by HP Mallory
“I figured as much. But was there any truth in what he said about the Blood Plains?”
Tallis answered that one, his eyes still trained on the darkness where Trish had vanished. “All o’ it, Besom… all o’ it ‘tis true.”
He was still watching the dark space when he spoke again. “Ah be right tae say, Dahlia, that you all got here by means other than walkin’?”
Dahlia scoffed. “You know it, Shaggy.”
“How?” he asked, ignoring her name for him. Shaggy—I couldn’t help but smile. It did fit.
“Heavy armored car that might as well have been a damn tank,” Dahlia said. “Those jokers on the Plains knocked it around enough to make us nervous.”
That concerned me a little. “With what, their bare hands?”
“Nah, guns, grenades, rockets, they even hit us with a few artillery shells. But none of them ever got close enough to take us off the count.”
Kirk moaned, still clutching his aching groin. “Well, that call from Alaire means the rolling bank vault’s on its way back with a fresh batch of lookouts.”
“I’d really rather not be here when that tank rolls up,” Dahlia said. “We’re in no shape to—” She stopped talking as fresh footsteps sounded behind her.
In all the excitement, I never noticed the gate wasn’t closed. So I was a little startled to see Minos walking through it as if we were still in the Dark Wood. His eyes seemed sad, like he was about to do something that had to be done but he hated to be the one to do it.
Kirk spoke up first. “So… you’re the guy Alaire was scared of, I’m guessing?”
Minos nodded gravely. “Quite correct, young man… I take it my officers provided a detailed description of my appearance?”
Dahlia coughed and winced. “Yeah, something like that. Look, I’m as social as the next gal but we got us a major monster truck ready to show up any sec.”
He looked around at the Janissaries before his eyes landed on me. “I can get these wayward children to relative safety. But if you all wish to avoid the reinforcements our young lady just spoke of, I suggest you depart from this location at once.”
Between the form of justice I’d already witnessed from Minos and the state these kids were in, I wasn’t sure leaving was such a good idea. “Go easy on them, okay? All they did was—”
The ex-judge held up his hand. “I know what they did. And I promise to treat them more fairly than Alaire would.” Dropping his hand, his face held the kind of urgent panic I remembered while trying to get out of Alaire’s castle. “But please… you must be on your way!”
By then, Bill had waddled out to the perimeter of the light cone, furiously waving his arms between us and the shadows beyond. “He’s talkin’ sense, Nips. Let’s vamanos!”
I didn’t like it but there was no denying the sensibility of what they both were saying. I did my best to keep my face neutral until the darkness swallowed it up. Behind me, I could hear Minos telling one of them—probably Kirk, since he was the least injured—to help him get everyone else through the gate.
Tallis gave me a sideways hug. “Look at it this way, Besom. If Alaire needs an armored car tae deal with the Blood Plains, nae escort coulda kept ye safe anyway.”
I heard what he was saying. But it was hard to balance that fact with the near certainty of what Minos intended to do to those poor kids.
NINE
Bill
Angel eyes are good at seeing things nobody else can. But, don’t get me wrong, when it gets dark enough, we stumble around like everybody else. But if I’m close enough to get a peek at someone’s aura, I can read them like the latest Penthouse. That’s how I knew Nips was having a hard time. I ain’t talking about walking—she was making that Alice In Chainsmail work for her—but something was bugging her. It probably had to do with those Jan-unecessaries we left behind with that Minos dude.
I couldn’t blame her. I watched over scores of kids as a guardian angel. Too many of them got caught in bad sitches like this one or way worse. And sure, you can suggestify lotsa little kibbles ‘n’ bits in their ears to help get them through it. But that don’t mean they’re gonna listen to you or succeed, even if they do follow your instructions. Some people just never stand a chance. But this was all new for Lils… Being responsiliable for other people can really bowl you over the first few times.
