by Brie Paisley
“That definitely sounds like her,” I cut in, sensing he needs a break. One thing I’ve noticed the most about him, these past few days, is too much emotion at once can make him shut down. It’s like he doesn’t want to feel it all at once, but little bits here and there are better.
“I’ll admit, she sort of scared me,” he claims with a grin. Letting out a snort, we laugh loudly together at his joke. After a few moments, he moves his hand off mine, and then cups my cheek. “She was right about a lot, and I’m sorry I put you through so much shit. I worried you wouldn’t accept me, once you knew the truth, or that you would think differently of me.”
“Sebastian,” I start, but he shakes his head, and I know he has more he wants to say.
“I know it sounds ridiculous, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you thinking I’m weak. I loved the way you would look at me with lust and desire, and when I command you, I see the fire in your eyes. I didn’t want to risk losing any of that, or you for that matter. I told myself it was easier to lie and push you away, versus telling you the truth, falling for you, and then losing you anyway.”
“It doesn’t sound ridiculous. You did what you thought would protect you, and I can’t fault you for that.” Sighing deeply, I add, “I do wish you would’ve told me sooner, because I could’ve reminded you that no matter what, I’m always going to love you. If anything, I admire you more now, because you chose to finally open up, and you’re trying to move forward with your life. It takes a very strong person to be able to do that.”
For a moment, our gazes hold, and my heart races, wondering what he’s thinking about. Sebastian has always been a man of few words, and I’ve come to realize he does much better with actions.
So, when he leans in close, and then takes my mouth, I know he’s thanking me. I know this is his way of telling me how much it means to him that I’m still here.
As his tongue slides inside my mouth, I let out a soft moan, as my hand finds his neck. Pulling him closer, I open my legs to make room for him. He hovers over me, and not once, does he break away from kissing me. When he finally does, I’m gasping for air, staring into the green eyes of the man I love more than anything. As one hand holds up his weight, the other caresses my cheek.
“Say you’re mine,” he demands with a hard tone.
A flood of sensations race through me, hearing the command, and I don’t hesitate for a second to answer him. “I’m yours.”
Feeling his hard cock against my pussy, I arch my back, seeking him. “Say it again.”
“I’m yours, Sebastian.”
As soon as the words leave my lips, he enters me slowly, filling me and making me feel every inch of him. Holding his gaze, he doesn’t just fuck me. Instead, his pace is slow, as his thrusts are gentle but deep at the same time.
He’s making love to me.
Sebastian takes his time loving me, making me fall deeper in love with him, and I don’t mind at all. If anything, it just confirms that he’s the one for me, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let him go.
One week later
Sitting on the counter in Sebastian’s kitchen, I grin widely, seeing him enter the room. He smirks, as he spots me, and I use my finger to beckon him closer. I can’t remember the last time I felt so happy and excited all the time, and I owe it all to him.
“Nice shirt,” he claims, and I let out a laugh.
“I think from now on, I should always wear your shirts, since I look better in them.”
His hand runs up my bare leg, as the other cups my cheek, pulling me to his addictive mouth. Wrapping my arms around his neck, my legs do the same around his waist, keeping him as close as possible. As he devours my mouth, I get lost in his taste and his control over my entire body. It’s so easy to lose myself in him, and once he starts kissing me the way he is now, it’s hard to stop. It’s hard not to crave and need more from him.
When he pulls away, I’m left panting, and my pussy clenches, wanting him to fuck me right here on the counter. As if he knows exactly what I’m thinking, he licks his lips, and then says, “I’m going to be late.”
“Viktor can wait,” I claim in a husky voice.
His eyebrow raises, before saying, “He can, but I have a better idea.”
“And what might this idea be?”
My breath picks up, as he leans in close, hovering inches away from my mouth, as he claims, “I want you naked, waiting in my bed, and soaking wet, when I return.” Using his hand, he ever so slightly brushes against my panties, tempting and teasing me at the same time. “I want you so needy for my cock, that when you see me, you’ll start begging to come, before I even touch you.”
