She had never felt such fear. This brought home to her, in the most brutal and inescapable way, that her actions had consequences.
She had to check as soon as possible, because she needed to know.
She decided to ride the bus to town with the children. She could stop off at the pharmacy and pick up a test, and if she was lucky she might even be able to catch another bus back.
There was no way she could join the family for breakfast. Not the way she felt now, and definitely not after what had happened last night.
She wanted to spend the rest of the day in her room, staring at the necklace Ryan had given her, thinking of the words he’d whispered to her the previous night, and trying to convince herself that everything was going to be OK. She couldn’t bear anything to shatter the fragile hope she’d regained.
Slowly, Cassie got dressed, made sure there was some money in her coat pocket, and joined the children outside when it was time to catch the bus.
She hadn’t thought she would see them today at all and it felt strange to be continuing as normal, when she had imagined she would be holed up in a guesthouse and planning her escape from town.
“Are you coming with us?” Madison asked curiously, as Cassie took money out of her purse when the bus approached.
“I’m going to a shop,” she said.
“Who’s going to pick us up from school?” Madison asked after they had boarded the bus.
“I don’t know. I guess your mother will,” Cassie said.
She noticed that Madison didn’t brighten when she said that, as she’d expected her to. Instead she frowned.
“Mum said she was going away.”
Cassie’s heart leaped.
This was it, at last—the moment that Ryan had promised and that she’d been waiting for. Hope surged in her as she realized that there was an end in sight to this living hell, and that it would be sooner than she’d expected.
He hadn’t lied.
That necklace had come with a proper certificate, saying that the diamonds were genuine. You didn’t give genuine diamonds to somebody unless you cared. After all, diamonds were forever. They were a symbol of true love.
“Then I guess I’ll pick you up,” she said to Madison.
“Yay.” Madison’s face brightened.
Cassie felt confused, wondering if she had misinterpreted the young girl’s behavior all along. Could it be that Madison was upset about her mother being home?
For now, she had bigger worries on her plate, and her nausea flooded back as she remembered why she was heading to town.
To be pregnant now would be an absolute catastrophe.
In the pharmacy, Cassie searched for a while without success before realizing that the tests were behind the counter, where she would have to ask for them. That meant she had to wait until the shop was empty of customers. Then she sidled up to the pharmacist.
“Please, could I have a pregnancy test?” she asked.
“What kind, love?”
Cassie didn’t know. She wasn’t aware there were different kinds. Surely pregnancy was pregnancy?
“The cheapest one will be fine,” she said.
She paid for it hurriedly and stashed the box inside her coat.
The bus was only due in an hour, so Cassie walked back, feeling better after being out in the fresh, crisp air. Even so, as she approached the house, her nervousness about the pregnancy test returned.
As soon as she got into the house, she rushed to the bathroom.
From down the corridor, she heard Ryan’s voice, filled with concern and understanding.
“Are you all packed up, Trish, love? You have everything?”
Hope buoyed her as she heard his words. It was happening. After a rollercoaster ride where she’d started believing her happiness was false and her reality was based on lies, it was all unfolding as Ryan had promised.
She locked herself in the bathroom and opened the box with shaking hands. This was the only thing that could still complicate the situation. Cassie prayed that it was a false alarm, and her sudden nausea had been due to stress, or else just a stomach bug.
She read the instructions carefully before squatting over the toilet, holding the test clumsily in her unsteady hand.
At that moment there was a loud knock on the bathroom door.
“Cassie?” Ryan called, sounding anxious. “You in there?”
In her fright, Cassie dropped the test stick into the toilet bowl.
She fumbled for it in a panic.
“Cassie?” Ryan called again.
“Yes, I’m here. I’ll just be a moment.”
What an embarrassing disaster. She dried the stick as best she could with toilet paper before trying again. The test had said wait two minutes, but she couldn’t keep Ryan waiting.
Since she couldn’t exactly come out holding it, she wrapped it up in more tissue and hid it in the bathroom cupboard.
Then, feeling sick with nerves and anticipation, she opened the door.
“Good morning, Cassie.”
Ryan sounded as cheerful as ever, and she picked up from his formal tone that Trish was nearby.
She waited, heart pounding, for him to announce the news that Trish was leaving.
Then he looked around.
“Ah, darling, you’re all set?”
Trish walked past, carrying an outsize shoulder bag—but where was her suitcase? This wasn’t the departure that Cassie had expected.
Ryan caught Trish around her waist as she passed and pulled her close for a tender kiss.
Cassie felt her world shatter all over again. What the hell was happening?
Trish looked immaculate as always. Her hair was perfectly blow-dried, and she was wearing navy jeans and a crimson coat.
“See you in the car,” she said, squeezing Ryan’s arm as Cassie gaped in consternation. Her perfume lingered in the air as she passed.
“We’re heading out to the countryside today. A combination of work and play,” Ryan told her, and Cassie couldn’t believe the casual way he announced it.
