After a few minutes of sitting and trying to clear her head of the last of the fuzziness, she thought she might attempt to stand up. She was alone in the tent, and there was little in it besides the cot and a small trunk. No one had poked a head in since she had started moving, so she decided she needed to go outside and see if she could find out anything for herself.
She knew it was a mistake the moment her feet touched the ground and she started to stand. Her knees had no strength, and there was no way she could catch herself. All she could do was try to brace herself as she watched the ground approach. She tried not to cry out, but when she hit, an involuntary grunt came out anyway. Between that and the soft thud of her body hitting the ground, there were, within seconds, no less than three heads poking through the front of the tent. One of them belonged to a woman she was sure she had seen somewhere before, but she could not place the face and couldn’t even begin to try to think of a name. The woman stepped into the tent when she saw the girl moving and told the others to go back out.
“Your Highness, are you all right? How are you feeling?” As she asked those questions, she helped the girl back up onto the cot, but she did not make her lay back down. Instead, she sat down beside her and took her hand as if she were trying to comfort her.
“My head, it is excruciating, and I feel dizzy and, well, weak, obviously. Much weaker than I thought I was if I can’t even stand up . . . but who are you? And why are we here? What is going on?” The girl could tell her questions disturbed the woman even more than she had been when she found her lying on the floor, but the woman didn’t let it show in her voice.
“Princess, you were injured while trying to escape the planet, you have a nasty head wound, and you have been traveling from one checkpoint to the next with groups of us. We are all loyal to you and—and your family. We are here to keep you safe. Do you remember any of this?” As the woman spoke, the flashes of bloody scenes that had been haunting the edges of the girl’s thoughts and dreams came to the front of her mind, but were gone again before she could focus on them.
“I . . . I thought those were nightmares, but I can only remember flashes. Is that why you look familiar? I feel like I know you, but I don’t know why or how.” The girl had to look away from the flash of pain she saw in the woman’s eyes, as there was nothing she could do to prevent it.
The woman tucked a strand of hair behind the girl’s ear, on the side that wasn’t injured, and tilted her head to look her straight in the eye. “Avila, I was there when you were born, and they needed a nursemaid. I have been there for you through countless scraped knees and trees climbed, even when you knew you weren’t supposed to. Now, with you on the cusp of adulthood, I will be here for you as you learn to be the queen to lead us all. You may not be blood of my blood, but I raised you, and no one will touch you as long as I am here to protect you.”
“You—thank you. I know it isn’t enough, and I don’t know everything, but I know I can trust you. My heart tells me what my memories do not.” The girl was now holding the woman’s hand, and they sat that way for a few minutes.
“You need to rest, Princess. I won’t give you the medicines that will make you sleep until after you have eaten so you can try to rebuild your strength. You have had a fever on top of your injury, and have been out for several days now. We have been able to give you the barest of sustenance, but if you can handle it, some food should make you feel much better.” Without another word, the woman walked out, but was back within moments with a bowl of stew that was mostly broth. It smelled delicious.
“I guess I am still to take it easy?” The girl said this with a little bit of a laugh as she sipped at the hot broth and only occasionally caught a vegetable.
“Tell you what, if you can handle all of that, I might be able to see if we have something a little more solid after. Only if that stays down, and you don’t start getting too sleepy or start hurting too much.” The byplay between them seemed natural and comfortable. The girl could feel herself relaxing, and she hadn’t even realized she had been so apprehensive before.
She finished all the stew and handed off the bowl. However, before it could be taken away, there was a commotion outside, and a dirty man almost fell into the tiny tent. “They have found out we have the princess here. I don’t know how, but they are on the way. Now.” His announcement was made with no preamble at all, but he stopped and stood up straighter and then dipped into a low bow when he saw that the princess was awake and sitting up next to the woman.
“Your Highness, it is good you are awake. Anything we can do to make it easier and faster to get you out of here will make your chances of survival that much higher.” At his words, the girl’s tension came back with a vengeance.
“My survival? What exactly is going on?” With a surprisingly steady voice that didn’t show any sign of the fear she was feeling, she focused on the given answers.
“My lady, we need to move you quickly, before the Trogand forces reach this camp. We managed to reach the planet and set up at least two dozen camps before they found out you survived. We were hoping to move you before they found out which camp you were in. However, your injury was worse than we expected, and they have found us. I was able to leave the city before their troops, but they will be here within the hour. Everyone in this camp has been identified and compromised. I am sorry, I know you are probably not ready to move, but we must leave immediately. No one else from the camp may come. They can all be identified and would give us away. I can hope to hide you, maybe, but not if anyone else is spotted as well.” The man was not looking at the girl as he said most of this; even though he was addressing her, he was staring at the woman beside her. The woman’s features had turned resolute.
