He didn’t reply, so she stopped walking and turned to face him. He paused as well, and though he turned toward her, he didn’t make eye contact with her. He was hiding something. She knew it.
She waited until a couple passed them before she said, “One thing I appreciated most about you was your honesty. I was never led into believing we had a love match, and I’m content with that because of it. What I can’t be content with is dishonesty. So, I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to tell me the truth. What are you doing this evening?”
“I’m going to play cards with Lord Edon.”
His answer came much too fast, and whether he was aware of it or not, his eyes flickered with guilt. She paused for a long moment as she took in the realization that he wasn’t going to tell her the truth. He was going to stick to this ridiculous story of playing cards with other gentlemen.
She didn’t know what to do about this. If she couldn’t get the truth out of him, how was she going to find out what it was?
“I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you,” Nick said, his voice soft.
Then why are you lying to me? The question remained on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask it. For one, she wouldn’t get an honest answer, so it was pointless to ask. And two, if she let him know she didn’t believe him, he might figure out a way to lie better next time, which would make it harder to detect it. Right now, she had an advantage. It wasn’t necessarily an advantage she wanted to have, but it was one she had all the same.
“How long do you plan to play cards in the evening with your friends?” she finally asked.
“I’m not sure,” he replied.
“Will you be playing cards with them when Ladies of Grace is hosting the ball at Sir Tristan Blakemoor’s residence?”
“No. I’ll be there for the ball.”
She studied him. Well, at least he was telling the truth about that. Just because their marriage wasn’t turning out the way she had hoped it would, it didn’t take away from her need to help Ladies of Grace restore its good name. That was the reason she married him. She would have to focus on that. She couldn’t let her feelings get in the way of doing what was right for the group. She wasn’t in love with anyone when she agreed to marry him, and she didn’t need to be in love now. She could live very well without love. A lot of people married for convenience and lived their entire lives that way.
“All right,” she said. “As long as you’re at the ball, then you can play cards,” or whatever else, “any night you want.”
Deciding she’d had enough of this conversation, she continued on their walk. She had been looking forward to spending the day with him when she woke up this morning, but once he told her he’d have to be gone again for the evening, all of her enthusiasm had diminished. Now, she just wanted to get back to the townhouse.
“Are you upset with me?” Nick asked, hurrying to keep up with her.
She bit her tongue. Did he really expect her to be happy when he was lying to her? It wasn’t her fault that he had to battle with his guilt.
“Tara?” he pressed.
She sighed. “I just hope that whatever you’re doing, it won’t lead to any regrets.”
That was the most she could offer him. She couldn’t stop him from doing what he wanted to do, so she wasn’t going to try. She took a deep breath and released it.
He seemed as if he wanted to say something, but then he decided against it. They continued the rest of the way home in silence.
***
“You just might finish this room tonight,” Lord Maten said as Nick set the soapy bucket on the ballroom floor. “I warned you there was a lot to do in here.”
Ignoring the sore muscles in his arms, Nick straightened up and faced Tara’s brother. “I can’t come over here two evenings from now. There’s a ball I promised Tara that I’d take her to.”
“You mean the silly little ball at Blakemoor’s that she believes is all she’ll need to host in order to get the Ton to love Ladies of Grace again?”
“The ball is important to her.”
“Anything that has to do with Ladies of Grace is important to her. Her entire focus has always been on that group. She’d do anything for it. I suppose it’s to be expected she would insist you join her. It’s not like she can show up on her lover’s arm.”
“She doesn’t have a lover.”
Lord Maten chuckled. “Not yet.”
The footman came into the room, so Lord Maten shooed Nick over to the bucket. Lord Maten followed the footman out of the room. Nick went to the bucket and rolled up his sleeves. No one would believe a duke had to resort to cleaning another person’s townhouse. He wished he’d been able to pay those other gentlemen off instead of having to serve Lord Maten.
He should have asked Tara if he could have paid the debt off before running off to Gretna Green. Lord Maten had used that time to track down his father’s creditors.
But she probably would have said no. She had to make sure he wasn’t going to take the money and not fulfill his part of the bargain. If only he knew Lord Maten was one of the people he had to pay…
He went to the broom and swept the floor. Tonight, he would wash the entire floor, and Lord Maten was insistent he do it with the rag in the bucket once he finished sweeping it.
He tried not to think about his conversation with Tara at the park, but it bothered him. He was sure she knew he was lying to her. He wasn’t completely sure, but he was almost certain of it. And who could blame her? A couple of evenings with some friends playing cards was understandable, but this had been going on for almost a week.
He had no idea what other excuse he could use. He didn’t want to claim he was gambling, and he didn’t belong to a gentleman’s club. If he told her he was just going “out”, she’d think he was with a mistress, and that would be worse than anything else he could come up with.
“Your Grace,” Lord Maten called out.
Nick stopped sweeping and glanced at the doorway, surprised to see Lord Maten with Lady Halpenny, a middle-aged blonde, on his arm. Nick tried not to show his shock. Lady Halpenny was one of Lady Cadwalader’s friends, and she was twice Lord Maten’s age. Lord Maten whispered something in her ear that made her giggle before he kissed her—right on the mouth…and right in front of him.
