a good night, guys.” He waves and then saunters off, holding Clara’s hand as they make their way around the park.
“Did she just call him Twiggy?” Ethan comes up next to me and asks, putting me back into a fit of laughter as we get ready to leave.
“Yup.”
On my way back to my condo, I call Aunt Liz to check on my mom, confirming that she’s extremely tired and nauseous after her treatment, which is to be expected. I remind her I’ll have my phone on me in case anything happens and then I shower and dress for work. I do my best to put my mother’s cancer on the back burner before I make a pit stop at Skye’s to get Jess and myself a little extra pick-me-up for tonight, hoping that the coffee will put a smile on her face.
Because that’s what Jess does for me—she helps me remember to smile, because the woman helps to remind me that there’s always a rainbow after a storm.
Chapter 10
Jess
“Okay, I’ve given you enough time since the speed dating event to process and sleep. And I knew I would see you on shift tonight, so you’ve got to fill me in. I’m dying.”
Piper leans across the top of the nurses’ station, her face alive with excitement as she drills me for details of my night a few days ago. We finally have a free moment to talk as I sit in the chair at the computer and type in some chart notes.
“Well, the first half was frustrating. But there was actually one guy that caught my attention.”
“Seriously? That’s great!”
“Yeah,” I say smugly, waiting to drop the twist. “He’s super tall, which, I mean, almost all men are compared to me.” She laughs and then urges me to continue. “He’s smart, confident, told me he was interested in me with no hesitation. And dear God, Piper… he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”
Her eyes are wide, her cheeks are high and raised from her beaming grin, and then she stands tall like she’s about to bounce up out of her shoes. “Oh, my gosh! This is so exciting! So what does he do?”
I give her the side-eye and then turn back to my computer as I drop the last hint. “He’s a doctor.”
That makes her head tilt on its axis. “What?”
“Brooks was there,” I whisper over at her and then her elation from before comes back almost instantaneously.
“Shut up! Oh, my god!” She squeals under her breath and then races around the counter to hug me. “It was him? All the stuff you just said was about him?” Her energy is concerning right now, but I’m actually enjoying her excitement too much to ask her to calm down.
“I nod. It was incredible. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was extremely confused at first. Turns out Ethan told him I would be there. So he showed up just for me.”
Piper’s eyes go wide and then her hands clasp over her chest. “Oh, I can’t. You’re making me swoon!”
I laugh elatedly, struggling to relax my face since my cheeks hurt from smiling so much over the past few days and the development between us. “I know. We ended up leaving and going to Tony’s. We talked and it was so effortless, Piper—like we’ve been doing it forever. He called me out, told me not to be nervous around him like I have been because he knows I feel the same way he does. It was refreshing how he was so forward and honest about his feelings, which I’ve never encountered from another guy before. So needless to say, I’m excited to see where things go.”
“So, what happens now?”
“Now, he brings her coffee.”
I turn in a flash to see a beaming Brooks standing behind me, holding two cups of coffee from Skye’s Creations. He looks so handsome and clean, like he just stepped out of the shower before coming here. His blue scrubs hug his body and show off the sculpted physique I sense he’s hiding underneath, but nothing will ever compare to what he looked like in that suit the other night.
“Uh, how much of that did you hear?” I ask nervously, chewing on my thumbnail.
The curl of his lips indicates he heard enough. “I walked up at
‘he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen’, but I already knew you felt that way. Here,” he says and then hands me the cup of coffee before leaning down and kissing my cheek. My internal temperature automatically spikes.
I grimace and then turn back to the computer. “Great,” I mumble as I hear Brooks chuckle behind me.
“You’re welcome, and there’s no need to be embarrassed. Piper is your friend. She needs to know what’s going on in your life. But,” he lowers his voice and then spins my chair around so he’s hovering over me, forcing me to crane my neck back to look at him. “We should probably keep things quiet just for right now around everyone else here.” He gives me a wink and then stands back up, allowing me to relax my neck. I might have to invest in regular massages if I’m going to continue seeing this giant.
“Uh, I agree.” The thud of my heart in my ribcage momentarily freezes my ability to form sentences. Finally, I manage to converse like a normal human being. “Thank you for the coffee,” I say, holding the cup up before taking a sip, the sweet nectar of life hitting my tongue, warming me up from the inside out. Although seeing Brooks tonight helped with that all on his own.
“I need to go make my rounds, but I’ll catch up with you soon.” He grants me his sexy smirk and then says goodbye to Piper before walking off in the direction he came from.
“Jess…” she starts with a slacked jaw and wide eyes. “You are in so much trouble with that one.”
I reciprocate the movement. “Don’t I know it.”
I only have a few more hours on my shift, so I hustle to finish my charts and then take care of a few new patients that get processed during the early hours of the morning. Just as I’m about to leave, Brooks runs up to me and yanks me by the hand around the corner, opening a door to an on-call room, and then shutting it behind me.
“Jesus, Brooks. I was going to say goodbye to you before I left. No need to kidnap me.” I’m teasing him, but the heat in his eyes tells me he’s not playing.
