by Lexy Timms
Ellis reached for Bree’s hand and gave it a squeeze. I watched Bree closely. I felt like I knew her better than I knew myself some days. She relaxed a little. I stepped next to her and gently pulled her down to the couch. Ellis sat in the chair across from us.
“Thank you for giving me the chance to talk to you a little more about this surgery. I know it sounds terrifying and I suppose if it were my eyes and my face, I would be a little afraid as well.”
Bree nodded. “Just a little. Why do you think you can do this surgery and no one else can?”
“I know I can because I’ve done it before. I’ve watched it done. I’ve done it a hundred times in the simulator. It will become standard procedure one day, but it has to start somewhere. We have the technology, in fact, we’ve had it for some time. It’s just about tweaking a few things to make the procedure work for situations like yours.”
Bree was chewing on her lip. I could see her nervousness. “How many times has it not worked?”
Ellis looked at me. I nodded, telling her to be honest. Bree needed all the facts. “I don’t have the exact percentage, but I would think it’s about twenty percent.”
I winced. That was a pretty high number. “What does that mean?” I asked. “The patients didn’t get their sight back or what?”
“In a few cases, their sight improved slightly, but they did not regain twenty-twenty vision. In some situations, only one eye regained sight.”
Bree seemed to be taking it all in stride. “And what about complications?”
I resisted the urge to take Bree’s hand in mine. I knew this was the biggest concern. She had good reason to be worried. Ellis looked at me, her eyes going wide. I nodded, encouraging her to answer the question.
“There are potential complications, most are mild. There is a chance there could be retina separation, but that can generally be fixed with another surgery. There can be allergic reactions to the saline.”
“Death?” Bree whispered. “Is death a complication?”
“Bree, death is extremely rare and it wouldn’t be caused by this procedure.”
“But it can happen?”
“It’s never happened on my watch,” Ellis told her. “Any time anesthesia in involved, there are risks. But since you’ve successfully had anesthesia, I wouldn’t be worried about a problem of that nature.” “I understand that this is a terrifying thing to go through. And you have been through a lot. I’ve read your file, but I would like to know you, the person. I’m not trying to push you into this because I’m a doctor, but because I can see the life in you. Luke has given me some background about you and I can see a smart young, beautiful vibrant woman in there, fighting to get out. Your blindness has imprisoned you and it doesn’t have to.”
Bree slowly nodded. “If I get the surgery, you mean?”
“No! Even if you choose not to get the surgery, you do not have to live in that prison. I worked at the Institute for the Blind, shadowing some of the best doctors in the world. It wasn’t all about bringing the blind into the seeing world, but helping the blind adapt to life in their world. The key is live. Not feel like they were stuck or that their lives were over. Some of the people in there didn’t have the option for a surgery. Some had been through numerous surgeries with no more hopes of regaining sight.”
Bree took a deep breath. “You’re saying I need to appreciate the fact I have a chance. A slim chance, but a chance and others would kill to have that chance.”
Ellis softly laughed. “I like that you are a straight shooter, so I’ll be straight with you. In a nutshell, yes. This is a real chance for you. A chance that everybody doesn’t get.”
Bree seemed to respond to that. “I appreciate the honesty. I can’t give you an answer right this minute but you have given me a lot to think about.”
We talked for another ten minutes before I walked Ellis to the door. “Thank you for coming by.”
“You’re welcome. I like her. She’s a fighter. She’s going to have to be a fighter to get through this no matter what she chooses to do. You’ll be here for her?”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Let her know that this isn’t a fix, this is just an opportunity to see again. She isn’t broken. You need to make sure she understands that.”
“I know. I will. I’m trying.”
Ellis put a hand on my arm. “Good. I have no doubt that she’s in good hands.”
I went back to the living room to find Bree leaning back against the couch. “Is she gone?” Bree asked.
“She is.”
“She’s nice.”
I took the seat Ellis had been in. “She is nice. Do you feel any different about the surgery?”
She blew out a breath. “I don’t know.”
“The risks seem pretty minimal compared to the potential reward,” I told her.
“I suppose.”
She was shutting down. I didn’t understand what was happening. She’d been engaged with Ellis. She had sounded interested. She sounded like she really wanted to do the surgery. “What’s going on here?” I asked her.
“Nothing.”
“Bree, don’t do that. Don’t shut down on me. What’s going through your mind?”
She put her hands over her face. “Do you want me to get the surgery because that will make me more attractive? Make me worthy of being with you?”
My jaw dropped. “What? What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t have the right to unburden my soul on you. You’re my caregiver. Nothing more.”
“Bree that is not true. Not true at all. I am here for you.”
“You’re here, but you’re here as my caregiver, not my boyfriend.”
I regretted giving into the desire. I should have kept my hands to myself. She didn’t need any extra stress. “I may not be your official boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I still feel the same way. None of that has changed.”
“Would me being able to see make it easier on you? Like for us to be together?”
