“First and foremost, I want you to understand that there will be two guards outside this door when you are in this room at all times. If you decide you want to leave, one of them will go with you as protection. The other one will stay here for two reasons. First, to guard the room against intrusion, and secondly so that there will be constant contact regarding your whereabouts back to this location. Each guard will be equipped with a com unit.” Avila looked like she was about to object, but Galdren didn’t pause.
“Also, I do not want you to go anywhere outside of the family wing without me. This wing is quite large, and you should be able to keep yourself occupied, but beyond that, there are too many variables. I would feel better if I were with you.” He finally paused long enough for her to give input if she wanted to.
She couldn’t entirely hide the sigh she tried to stifle, but didn’t complain. Instead she answered, “I will follow the rules. That’s really not a lot to ask. Is there anything else I need to know about?”
Galdren was glad that she wasn’t going to make a fuss. It really was for her own good, especially after the past weekend. He didn’t know who he could trust yet, but he felt better having her close to him. It would also help alleviate unwanted rumors if people got to know her, or so he hoped. “The only other thing you need to know is that sometime in the next week, they will be coming in to install com units in your rooms, as well as mine. In the meantime, there are standard ones that we can turn on when we go to bed. Please don’t forget.”
She didn’t answer right away, but eventually turned her face down and whispered, “Thank you for everything, Galdren. I will remember it all and heed your advice.”
He could hear the slight tremble in her voice but couldn’t for the life of him understand why she was upset. He thought all of his requests were reasonable. He was just trying to take care of her, so why did this have to be hard? He took a breath and counted to ten. He didn’t want to start an argument if there wasn’t one, and she had said she would heed his advice. Maybe it was just the day taking its toll. He did not need to jump to conclusions. “Avila, I promise it will all turn out all right if you let me take care of things.”
Despite his reassurances, Avila started to cry in earnest. Galdren sighed in frustration, but he was still at her side in a moment. He knelt in front of her and took both of her hands in his. “Please explain what is going on. I can’t fix what I don’t know is broken.”
Unfortunately, his words only made her cry harder. Though, she did try speaking through her sobs. “I’m—I’m not angry—it’s—it’s—just that I’m over—overwhelmed.”
That was all she got out before she gave up, but it was enough for Galdren to understand. His features softened immediately, and it took him only a moment to pick Avila up and sit back down in the seat she had been occupying with her in his lap. He cradled her head on his shoulder and held her there until he could feel her tears subside.
―
After a while, Avila sighed almost imperceptibly, and she pushed herself back away from him. She was just glad he was understanding and not upset over her outburst. She knew she was already sick of all her wayward emotions and the tears they caused. There was no way Galdren couldn’t be as well.
She eyed his now-ruined shirt and then looked back up at him. “You know, I’m going to have to quit doing this. Not only will it give the rumor hounds something to talk about, but you won’t have enough of a wardrobe left to speak of.”
He smiled at her attempt at humor. “Let me take care of the rumor hounds, and as for my wardrobe, well, rest assured that I can cover it.” He winked at her, and she had to laugh.
Now that she had cried herself out, she felt better, and although she knew she should move, she was having a hard time finding the motivation. Especially since it was so easy to sit there and joke with him. She sighed, then looked at him one last time—and when she did, she thought she caught an echo of the fire she had seen in his eyes once before. She froze. Her breathing became rapid, and she couldn’t see anything now but his smile. Eventually, she realized it looked a little strained. She may have been imagining things, but if his smile was strained, that meant she was pushing it and needed to move.
“Thank you for understanding, Galdren.” She stood and turned to face him again. “I know I am emotional, but it is only because you do so much for me, not because I think you are restricting me. I feel special because of you.”
She almost bit her tongue after that last admission, but with her recent outburst and her addled thoughts, it wasn’t a surprise. At least she hadn’t confessed to loving him; that would have been a disaster.
He smiled and stood to join her. “You are already special. It’s about time you started seeing it.”
He grabbed her hand and brought her to stand in front of the bookcase. From there, she could see out the bay window into the gardens, and it was beautiful. She shifted her attention as he pointed to the boxes. “I will need to leave soon, so you will have the rest of the afternoon to unpack and put everything where you want it. I will be sending Etta over to help as soon as I leave. She works in my suites, and since yours are adjoining, she will now work with yours as well.”
Avila was having difficulty ignoring the fact that he had not yet released her hand, but she wasn’t going to pull away. It was almost a disappointment when his eyes flitted down after his explanation, and he dropped it quickly as he said, “I didn’t get the chance earlier to tell you about the other places you can visit in this wing. The first one obviously is the gardens. You can see them from the window here, but you have to go around to one of the hallway entrances to access the area; there isn’t an entrance directly from your room, even if it is on the ground level.”
He walked to stand in front of the window and pointed out. From there, she could see a layout of large flower beds with winter-blooming plants on display. It seemed that with the shift in season, the gardeners had already been hard at work to update the garden greenery.
