by HP Mallory
“How so?” Tallis inquired.
“The master cares about the defensive measures taken to guard his city. Thus, we are discussing all the extra procedures that must be taken in order to protect the city and its inhabitants. And as for the edict, which disallows us to freely roam, I am now firmly outside that jurisdiction.”
Tallis didn’t respond, but simply nodded, his focus now entirely on the creature. A second or so later, he glanced beyond Shrezor and appeared to look at the Watchers. Then he returned his attention to Shrezor.
“Ah have ah message Ah would like ye tae deliver tae the master o’ the city,” Tallis said, his voice flat, and almost calm.
“What message would that be?” Shrezor asked, its attention still riveted on me. It reached forward, its clawed hand barely missing my face.
Tallis never answered. Well, not verbally anyway. Instead, literally in the blink of an eye, he hefted his sword high above his head and brought it down, severing Shrezor’s head from its body. It happened so fast, I had to blink twice before watching the head roll to convince myself what just happened.
“Conan’s lost his fuckin’ mind!” Bill yelled, but I found I couldn’t utter a word, or even a sound.
All I could do was watch as the creature’s colorless blood sprayed from its neck like a sprinkler gone awry. Tallis reached down and picked the head up by its tendrils before tossing the offensive object down the walkway, toward the Watchers. They just sat and stood there dumbly, as if they weren’t sure what to make of the situation. Meanwhile, Tallis grabbed Shrezor’s body and took a few steps toward the Watchers before hurtling the corpse in their direction as well.
Once Shrezor’s body landed at their feet, the Watchers dove on top of it. Horrified, I observed them as they ripped off its arms and legs before thrusting their hands into the creature’s abdomen and pulling its intestines and liver free. They feasted on it, chewing off its arms and legs, and making spluttering sounds as they swallowed the goopy entrails.
“Disgusting,” Bill said as he observed them. And I was pretty sure he wasn’t playing the dis game anymore.
“I come not of myself...”
- Dante’s Inferno
FOURTEEN
“Why did you do that?” I asked Tallis, raw shock still pulsing through me.
“Ah wanted tae send ah message tae Alaire,” he answered in an offhand manner. He acted as if he’d simply written and posted a letter to Alaire, rather than deftly hacking Shrezor’s head clean off its body before feeding it to the Watchers.
“What the hell kinda message did ya wanna send him?” Bill asked, looking just as shaken as I felt. “That you’re comin’ for him next?” Glancing over at me, where I was still sitting beside him, he added, “Instead o’ callin’ him Conan, I’m gonna start callin’ him The Punisher.”
“Alaire has nae business changin’ the procedures that have been in place fer centuries,” Tallis interjected. His lips tightened as he gazed out the window of the train. He appeared to be looking for something. After another few seconds, he returned his attention to us.
“I get what a big dickhead Alaire is,” Bill started, his eyes still wide, “but, dude, why the hell do you care what he does inside his own city?”
“Ye dinnae git it,” Tallis said as he shook his head and laughed. It was a strangely macabre sound and totally devoid of any humor.
“That’s pretty much what we’ve been gettin’ at,” Bill agreed with an emphatic nod, the expression of “Duh!” quite obvious on his face.
Tallis glanced back at the Watchers, who were still busily feeding on what was left of Shrezor’s body, before turning to us again. He gripped the handrail beside him tightly and faced the front of the train.
“We will disembark here,” he announced.
As if in response, the train began to slow down. Seconds later, it came to a complete stop and the doors slid open. Tallis quickly got off, and I noticed the Watchers were so busy with Shrezor, they failed to realize we were leaving. That was just as well. Gripping my sword, I jumped up and started for the door, Bill hot on my heels.
When I eventually stepped foot onto the ground outside, I scanned the perimeter, but didn’t perceive much in terms of sights to see. Instead, it looked like we were in the middle of a barren landscape; only the train tracks divulged any sign of civilized life. Of course, life in the Underground City could never be considered civilized. Regardless, it appeared that we were on the top of a hill. I saw a steep ravine flanking both sides of the train tracks, which lay across a narrow dirt path. There were no trees to speak of, not even dead ones, only endless miles of train track that stretched far into the horizon beyond where the eye could see.