I got up and moved to sit beside her. “No. The only thing that would be easier on me is for you to be in a good place. I don’t care if you can see that place or not. I want you in a good place up here.” I tapped on the side of her head. “Good headspace.”
“I’m not a basket case,” she retorted.
I so wanted to kiss her. I was dying to kiss her. “I’m not saying you’re crazy.”
“Oh, Luke, I want to do the surgery, I really do, but I am having a hard time believing it’s as easy as she says it is. I don’t understand why no one else can do it. She swoops in with her little bat-cape to save the day. I just don’t know what to think.”
“She doesn’t wear a cape, but this is a chance. This is a chance for you to get your sight and do all those things you told me you missed doing. If you truly don’t want to do it, then I’m okay with that. I will talk to your father about replacing me and you and I can see where things go.”
“You guys have given me a lot to think about.”
I laughed. “Good. That was the goal. You need all the information. You need to be able to weigh the pros and cons and come up with your decision. Please, feel free to talk to me about anything. Sometimes it helps just to say what’s on your mind. You can tell me anything. We were friends before anything else, right? Can we still be friends while we navigate this thing?”
“I would like to be your friend,” she said with a smile. “I’ll make up my mind. I promise. I’m close, but can I just have another day or two to think on it. Besides, I’m sure I have to be healthy before I can get surgery anyway. I still have this cold lingering.”
I frowned, so glad she couldn’t see me at that moment. She didn’t sound like she had a cold. I hoped she wasn’t planning to use that as an excuse. “I’m not sure a cold will keep you from eye surgery, but we will absolutely talk to Ellis about it if you choose to go that way. You don’t have to do it right away. If
this cold kicks into gear, then we wait until you’re over it.”
“Hopefully, it doesn’t go to pneumonia.”
I burst into laughter, assuming she was joking. The look on her face said she was serious. “You’re going to be fine. Trust me. You’ve got me as your nurse and I won’t let you get pneumonia.”
“Did they pass out capes in that med school of yours? You and Ellis both have some serious god-complexes.”
I knew she was joking then and I touched her leg. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let you get deathly ill on my watch. I’m too good at my job for that to happen.”
She groaned. “Humble, too.”
Chapter Five
Bree
LUKE WAS PACING. I could hear him pacing and it was making me crazy. I was afraid to move from my position on the couch. I didn’t want him plowing me down. I used the tissue I had been clutching in my hand to wipe at my nose. The cold seemed to have a mind of its own, coming and going. Luke had been taking great care of me the last couple of days, but if I had to eat another bowl of chicken soup, I was going to scream.
“Luke, you are stressing me out,” I told him.
He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just weird. I don’t know why she’s coming here.”
“Because this is where you live maybe.”
“You know what I mean.”
So, she wants to see you, what’s weird about that. If I had a brother, I’d want to see him.”
“My sister and I aren’t exactly close. I haven’t even seen her in a couple years. It’s weird. I don’t know what to say to her.”
“What’s her name?”
“Lisa.”
I slowly nodded. “And she lives in London?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. How did she end up over there?”
He shook his head. “It’s a long story. Basically, she ran away from home. Except in her case, she met some dude that was in Texas for some business thing. They fell in love and got married, and she moved back to London with him. It was her ticket out of Texas and she never looked back.”
“Did you guys stay in touch?”
“Not really.”
I sensed there was more to the story, but I didn’t get a chance to ask. The doorbell rang, announcing her arrival. I didn’t even know he had a sister until he had come into the dining room this morning stressed out about his sister coming to visit.
I didn’t hear him leave the room. “Luke?” I called out.
“I’m here.”
“Are you going to answer the door?”
“Do I have to?”
“Luke!”
“I’m going, I’m going,” he mumbled, before leaving the room.
I strained my ears to hear what was being said. There were soft murmurs but no exuberant greetings. I wished I could see her. I was intrigued. I wanted to know more about Luke, including where he came from.
“Bree,” Luke’s voice announced his return to the room.
I got to my feet and turned to where I hoped they were standing. “Hello,” I said, feeling completely ridiculous.
“Hi,” a soft female voice filtered around the room.
“Lisa, this is Bree. Bree, this is my sister Lisa.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said with a smile. “Have a seat, please.”
I moved my foot back, finding the couch and taking a seat. I could feel a weird tension in the room. “You’ve done well for yourself, little brother,” Lisa said.
“I live in a cottage on the grounds,” he said in a tight voice. “This isn’t mine. I work here.”
“Oh, that’s right, you’re a caregiver. I guess you haven’t changed much. You’re still doing what you do.”
The tension amped up. I had no idea what the hell was going on, but I imagined there were some pretty angry stares bouncing around the room. “Can I get you something to drink?” I asked trying to break the tension.
“You don’t need to do that,” Luke said.
“I can. I want to.”
“Why don’t we all go?” Lisa said.
“Great idea!” I said, infusing my fake cheer and falling into old habits of playing hostess. I got up and waited to move. I knew Luke was on my left but I wasn’t sure where Lisa was. I felt Luke’s familiar touch on my elbow as he led the way.