She could see what looked like a hedge maze in the distance and what was most likely a hothouse. She had to admit that she was looking forward to exploring the gardens. It wasn’t the woods, but it looked beautiful nonetheless.
19. Settled In
Avila’s attention was drawn from the gardens when Galdren spoke again. “We also have a library in this wing. It isn’t as big as the Great Library in the common wing, but it is still well stocked. You are welcome to go there at any time. If you happen to want to visit the Great Library, you can, just let me know when you would like to go and I will make arrangements to take you.”
The library wasn’t as exciting as the gardens since she had never been as much into reading as she had been into the outdoors. However, it still appealed to her, especially now that she had a newfound love of reading just for the fun of it. “So, the gardens and the library. Is there anywhere else on your recommendations list?”
He smiled at her quip. “Well, those are the two main rooms in this wing. The rest are bedroom suites like yours and mine. There was a time when the royal family was quite large. Now, most of those are empty and kept closed off. Those are all at the far end of the hall. We are at the end of the hall nearest the commons, and my parents are just down and across from here. The library is directly across the hall from your room. You will also find an entrance to the gardens not far from your door here. Just remember to never go anywhere alone, please.”
She had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes at his repeated admonition. The only reason she didn’t was that she knew he just wanted what was best for her. That, and she still had a clear image of crying on his shoulder just a short while ago. His actions and concern meant too much to her to disrespect him over something so trivial. “I know you want to keep me safe, and I will do my part. I will make sure to always have one guard with me if I am out of this room.”
He laughed at her ill-concealed irrita
tion, which made her all the more annoyed. However, before she could do more than glower at him, he gently placed his hand on her shoulder, effectively stopping any retort. “Avila, I know this is another big change for you, but I also know that you will be able to take it all in stride. There have been many big changes for both of us in a short time, but I think you are adapting wonderfully, and I know this move will not be any different. Besides, this will give you more opportunities.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted anything to do with the opportunities that being at the castle might provide, but she had two choices: either accept it with grace or fight against the inevitable. With a deep sigh, she let her irritation run out of her. She didn’t have anything to be mad at Galdren for anyway. He was just trying to do what he thought was best.
With his hand on her shoulder like it was, she was tempted to take a step forward and embrace him, but decided it would be best not to push her luck. Instead, she looked up at him and smiled. “I know there will be changes, but as long as the important stuff stays the same, I can be happy anywhere.”
She wasn’t sure what moved her to make that confession so suddenly; maybe it was his hand still on her shoulder, but she knew she had to get some distance between them quickly. She took a step back, and his hand fell away. Without him touching her, she felt a little easier, but still embarrassed. She walked across the room to the table under the guise of inspecting it to put a little distance between them.
She glanced up and saw that Galdren looked confused, but he gave her a moment before following her. “I have other duties I need to attend to today, but I think you can take care of unpacking on your own. I will make sure to send Etta in to help. Also, if you need anything, for now, let one of the guards know. Once the com system is set up, you will be able to call whomever you need.”
As much as Avila enjoyed his company, she was glad to see him go. She needed to get her emotions under control before she said something she couldn’t take back. “Thank you, I would appreciate the help. I hope to see you again later.”
“I’ll be back around dinnertime. It will be served in the adjoining room. Feel free to take a little time to look around if you want to.” He walked to the door. “Until this evening, then.”
Just like that, he was gone again. Avila knew she had made a mess of things, but she hoped he could understand the last few days had been a few of her worst. Reeling from an emotional roller coaster was reasonable as far as she was concerned.
There was no use worrying about it, and she had plenty to keep her busy. She decided to start with unpacking her personal things, which would also give her the opportunity to inspect her sleeping quarters and the bathing room.
Once she walked into the sleeping room, she had to stop and stare for a moment. Although the room was smaller than her sitting room, it was far more opulent. The bed was a large four-post that dominated one wall. On each side of it were tall windows with dark blue curtains drawn back to let in the light. There was also a large armoire and chest of drawers made of a dark, intricately carved wood along the far wall.
This was far too much for just her. She was almost too afraid to look into the bathing room, but she would have to go in there eventually. She decided to take a quick peek and was not surprised to find that it was just as expansive and elegant as the rest of the suite. There was a deep, carved stone tub inlaid into the middle of the floor with a couple of steps on one side and several knobs on the far side. It looked like it was set up to produce water jets once it was full. The rest of the standard amenities were there as well, but in a stylish and tasteful array.
It was too much. She needed a moment to adjust to the enormity of what was all around her and the fact that she would be living like this for the rest of her life unless Galdren changed his mind and decided he wanted to ship her off somewhere.