“Where the hell are we now, yo?” Bill asked as he twirled around, taking stock of the unfamiliar environment. Meanwhile the train departed, leaving us in darkness, except for the light coming from the moon. “Looks like we just got dropped off onto the set of The Hills Got Eyes,” Bill finished before eyeing me with a shudder. “And we sure as hell better not have!”
“Is the Underground City really that different, Bill?” I asked, shaking my head, and answering the question for myself.
“Yeah, good point,” Bill replied, kicking a rock with the tip of his shoe until it plummeted down the side of the hill.
“Are we close to the graveyard?” I asked Tallis. My tone of voice sounded worried even though I tried to mask it. In general, I trusted Tallis. Even though I could say that watching him surgically dismember Shrezor might’ve shaken my faith just a bit …
“Nae close, nae far,” he answered unapologetically before starting forward. We began walking in an easterly direction, along the sides of the tracks.
“What does that mean?” I demanded, suddenly irritated by his response. Due to the narrow path, I had to walk single file behind Tallis while Bill picked up the rear.
Tallis turned around and smiled at me. “It means that Ah didnae want tae tarry in the train any longer because Ah didnae wish tae be overheard.” I figured that meant he didn’t want the Watchers to pry into our conversation, lest they report it back to Alaire. “So now we have mayhap, ah two-mile walk afore we reach the gates o’ the City o’ Dis,” he finished, facing forward again.
“Two friggin’ miles?” Bill muttered. “Fuck, dude, if I’da known we’d be doin’ Crossfit, I woulda called in sick or some shit.”
“What were you worried about the Watchers overhearing exactly?” I asked Tallis, opting to ignore Bill for the moment.
Tallis was quiet for a few seconds. He slowly glanced down at his feet before looking up at the horizon again. It was eerie how even though we were outside, there were no sounds of life. No insects chirping, no wind blowing through the tree branches, no animals walking, nothing! Only the unnatural sound of complete silence. Well, aside from our footfalls, that is.
“Ah believe Alaire is oop tae nae good,” Tallis announced.
“Meaning what, exactly?” I asked.
“Meanin’ Ah believe he is bendin’ the rules because he is tryin’ tae usurp control by creatin’ chaos,” Tallis explained.
“Usurp control?” I repeated in disbelief. “From whom?”
“Um, paranoid much, anyone?” Bill piped up from behind me.
“From anyone,” Tallis shrugged.
“Why do you think that?” I asked, struggling to understand his reasoning. As far as Alaire was concerned, I did find it interesting how adamant he was about beefing up security where his city was concerned. It certainly didn’t appear to me like the Underground City was in any type of danger, but I hadn’t given it much thought beyond that.
“Ah cannae come oop with anoother alternative,” Tallis finished as he shook his head. Then he glanced back at me and added, “If ye look at the facts, ye will see ah disconcertin’ pattern.”
“The facts?” I repeated, still failing to catch his drift.
“Aye, the facts,” Tallis answered with a brief nod. “An’ whit are they, lass?”
I took a deep breath and considered Alaire’s bizarre decisions of late. “Um, well, we know he’s been creating soldiers that he plants into the Dark Wood; and their sole intention is making our job as Soul Retrievers more difficult,” I started.
“Aye, that is noomber one,” Tallis agreed, holding his index finger up in the air. “Whit else?”
“And he was meeting with Shrezor to discuss further beefing up with regard to the city’s defenses,” I answered.
“Aye, noomber two,” Tallis responded.
“Wait, yo! What about when Alaire sent those shitty, little demons to the island of horny-ass women?” Bill piped up from behind me. “Member the ones that took a bite outta nerdlet and nearly killed her sorry ass?”
“The Hanuush demons,” I clarified with a sigh. I shook my head because I didn’t think Bill was onto anything. “And that would have been the toy store, not the ‘island of horny-ass women,’” I finished. But then I had to shrug because those women were incredibly horny … “Although your description fits better.”