“Fuck, Sebastian.”
“You’re not to touch yourself. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” I answer in a breathy tone.
He touches my pussy once again, as he says, “I won’t be long, so don’t think about breaking the rules.”
He steps back, and I have to suck in a deep breath to keep myself from begging him to fuck me now. As much as I want him now, I know if I wait, it’ll be so much better. Placing my hands in my lap, I fight the urge to reach for him again. I know he has an important meeting with Viktor about the new club they’re opening, but that still doesn’t make my craving ease at all.
Getting a handle over myself, I state, “I need to go back to my apartment today.” When he frowns, I feel the need to explain myself. “I’ve been here every day this week, and I need to grab a few things. Plus, I need to make sure everything is fine back at my place.” I don’t mind staying with him, but I don’t want him to think I’m purposely staying. The last thing I want is to push him into something he’s not ready for just yet.
As he nods, he glances down for a moment, seeming to consider something. “I’ll be back just as you want,” I add. I wouldn’t dare miss out on a night with him, especially knowing what will happen.
His gaze meets mine, and then he states, “Move in with me.” The command is so random that I think I misunderstood him at first, but then, he adds, “I want you to move in with me.”
I open my mouth to respond, but the words fail to come out. I’m guessing he takes it as my rejection, as he claims, “Forget it. You’re not ready.”
Hearing the sad tone in his voice, it pushes me to jump off the counter. “No, that’s not it,” I voice, taking his hand. “It’s just unexpected. I didn’t know you were ready for that. Are you sure you’re ready for this? I mean, it’s kind of a big deal.”
With his free hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, as he says, “I know, and I want you here with me. I like waking up next to you, and also having you here beside me at night. I know it’s sudden, but I want you here, Trixie.”
“So, you’ve thought about this?”
He smirks, as he claims, “Yes. I’ve thought about this a lot, since you took me back.”
“And this isn’t a spur of the moment thing?”
He uses both of his hands to cup my cheeks, as he declares, “I love you, Trixie. So yes, I want you here in my home at all times. Now, say yes.”
Letting out a laugh, it’s so like him to demand I answer him. The thing is, my answer will be yes, no matter what. I just want to make sure he’s ready for this level of commitment. “Okay, fine. Yes, I’ll move in.”
“Good, girl,” he says, and then kisses me deeply, as if he’s rewarding me for my answer. “Now, I really have to go, or Viktor will be complaining the entire time, if I’m late.”
Watching him, as he quickly leaves the apartment, I stand in the kitchen for a few moments just smiling. Looking around, I smile even bigger, realizing this is now my new home.
Two months later
Sitting at the table in a local restaurant, I listen to Kendra and Ava talk about nipple cream. Kendra is curiously interested in the topic, and since Ava is breast feeding Alexei, she knows all about it. I’m pretending to pay attention, but the truth is, I’ve been trying not to puke for the past five mi
nutes.
Since the moment my food arrived, I’ve fought against wave after wave of nausea. It seems to be never ending, and I’m trying to figure out how to run to the bathroom, without alerting my friends.
So, as I clench my jaw, Ava adamantly continues to explain how raw her nipples are, and how she can’t get Viktor to stop sucking on them either. Honestly, any other time, I would be laughing right along with Kendra, and have a joke or two about it, but right now, I just can’t.
Just as I’m about to give up and run towards the bathroom, the sensation finally passes. It’s also that very moment, Kendra asks, “Are you alright, Trix? You’re looking kind of pale.”
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I take a drink of my water, and then I say, “I’m fine. Just not feeling very well.”
“Was it the appetizer?” Ava asks. “I thought the dip tasted a bit funny.”
“It did, didn’t it?” Kendra adds.
Shaking my head, I claim, “No, it was fine. I’ve been feeling a bit off lately, but I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“What else have you been feeling?” Ava asks.
