by HP Mallory
Reaching down between my legs, he settled his finger on the sensitive flesh between the folds of my skin and started to rub it, teasing the hardened nub as waves of bliss showered me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, much less, think. All I could manage to do was happily succumb to the ecstasy that he wove deep inside me. My whole body started to shake as an orgasm overcame me. I gripped him even more tightly, eagerly playing the role of captive and surrendering to the intense waves of bliss that kept overtaking me. Tallis pulled his hand out and smiled as soon as I managed to open my eyes and breathe again. His smile faded as he unwrapped my legs from around him and pinned them back, until my calves were touching my hamstrings.
He admired me from this angle for a few seconds before thrusting inside me again, pushing himself so deeply, I could only wonder how he managed to fit his full length inside me. He shut his eyes tightly, driving himself even faster until seconds later, he collapsed against my chest, fully spent and exhausted.
I closed my eyes as my left hand ran through the silken tangles of his hair. When he pulled away, a harsh coldness suddenly embraced me, like an emptiness, a bottomless void. I opened my eyes to ask him to place his head against my chest again, but the words disappeared when I found myself facing the blade of the sword he held directly above my heart.
“Tallis?” I started, doubt and fear lacing my voice as my anxious eyes sought his.
“Ah’m sorry,” he said between lips that were so tight, it didn’t even look like he’d spoken. And his eyes seemed suddenly hollow, distant and unfeeling.
I couldn’t respond before he pulled his arms up and planted his sword straight down into my chest. He pushed so hard that I could feel the blade burying itself into the earth beneath me. There was a momentary burst of pain, but when the pain fled, it was as if it never happened. Seconds later, I felt like I was drowning, and my lungs were filling with liquid. I couldn’t breathe.
Tallis sat up and pulled his sword from me before throwing it against the ground. He brought his stricken gaze back to mine. Still, I struggled to breathe.
“Ah’m sae sorry,” he repeated as tears filled his eyes.
I couldn’t understand why. I couldn’t understand what just happened; and I wanted to tell him that, but I couldn’t open my mouth to speak. All I could do was lie there while my lungs filled with what I could only imagine was my own blood. Now that blood was pouring out of my mouth.
Tallis collapsed against me in despair. I wasn’t sure how or why, but I felt my arms wrapping around him, trying to tell him that I understood why he’d done what he had and that I forgave him. But when I touched his back, I felt something sticky, something that was wet and hot.
Suddenly, my vantage point shifted, and I was no longer inside my body, but now an outsider, observing the carnage. I could see my body—small, limp and white. Tallis was still on top of me, straddling me. He was holding my lifeless form, clinging to it while his loud sobs wracked his body and he shook with the effort to restrain them. But it was the view of his back that held me transfixed.
The tree tattoo that encompassed his whole back was no longer black. Instead, every line and every shadow was bright crimson.
Blood, I heard the word echoing through my head. Your blood.
The branches and the roots of the tree continued to drip, and the blood made a path down Tallis’s back and into the earth where it stained the ground bright red. As I watched the blood continue to drain from the tree, I felt myself growing weaker, feebler, and more tired.
I realized then that the tree was my blood and I was losing my life’s essence. The longer it bled, the less life I had. And while I had to admit I was ready and fully prepared to let go, I couldn’t understand how, or why, Tallis would have done this to me.
“Then there uprose upon the sight, uncovered down to the chin, a shadow at his side...”
- Dante’s Inferno
ELEVEN
When air suddenly filled my lungs, I gasped in response, greedily sucking in the biggest breath I could before blowing it out again. I blinked once or twice, and when I opened my eyes, I discovered I was no longer dying in a pasture, surrounded by mountains and a tranquil lake. Instead, I was back in my kitchen. Tallis was standing in front of me, looking horrified. He glanced down at my hand, which was still clasped in his, before dropping it as if it were scalding hot. Then he took a few steps back, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just seen … what we’d just seen. His ordinarily olive complexion was ghastly white, paler than I’d ever seen it, and perspiration beads covered his forehead.