She turned to the girl and once more picked up her hand. Her grip was almost painful. The girl didn’t object. Something told her it didn’t matter. “Avila, my princess, you will need to leave now, and you will need to be strong. I will not be able to go with you and protect you like I said I would, but I will always watch over you, no matter where we both are, from in here.” She gently touched the girl’s chest. “You will go now with Mikael, and he will take care of you. You can trust him like you trust me. We all need you to survive. One day, you will be the hope of an entire people. You may not remember right now, but you were born for that, and raised to carry that torch. You will be more than capable of it; I have faith in you, but you must survive. Go! Now!” She helped the girl stand with those last words, which was much easier since she had eaten something. She then turned her over to Mikael.
She turned one last time to look at the woman. Larissa—that was her name. It came floating back to her from somewhere more pleasant than her most recent flashes. “Goodbye, Larissa, and I promise I will do everything in my power to fulfill all of my duties. That includes surviving. Please do the same; I would like to see you again when I can remember more than just your name. Something tells me I want to.”
Her words and her remembrance of Larissa’s name brought a smile to the woman’s lips where there had been only foreboding before. Now, there was a spark of hope. No more words were needed, and the two slipped out of the camp with no fanfare and no one watching which direction they went. If no one knew where they were, then no one could accidentally give that information away.
The girl had to occasionally lean on the man for support, but he reassured her it was not far to where he had a secure transport. They could use it to get them both to a city where they could get lost for a few days, and then get off the planet. They were only about thirty minutes out of the camp when they started hearing explosions behind them. From where they were located on a slight rise, they had the cover of trees but still had a partial view of the camp behind them, and the girl turned to see significant portions of it completely obliterated. Mikael tried to turn her to rush her on, but she stood rooted to the spot.
“Mikael, do you have a spyglass?” Her words were c
lipped and authoritative, a change from the uncertainty that had been in her voice when she was relying on others for answers.
“Princess, we must keep moving. We are almost to the transport, and if they are already at the camp, they will eventually pick up our trail, even if no one knows where we went. I am sure they will have trackers.”
“Those people down there—every single one of them—are down there because of me, are they not?” She looked at him at last, and he stepped back upon seeing the fire that burned in her young eyes. “I may only have vague memories, but I know this is not the first sacrifice on my behalf. I can’t even begin to guess how many lives have been lost, and I will not let their sacrifices come to naught, but I will honor them. Now, do you have a spyglass or not?”
Mikael stared at her, almost as if realizing for the first time whom he had been protecting. Not just a figurehead, but an actual royal; young she may be. She had been raised to take command, and was clearly ready to do so when the time came. Hope gleamed in his eyes as he gave a curt nod and said, “Yes, Princess, I have a spyglass, but you must hurry.”
He handed her the narrow tube, and she quickly used it to search through the remains of the camp for any signs of life. She was hoping that most of the people had left soon after they had. Unfortunately, they had all stayed. They had set up an ambush for the incoming troops, and there was heavy fighting in the camp. The princess swallowed the bile that threatened to come up. She owed it to these men and women to remember them and their sacrifices for her; she would not look away.
She had only planned to look through the camp to see what had happened before they moved on. However, before she got all the way through the battlefield below, the glass landed on the spot near where her tent used to stand. All that was there now was a small pit, and standing several feet away was a group of men holding Larissa up by her arms. She was bleeding from several cuts on her face and arms and smiling widely at the man facing her. He was bald, but that was all Avila could tell since his back was to her.
He gestured wildly, and she watched as Larissa laughed before the man walked away. Then another man with a gun walked up, and while Larissa grinned at him, he shot her in the head.
Avila woke up screaming for the first time in over a month and choking on the sobs she couldn’t hold back. She was still overwhelmed by the disjointed images of the dream, and the loss and burning hatred boiling inside her were so intense she couldn’t stop the wracking cries that just kept coming.
Suddenly, there was a warm pair of arms around her and a voice in her ear telling her it was just a dream, that it was going to be all right. A gentle hand was on her hair, soothing the cries into submission. She leaned into the muscular chest and let her breathing return to normal.
As she calmed, so did her thinking, and she became aware of her surroundings. It wasn’t light yet, so it must have been early morning. Yet here she was in her bed, crying, with Galdren of all people comforting her. She also realized she must have woken him, since he had no shirt on.
“Are you all right now?” He leaned back so he could look at her face, but he didn’t release her. She made no effort to get away.
“I am—I am better now.” She wanted to talk about the dream, but she was still unsettled by the whole thing. She knew she should probably move, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the comfort of his arms. Instead, she laid her head back on his chest and tried to stem the tears that were still flowing.
He continued to hold her while she calmed down. “Galdren . . . thank you.” Her voice was muffled since she hadn’t moved. He lifted one hand and gently pushed her hair off her face, then tucked it behind her ear so she could speak more clearly.
