by HP Mallory
The wee angel pointed at the phone. “Right on. So if we’re gonna git those retrievers out, we gotta git that pile o’ logs Tido calls home back inta shape.”
Poly’s voice turned probing. “Why, has something happened to your cabin in the Dark Wood, Mr. Black?”
“Ah’ve been away a fortnight an’ me cabin’s in the midst o’ a wood full o’ monsters. Do Ah really need tae say more?”
“All right, all right! Point taken… as is yours, Jenny,” Poly answered.
Jenny made a mock gasp that nearly blew out the speakers. “Do my ears deceive me or did proud Polyhymnia just agree with me?”
“Your ears are working well enough, yes,” Poly snapped. “It’s obvious we need to establish a network of contacts through the Underground City for the transport of stranded Soul Retrievers.”
“Begging your pardon, mademoiselle, but that sounds like anything but an easy task,” Nicolas spoke up.
Addie chose that moment to show why she became the unofficial leader of her group before we ran into them at Custer’s camp. “Yeah, well, if it were easy, somebody would have already done it way before now. Guess that leaves us to take care of it.”
Harry piped in with, “And it needs to happen soon… every second we spend talking is another second some poor bastard’s getting the hell beaten out of them.”
The stookie angel sighed. “Got that right, yo… I saw one poor guy gittin' the shittzles beat out o’ him in a garage over in Dis.”
I gritted me teeth. “An’ let’s nae forgit the poor souls workin’ that cafeteria down in the Asylum.”
Besom appeared sad. “Do we have even a rough count of how many Soul Retrievers are missing right now?”
“This should come as no surprise, Ms. Harper,” Poly started, her stern tone reflecting some of Lily’s sadness. “But that particular bit of data is another issue Streethorn has been fighting us on.”
Sally smoothly rolled right over her sister’s voice. “It’s not like Streethorn’s refusing to tell us anything. It’s more like he’s not telling us the truth. First came the excuse that the system was down. Then they couldn’t find the files. Then they found the files but the files were so heavily redacted, no one could make sense of them anyway.”
Kay was surprisingly bold in her response. “Hey, look, it doesn’t matter how many retrievers are trapped down there. One is too many, right?”
“But we’ve still got to have some idea how many are down there, Kay,” Addie responded. “You want to know what your gains are, so you have to know where you started.”
I could practically hear the nod in Poly’s voice. “Well said. With all the above in mind, do any of you know anyone still residing in the Underground City who we could rely on as a member of our proposed network?”
The acid in Jenny’s voice could have eaten through Fergus Castle’s wall. “Besides me, you mean?”
“Of course… but we’ve already decided your little outpost at the Toy Store is insufficient,” Poly said.
I didnae know what beef these two had with each other, but we didnae have time to let it derail our planning. So I opted to put forth the first person I could think of. “Margreet down in the Asylum might be someone we could call on. But even with her, meself an’ Jenny, that still leaves aboot six Circles lackin’ any people we can trust.”
Besom leaned closer to the phone again. “Plus, we also need solid lines of communication, ways to get people in and out, security—”
A loud clearing of the throat cut me Lily off mid-sentence. “I am well aware, Ms. Harper, of the infrastructure requirements for this project. What I am not aware of is how we can pull it off using only the means we currently have available to us,” Poly finished.
Jenny leapt to Besom’s defense before I could get a chance. “We’re just going to have to find those means, Polyhymnia. Buy it, borrow it, steal it… the ends justify the means and that includes all of the above.”
Sally spoke in a stage whisper. “She’s kind of right, sis. AE isn’t exactly too cooperative right now.”
“To put it mildly, Mademoiselle Thalia… but to put it more bluntly, AE is the single biggest obstruction to the very problems it is supposed to resolve,” Perenelle added and then hummed in a thoughtful way.
I saw a look of determination pass over Besom’s face. “Which is as good a time as any to bring up something unpleasant: how deeply has Alaire infiltrated AE?”