“What was that? What in the hell did I just see?” I asked.
My voice sounded pained as my heart hammered inside my chest, and the awful memories of the vision continued to haunt me. What did it mean? First, Tallis was inside me; and moments later, plunging his sword into my chest, and killing me? Did it portend the future? Or was it somehow a vision of the past? But how could that moment have already occurred? I was never part of Tallis’s distant past. Did that mean, then, that this was our future, our shared destiny?
“Ah dinnae know,” Tallis answered as he continued to shake his head. It appeared this was all one big mystery for which he had no clues. His chest was rising and falling noticeably, giving him the look of someone who was winded and, maybe, even a little frightened.
“I don’t believe that!” I railed back angrily, my voice cracking with the effort. I took a step forward, but stopped once I heard glass crunching underfoot. When I glanced down, I was immediately reminded of the glass of milk Tallis dropped as soon as I mentioned Alaire. That was when I remembered my hands.
I looked down at them and saw they were still raw and bloody, in dire need of first aid. But I couldn’t say my attention was fully engulfed by my wounds. No, instead, it was wrapped up in the subject of the vision I’d just witnessed, and what that vision possibly meant.
“I don’t believe you know nothing about what we both just saw,” I said again, only this time, I used a more even tone of voice. Looking back at Tallis’s face, I scrutinized it. As far as both of us seeing the vision, that was merely a guess on my part, but it was also something I intended to get the answer to.
“Ah dinnae know whit more tae tell ye,” he answered gruffly.
“Tell me what you saw,” I demanded, figuring that was a good place to start. I needed to know if the vision were exactly the same for both of us, or not.
“Ah dinnae want tae discoos it,” he replied as he clenched his jaw shut tightly. His body language conveyed that there was no way he would volunteer anything.
“Well, I do!” The wounds in my hands began to sting, only further igniting my anger. I did my best to ignore the pain, and remained hell-bent on getting some of my questions answered. “I can’t tell you how sick to death I am of these visions that keep hitting me whenever you touch me! I’m tired of all the questions I have about them! And I’m really tired of you never having any answers!”
“Lass,” Tallis started as he held his hands up as if to calm me. But I was way past the point of calming.
“I think it’s closer to the truth to say you do have the answers, but you just won’t give them to me!” I continued, glaring at him as tears of frustration burned the back of my eyes.
“Now is nae the time,” he said. His eyes narrowed on me and his expression seemed discouraging. “We moost first tend tae yer wounds,” he said as his eyes settled on my hands. He took a step nearer to me and reached for my right hand, but then seemed to think better of it, and dropped his arms back to his sides.
“Exactly!” I shouted at him. “You’re afraid to touch me because you’re afraid of what we’re both going to see if you do!”
“Besom, ye need tae calm down,” he chided again, but his words fell on empty ears.
“Fuck calming down!” I yelled as I walked the few steps to the sink and turned the faucet on. I decided to bathe my own wounds since Tallis was obviously reluctant to act as my caregiver.
Once the water felt lukewarm, I passed my left hand underneath it, wincing when the water flow made contact with my wounds.
“Besom,” Tallis started again, reminding me that I still had unfinished business with him.
“I want you to tell me what I, no, what we, just saw!” I insisted as I craned my neck to the side in order to face him.
He didn’t say anything right away, but just stood there, staring at me as the battle of whether or not to tell me the truth played across his face like a bad movie.
“Well, if you won’t talk, I will,” I continued, hating his silence. “I saw you kill me!” I winced as I yanked a shard of glass out of my palm and blood started to pour from the wound. From what I could tell, there were three more pieces of glass still sticking out of my palm. And that was just my left hand.
“Nae,” Tallis said, shaking his head, but I could tell by the guilty expression on his face that he’d seen exactly the same thing. “Ah could never,” he started.
“You can’t deny it, because you saw it too,” I accused him, my voice a little softer this time. I shook my head and clenched my eyes shut tightly, but the memory of him plunging his sword into my chest still plagued me. “Tallis, why did you kill me?” I asked as I opened my eyes, the pain in my voice more palpable. “How could you do that to … me?”