“We’re going to visit one of the area’s most famous vineyards—with a view to holding one of Trish’s events there. So it’s all tax-deductible research.” Ryan winked at her.
“What about the children?”
“You can use Trish’s car for the school run. Everything’s on the timetable as usual. Here are the keys.”
Ryan handed her the keys to the smart black Volvo.
He glanced behind him, and Cassie realized that he must be checking whether Trish was watching.
Then he leaned close to her and whispered in her ear.
“Everything will be OK. I promise you. This is the last hurdle. I need you to trust me, Cassie.”
He hand cupped her face, and before she could summon the strength she needed to push him away, he kissed her, deep and lingering.
“My beautiful,” he whispered.
Cassie could smell Trish’s perfume on his skin.
As Ryan walked away, Cassie wanted to vomit. Her nausea flooded back and she swallowed hard, leaning against the wall.
She was about to run into the bathroom and try to throw up in the hope it would make her feel better, when she realized that Ryan and Trish hadn’t yet left. They seemed to be having an altercation outside—or at any rate, a spirited argument.
Then she heard the click of heels, and Trish marched down the hall toward her.
“Please give me those keys,” she said. “No offense, but I’m not willing to allow anyone except Ryan and me to drive the Volvo. Here are the Land Rover’s keys. You can use it to fetch and carry the kids.”
She held out her hand and Cassie gave her the car keys, accepting the others in return.
A moment later the front door slammed and she heard the purr of the Volvo pulling away.
In the blink of an eye, everything had changed.
Ryan’s reassurances seemed worthless now. Her sense of security had evaporated and she knew that deeply, in
stinctively, she had never believed his version.
She was back where she’d been the previous day.
The only difference was that she now had the additional worry that she might be pregnant, which made her predicament a thousand times worse.
Cassie headed back to the bathroom and unwrapped the pregnancy test. Her hands were so shaky that she almost dropped it again.
Taking a deep breath and steeling herself for the worst, she stared down at the test.
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
Peering at the window of the pregnancy test, Cassie frowned.
According to the instructions, there should be either one or two lines in the window. One would mean she was not pregnant and two would mean she was.
Instead, the window was gray and blurred and there were no lines visible at all. It shouldn’t be like that, and it must mean that the test had malfunctioned.
Cassie let out a gasp of frustration.
She’d messed it up by dropping it in the toilet bowl, and now she would have to go back and buy another test. She could do it on the way to fetch the children. Probably, she should buy two, just in case, because she couldn’t keep going back to the damned pharmacy. This was a small town and people would remember her. Cassie could imagine the gossip.
“The girl with the auburn waves came back three times for tests. Three times! I’m sure I’ve seen her in town before. Who does she work for?”
Cassie felt shredded by stress. She hadn’t realized how much Ryan’s support had meant until it had been torn away. Now she was entirely alone. There was nobody she could talk to or trust, and she couldn’t hold back the tears.
She lay prone on the bed and sobbed. She was roused a few minutes later by the ringing of the landline.
She climbed off the bed, scrubbing her eyes as she made her way to the hall.
“Hello, Ellis residence,” she said.
“Is that Mrs. Ellis?”
“No—no. She’s just left. It’s Cassie speaking. Can I help you?”
“It’s the school secretary phoning. We’ve had a small fire break out in one of the classrooms, due to an electrical short. Nobody has been hurt and the fire is under control, but there’s a lot of smoke in the building. We’re calling to ask you to collect your children immediately. School will be closed tomorrow while we effect the repairs and ensure the air quality complies with the required standards.”
“All right. I will.”
“Your promptness will be appreciated. Thank you, ma’am.”
Damn, Cassie thought. So much for purchasing the next pregnancy test at her leisure. She’d have to ask the children to wait in the car while she ran in and grabbed it.
She wondered if she should tell Ryan about the fire and decided to wait until the children were home. When she checked her phone as she was about to leave the house, she was astonished to find a text from him.
“We’ve decided to make our trip an overnight stay. You can expect us back late tomorrow. Thanks—R.”
Overnight stay?
Cassie’s jaw clenched so hard as she read the words, she thought her teeth might break.
This wasn’t ending things. Quite the contrary. From this text it was clear that Ryan and Trish’s relationship was business as usual, and the lighthearted message was just rubbing her face in it.
“Screw you, you bastard,” she muttered as she put her phone away, remembering that these were the exact words that Harriet had spat at Ryan on her way out.
Cassie realized there was no worse feeling than being the victim of a serial liar. It had annihilated her self-worth and left her feeling cheap and completely disposable. She wondered if she would ever be able to trust again, after having been deceived so badly.
*
Outside the school’s entry gate, it was organized chaos. Two traffic police had been deployed to manage the influx of cars. A fire engine was still parked outside the building, even though Cassie could see no smoke or flames.
Dylan and Madison ran over to the Land Rover and seemed pleased that she was behind the wheel.