After maybe, I don’t know, half a mile of going down the road, we hit a little hitch. We saw a set of lights in the distance—lights that was getting closer to us. One peek through my telenoculars zoomed in on the party guest… and damn! It was that heavy arm-and-hammered car them kids had told us all about. Even without all the lights covering it, you couldn’t have missed it. That hunka-hunka-burning metal was only slightly less noisy than a shelf of air horns going off all at once. As fast as it flew down a big stretch of nothing, I knew it would roll up on us in no time at all.
Conan took the lead by grabbing me and Lils before shoving us to the ground. Any other time, I’d have been pretty pissed at that. But right then, just thinking about those lights had me so scared, I was ready to shit myself. I did my best to camofade into the background. When the lights got closer, Lils and Tido did the same thing. I held my breath as the car rolled past, without even so much as pumping the brakes. Maybe that was because there weren’t any taillights. Tido got up and started hoofing it across the Blood Plains like only a man-moose can do. Lils and I got up too, only we wasn’t quite so fast but we managed to catch up.
Well, at least I started to catch up. But, pretty soon, I was a couple of steps behind them. Then I was three, five, nine, thirteen steps behind until I just stopped counting. I mean, it’s not like I did the kind of drills Lils liked to do during our downtime. Most of my workout routine only involved one appendage, a certain spot nestled between my legs. Add in the height difference—one Conan could make about three of me—I was reduced to huffing and puffing my way behind him and Nips.
Usually, that was when I liked to say the hell with it before stopping to catch my breath. But this time, I just didn’t care. I mean, I did care, but not about myself. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Blondie tried to worm his way back into Nips’s head and panties just a few minutes ago. I was also thinking that I might actually start to like Tido a little. BUT! I’d rather be vegan or Martian than admit that out loud.
I thought about Poly and Sally too and how they were just as eager to escape from AE as we were. All those unhappy thoughts kept my legs pumping the same way I’d been pumping my other muscle every morning back at the apartment.
I thought my legs would go on strikeout when Tido suddenly benvereened off to the left. Then he grabbed me and like launched me over his neck and onto his broad shoulders like I was one of them heroines in one of them sex novels women like to read so much. I grabbed the hair on the sides of his head to stay on. My lungs were grateful for a short break but they were the only part of my sexy bod that was. The rest of me was totally offended ‘cause no man wants to be swung around some dude’s neck like he’s a fucking girl-scarf!
“Dammit, I can still run, yo!”
“Seein’ yer stride, stookie angel, Ah’d say nae fer mooch longer. An’ we both know that fallin’ behind out here is a right bad idea, aye?”
Dammit, why’d he always make so much sense? “Fine, I’ll let it slide this time. But the second ya pack my ass into a stroller, it’s all-out war.”
The World’s Hairiest Scotsman just laughed at my threat. I thought about making another one but I was too short of breath. So I let that one slide too. Instead, I thought about taking me a nice little nap.
But sleeping weren’t gonna happen ‘cause Tido was like riding on a jackhammer. It didn’t take him long to haul my ass back up next to Nips an’ then it looked like we was having us a little race or something. Going by the huffing and puffing she was blowing, I could only guess all of that heavy chaingang armor was finally too much for her.
“How far do we have left to go?” she asked between brea
ths.
Seeing as I had enough breath to talk again, I answered her. “‘Bout a quarter mile or so, Nips. Sound right, Tido?”
I could feel the big galoot’s head lean forways while he nodded. “Aye, though Ah hafta say that ye might prefer tryin’ tae take on that car that passed us with our blades instead.”
Nips gave us a look, the kind that exwives give their exes when they stop paying alimoney. “Is it… really that… bad?”
I looked over at Lils. Even with her badassery upgrade, she was still such an innocent when it came to the nth degree of bad stuff. “You’ll see fer yerself soon enough. Don’t say ya weren’t warned.”
One thing I wished I could say? That we were headin’ damn near anywhere else.