“’Twas nae ye,” he said at last, sighing heavily as he shook his head and took a step nearer me, only to stop himself.
“I was in my own body when I experienced the vision,” I argued as I continued pulling the shards of glass from my left hand with my right. “It wasn’t like I witnessed everything that happened from a third person’s perspective.” Well, that was except for the final scene when I observed his bleeding tattoo. But I decided that little tidbit wasn’t so important at the moment.
“Ye were nae the one,” he started, but quickly shook his head and stopped as if he didn’t want to give away too much.
“I felt you, Tallis,” I argued as I turned from my ministrations and faced him. “I felt you inside me! And it was the most realistic thing I’ve ever experienced. It wasn’t like a dream. It felt … too real.”
When he nodded, it surprised me. I figured he would continue to argue that I hadn’t seen what I thought I had. “Ah saw the same thin’,” he finally admitted, shaking his head as he sighed deeply.
“Then we experienced the same thing together? The sex? And the … murder?”
“Aye,” he said with another brief nod as he dropped his eyes to the ground, refusing to look at me for a few seconds.
“Tallis,” I started, needing him to open up to me, to explain what the vision meant.
“Ah dinnae know why ’twas ye in the vision,” he said as he brought his gaze to mine. “That’s the part that doesnae make any sense tae meh.”
“You don’t know why it was me?” I repeated, shaking my head to show him I wasn’t following him at all. “What do you mean?”
“’Twas never ye,” he answered as he ran his hand through his short hair, all the while looking puzzled.
“What does that mean?!” I asked again, my tone of voice rising in pitch. “None of this makes any freaking sense at all!” I railed, and my voice cracked as I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. I took a deep breath and focused on the floor in order to calm down before I faced him again. “At least tell me something,” I begged. “At least give me something to hang on to.”
“Ah dinnae know whit tae tell ye!” he roared back at me, his anger surprising me. “Ah am as lost as ye are!”
“I doubt that very much,” I said testily. I resumed the task of pulling out the shards of glass, angry at having to care for myself. “Answer me this then,” I started, my mind racing with questions. “Was the vision something that happened in the past? Or do you interpret it as an omen of the future?”
He immediately brought his eyes to mine and his seemed angry, but even more, he looked hurt. “The past,” he spat the words out as if they burned him. “Ah would neva hurt ye, lass. Not now, not ever. Oonder nae circoomstances.” He paused for a second or two and just continued to glare at me. “An’ ye should know that.”
I did believe him, but I didn’t want to admit as much. I was still more than sure he was holding out on me. There were definitely more pieces to this puzzle than Tallis wanted me to believe. “But if it was in the past, that still doesn’t make any sense,” I argued. “You know as well as I do that I’m not part of your past!”
He nodded and then shook his head. “Ah’m aware. Ah cannae answer yer question for Ah dinnae have the answer. Mayhap ye were joost channelin’ someone else?”
“Channeling someone else?” I repeated skeptically. “Like I just randomly became psychic and opened myself up to some spirit and allowed it to speak through me?” He nodded even though I was obviously being facetious. I smiled without humor and shook my head to let him know I didn’t believe any of it for a second. “Then that’s it?” I asked as anger raged inside me. Now it was pretty obvious that he didn’t intend to volunteer anything. “That’s your story and you’re sticking to it?”
“Aye,” he answered with a curt nod.
“Well, I still don’t believe you,” I replied, shaking my head. “Even if you don’t understand why or how I was involved in the vision, I still believe you know more than you’re pretending to know.” He didn’t answer, but that didn’t mean I would let him off so easily. “Tallis, what I saw,” I started before I had to stop since I wasn’t sure exactly how to continue.
“Let oos leave it fer the time bein’,” he said as he glanced down at my hands again. “We need tae tend tae yer wounds.”
