‘That’s David Barnes, the best man; and Karen Nicholls the bridesmaid. I’ll leave it to you to work out which is which.’
‘Who’s the new vicar?’ I said.
‘The Reverend Stewart, from Limply Stoke,’ said Robert.
‘That’s never the name of a real town!’ said Penny.
‘It’s traditional,’ said Robert. ‘And probably meant something quite innocent at the time.’
‘Like what?’ challenged Penny.
‘Don’t press me,’ said Robert. ‘The origins of a lot of town names are lost in history, and legend. And there’s no denying people could have an odd sense of humour, back in the day.’
I let the two of them get on with it, while I concentrated my hearing on what the happy couple were saying to the vicar. It seemed Gillian was being very particular about changes she wanted made to the wedding vows; very definitely including no mention of honour and obey. There seemed no end to the alterations she wanted, which made me wonder why she didn’t just write her own vows and be done with it. The vicar kept saying, ‘But it’s traditional …’ and getting nowhere. Every now and again he would look hopefully at Tom, but there was no help to be found in that quarter.
‘I’ve spent years planning how my wedding should go,’ Gillian said remorselessly. ‘Right down to the tiniest detail. This is going to be the happiest day of my life and if it isn’t someone is going to suffer for it.’
‘Trust me,’ Tom said easily to the vicar. ‘She means it. She’d made up her mind what she wanted on her wedding day long before she met me.’
‘It’s my wedding,’ said Gillian.
Tom looked like he wanted to say, Actually, it’s our wedding … but he had enough sense not to. There’s a time and a place for being right. He settled for giving the vicar a commiserating look, as if to say, Don’t waste your breath.
The best man and the bridesmaid finally noticed us, and come down the hall to make themselves known. There was a brief outbreak of smiles and hand-shaking as we all introduced ourselves. Gillian and Tom didn’t even look round. David wore his morning suit as though it was just something he’d thrown on that morning.
‘It’s a splendid outfit, isn’t it?’ he said cheerfully. ‘I suppose it appeals to my theatrical nature. If you’re going to make a first impression, go big, that’s what I always say.’
Just standing there he positively burned with charisma, as though he was the star and we were all just bit players.
‘Tom and I have been knocking around together for years,’ he said cheerfully.
‘Where did you and Tom first meet?’ said Penny. Because women always want to know things like that.
‘At drama school,’ David said easily. ‘Best mates from the start. We found out we worked well together, and we’ve hardly been apart since. Appearing in the same shows, on stage and on television. Usually as hero and villain, though we often have to flip a coin as to who’s going to read for which. I mostly prefer the villain; because they get all the best lines.’
‘And Tom?’ said Penny.
‘Oh, he adores playing the hero,’ said David. ‘More action, and he always gets the girl. And he does so love to be loved by the audience. Sorry, I’m being waspish, aren’t I? And on his wedding day, of all days. That’s what years in the theatre does to you. Still, we’re often requested as a package by agents and producers. Like Cushing and Lee, in the old Hammer horror movies.’
‘I don’t like horror movies,’ said Karen Nicholls, seizing a chance to get a word in when David paused for breath. ‘I don’t know why people want to be frightened; isn’t the world a scary enough place as it is?’
Karen was short, well-padded, in her late twenties, and clearly only wearing her fluffy pink outfit under protest. She had dark curly hair, emphatic make-up, and frightened eyes. She kept trying to smile but it never lasted long; as though dark thoughts kept interrupting it. She looked down at her dress, and shrugged resignedly.
‘I know … It’s really not me. But what Gillian wants, Gillian gets. I should know; we’ve been best friends for ages. Ever since we both started out as political researchers. Which is all I ever wanted; Gillian is the ambitious one.’
‘What does she want to be?’ said Penny. ‘Eventually?’