Nick looked away. He didn’t know if this embarrassed Lady Halpenny, but it sure embarrassed him. Lord Maten’s footsteps echoed in the ballroom as he approached Nick. Nick dared another glance at him and was relieved to see that the lady was waiting near the doorway.
“By now, I trust you know how to clean in order to meet my standards,” Lord Maten said. “I’m going to be preoccupied with other things this evening.” He gave the lady a wink then turned his attention back to Nick. “Poor thing. Her husband bores her so easily. She needs a little more enthusiasm in the bedchamber, if you know what I mean.” He shot Nick a pointed look. “I happen to enjoy the more mature ladies. They know exactly what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.”
“I don’t care what you do with your personal time,” Nick replied then turned back to sweeping the floor.
“You may not care what I do with mine, but you should care what my sister does with hers. When she grows bored of you, she’ll be coming to someone like me. After all, it’s not like she loves you.”
Nick gritted his teeth. Every single night he came to clean this place, Lord Maten made it a point to tell him Tara wouldn’t always want to be with him. Nick knew he did it to mess with him, and responding only amused him, so Nick had to clench his teeth—hard—in order to keep quiet. If he failed to give Lord Maten what he wanted, the gentleman would eventually stop taunting him…or at least, that was his hope.
Lord Maten chuckled. “We both know it’s just a matter of time before your marriage comes crumbling down around you, but that’s what you get when you marry someone for money.”
Nick kept on sweeping.
Thankfully, Lord Maten left h
im and went over to Lady Halpenny. Nick breathed a sigh of relief. As much as he didn’t want to be privy to another person’s private life, he was glad that she would be with Lord Maten tonight since it meant Lord Maten wouldn’t be watching him clean until one or two in the morning. Nick would finally get some peace for a change.
“Oh,” Lord Maten called out. “One more thing, Your Grace.”
Reluctant, Nick stopped sweeping and turned to face Lord Maten, who had his arm wrapped around Lady Halpenny’s waist.
“Since you won’t be coming by to work off your debt two evenings from now,” Lord Maten began, “I expect you to stay here until five in the morning tonight and tomorrow night.”
“You can’t mandate that,” Nick replied, his anger surfacing.
“You’re the one who owes me four hundred and eighteen pounds. You’re not in the position to tell me what I can or can’t mandate.”
Nick gripped the broom in his hand so hard he thought it might break.
“After the ball, you can go back to your regular hours,” Lord Maten said in a tone that indicated he was doing Nick a favor by even letting him go to the ball in the first place.
Nick forced himself to get back to work.
“He won’t tell anyone I spent the evening here, will he?” Nick heard Lady Halpenny ask Lord Maten.
“He wouldn’t do that any more than you’d tell anyone he’s cleaning up my townhouse,” Lord Maten replied. “He’s been forbidden to tell anyone he’s working off his debt this way. You have nothing to worry about.”
The two left, leaving Nick all to himself. If Nick could afford to do it, he’d take this opportunity to grab all of the trash he could find and dump it all over the floor. Maybe for good measure, Nick would take all of the ashes from the fireplace in the kitchen and smear them all over the walls. Then when Lord Maten returned, Nick would be long gone, and he’d really have a filthy ballroom.
Nick relaxed and a grin crossed his face. As much as he enjoyed the fantasy of making one big mess all over this townhouse while Lord Maten was occupied and the servants were restricted to their quarters, he could never go through with it. Not only would it be wrong, but Lord Maten would send him straight to debtor’s prison. Nick’s hands were tied. He had to do whatever Lord Maten wanted.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy his fantasy, though. Giving in to the urge to think through every wonderful thing he could do to ruin this townhouse, Nick continued sweeping the floor.
***
Tara was awake when Nick opened the door of her bedchamber. She picked up the pocket watch that was next to her in the bed and checked the time in the candlelight. It was 5:30. He’d left at 7:30 the previous evening and was just now coming home. She’d been wondering how late he’d been coming home these past few days, and now she knew.
Nick jerked in surprise when he saw she was awake.
“It’s no wonder that you’ve been sleeping in so late in the mornings,” she said. “You don’t get in until early morning.”
In the candlelight, it was hard to tell if he was blushing from embarrassment or not, but she did catch the apprehension in his expression. He closed the door, and instead of coming over to her, he remained by the door.
“I enjoy playing cards,” he finally said. “Once I get into the game, it’s hard to leave.”
So he was still going to insist on lying to her. Well, she supposed she could play along, if for no other reason than to see what he’d say. “Maybe you and I can play cards tonight. I know the rules of most games.”
He gave a momentary wince before he straightened up. “It wouldn’t be the same as playing with other gentlemen.”
“Why not? A lady can play a card game as well as a gentleman can.”
“Yes, I know, but there’s a certain,” he cleared his throat, “camaraderie between gentlemen when they play cards. It makes for a fun evening.”
