by HP Mallory
“You know,” Bill continued, “you could friend flash me?”
“Oh my God,” I retorted.
“That’s not against the rules,” he argued. “Gimme a little flash of your big ol’ titties or maybe even some …”
“Enough!” I interrupted him. When I heard Tallis chuckling, I swatted him right on the butt. “And you quit it! You’re just encouraging him!”
“Ah apologize, lass,” he said, a laugh still evident in his voice.
I wasn’t sure how long the three of us crawled through the pipe, but probably not as long as it seemed. Maybe ten minutes, although it felt more like an hour. Bill’s halo continued to light our way and I had to admit I was more than happy for it. Navigating the tunnels would have been a thousand times worse if we had to crawl through them in the pitch black.
“Are ye all right, Besom?” Tallis asked in a soft voice.
“I think so,” I replied, although I wasn’t sure if I were being completely honest. The strain of my emotional responses to everything we’d experienced thus far was definitely taking its toll on me. I was exhausted; and it was a type of fatigue which wouldn’t permit my body to unwind. Instead, my instincts were still on full alert, only taxing my weary body even more. It was difficult to stay ready for anything—and constantly be “on” just in case some hideous creature or creatures ambushed us.
Tallis suddenly stopped moving, and I must not have been paying attention because my head rammed right into his backside. His wool kilt felt like it gave my cheek a rug burn.
“Besom, watch where yer goin’!” he railed at me without any real anger in his tone. It seemed more as if it were just for show. I didn’t say anything when I noticed that our pipe was blocked by an enormous iron plate that occupied the end of the tunnel. Tallis, seemingly unconcerned that our path suddenly ended, reached for what looked like a giant handle, which popped out from the top of the plate. It reminded me of the steel plates you often see on roads in the middle of construction.
“Is the way to the mainland through there?” I asked, deciding to ignore the fact that I’d very nearly sodomized Tallis with the end of my sword.
“Aye,” he answered, and it was plainly obvious that all of his focus was currently on turning the handle on the iron cover in order to open it. He gritted his teeth, his lips going white as he pulled against the handle as hard as he could. The veins in his neck looked like they were about to burst. But when the plate suddenly made a popping sound, I realized Tallis was successful.
“Hmm, seems your brawn is good for something,” I said with a teasing laugh. Tallis looked at me and seemed surprised that I was joking with him. ’Course, having never joked around with or teased him in the past, I wasn’t sure why I was doing so now.
“Aye, an’ Ah am still waitin’ ta see what benefit yer constant blabbin’ will offer oos,” he responded as he reached higher and slid the top of the plate off. I was so intrigued to learn where we now were that I didn’t even stop to ponder Tallis’s lack of social graces, specifically flirting. Instead, I watched him push himself through the opening before disappearing from the tunnel. His hand reappeared in the pipe when he reached down for me, and I took it. With that, he pulled me up and out of the tunnel, right back into the dark night of the Underground City.
Glancing around, I realized I didn’t recognize our whereabouts. We were standing in the middle of a street with nothing but pavement and nondescript buildings on either side of us. There wasn’t a sign of greenery—no plants or trees—because nothing could grow in the Underground City.
As soon as Bill poked his head out of the tunnel, huffing and puffing as he pulled himself up to street level, I heard the rumblings of what sounded like a motor. I spun around and noticed an electric blue, sporty-looking car that pulled up alongside us. Its windows were tinted so dark that I couldn’t make out who or what the driver was. It probably also didn’t help that there was no daylight in the Underground. It was always and perpetually night.
“Shit!” Bill called out with a whoop as he noticed the car. “That’s a Jag XKR-S! That’s sick!” he said, shaking his head in wonder. “That shit’s easily over a hundred thousand clams!”
In response, the car, a two-door coupe that reminded me of a Porsche, opened both of its doors. As soon as it did, I noticed that there was no one sitting in the driver’s seat. “Um,” I said, eyeing Tallis, and wondering what we were supposed to do.