‘Prime Minister, probably,’ said Karen, managing a genuine smile for the first time. ‘Or possibly Queen.’ And then the smile disappeared as she fixed me with a worried look. Like someone wondering whether the light at the end of the tunnel might turn out to be an oncoming train. ‘Gillian said you’re here to protect us. I’m glad someone is, but … what do you think, about the Bergin curse? Gillian never said a word about it until I got here. And then the vicar died … That poor man.’
‘Gillian never mentioned the curse before, even though she’s been talking about the marriage for years?’ I said.
‘Not a single word,’ said Karen. ‘And now I know why. It’s such a creepy story. After what happened to the Reverend Allen I expected the wedding to be called off, but I should have known better. Even though it’s not respectful. Not right … I mean, the murderer’s still out there somewhere! He could come after any of us! I didn’t dare leave my hotel room until it was light. I don’t feel safe, even now.’
‘You’re in a church hall, surrounded by people,’ said David. ‘You couldn’t be safer if you were wearing pink Kevlar. The vicar’s death was just an unfortunate coincidence, that’s all.’ He looked over to where Gillian and Tom were taking it in turns to browbeat the Reverend Stewart. David sighed heavily, and just a bit theatrically. ‘This is clearly going to take some time, so we might as well make ourselves comfortable. Gillian doesn’t look like she’s willing to settle for anything less than complete capitulation, and I wouldn’t be the one to bet against her.’
‘She gets it from her mother,’ said Robert, and we all turned to look at him for a moment.
‘There’s got to be some chairs around here somewhere,’ said David, looking up and down the empty room. ‘How can you have a church hall, and no chairs?’
‘How did the Reverend Allen react to all these changes in the ceremony?’ I said, before he could go wandering off.
‘He never turned up to discuss them,’ said David. ‘But he seemed … easy-going enough.’
He looked to Karen for confirmation, and she nodded quickly.
‘Oh yes. He was very nice. Very …’
‘Pleasant?’ said Penny.
Karen beamed at her. ‘Yes! That’s the word. I liked him …’ And then she remembered, and her smile disappeared like a blown-out candle. I thought she might shed a few tears, but in the end she remembered her mascara, and didn’t.
‘Look on the bright side,’ David said cheerfully. ‘At least we’re not the ones getting married, which means we’re not the main targets. If the killer should turn up at the wedding, like in the old story, we’ll just have to use the happy couple as human shields.’
We all managed some kind of smile. Karen actually giggled, and seemed to relax a little.
‘Gillian was going on about the kind of marriage she wanted even before she and Tom were officially engaged,’ she said. ‘She’s been obsessed with having the perfect day for as long as I can remember.’
‘Why does it mean so much to her?’ said Penny.
‘She’s never said, but …’ Karen glanced at Gillian to make sure she wasn’t listening, and then lowered her voice anyway. ‘I sometimes wonder if it’s because deep down, she never really believed it would happen. She’s such a … strong personality, she was always breaking up with boyfriends. Gillian’s not the easiest of people to get on with … I mean, if you’re a man. She and I have always got on fine. Probably because I’m not any competition for her. But I have to say … I’ve never seen her so happy with anyone as she is with Tom.’
‘And how does Tom feel, about all this perfectionism?’ I said.
‘He wants Gillian to have whatever she wants,’ said Karen. ‘Isn’t that just so romanti
c?’
‘He’s always been a pushover where women are concerned,’ David said amiably. ‘But then, he’s always taken direction well.’
‘Excuse me,’ said Robert, with the air of someone who’d been left out of the conversation for far too long. ‘I think I’ll go and check out the side room; make sure the wedding cake was delivered there, as promised. If it hasn’t been, or if it’s not everything Gillian asked for, there’s going to be trouble. Because there’s not much time left to put things right.’
I glanced at the big clock on the wall; 10.25. And the wedding was scheduled for 2.00 p.m. So all I had to do was keep everyone alive for a few more hours. If only I could be sure what I was protecting them from … While I was thinking about that, Robert disappeared through the only other door in the room, closing it firmly behind him. He knew it wasn’t wise to go off on his own, but this was his way of saying that he could still take care of business, and look after himself.