“Well, ma petite, we can assume that Streethorn is appropriately compromised, n’est-ce-pas?” Perenelle responded.
As expected, Perenelle’s husband took that moment to add to his wife’s speculations. “But for Streethorn to exert such influence over Afterlife Enterprises from so lowly a position suggests Streethorn has something with which to blackmail them.”
Harry seemed to take that thought to heart. “And that’s why we’ve got to play this very carefully. I mean, no disrespect, ladies, but is this line secure enough for us to—”
“It’s okay, Harry,” Sally interrupted. “We set this phone number up ourselves. It’s completely off the grid.”
Poly added, “We have as much or more to lose as any of you, I promise.”
“Speaking of things we prefer not to lose, what’s the latest status on the Urn?” Kay asked, bringing up a subject that was of major concern during our last trip.
“We’ve still got it… or, I guess I should say, Bill’s still got it,” Besom answered.
Poly didnae sound very reassured. “Say that again?”
“You heard right, Poly,” the angel answered as Poly grunted. “I got that urn in a place that’s outta sight, outta mind, an’ outta the loop.”
“Humph! Asking you to secure something valuable is as ludicrous as sending Genghis Khan to act as a peace mediator,” Poly returned.
“Hey! I know the stakes! Or do I gotta remind y’all where Uriel is right now?” Bill demanded.
The tension in the wee fellow’s voice made me heart go out to him. Nary a being I knew of deserved the likes of Alaire’s dungeons, save mayhap Alaire himself. Knowing The Angel of Death was trapped inside Alaire’s dungeon was an insult to everything right and good.
Sally came in to smooth the waters. “Can’t really forget about that part, Billy, seeing as I’ve been proving to Poly that the pic you sent was anything but a fake.”
“Bill, can you retrieve the urn relatively quickly in the event that you need to?” Poly nearly interrupted.
Apparently, the stookie angel forgot that nae one but Besom and I could see him, as he shrugged. “More or less… but the important thing is: the urn ain’t in Blondie’s clutches right now.”
I stroked me chin before announcing something ’twas nagging at me for a while. “Ah cannae stop thinkin’ aboot one question: why did Alaire need Uriel an’ the Urn so badly?”
Addie came through the phone with an annoyed voice. “Um, maybe because when you’re trying to take over the world, it helps to have really big guns?”
“Niccolo Machiavelli did have a pertinent argument when it came to the subject of ‘armed prophets’,” Poly added.
I shook me head in frustration. “Ye’re missin’ me point, ladies. If big, destructive things were all that slick bastard was after, he’d be spoiled fer choice, he would. Yet he picks Pandora’s most infamous dowry an’ takes the time an’ trouble tae bring low the archangel most closely associated with the earth. So, Ah ask, why would Alaire go fer those two specifically?”
The stookie angel looked up at me with a frown on his face. “Aside from bein’ used as people o’ mass deconstruction, Tido? All we know is it ain’t good, yo.”
Poly calmly bounced off that thought. “Which is why it’s so critical that all of our assembled Soul Retrievers return to the field as soon as possible, especially you, Ms. Harper. There is little or nothing we can uncover of Alaire’s true intentions from this side of the divide.”
Besom didnae look happy about going back—and I could hardly blame her�
�but it didnae stop her from asking her next question. “So, with all the official paperwork finally done, how soon can we expect to return?”
“You’ll be receiving your new marching orders tomorrow morning at six AM local time, regardless of whatever time zone you happen to inhabit,” Poly answered.
Harry groaned at the news. “That’s not a lot of time for anyone to prepare.”
“But prepare you should, darling boy,” Jenny said, sounding downright motherly. “The last thing I want for any of the people on this call is to end up being so destroyed that they wind up on my doorstep.”
Sally nervously cleared her throat. “And on that cheery note, I think it best to consider this meeting adjourned.”
The other callers agreed and we hung up a minute later. The stookie angel, me beloved and I all looked at each other for a few minutes. Then Besom broke the silence.