“I’m already tending to my wounds!” I snapped at him. Then I took a deep breath and returned to the subject at hand. “What I saw,” I started again. “Did it actually happen?” Then, thinking better of my question, I added, “With someone else?”
Tallis was quiet for a few seconds and his gaze seemed riveted on the corner of the floor, where it met the wall. He just stood there, staring at nothing for a few seconds. When his eyes finally met mine again, they were heavier somehow, looking almost haunted in their dark blue hues.
“Mah past is mah own,” he said with unbending reserve.
I figured that was as close to a “yes” as I could get, a fact that bothered me greatly. Just how sordid was Tallis’s past? But that question was only one more I would never know the answer to. Tallis made it his business to keep his past private. And I was more than aware that the more I prodded him, the more he’d slam his heels into the dirt. So, for now, it was better just to leave the puzzle unfinished. I would file the details in my head, along with all the other mysteries that involved Tallis Black. My only hope was that someday, the answers to all of these riddles would finally take shape, and maybe someday, I would fully understand the man standing before me.
Tallis and I turned to the sound of the front door opening as Bill said, “Look, nips, I know you’ll be pissed that we’re early, but I had ta emergency walk my ass back here ’cause I was at the point of shittin’ my pants!” He appeared in the doorway with Dee right behind him. “I couldn’t even run ’cause I was too scared I might shake it all out,” he finished as he walked inside, closing the door behind him. When he noticed I wasn’t alone, his eyebrows scrunched up in brief confusion followed by tacit disapproval. Then he sighed and shook his head, while his eyes still rested on Tallis. “Dude, you’re like a stage four clinger.”
“What happened?” Dee asked as she ventured closer to the kitchen. She had apparently taken stock of the broken glass all over the floor as well as the smeared blood. Bill was right behind her.
“You’ve finally done it!” he wailed at Tallis as he pushed past Dee, nearly toppling her over in the process. He walked right up to Tallis, who towered over him, but that didn’t stop Bill from glaring up at the much larger man. “You finally attempted to kill nerdlet, didn’t you?!”
“No, Bill, he didn’t!” I defended Tall
is, amazed that Bill would ever think such a thing. But as I remembered seeing Tallis kill me, I wondered if maybe it wasn’t so far fetched, after all.
Bill was too busy shaking his head and puffing out his chest to hear me. “I knew it would come down to this! You were always after Pollyanna for somethin’, weren’tcha?” he ranted, poking his index finger into Tallis’s stomach. “Yeah, you thought you’d take the ol’ virgin out for a spin, only to make a quick sexit, didn’t you? Yeah, I know you did!” he railed, nodding all the while. “But once Gingerlicious was like fuck-to-the-hells-no! You ain’t ready for this jelly, you had to move to plan B! And plan B was all about the dinero, wasn’t it?”
“Bill,” I started, but he held his hand up to indicate he wasn’t finished. I should have known better; once Bill started one of his tirades, there was no stopping him.
“Yeah, it was!” he insisted as he started poking Tallis again. “You figured you found yourself a little nerd-do-well, an’ thought you could hijack all her funds! So you show up here in your jeans and your clean shirt, lookin’ all lumbersexual an’ when she doesn’t lay down an’ part her Red Sea, you decide you’re gonna off her!”
“Shut yer geggie!” Tallis shouted at the much smaller man. He grasped Bill’s index finger from his chest and shoved Bill backwards, nearly sending him careening into the wall.
“Leave my geggie the hell outta this!” Bill yelled back, throwing his hands on his pudgy hips as he righted himself.
“Yer off yer bleedin’ heid!” Tallis roared as he pointed to my hands. “Ye think Ah would try tae kill her by attackin’ her hands, ye bludy walloper!”
Bill was about to say something, but apparently thought better of it. Biting his lip, he glanced over at me, and more specifically, my hands, which I still held under the flow of the faucet. He studied me for a few seconds before he noticed all the broken glass littering the floor and shrugged. “Whatevs.” Then he started for the hallway that led to his bedroom. “I ain’t got time for this anyways; I gotta shit.”