“We had such fun, Cassie,” Madison said. “We didn’t get to do any lessons today. It was thrilling. It was a real fire drill, for a real fire.”
“The fire started in our classroom. There was so much smoke, we could hardly see the door,” Dylan added.
“That sounds exciting, but a fire is always serious so I’m glad you’re OK and that you stayed calm. We’re going to stop by the pharmacy on the way as I need to pick up something.”
She was able to find a parking space just around the corner.
“I won’t be a minute,” she told the children before rushing inside.
The attendant recognized her.
“Back again?” she asked as Cassie gritted her teeth.
“The test didn’t work. I messed it up. I need another, please.”
“How long is it since your missed period?” the attendant asked, turning to the boxes.
“I—er.” Cassie’s mind whirled and for a moment she couldn’t remember. “No, I haven’t missed it yet. It’s due in a couple of days, but I’ve been feeling sick and wanted to make sure.”
“You want the early detection one, then. It should give results as early as five days before your period. There are two brands here—which one?”
“Whichever’s cheaper,” Cassie said faintly.
The woman slid the box across the counter.
To her horror, Cassie noticed that Dylan had come into the shop. He was standing nearby looking at something on the shelves and she had no idea how much he’d overheard.
She started shaking, fumbling the coins and dropping a pound coin so that she had to scrabble for it on the floor.
Dylan walked over to the counter.
“Could you buy me something for my throat? It’s sore from the smoke.”
“Yes, yes, of course.”
Cassie turned back to the attendant, praying the woman wouldn’t mention the pregnancy test, or recognize Dylan.
She saw her frown, as if she were trying to place him.
“Were you in the class with the fire? We’ve already had two others come in complaining of sore throats. I recommend these tablets and this syrup.”
She pushed a packet and a bottle across the counter.
“They should sort you out, soothe your throat, manage the pain and any coughing, and you’ll be as good as new tomorrow.”
“What about that one?” Dylan asked, pointing to a product high on the shelf behind her.
“Which one?” The woman turned and, after a few false tries, found the packet Dylan was indicating.
“Oh, no, love, those are straight painkillers. The syrup I gave you actually contains painkillers, as well as chest decongestants. So the syrup is better.”
“OK, thanks.”
Cassie paid for the medications and left the shop, and the chatty attendant, as quickly as she could. As soon as she got to the car, she opened the lid in the central console and quickly stashed the bag with the pregnancy test inside.
She drove home, with the children still rehashing what had clearly been the most exciting school day of their lives, and decided it would be better to leave the test in the car and come back for it later in the evening. That way, the children wouldn’t notice.
Cassie went straight to the kitchen and pulled together an early lunch for the children, since Dylan’s medication had to be taken with food.
She felt exhausted by the stress of the day and still in utter disbelief that Ryan could have sent her that text; such a blatant confession that he’d lied, and had no intention of leaving his wife.
Cassie was starting to suspect that he’d strung her along in order that she would willingly fit in with the plans he’d already made with Trish.
The fact her car was disabled hadn’t helped either. If the car had been drivable, Cassie was sure she would have left by now. She wouldn’t be stranded here, needing to wait till it was fixed.
Thinking about
the car, Cassie felt like kicking herself. Last night, when Ryan was giving her gifts and whispering those meaningless sweet nothings in her ear, she could have asked him about it. Instead of empty promises, she could have had actual information on the progress of her car’s repairs.
“Lunch is ready,” she called to the children.
She hurried to the bathroom, but as she walked in she stopped dead.
Cassie felt dizzy with confusion. She must be going mad, and starting to do things without remembering them, because right there, on the bathroom counter, was a pregnancy test.
This was insane. How could she have brought it inside and left it out in full view on the counter? She remembered putting it away in the car’s cubbyhole and being careful not to open it as she hadn’t wanted the children to see.
Now here it was—but looking more closely, Cassie saw it wasn’t.
This was the more expensive version, the better of the two brands, the one she hadn’t chosen. There was no logical way that this item should be here at all.
She jumped as behind her, Dylan spoke, his voice filled with triumph.
“I stole it for you,” he said.
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
Cassie dropped the test on the counter and whirled round to face Dylan, appalled.
“What? You did what? Dylan, this is insanity! How did you—”
He stood in the doorway, smiling slightly, looking completely unfazed.
“I heard you asking for it and saying that the last one hadn’t worked. So I stole you another one. I’ve been practicing. You see, I used misdirection so that you and the attendant looked at the top shelf. Then you weren’t noticing my hands, so I grabbed a test for you. It was easy, really.”
Madison spoke from behind Dylan.
“Move over. I can’t see. What’s happening? What did you do?”
Cassie clapped her hand over her mouth as Madison pushed into the doorway next to Dylan.
“Did you steal something else?” she asked.
Her gaze focused on the pregnancy test, even as Cassie snatched it up.
Almost Lost Page 18