“Wow,” Lisa said. “This is nice.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “Why don’t we go out back and I’ll show you around.” I realized what I said and burst into laughter. “You know what I mean.”
Lisa laughed as well. “Yes, I did understand.”
We went outside, just the two of us. “Your brother has been a huge help.”
“I’m sure he has. He’s an excellent nurse, caregiver, or whatever he’s calling himself these days.”
Her comment sounded like a dig. Subtle, but still a dig. “He’s a good guy.”
“So, can I ask about your situation?” she asked.
“Are you referring to my blindness?” I asked, not used to such bluntness.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m blunt. British and Texan, if you get me. I find it’s a lot easier to just get right to the heart of a matter instead of beating around the bush.”
Her and Luke couldn’t be more different. I was a little irritated by her rudeness, but she was Luke’s sister. Older sister at that. She was looking out for him. At least that’s what I hoped she was doing. “I was in a car accident. I bonked my head and now I’m blind.”
Her laugh was a little boisterous. “You bonked your head. Alright. I get it.”
I knew where the table was and moved to take a seat. She sat down at the table with me. “Your brother wants me to have surgery to fix the blindness.”
“Is that an option?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I’m still uncertain. Every other doctor has told me no. Then some woman from out of the blue shows up and says she can wave her magic scalpel and help me see again.”
“It’s not magic,” Luke’s voice came from behind me. “It’s Ellis Tanner.”
“What?” Lisa gasped. “Ellie lives here?”
“For the time being. She travels a lot. She’s got some new surgery that could work to give Bree her sight back.”
“That sounds awesome. Ellie is a genius. If I was sick or dying, she is the woman I would want working on me.”
“You know her, too?” I asked.
“Yep,” Lisa answered with a slight wang. “We all grew up in the same area. Ellie and Luke were really close. It was Ellie that got him turned on to medicine in the first place.”
“That’s not entirely true,” Luke countered.
My suspicions had been confirmed. They were close. I knew I had sensed something between them. “Really?” I asked, trying to sound normal.
“We were friends,” Luke said, sounding very uncomfortable.
“Let’s go back to the blindness thing,” Lisa said. “Your blindness is temporary?”
“Lisa, leave it alone,” Luke warned.
“It’s fine,” I said, knowing one of us needed to have manners. “My blindness is not temporary according to all the other doctors. Ellis is the only one that says otherwise.”
“I would listen to Ellis.”
I offered a tight smile. “I am considering her proposed surgery. There are some risks and I need to decide whether I’m willing to take those risks.”
“Don’t you want to see?” she shot back.
I wanted to like his sister, I really did, but she was not making it easy. I took a deep breath. But, before I could answer, Luke intervened. “Come on, Lisa, I’ll show you the cottage. The Sullivan’s have been kind enough to allow you to stay with me for a couple days.”
“I am a little jet lagged,” Lisa said. “It was nice to meet you, Bree. I know you don’t know me from Adam, but seriously, consider what Ellie’s offering. Back in Texas, we used to say she had magic hands.”
“How would you know?” Luke snapped. “You haven’t e
ven been there in forever.”
“Relax little brother, your bitterness is showing.”
“I’ll be back in a bit,” Luke said, touching my shoulder.
“I’ll be in the living room,” I answered.
“You can find your way around that massive house without being able to see?” Lisa asked.
I smiled in her direction. “Yes,” I answered, before getting up and walking away.
His sister was a little much. I wasn’t sure what I felt about her. She seemed nice, but a little on the abrasive side. Normally, I would like that in a person. I could be blunt and Mel was definitely blunt. It was different when I couldn’t see the expression on the face of the person, especially since I didn’t know her. It was a lot like reading a text message, not entirely sure what the tone of the sender was.
I wondered what the story was with them. There was a lot of tension and he had never even mentioned a sister. He didn’t sound all that thrilled to be having her stay with him, either. I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew about us, about our very brief relationship. She was certainly very fond of Ellis, which only served to make me even more jealous.
Ellis was everything I was not. She was confident and strong and beautiful, I imagined. Of course, Luke would be attracted to her. She was a doctor. That was something special. I was me, the blind little rich girl. I wanted to be like Ellis. I wanted to go out and conquer the world, one patient at a time. I shook my head. I couldn’t even save myself, let alone the world.
I turned on some music to fill the empty space around me. I was becoming more used to being in the house alone, but there were still moments when I felt lost. The panic could rise in a flash if I wasn’t careful. I had to fill the void with something. Lately, it had been me going old school, back to my childhood faves, the Backstreet Boys.
Singing loud and out of key, like one tends to do when they are all alone with no one to critique or criticize, I let myself fade into the music, pushing away all thoughts of Ellis, surgery, and Luke with the doctor. One great thing about being blind was that the sound of music was so much more intense, I could truly get lost in it. Without being able to hear anything except for the music, and see nothing, it was all I had.