“Shit’s haunted!” Bill screamed, taking a few steps back, and shaking his head. Then he held his hands out straight in front of him, as if he wanted to keep the car at bay. When Tallis took a few steps towards the car and we realized that he intended to get in, Bill started shaking his head furiously. “There’s no way in hell I’m gettin’ in ta some haunted ass car. I’ve already seen Christine, thank you very much. I ain’t interested in experiencin’ it!”
Seemingly in response, the Jag revved its engine and rolled forward about a foot. It was pretty obvious that the vehicle wanted us to get inside it. I looked up at Tallis and swallowed hard as I wondered what his reaction would be. He simply nodded as if to say the car wasn’t a threat; and then as if to prove his point, knelt down and adjusted his sword so it wouldn’t get in his way. Then he took his seat behind the wheel. “Git in,” he said to Bill who continued to shake his head.
“Bill, it’s either that or we walk to wherever Alaire’s headquarters are,” I started as I crossed my arms against my chest. “Shall I describe all the scary things that live in the Underground City for you?”
Bill cocked his head to the side as if he were considering my comment before nodding with a deep sigh and approaching the car with keener interest. Without saying a word, he climbed over the center console and sort of rolled into the backseat. Holding the end of my sword out, so it wouldn’t get stuck as I sat down, I took the passenger seat. The doors on the Jag immediately closed, and before I could take another breath, the motor revved and we were off. I glanced over to see if Tallis was driving the car, but it didn’t appear that he was. Instead, he leaned back into his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. His legs were spread wide and his knees pulled all the way up to his chin in order to fit behind the seat. He actually looked pretty ridiculous because the tiny sports car was way too confining for him.
The car seemed to go from zero to sixty in only a few seconds. I watched the speedometer hike from sixty to seventy to eighty and then ninety. It gripped the road remarkably well as it took a few turns, and the scenery outside my window faded into a blur.
“Seatbelt, nips!” Bill called out from the backseat as I heard him buckling himself in. I immediately nodded and reached for the belt, securing it across my chest and lap, just as the car came to a screeching halt and smoke wafted up from the tires. With my heart in my throat, I glanced over at Tallis to make sure he was okay, and caught him already looking at me with a smile on his face.
“Aye, perhaps Ah will git one o’ these fer mahself,” he said with a chuckle as he ran his hands around the leather-wrapped steering wheel.
“To drive in your forest?” Bill piped up, shaking his head. “You need a four-by, dude.” Then he started nodding vigorously. “Screw that; you know what you need? You need ta move!” Then he started rubbing his chest as if it were sore. “Dude, this frickin’ car gave me niplash.”
The doors to the Jag suddenly opened, indicating that we’d arrived at our destination. I unbuckled myself and stood up, pulling my seat forward so Bill wouldn’t have to climb over the center console again. Then I turned around and noticed we were now parked in front of another high-rise building, surrounded by more concrete and asphalt. This part of the Underground looked exactly like the part we’d just left. Now, however, I noticed there were many more Watchers, walking back and forth, paying particular attention to us.
Watchers looked like mummies, well, that is if someone were to unwrap a mummy from its cocoon. They didn’t have any hair and the skin on their faces looked like spaghetti. They dressed in business su
its and patrolled the Underground, and were generally considered to be Alaire’s eyes.
The moonlight overhead seemed to spotlight us as Tallis reached for my hand and pulled me up close behind him. Then we started for the building directly ahead of us. It was a good six stories high and the only lights that were on came from the very top floor.
“Besom, dinnae show any weakness when ye meet Alaire,” Tallis whispered down to me, tucking me in tightly beside him.
“We passed across the shadows, which subdues the heavy rain-storm.”
– Dante’s Inferno
EIGHT
As to Alaire’s “headquarters,” it looked like some sort of high-end office building. When we walked through the front doors, I immediately noticed the circular interior of the building and then the floors. They looked like a checkerboard, courtesy of alternating black and white marble tiles. In the center of the room were six concrete columns that formed a circle around what I supposed was the lobby desk. The columns extended all the way up to the sixth and top floor. We continued past the lobby desk which, coincidentally, wasn’t being manned by anyone. The fluorescent lights overhead bathed the room in a strange, unnatural glow and the fake plants decorating the walkway to the bank of elevators added a level of plastic to the room. The walls in the hallway were painted blue and interrupted with white, wispy brush strokes which reminded me of clouds. I couldn’t shake the feeling that whoever was in charge of the interior design of the building clearly missed foliage and warm summer days. This was merely a cheap reproduction.