“Right?!” Bill asked with a chortle that died as quickly as it erupted. “Damn! Why can’t any of our freakin’ missions take us back there? That was like, the best night of my life, yo! Bangin’ five super-hot, Goth, Elvira wannabes, and every one of them with a crazy foreign accent!” He was quiet for a few seconds, apparently reliving the memory. “I was like in this crazy sexual bliss; ’course it was mixed with also bein’ totally an’ completely petrified.” I glanced back at him with a curious expression as he explained. “I was scared outta my freakin’ mind that they were gonna stake me before drainin’ me of all my blood, or some shit.” Then he smiled while shaking his head. “Guess I was the only one doin’ the stakin’!”
“Oh, God, TMI,” I ground out. “What does your little, pornographic tangent have to do with Alaire going AWOL, anyway?”
“Well, he broke the rules by sending the Hanuush demons to the island, right?” Bill asked, shrugging.
“Ah believe Alaire was more interested in makin’ sure Besom remained in his debt,” Tallis interjected.
As soon as I was reminded of that debt, my heart dropped. Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself not to worry about things I couldn’t control. For right now, I had enough to concentrate on with just the task at hand. I had no time to worry about my future.
“So, you think Alaire is trying to break all the rules just to create chaos?” I asked Tallis. I wanted to discuss anything but the favor I still owed Alaire.
“Aye,” Tallis responded while nodding insistently. “In times of chaos, Alaire becomes even more powerful.”
I nodded because I got it. It made sense that chaos bred opportunity. I just wasn’t sure if Tallis was jumping to conclusions. I mean, it wasn’t like there was really that much out of whack in the Underground City. Well, as far as I could tell anyway—it seemed like business was pretty much per usual. Only Shrezor believed he was no longer under the jurisdiction of whatever level Tallis said he came from … the morgue, I believed it was. It’s not like we saw any other creatures breaking rank and making a run for it.
However, Alaire’s bizarre actions were not exactly foremost in my mind. What was taking first place in my thoughts was that Shrezor seemed to know Tallis and there was that weird part about running for office … “Tallis, why did Shrezor refer to you as a politician?” I asked.
“Yeah!” Bill sounded from behind me. “What the hell was all that shit about?”
“Ah dinnae know,” Tallis replied, but way too quickly.
“There’re only so many times you can use that excuse,” I rebuffed in a perturbed tone. “And you’re already way over your quota.”
“Ah dinnae care tae discoos it, lass,” Tallis answered, his tone harsher. He was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again. “There are incidences in mah past that Ah dinnae want tae bring tae the light o’ day.”
“Then that’s that?” I asked between tight lips. “You refuse to answer any questions about your past?”
“Aye, that’s that,” Tallis answered without bothering to look back at me. He squared his shoulders and walked forward, possibly even hastening his steps.
That’s not fair! I thought to myself. How am I supposed to put my trust in someone when I don’t know what he’s done in his past or what he’s capable of now?
I couldn’t answer my question because something very large and very black suddenly darted across the train tracks. It was maybe five feet in front of us. It moved so quickly, it appeared mostly as a blur before it disappeared over the hillside in an instant. Tallis stopped walking so abruptly, I nearly plowed right into him.
“Ready yerself!” he called out.
Immediately tightening my palm around the grip of my sword, I held it up beside my face while bracing my feet shoulder-width apart. Then I scanned the perimeter, seeking any kind of clue for whatever just flew in front of us. But there was nothing. The air was just as still as ever, and the only sounds to interrupt the otherwise quiet night was the panting from Bill and me.
“What the hell fuck was that?” Bill whispered after another few seconds.
“Shhh!” I chastised from the side of my mouth as I focused on the darkness around us again, every nerve in my body at attention.
Another few seconds rolled by, and still, nothing revealed itself.
“Whatever that was, I think it’s history,” Bill whispered. His voice was loud enough that I figured he must have been addressing Tallis. But Tallis made no motion to lower his sword, or to move forward. He just stood there, rooted, as still as a statue.