The lack of control over her own life, the extent of all the changes, and everything she had been through in the last few days finally overwhelmed her, and she broke down again. Before she had much time to cry herself out, she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She tried her best to clear her tears, but she knew it was a futile effort. When she went to answer the door, she had to look twice before she realized she wasn’t looking at Olva. The woman standing before her looked similar, but she was obviously younger. “My apologies, I was—I was distracted. You must be Etta. Are you related to a woman named Olva?”
The woman smiled slightly at the question, even though Avila regretted being so nosey as soon as she asked. However, Etta took it in stride. “I had been warned that you were incurably curious. I am Etta ma’am, and Olva is my older sister. Now, I am here to help you unpack if you still need assistance. Is there anything in particular you would like my help with?”
Avila almost felt like weeping in relief. Etta had the same no-nonsense attitude as her sister, and it felt so familiar. It was nice to have a little bit of something familiar with so many things different. “Thank you, Etta. I was trying to start in here with my personal things, so if you could start with the things in front of the bookshelf, this shouldn’t take us long.”
After that, they both got to work, and true enough, it didn’t take long at all to get Avila’s few possessions unpacked and put into their places. Every so often, Etta asked where Avila wanted something to go, but other than that, they both worked in silence until the job was done.
Once they were done, Avila dismissed Etta with her thanks. She was surprised to find that it was still more than an hour until dinner. She did not feel like doing any exploring, and instead decided to get a little sleep, which should help with the sheer mental exhaustion.
She lay down and set the timeglass to wake her in forty-five minutes. That should give her enough time to freshen up before dinner. She fell asleep almost instantly.
It hadn’t felt like she had slept at all when she felt a hand brushing her hair off her face. Groggily, she looked up and was surprised to see Galdren looking down at her. His face was so tender it made her heart ache. She blinked once, and the look passed. It made her wonder if she had still been half asleep a moment ago.
Avila sat up and looked at the timeglass before she turned back to him. “I had an alarm set, so I guess it’s all right that you woke me a few minutes early.”
He glanced over at her timeglass and turned it off before it could trill its alarm. “My apologies. I did not mean to wake you, but I did want to check on you. I knew you had a long day, and there was no response to my knock. I didn’t think about the fact that you might be asleep. If you want to freshen up a little bit, you can meet me in the adjoining room.”
With a nod, he left her to get ready for dinner. Unfortunately, Avila was still groggy. The nap had done her more harm than good, and she felt more tired now than she had before she had lain down. She hoped dinner would be short; she felt like she needed sleep more than food.
She went into the bathing room and splashed a little cold water on her face, which helped some. After she cleaned up and felt more awake, she decided she was ready to face Galdren across a dinner table.
When she went into the adjoining room, she was surprised to see that it was smaller than her sitting room. It was as long, but narrower. It did have a large window at one end that was dark now, although she was sure it would have another spectacular view of the gardens. The third of the room nearest the window was taken up with a dinner table and a sideboard along one wall. The rest of the room was mostly empty except for a few scattered chairs.
Dinner was already laid out, and Galdren was sitting at the head of the table waiting for her. Instead of sitting at the other end of the table, she took the seat to his left. She hadn’t noticed Etta standing next to the sideboard when she first came into the room, but as soon as she sat down, the woman started plating the first serving. It looked like it would be a much more formal meal than any she had had before. She only hoped she could make it through.
Galdren seemed to sense her apprehension about the meal. “Avila, this is only a three-course meal, so it will be relatively short. You said yourself that you needed to get used to life here. I thought tonight would be as good a time as any to start. As of next week, we will have our meals with the rest of the household.”
Avila reeled a little at that news but tried not to let it drag her down. She was already too close to the edge as it was. After her waterworks earlier, the last thing she needed was another breakdown in front of Galdren. He had probably seen enough of that from her over the last week to last him a lifetime. Not that she didn’t have a cause, but she was getting tired of it herself, so she could only imagine how he felt.
She finally looked up at Galdren and realized he had been watching her while she was in her own inner world again. His face was concerned. There was no telling what her face had shown him, and she couldn’t muster the willpower to care overmuch. She did want to let him know she was all right, though.
“Galdren, that news is a little bit shocking to me, and after everything else, it is something I will have to let sink in, but not tonight. I am just too tired. I don’t want you to worry about me, please. It has just been a long day, as I am sure you can understand.” She could tell her speech did not do much to ease his worry.
She suppressed a sigh and looked down at her plate. The food looked good, at least. She picked up her fork in an attempt to try to eat something even though she really wasn’t hungry.
“Avila, I will be here to help you and guide you as I can through this. I don’t want you to worry about what is going to happen to you.”
She looked up at him and smiled before looking back down. He was so serious, and she knew he wanted her to feel safe, but she just wanted to go back to bed. “I know I can trust you, always.” She wasn’t sure what made her say that, but it felt right, and at the moment, she just didn’t care. She had never been drunk before, but she had been a little tipsy. This almost felt like that.
Shattered Dreams Page 17