“Guess I’d better get that extra set of clothes out of the closet tomorrow morning.”
I nodded. “Ah’ll git tae sharpenin’ me blade afore Ah retire tae bed.”
The angel waddled over to the fridge. “I’ll thaw out some provituals for the morning.”
I frowned. “Ye know there’s plenty o’ game we could hunt out there in the Dark—”
“Uh, yeah, no disrespect, Tido, but I kinda like to know that my food wasn’t something that coulda eaten me when it was alive.”
FOUR
Lily
The next morning, I was up before dawn again. Thankfully, being up so early didn’t have anything to do with the recurring nightmare this time. I managed to get a deep, dreamless sleep that actually refreshed me. Another big difference about this morning was the pajamas I was wearing: a plain white nightshirt and some comfortable panties. Even so, I made a point of checking myself in the mirror again. Once I confirmed that my skin hadn’t changed color, my hair was still auburn and I hadn’t grown any extra inches or limbs, I quietly opened the closet door.
Waiting on the other side was a chainmail shirt and a matching pair of chainmail pants. Both were so heavy, they required a trio of coat hangers. I examined the pants first, awed by how much they weighed. But that was the whole point of wearing chainmail armor. You trade your comfort for protection…. I felt the inside of the pants for one concession, a thick layer of heavy leather, which the shirt also (thankfully) had on the inside. With that many little metal links, it was impossible to stop the clinking when I pulled the pants out. Tallis rolled over in bed as I finally got the pants buckled up.
“Wha’s that racket, Besom?”
I pulled off my nightshirt and turned around bare-chested. “Just thought I’d practice my sword drills with my battle armor this morning.” While speaking, I weighed the pros and cons of wearing a bra under the armored shirt I had yet to don.
When Tallis let out a heavy sigh, I thought he might go back to sleep. Then he proved me wrong.
“If Ah’d known ye’d be traipsin’ aboot in that getoop ‘round the house, Ah’d never hae asked the stookie angel tae git me the proper tools tae forge it.”
I put my hands on my hips, my areolas pointing at him like accusing fingers. His eyes were suddenly on them like hawks and as I watched, he licked his lips.
“Bring yer wee self over here, lass,” he said.
I laughed. “No, we don’t have time this morning.”
“An’ why nae?”
“Because I have stuff to do.”
“Aye, me too.”
“What do you have to do?”
“You.”
“Tallis,” I started, shaking my head as he lumbered out of the bed and approached me. “I’m serious. I’ve got stuff to do!”
“It can wait,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. His fingers splayed over my breasts and my nipples grew instantly hard.
“Ah want inside ye,” he whispered.
“You had me four times last night,” I said, still laughing.
“So whit? ‘Twas nae enough.”
I could feel his erection poking into my back and I wondered how his sexual appetite was even possible. Tallis Black was insatiable.
I turned around and pushed him away. “I. Am. Busy.”I opted for a bra and walked to the chest of drawers to grab one. While I put the bra on, Tallis made a weird noise in his throat that sounded like a grunt and a moan. I shrugged, grabbing the metal shirt from the closet.
I reached inside the shirt to pull the hangers out before I slipped it on. The enormous weight pressed down on my entire body like a mini-boulder. After straightening out the bottom of the shirt, I checked myself in the mirror. Definitely not very stylish but I did look like Joan of Arc. I winced at the comparison, remembering how the original version was currently unjustly confined inside Pandora’s Urn.
Tallis interrupted my thoughts with more grumbling. “Come back tae bed, me love.”
“Your sweet-talking me won’t work this morning,” I responded as I turned to face him and noticed he was standing there, stark naked, and his penis was sticking straight out. I couldn’t help but smile at it and then him. “I’m a woman on a mission.”
“Ach, Ah wish yer mission was tae give yer man the lovin’ he deserves.”
“You had me all night long.”
“Sae whit?”
“So, I’ve had enough Scottish plowing for the immediate future.”