###
Tallis
Since me twelfth summer, I’ve been nae stranger to battle. I’ve seen the merciless stamp of war in all its savagery long before I ruled the Underground City. There’s been plenty of times when me business gave me cause to see the worst mankind had to offer in the way of fighting folk as well. Those were anything but enjoyable moments. Every time I witnessed the progress, the fighting was more mechanized, and a bit more inhumane than what I’d known. And the generals who gave orders? Far too many of that ilk had never seen a single day or even an hour of battle. Yet they dared to command others to die for their stolen glory. What honor and loyalty did the men and women who struggled in their battles ever get for their sacrifice?
That said, none of that—not one wee bit of it—could come close to the ongoing horror that characterized the Blood Plains. Our first glance down from the plateau upon which we stood was much like I remembered. The flashing artillery shells highlighted the river, Acheron, which ran through the center of the Plains, a natural border for an unnatural conflict. A quartet of bridges spanned the length of Acheron twixt both sides, each one as indifferent to the fighting as Alaire was to the suffering of others.
I didnae think it possible, but me first glance down from our perch seemed to make the unending fight worse than I remembered. The great guns fired off their explosive rounds, ripping people apart in flashes of light and shrapnel. The chattering gunfire was a nearly constant cackle, as all calibers and missiles kept up the rhythm. Agonized howls of the dying floated up to me ears, conveying such pain that I wished I lost me hearing.
But the worst was displayed by the flares that rose to nearly our height, casting a sickly glow over the battlefield. That’s when I clearly saw all the sources of the noise: hand-to-hand combatants with their clashing steel blades, riflemen taking steady aim and multiple shots, machine gunners firing carelessly into ally and foe alike, a stagnant, crimson pool on the ground ever widening, that gave this place its well-earned name. Most of the fighting centered on the four suspension bridges that allowed each side to attack the other. Every once in a while, someone would make a breakthrough before being swiftly pushed back by the side that claimed it as their home territory.
As the flaring lights faded, I turned away. Dear Morrigan but it was too much, far too much for even a seasoned warrior like me to stomach. Aye, I killed, tortured, and maimed others who stood against me. But it was always for a purpose, a goal, something worth the price I paid. This? This was sheer killing for the sake of the killing, and naething more. And for some reason, I no longer had any tolerance for it.
Leave it to Besom to spot me distress first. “Tallis, what is it?”
The horror I felt in me bones from the sights ran too deep for me to speak. All I could do was glance back at the slaughter below, shuddering at the sight and shaking me head as I once again looked away. Bran, why did me nerves snap now, of all times?
Having already set the angel back on the ground, I looked down at him when I asked, “That bridge beyond the river bend… do it still stand?”
He just squinted hard as he stared at the far end of the Plains. When he looked back at me, he said, “Yeah it’s still there. That tank upfront’s probably the only reason why.”
Besom was still giving me a wary eye. “They’re trying to rush that one too?”
“Hell no, Nips! That place is as empty as a john’s wallet after a hooker date. They’re staying way off from all that.”
I swallowed hard. “Would that they’d do the same fer us.”
The angel jabbed me thigh. “Yeah, well, hate to break it to ya, Conan, but if we’re gonna git ta where we needs ta git, that’s the only highway to it.”
A surge of anger exploded from me guts. “Ah know, stookie angel! Ah’m nae as stupid as ye like tae think Ah am!”
Seeing the reins of me temper flying off willy-nilly was enough to make the stookie angel back up with his hands raised. “Hey, chill, yo! The stupidest thing ya could be after lookin’ at that is a fraidy-cat, y’know?”
Besom, Lleu love her, gently turned me ’round and held me close. “You never did answer me, Tallis… what’s wrong?”
I didnae know how to reply. Truth be told, I didnnae want to know. So I just said the first thing that popped into me head. “Afore, Ah’d naethin’ ta lose,” I started as I brought me fingers to her lovely face and traced down her cheek. “Now, Ah do.”
The smile she gave me was reflected in the light of the exploding shells, showing me she wasnae fooled. “That’s sweet but I think there’s more to it. Am I right?”
Leave it to Besom to know me more than I knew meself. I was quiet for a few seconds as I weighed the angst in me head. That’s when I realized the other major change I noticed of late. “Donnchadh… this be the first time Ah’m lookin’ at this travesty without him inside me.”