‘Now he’s gone,’ said David, ‘And I don’t have to worry about being on the receiving end of one of Mr Bergin’s famous disapproving looks, maybe we can finally have a proper conversation about the Bergin family curse. I just love all the gory details! I started looking into it after Tom told me about the legendary curse that came along with his bride. Did you know the original couple were actually hacked to pieces, right in front of the altar? And after the witch was hanged, they tore out her heart and burnt it separately!’
‘That’s horrible!’ said Karen.
‘I think that’s the point,’ said David.
‘I don’t believe the original couple were hacked apart,’ I said.
David bristled at being challenged on his favourite subject. ‘How can you be so sure about that? She had every reason! And a butcher’s knife!’
‘But all the accounts agree that the murders took place in front of the gathered family and friends,’ I said. ‘She’d only have had time to get in a few good blows, before she would have been overpowered and dragged away. The burning of the heart is more likely; that was a traditional method of dealing with witches. To make sure they wouldn’t rise from their grave to trouble the living.’
‘But it didn’t work,’ said Karen. Her mouth tightened into a flat line, and her voice was a small scared thing. ‘She might not have returned, but her demonic familiar did. The curse lives on.’
‘You don’t have anything to worry about,’ Penny said soothingly. ‘Robert brought Ishmael and me in specially to look out for everyone’s safety.’
‘You’re bodyguards?’ said David, looking at us with new interest.
‘Sometimes,’ I said.
Karen shook her head, refusing to be comforted. ‘I have a bad feeling about all of this. I did from the first moment I arrived here. This town just … feels wrong. Like it’s haunted by the past. Or possessed by it.’
‘The curse is just an old story,’ David said firmly. ‘Like Bluebeard, or Little Red Riding Hood. Cautionary tales to encourage safe and proper behaviour in the young. You might as well worry that the church is going to be blown down by the Big Bad Wolf.’
He laughed easily, and Karen managed a smile. I didn’t say anything; but I couldn’t help remembering the old stories of werewolves attacking the town. Karen looked David over approvingly.
‘You look like you could handle any trouble that might come our way. You do know the best man has certain duties and privileges, where the bridesmaid is concerned?’
‘Ah, sorry,’ said David. ‘I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. I bat for the other team.’
Karen shot him a disgusted look. ‘Actors!’
‘Not all of them,’ said Gillian.
She came striding down the room to join us, dragging Tom along by the hand. He seemed happy enough to be dragged. Their worries from the evening before had apparently been dismissed by the bright sunshine, and their rapidly approaching wedding. They came to a halt before us, and struck a pose so we could admire their outfits.
‘Doesn’t she look marvellous?’ Tom said proudly.
‘Amazing!’ David said cheerfully.
‘Just like the design you showed me, all those years ago,’ said Karen.
Penny did her best not to frown, but I could see the effort it took.
‘I thought it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding?’ she said politely.
‘Oh, I can’t be bothered with things like that,’ Gillian said immediately. ‘I’ve far too much work to do; and getting in and out of this dress is a real pain. Tom had to send out for a shoehorn. Besides, he absolutely refuses to let me out of his sight for a moment, until we’re safely married.’
Tom smiled and shrugged, looking pressured and proud at the same time.
The Reverend Stewart hurried past us, smiling nervously as he headed for the exit. Clearly hoping to make his escape before Gillian could think of something else to argue about. But in the end he paused anyway, because he felt he should say something. If only to make it clear he wasn’t running away.
‘I’m just popping up to the church, to make sure everything is ready for the service this afternoon,’ he said, doing his best to smile at all of us at once.
‘You aren’t bothered by the fact that your predecessor was murdered there?’ I said bluntly.
His back straightened immediately, his head came up, and he made a point of meeting my gaze steadily. The smile was gone.
‘I’m doing this especially for poor Franklin. He was a good man, who deserved a better end than being strung up in his own church as a sick joke. I will perform the ceremony in his honour; because that’s what he would have wanted me to do.’