He started to laugh. “Scottish plowin’?”
“That’s right.”
“Ah bother!” he grumbled as he waved me away and threw himself back into my bed. The links of my chainmail clinked as I looked over my shoulder at him.
“Goodnight, Tallis,” I said with a smile.
“The plowman has naethin’ tae say!”
###
As I worked up a sweat during my second round of drills, I concluded wearing a bra was a good call. The chafing on the rest on my body was enough of a distraction. In addition, the overbearing weight of the armor was slowing down all my sword strokes and the leather refused to allow my covered skin to breathe.
Still, I was sure I was doing the right thing. This kind of hardship was a battle skill I needed to get used to while I was still safe. I’d be confronting the same issues again soon enough but under a lot less friendly circumstances. At least, that’s what I told myself when the muscles in my arms and calves started to cramp.
By the time I ended my fifth rep of blade exercises, I could barely move. Even so, I made myself continue, pushing my body to its limits. Of course, I’d regret it when the adrenaline wore off and every inch of me felt like one big bruise. Right now, though, I was too busy learning how to prevail in a fight with all this extra weight.
I’d just finished the last drill when my AE cellphone rang. Ear plugs or not, Bill was startled awake by the noise. He began making the same kind of growling sounds Tallis had, and I set my blade next to the wall so I could snatch up the phone. “Hello?”
“Ms. Harper, this is Jason Streethorn. How are you this morning?”
Hearing the slimy voice of the creep who’d lied to me from the very start made my flesh crawl. I couldn’t quite manage to keep the uneasiness out of my voice. “That depends on why you’re calling me.”
“Oh, it’s only good news I have to share, you may rest assured. As of ten minutes ago, Afterlife Enterprises Internal Investigation committee cleared you of all allegations. You are approved for Soul Retriever duty. You’ll be starting your next assignment immediately.” I pulled the phone away from my ear to check the clock—just a few minutes past six AM. Bill had been right about the Muse sisters coming through.
“Ms. Harper?” Streethorn said, clearly wondering why I wasn’t answering.
I put the phone back to my ear. “Sorry, I spaced out there for a second. I haven’t been sleeping well for the last couple of weeks.”
Streethorn used a tone that he probably thought sounded compassionate. It didn’t. “Perfectly understandable… uncertainty in one’s career can be even more taxing than any
of the rigors the Underground City has to offer.”
I rolled up my shoulders to give them some relief from the abuse I’d just put them through. “I have one question.”
“And that would be…?”
The rolling of my shoulders seemed to help a little but the pain kept seeping back into my joints. “Regarding all those lackeys of Alaire that I killed, shouldn’t I still be on the hook for them?”
No, it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to bring up offenses of the past but I wanted to make sure this clearing I’d just been awarded applied to all my grievances.
“As I said, you’ve been cleared of your previous allegations and you may proceed without prejudice. What more is there to discuss?” I heard his tone subtly harden under the spoken words. Harden like he was pissed off he was delivering this news.
Oh, well… his loss, my gain. “So what’s this new assignment?”
“You’ll be heading back to the Seventh Circle, to an area I believe you’ve never traversed. Somehow, one of our wayward souls wound up in the border marches that lead directly into the Eighth Circle.”
His wormy attitude aside, I had to admit I was intrigued. “Anything solid you can tell me about that area?”
“Oh, I’m certain that your previous visitations to both Circles will have adequately prepared you for any challenges that may arise in the Eighth Circle, Ms. Harper.”
Yeah, that tells me a lot… like how you probably know more than you’re letting on as usual. Even while I was having my inside coversation, another question popped into my head. “Mind if I bring Tallis and Bill along for this job?”
There was just a second of hesitation before Streethorn answered. “I’ve received no instructions that would order otherwise.”
“Then we’ll be on our way in just a few hours.”
“Glad to hear it… Happy hunting, Ms. Harper.”
As I hung up, Bill rose into a sitting position on the couch. “Good news?”