“I wasn’t sure of what I heard at first; I was still half asleep, but you sounded so scared. I had to come see what was wrong. You didn’t even see me; you had no idea I was here.” He touched her face briefly to wipe away a stray tear. “It was a little frightening. I knew you had nightmares, but I haven’t seen you like that before.”
“I am sorry. Sorry for frightening you, sorry for waking you up, and sorry for acting like a child last night. I am sorry for burdening you with my problems when I know you have your own to deal with.” She apologized for her actions the night before without even thinking, but as soon as she said it, she knew it was the right thing to do. She had run away from her confused feelings about Galdren instead of facing them. Still, for worse or better, they would have to be dealt with.
“It’s all right, Avila. I am not worried about it, and you shouldn’t be either. Tell me, if you want to, what happened?” His question erased all thoughts of uncertainties from her mind and brought back the memories of the dream. A fresh stream of tears started that she couldn’t seem to stop. She felt foolish, but her emotions were just too raw.
“It was another bloody nightmare, another dream where I was being chased, but . . . I—I have the impression that I knew some of the people, and—and I watched—I watched them being murdered.” She had to stop because her voice had started cracking. She needed a moment to get herself under control before she could continue. He gave her the time she needed without pressure. “The people that were chasing me, chasing us, murdered them because I got away. It was my fault all those people died. Why? Why am I haunted by such nightmares?”
She didn’t really expect any answers. She was certain it had something to do with the past that was locked away in her mind, and she wasn’t so sure anymore it was a good idea to unlock it. Unless . . . there was a chance it was all true? But she didn’t want to mention that; it was a crazy thought, and wasn’t as though they did her much good when she could only remember bits and pieces. Still, if it were true, by the goddess herself, not a person responsible would be left standing; they would all pay. The image of the bald man’s head flared in her mind’s eye.
The righteous fire that suddenly blazed inside her finally worked to dry up her tears as she thought about the fact that she did not have to be helpless. She looked up at Galdren, ready to thank him again and move away, but the words died on her lips.
Her resolve must have come across in her body language, and now the flames that had leapt up into her eyes were reflected in his, smoldering and breathtaking. She became acutely aware of every inch of their bodies that was touching. The hand he had used earlier to brush back her hair he now brought up to trace her cheekbone with the back of his knuckles, then her jawline. She couldn’t move a muscle and didn’t want to. She was so entranced by his eyes that she almost forgot to breathe.
His hand moved to the side of her neck as he slowly lowered his face to hers without their gaze ever breaking. His lips softly brushed hers with almost no pressure at all, but she melted into him. Her eyes closed, and one hand went around his neck while the other splayed across the sleek muscles of his chest as she leaned into him. As he pulled her tighter to him, she couldn’t help the small sound that came from somewhere deep in her throat. Desire pooled somewhere in her middle, low down, and it felt as if all the nerves in her body were extra alert to every sensation she was feeling.
His hand had moved a little to tangle in the hair at the nape of her neck, so she couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. However, as his mouth moved over hers, she lost all thoughts of pushing away from him. Her right hand had slipped down to rest on his stomach and the left was winding into the fine hairs at the nape of his neck. She was becoming lost in the wonders of this man who was miraculously here in her arms.
In the next moment, however, he pulled away from her. The absence of his arms left coldness in their wake. Then he was holding her by the shoulders and looking at her intently. It took a moment for her desire-drugged mind to realize all was not well.
“Avila, I am so sorry. There is no excuse for me to ever take advantage of you like this.” His words were like a splash of frigid water on her fiery skin, instantly cooling any desire she still felt.
“You
did not take advantage of me. You kissed me. That is all.” She flushed slightly as she said those words. She couldn’t believe any of the last few minutes had happened.
His eyes hardened at her words, and he stood to further distance himself from her. “You are vulnerable, in more ways than one, and I—” He turned away from her and walked toward the door. He paused to glance back over his shoulder before he walked out and said, “Do not worry, it will never happen again.” Then, just like that, he was gone.
The reality of the situation came crashing down around her ears. It brought home pointedly every reason she had ever told herself to not even allow a fragment of a fantasy about him to flourish. She may belong to him, but his plans for her, if he did have any, obviously did not involve her in that way.
Perhaps it had been a momentary lapse in judgment on his part. Brought on by what, though? That was the question. A lack of sleep and the proximity of a warm body? The goddess herself only knew how many other offers he had, more tempting to be sure and far more experienced. She didn’t need to be told. She already knew he was surrounded by people all the time. It was only a wonder that she had never thought that some, if not most, of them were women wanting a part of him. She had no right to be jealous—no reason, or at least no claim to his affection. He may have said “vulnerable,” but his actions told her enough. Her inexperience must be no comparison to the other women available to him.
Shattered Dreams Page 6