He nodded sharply, and left the hall. Tom looked after him.
‘If he’d shown that much backbone during our discussions, we’d probably still be arguing.’
‘I think he only works up a sweat for things that matter,’ I said.
I glanced at Gillian to see how she would react to that, but she just shrugged. ‘I had him eating out of my hand by the end. Everything’s arranged, down to the last detail. Now, Tom and I have to be going. I just had a call to say the last of our guests have arrived at The Swan.’
‘Nettie has opened the bar specially, just for them,’ said Tom. ‘At special prices, no doubt.’
‘I think we need to go back and take quick look, to make sure they’re being treated properly,’ said Gillian.
‘Before you go,’ I said, ‘can I just ask, how did you persuade the Reverend Stewart to come and help out, at such short notice?’
‘We didn’t,’ said Gillian. ‘Dad took care of all that.’
‘And according to Robert, the Reverend Stewart volunteered,’ said Tom. ‘No argument at all. Said it was his duty, and the danger just made it a test of his faith. Though I think he’s starting to see Gillian as the real test of his faith.’
‘I think it’s very brave of him,’ Gillian said firmly. ‘Though he should be safe enough. The Reverend Allen was killed at night, when he was on his own; the Reverend Stewart will be marrying us in broad daylight, in front of the entire congregation.’
‘You really think that’s going to make a difference?’ said David.
‘There’s nothing in any of the stories about anyone being killed during the day,’ Gillian insisted, her voice rising.
‘There was nothing in the stories about a vicar being killed, until it happened,’ David said reasonably. ‘I know, I’ve read all the books.’
‘Even the really trashy ones,’ said Tom.
David grinned. ‘I liked those best.’
While they were all busy scoring points off each other, Penny moved in close beside me and lowered her voice. ‘Why are you so interested in the Reverend Stewart?’
‘Think about it,’ I said, just as quietly. ‘Who will be closest to the happy couple, with the best chance of getting to them? Maybe Allen was killed just so Stewart could replace him …’
‘You really don’t trust anyone, do you
?’ said Penny.
‘No,’ I said. ‘Apart from you, of course.’
‘Nice save,’ Penny said sweetly.
‘Hey!’ Gillian said suddenly. ‘Where’s Dad?’
I looked around quickly, but before any of us could say anything, the side door burst open and Robert appeared, pushing a wheeled trolley ahead of him. On which was balanced, somewhat precariously, a multi-tiered wedding cake with white icing, pink ruffles, and a soft gooey top with two figures to represent the bride and groom. They looked to me like they were standing knee deep in snow, but I didn’t say anything. The figures were wearing the exact same outfits as Gillian and Tom. Robert brought the trolley to a halt right in front of us, and we all gathered around the cake, making appropriate appreciative noises.
‘Gillian designed her own cake too,’ Tom said proudly.
‘I sent the baker advance photos of our outfits,’ said Gillian. ‘To make sure he’d get the figures exactly right.’
‘Is everything as it should be?’ said Robert. ‘Or do I need to make a phone call and really ruin the baker’s day?’
There was a tense pause as Gillian studied the cake intently, and we all relaxed a little when she nodded briskly.
‘He’s done a good job,’ she said.
‘Oh good,’ said Tom.
‘And if he hadn’t?’ said David.
‘Then I would have been very upset,’ said Gillian.
‘And no one wants that,’ Tom said smoothly.
‘Aren’t you in charge of anything about this wedding?’ said David.
‘This is Gillian’s day,’ said Tom. ‘And I don’t want a single thing to go wrong with any of it.’
‘Isn’t he wonderful?’ said Gillian.
They smiled fondly at each other, and for a moment it was as though there wasn’t anyone else in the room.
‘Has everyone had a good look at the cake?’ said Robert. ‘Fine. I’ll wheel it back into the side room, so it can be wheeled out for the reception.’
Till Sudden Death Do Us Part Page 12