Tallis pushed the button to call the elevator, looking completely out of place in his kilt, sporran, and “Jesus” shoes. With his sword strapped across his chest, he looked more like a Highlander birthday gram sent to some lucky lady.
“Where the hell is everybody?” Bill asked as he glanced around and shrugged. “It’s like we just walked into the Twilight Zone or some shit.”
Bill had a good point. We hadn’t seen one person, creature, or demon inside the building since stepping foot into it. No one was working behind the desk in the lobby, and so far, the only “people” we encountered were the Watchers who continued to patrol outside. Tallis didn’t respond and just stared straight ahead, expressionless.
“Is this an office building?” I asked Tallis after I couldn’t stand his silence any longer. My nerves were on high alert and my heart was beating so quickly, I was afraid it might shut down from fatigue.
“Aye,” he answered finally, his jaw so tight it looked like he might crack a molar. His eyes were narrowed and troubled as he stared straight ahead while we awaited the elevator. I almost felt like Tallis had forgotten that Bill and I were even there. His entire posture was completely rigid, which put me on edge. Whenever Tallis seemed uncomfortable about something, there was usually a very good reason for it.
The elevator doors dinged as they opened wide and the three of us stepped inside. Tallis hit the button for the sixth floor and none of us said another word as we passed all the floors, ending on the sixth. I was too nervous and anxious to speak, and instead, just focused on the interior of the elevator, feeling strangely detached from myself. It was almost as if I were watching a movie of someone who looked like the new Lily Harper as she rode the elevator in silence, wondering what possible fate awaited her on the sixth floor. I figured that was due to the intense stress my body was experiencing.
“Dudes, my gut’s startin’ ta feel funny,” Bill said as he frowned at me and rubbed his stomach. “It’s all rumbling like it’s cranky an’ shit.”
“You’re probably just nervous,” I said, feeling something similar in my own stomach. I tried to smile at Bill in order to console him, but my lips were twitching with uncontrollable nervousness so I was pretty sure my smile came out as more of a wince.
“Pro’lly right,” Bill responded as he swallowed hard and faced me again. “I guess meetin’ the head honcho of hell makes you feel all bloated almost like you got the shit sweats, ya know?”
I just nodded, trying to ignore the “shit sweats” as well as my own unraveling sanity. I decided to ask Tallis more about the building again. “If this is an office building, how come no one is working here?” I asked. “Is it nighttime or something?”
“’Tis always night,” he answered stonily, still facing forward and giving off the appearance of someone who didn’t want to be bothered answering silly questions. Well, I was two steps away from having a mental breakdown because I was so tense about this meeting with Alaire, so I didn’t care if Tallis didn’t want to talk to me.
“Right,” I said as I wondered if there was a better way to phrase my question. “Well, is it past working hours right now or something?”
“Noo one works in headquarters, lass, as Alaire has verra few visitors,” Tallis replied quickly as he turned to face me with an expression of impatience. Clearly, he was preoccupied with other things.
“Hmm,” I said with a frown. “Then why does he have his own office at the top of the building if no one works here? That seems a little strange to me.”
“Ye an’ yer bludy questions,” Tallis grumbled before eyeing me quickly with a discouraging frown. Facing the elevator doors again, the elevator stopped and a second or so later, it dinged, indicating that we’d reached the sixth floor. “Alaire is naethin’ boot pomp an’ circumstance, lass,” he answered hurriedly as he started forward with Bill and me following close behind him. He glanced back at me and his jaw was tighter than before. “Remember, Besom, show nae weakness.”