At first, her question is confusing, since it’s sort of random to ask, but I indulge her anyway. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling really nauseous, and my boobs feel bigger. I’ve also been extremely tired lately, which is strange. It’s probably just my period coming.” Come to think of it, when was the last time I had a period? Honestly, I can’t remember, since I’ve been so busy at the club.
Ava’s eyes widen, as Kendra goes deathly quiet, making me wonder what the hell is wrong with them. “What?” I ask both of them.
Kendra suddenly has something important going on with her napkin, as Ava asks, “Could you be pregnant?”
I scoff, because the question is so ludicrous. “What? No, I’m on the pill.”
“Hate to break it to you, but I was on the shot, when I got pregnant with Nikolai.”
The thought that I could be pregnant is so crazy that I instantly reject the idea. Shaking my head, I claim, “No. It’s not possible. I mean, I take my pill every day, and I just can’t be.”
“Weren’t you sick a few months back?” Kendra asks, as if that’s supposed to make sense.
“Yeah, I had the flu.”
“And strep,” she quickly adds. “And you were taking antibiotics for it.”
Giving her a blank look, I ask, “So, what’s your point?”
Ava lays a hand on mine, as she softly claims, “You do realize antibiotics counter act with the pill. The doctor should’ve told you that.”
I frown, as I remember getting the prescription, but I don’t recall that little tidbit of information. Still in denial, I say, “No, that’s not what’s happening. I … no …” Glancing to Kendra, and then to Ava, they both have the same look. They’re both already convinced I’m knocked up, and I just can’t believe it. “No, it’s not happening,” I say out loud more for myself than them.
Jumping up, they stare up at me, like I’ve suddenly grown two heads. “I’m going to the drug store to buy a test, and when it comes back negative, you both owe me a drink.”
They don’t utter a word, as we pay for our uneaten food, and then we walk down a few blocks to a drug store. I don’t know why they’re so stuck on this pregnancy thing, but I’m determined to prove them wrong.
Turns out, they weren’t wrong.
Trust me, I peed on multiple tests just to be sure, but every single one, showed the same results.
I’m pregnant.
The idea that I could’ve been was so shocking, but now, it’s not just an idea anymore. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about it, mostly because this is so unplanned. Am I ready to be a mom? Not only that, but what will Sebastian say?
What will he think?
As I walk down the hall towards our apartment, my stomach turns, and it has nothing to do with a baby. It’s fear. It’s uncertainty. What if he thinks I got pregnant on purpose? The last thing I want, is for him to think I’m trying to trap him, or even do anything close to what Misty did. She lied to Viktor about her baby, claiming it was Sebastian’s, and I do not want him to even consider I would do anything like that.
But no matter how many times I remind myself he’s changed and is beginning to trust me, I worry it’s not enough. It’s too soon for a … baby. God, just thinking of that word makes my stomach dip with unease. I don’t know the first thing about being a parent, and I’m utterly terrified. Sure, I’ve thought about having kids more in the past few months than I ever have before, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for it.
Stopping in front of the door, I look down and touch my stomach. What if he doesn’t want the baby? The more I look down at my stomach, the more a feeling of calmness washes through me. I can’t explain it, but suddenly, I know what I need to do. Even if I’m scared of what Sebastian will say, I know what I want. Swallowing hard, I push out a breath, and decide that the only way I’m going to know for sure if he’s on board, is to just tell him.
Either way, I’m keeping the baby.
Opening the door, I walk inside, and instantly spot him in the kitchen. His back is to me, and I already know he’s preparing dinner. Every night, he cooks a very nice supper, and every night, I’m blown away at his culinary skills.
As I shut the door and set my purse down, he turns, showing off that dazzling smile reserved for just me. It’s the one that I love to see, and I tell him all the time to show it off more. “Welcome home,” he says, and that’s when I notice the raw meat on the cutting board.