The fear of something much worse than death seized me at hearing me own words. Saying them out loud was like admitting weakness. And even if I was admitting as much to the only two people I trusted, I’d always been taught that trust was the first step in being defeated by one’s enemies.
To me surprise, the angel interjected a thoughtful question as he tugged me wrist. “So yer thinkin’ that havin’ Big Red around was what kept ya from feelin’ the full force o’ the Grand Gouge-Em-All down there?”
Since he knew enough to ask, I might as well answer. “Well, it makes sense, aye? Any sort o’ fight, bloodshed or cruelty were just what Donnchadh thirsted fer. Guilt or innocence meant naethin’ tae him so long as he could indulge in his favorite pastime.” I looked back at the battle again and forced meself to keep looking by sheer will power. “If ever the true horror o’ his nature embodied a physical shape, all that down below would surely be what it looked like.”
The angel’s grip went from me wrist to me hand so he could squeeze it. “Well, if this was Big Red’s idea of a party, I’m way glad he’s outta yer system, yo.” Then he looked around and pointed with his other hand. “Yers too, Lils.”
I gave him a tight smile I didnae feel as I once again looked away. “Well an’ good, stookie angel, but now Ah’m just left with meself.”
As I said those words, Lily walked around to me front. She gave me biceps a quick squeeze before pulling them down low enough for her to give me hairy cheek a kiss. “Hey, don’t tell me you think Bill’s wrong that Donnchadh being out of you is a good thing.”
I shook me head. “Naught… he were a bastard that earned his place among his fellow Spites in the Urn. With all we did together, Ah’m nae sorry ta be rid o’ him.” I felt me throat squeeze me vocal chords tightly before I could force out me next words. “Boot now that Ah’ve seen what we shall soon confront, which Ah must do as a mere man, Ah’m wonderin’ if Ah’m strong enough.”
There, me worst dread was said at last, exposing me weakness to them—these two who had always relied on me to carry them through. What would they think of me now?
The angel squinted at me hard. “Ain’t ya a little too old ta be havin’ a mid-life crisis, yo?”
Something made me break out in a fit of laughter. Me laughs were loud and long, threatening to split me sides. But by Cailleach, did it ever feel good! Anywhere else, I’d be more t
han a-feared of being discovered. Only here, in this place, could as much noise as I was making be drowned out by the incessant gunfire below.
When I finished laughing, the stookie angel appeared a wee bit surprised. “Damn, Tido, I didn’t think it was that funny.”
The laughter over, I looked at both of them. “Ye both gotta agree that this is—”
Besom cut me off by grabbing the back of me neck and giving me a fast but passionate kiss on the lips. I opened me mouth to speak again but she stopped me with a finger on me lips.
“Whatever you were going to say, no, I don’t have to agree to anything. Donnchadh didn’t teach me the blade. He didn’t guide me through the first few Circles of the Underground City. And he sure as hell didn’t find me when Persephone was inside me. You did.”
For reasons I cannot fathom, I looked at the angel for support. He spread his arms and shook his head. “Don’t look at me. We both know she’s right, yo.”
Besom finally released me, only to take me hands in hers. “Best lesson you ever taught me is how to outsmart your opponents, not overpower them. So how do you think we can outsmart this crowd?”
I opened me mouth once again but Besom did naething to stop me this time. I was hushed by the utter silence from below. I had to see for meself and me eyes confirmed what me ears were hearing. The fighting stopped while we were talking. Lily took in a sharp breath as her eyes glittered with wonder.
“What? Did they suddenly call a cease-fire?”
Damned if a smile weren’t splitting me lips. “Nae, everyone’s jist too wounded or dead tae keep fightin’. That’ll give us a chance—not a great chance, mind ye, boot a chance—tae git across these accursed plains afore the onslaught resumes.”
There was a path near where we stood, its rough steps leading directly down into the plains. The long, winding road the car took to get up here would have been much easier but it would have taken too long to reach. As we carefully sped down the steps, the angel frowned from his position in the rear and shook his head.