I inhaled deeply without responding to his warning because I was too busy trying to calm my frantically beating heart. Taking deep breaths, I reminded myself of Tallis’s lessons, breathing in deeply for a count of five and exhaling deeply for a count of five. Amazingly enough, my breathing exercises did manage to alleviate some of the anxiety now flowing through me.
Bill and I followed Tallis out of the elevator and down the hallway, which led to a pair of double doors painted glossy black. The hallway was about six feet wide with charcoal grey walls and black lacquered hardwood flooring. It gave the place a clean, modern sort of look. Very obviously lacking, however, was any artwork on the walls, or any windows.
When we reached the double doors, Tallis took a breath and rapped on one door with his knuckles. His shoulders were so tight, they actually appeared narrower than usual. “Alaire,” he called out. His tone seemed caustic, almost abrasive.
There wasn’t a response right away, but a few seconds later, the right door began to open on its own accord. Tallis stood up straight and placed his hand on the hilt of his sword, but didn’t unsheathe it. With the other hand, he gripped my arm and pulled me closely behind him. I had the sudden desire to unsheathe my sword. So, figuring I should go with my gut instinct, I pulled my sword out. I held it with the tip facing down as I followed Tallis through the door, with Bill just behind me.
“Ah, the Bladesmith,” a man’s voice rang out from the far side of the room as soon as we entered it. The voice was deep and slightly accented, sounding almost Scandinavian.
“Alaire,” Tallis said without inclining his head. His tone of voice was flat; and judging by the way he was holding his shoulders, he appeared to be very uncomfortable.
“It has been too long,” Alaire said as he stood up from his Henry Miller-looking swivel chair. He was sitting behind a large, black desk in a room that shared the same dark tones as the hallway. The walls were painted the same dark charcoal, and the only thing brightening the space was the spotlighting that was inlaid into the ceiling. Two large, black couches sat before Alaire’s desk, and just beyond them was an enormous pool table. It, too, was painted black and had black felt lining. Above the pool table hung three crystal chandeliers. But what I found most interesting were the framed prints hanging on the wall. They were images of 1940’s pin-up girls. The other three walls didn’t display any pictures because they were comprised of multiple floor-to-ceiling windows that revealed panoramic views of most of the Underg
round City.
“You’re the devil?” Bill asked, in a tone of voice that echoed the doubt in my own mind. Even though Alaire obviously wasn’t the devil, he didn’t exactly look as though he were the keeper of the Underground either. He had blond hair, which was cut short, large blue eyes, tan skin, freckles on the bridge of his nose, and dimples on either side of his mouth that made him look decidedly handsome. There was a charming youthfulness about him as well, and I guessed he couldn’t be much older than thirty-five. His height was impressive (standing almost as tall as Tallis) and his body was trim and muscular, judging by the swell of his biceps when he crossed his arms over his chest. He was wearing dark black slacks and a crisp, dark grey, collared shirt that contrasted nicely with his bright hair and white teeth. The first few buttons of his collar were unbuttoned, exposing his tan skin beneath.
“I am hardly the devil,” Alaire answered, his voice sounding amused. With another practiced smile, his gaze settled on me. “And you must be Ms. Harper,” he said the words softly as he strode up toward me and reached for my hand. As I beheld the smooth skin of his fingers, something inside me cracked. Before I even understood what I was doing, I drew my sword in a fraction of a second, resting it right at Alaire’s throat. Apparently, I had deftly perfected the art of putting my enemy “on point.” The surprised expression that registered in Alaire’s eyes was priceless.
“What the hell, Lily!” Bill railed out at me, his tone revealing his shock. “You’ve lost your flippin’ mind!”
However, my attention wasn’t on Bill, but it was narrowed on Alaire as he speared me with his gaze, his mouth lifting up into a smile. His smile conveyed that he wasn’t threatened by the fact that I could run my sword him through at any minute. It was a smile that promised he had other tricks up his sleeve. I didn’t drop my sword, but continued to hold it at his throat. As smooth and handsome as this man was, he was also the embodiment of corruption and malevolence. He symbolized everything the Underground City stood for, and because of that, I hated him.