“How was your girl’s day?” He asks, but all I can focus on is that meat. The sudden urge to vomit is present, and I try my best to hold it back. “Trixie? Are you okay?”
Losing the battle against the nausea, I cover my mouth with my hand, and then race towards the bathroom. Thankfully, I make it just in time to empty the contents of my stomach. As I hover over the toilet, I feel a hand on my back, comforting me.
After a few more moments, I think the urge is gone. Quickly flushing, I sit back, trying to get a handle over myself. “What’s wrong, Trixie?”
Gazing up, I have an insane impulse to cry, which is stupid, because I have no reason to feel this way. Shaking my head, I ask, “Would you mind giving me a minute?”
With his nod, he helps me off the floor, and then leaves me alone in the bathroom. Walking over to the sink, I brush my teeth, and then finish off with mouthwash. Once my mouth feels better, I look at myself in the mirror, wondering how Sebastian is going to react. Will he be happy about this? I never thought I would be put in the position, and it’s one I wish I didn’t have to worry about. Unfortunately, I am, and it’s time to stop putting it off.
Pushing back my shoulders, I walk out of the bathroom, heading back towards the kitchen, searching for him. He’s waiting with a worried look by the dining room table, and as soon as he sees me, I feel the need to cry again, especially as he rushes towards me, making sure I’m okay.
“Do I need to take you to the emergency room?”
I smile, unable to stop myself, because this so like him. “I’m okay now,” I assure him, but he still doesn’t look convinced.
“Let me just turn off the oven, and then we can go,” he claims, and then turns to walk over to the stove.
“Sebastian, I’m not sick.”
“Something is wrong,” he says, shaking his head. “You’ve been so exhausted lately, and now, you’re throwing up. I don’t know if you have the flu again, but I’m not going to sit by, when I can do something to help.”
My smile grows bigger by the minute, because he’s genuinely worried about me. As he finishes putting away dinner, he stops, and then frowns, as he looks at me. “I’m not sick,” I say once more.
“Then what’s going on?”
Pushing out a deep breath, I softly say, “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes instantly widen, and his entire body stills. I don’t utter a single word, as I wait for him to say something, but th
e longer he doesn’t move, the more I worry. After a few moments, he drops his head, as he says, “I need to sit down.”
Okay, this isn’t as bad as I thought it might be, but I’m still afraid he’s going to think the worst. Watching him flop down in the chair, I pull out one for myself, setting it right by him. Taking his hand, I swallow down the sudden lump in my throat, and then ask, “Do you remember when I got sick with strep?” With his subtle nod, I add, “Well, it turns out that the medications the doctor gave me, counter acted with my birth control.”
His gaze finds mine, as he claims, “That should’ve been important information shared.”
I let out a small laugh, because his tone of voice is so sarcastic and flat at the same time. It’s his dry humor coming out, and it feels good to laugh. I’d much rather laugh than cry right now, so I’ll take it. “That’s what I said, too.” Holding his gaze, I add, “If I had known, then I would’ve made you use protection.”
I suck in a deep breath, as he leans forward, and then cups my cheek. Gazing into my eyes, he firmly states, “I know.” It’s those two words that send relief, rushing throughout my entire body. With those words, he’s telling me all I need to know.
He knows I didn’t and wouldn’t do anything like this just to hurt him or trap him.
Using his thumb, he rubs it across my cheek, as he asks, “Do you want to have a family with me?” The question surprises me so much so, that I can’t seem to find the words to answer him. “I mean, it’s ultimately up to you with what you want to do, but …” He stops for a moment, gazes down, and then smiles so big, when he claims, “I would love to have a family with you.”
Tears fill my eyes, as I ask, “Really?”
“Yes, really, Trixie. I want it all with you.”
Happiness and joy flow through me, as his words finally set in. Jumping up, I wrap both of my arms around him, holding on tight, as I realize what this means. As he embraces me back, his head drops to my neck, and I can’t help but grin widely.