“Dudes! Sorry to be the messenger of bad news, but we gotta get a move on ’cause I’m about ta shit my pants,” Bill protested nervously. When I glanced back at him with a discouraging expression, I noticed him hopping from one foot to the other.
“Bill, stop talking!” I whisper-yelled at him.
“I can’t help it!” he semi-cried back at me. “Whatever the hell that thing was, it gave me the fright squirts and I’m about ta lose total control of my sphincter.” Then he inhaled deeply. “And if that happens, we could all be in a situation that we might never come back from!”
“Bill,” I started, swiftly losing my train of thought when, from the corner of my eye, I perceived a black shadow darting out right beside me. It seemed like time stood still as I lurched around at the same moment as the thing plowed right into me. The force of it was so intense, it sucked my terrified scream right out of me. I was soon being thrust backward and couldn’t help accidentally releasing my sword. I heard the faint sound of the blade when it hit the metal of the train tracks. Before I could think another thought, I was airborne. Fighting to catch my breath, my lungs burned and ached with the effort. I couldn’t open my eyes, due to the wind against my face.
“Ah!” I screamed as soon as I felt my back landing against something hard. A split second later, my head bounced against the ground. Immediately, an ache began to pound behind my eyes as stars danced before them. I clenched them shut tightly and tried to ignore the dizziness that threatened to disorient me. When I opened them again, I could only scream.
The monster on top of me was huge. Enormous. Its shoulders were so broad, I couldn’t see anything behind them. My vision started to go bleary again, so I closed my eyes and prayed to anyone who was listening not to let this abomination eat me. When I managed to open my eyes again, I focused strictly on its neck. Or lack thereof. What should’ve been its neck was so wide, it blended into its shoulders, making its face appear as if it were protruding directly from its collar. The hideous creature was also covered in long, stringy brown hair.
Trapped in the slow moving grip of terror, I finally brought my gaze from the creature’s neck to observe its face. As soon as I did, my breath caught and another scream lodged in my throat. The thing opened its mouth, revealing a lethal set of very pronounced and very sharp teeth. Then it growled, low and guttural. Its eyes glowed red. They were surrounded by darkish
brown skin that matched the leathery texture of its horns, jutting out from its forehead. Each one must have been eight inches long.
“Go … go away!” I whispered to the thing when I finally managed to find my voice. The creature made no motion to leave, of course, but also didn’t appear especially threatening, at least, not for the moment. Instead, it simply observed me from where it hovered above me. It didn’t make any motion to bite me, or to tear me up with its daggerlike claws. At that thought, I glanced at its hands and estimated each one as easily double the size of my head.
Realizing the bad situation I was in, my first thought was of my sword. Hoping it was somewhere nearby, I turned to my right and then my left. As soon as I turned my head to the left, however, a searing pain traveled straight up my neck. I heard myself gasping as I clenched my eyes shut. Then I remembered dropping my sword on the railroad tracks …
So where was I now? Opening my eyes, I tried to ignore the creature still looming above me as it watched me curiously. Methodically, I glanced around and discovered I was lying in the middle of what appeared to be a cave. The ceiling looked like it was constructed from slate, or some other type of stone. From what little I could see of the floor, due to my limited viewpoint and the pitch darkness, I noticed it was littered with debris. I continued to inspect said debris, until I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why? Because when my pupils finally adjusted to the dark and I could focus, I realized with a wave of horror that I was looking at bones.
“Does not the sweet light strike upon his eyes?”
- Dante’s Inferno
FIFTEEN
Bones? I thought to myself as an undeniable bubble of panic started to wend its way up my spine. This thing intends to eat me!
Thankfully, the creature didn’t exactly look like it was hungry, or in a killing mood … period. No, it just continued to study me, cocking its head to the side as it perused my face. Even though it wasn’t touching me, it was still straddling me. I was close enough that I could feel the intense heat it radiated as well as smell its musty odor. It smelled just like you’d imagine a yak-man would—mostly like an unwashed, very hairy animal.