“Are you saying you don’t have fun with me?”
“No, I’m not saying that. It’s just different with them.”
She bet it was. And she also bet he wasn’t really playing cards. He was probably sharing a bed with another lady, and this lady probably satisfied him in ways she couldn’t.
Her cheeks grew hot. She was such a fool. She should never have thought that he was going to stop going to other ladies’ beds just because he married her. Sure, he was trying to be discreet by lying about it. That’s all anyone in the Ton ever asked of people—that they be discreet.
But she wasn’t a simpleton. She knew what London was like. She’d watched her father and her brother make excuses so they could spend time with ladies. She just didn’t expect it to hurt so much when her own husband did it to her. Then again, she hadn’t expected to fall in love with him. Love was never supposed to factor into the agreement they’d made.
“Are you upset with me?” Nick asked.
While she didn’t like being lied to, she couldn’t be completely upset with him. She was also upset with herself for growing attached to him. This was as much her fault as it was his.
“I’m having my lady’s time of month,” she finally said. “I have cramps. I’d rather be alone.”
This time she was the one who lied, and as much as she hated herself for it, she couldn’t bring herself to be any more vulnerable to him than she already was. She turned her back to him and pulled the blanket up to her head so he wouldn’t see her tears. Stupid tears. She hated it when she cried. Crying was a sign of weakness, and of all things, she didn’t want to be weak.
After what seemed like an abnormally long time, she heard him leave her bedchamber. She should feel better. But for some reason, she only felt worse. She buried her face in the blanket and cried harder.
Chapter Nineteen
“I’m so excited,” Cress said as she twirled around in the drawing room. “I feel like a princess in this gown.”
Nick’s mother chuckled. “I think you’re going to have a wonderful evening.”
Augusta smiled at her sister, and Nick noticed the wistful look in her eyes. “You’re going to have so much fun at the ball. You’ll tell me everything that happens when you get back, won’t you?”
“She’ll tell you everything tomorrow,” his mother told her. “She, Nick, and Tara will be home late.”
Though Augusta sighed in disappointment, she accepted the answer.
“Tomorrow morning will come soon enough,” Nick said, hoping to ease some of her disappointment. “Besides, all that really happens at a ball are dancing and talking. There’s not much more to it than that.”
Cress clasped her hands together in excitement. “I can’t wait to dance. Tara spent the past three days teaching me everything I need to know so I don’t fall on my face.”
“You were always a graceful child,” Nick’s mother said. “You won’t fall on your face.”
“I won’t now that I know the steps,” Cress replied.
“I suppose there is something to be said for feeling more confident about dancing when you’ve practiced the steps to the dances over and over.” She looked at Nick. “Tara was very kind to devote so much time in teaching Cress what she needs to do for this evening.”
Nick nodded. Tara was kind. She was also generous and fun and desirable. Any gentleman would want her. He swallowed. If only she loved him, then he wouldn’t have to worry about gentlemen like Lord Maten who were more than willing to take a married lady to his bed.
“Tara, you have wonderful taste in gowns,” Cress said as she hurried to the doorway of the drawing room.
Nick turned to Tara and watched as Cress gave her a hug. Nick hadn’t seen much of Tara in the last two days. Part of it was the fact that he had to stay up until six in the morning cleaning up the attic of her brother’s townhouse. When he came home, he ended up sleeping in his own bed since Tara had made it clear that he wasn’t welcome in her bedchamber.
He didn’t wake up until early afternoon, and by that time, Tara was teaching Cress everything she needed to
know about ballroom etiquette. The only time they got to spend any time together was during dinner, and it seemed to him that she focused in on his mother and sisters so that she wouldn’t have to talk to him.
He couldn’t blame her. He knew how bad things looked. If she was spending all of her evenings away from the townhouse, he would think she didn’t want to be with him. A couple of times he was tempted to confide in her that Evermont was her brother and that he was working off the debt. He’d gone to her bedchamber after he’d finished getting ready for the ball to tell her the truth, but when he tried to open the door, it was locked. When he knocked on it, she didn’t answer it.
That might have been for the best. If he told her and she confronted her brother, her brother would haul him right off to debtor’s prison. He’d rather be with her even if she wasn’t happy with him. At least he’d get to spend the evening with her at the ball. Perhaps he’d get a dance or two with her. Something, no matter how small, was better than nothing.
“I hope this ball will help your group,” Nick’s mother told Tara, breaking him out of his thoughts.
He glanced over at Tara, who was absolutely beautiful in her red gown. He knew most of the evening would be spent mingling with other guests, but he really hoped he’d get a dance or two with her. Maybe if he succeeded in pleasing the influential members of the Ton, she might not be so mad at him. Then maybe they could dance.
Tara smiled at his mother. “As long as nothing unexpected comes up, I think this will be exactly what the group needs. People in London have short memories. By now, the gossip about how Lady Eloise treated Lady Youngtown has died down. That is the greatest advantage we have right now.” She looked at Cress. “Are you ready?”
“I’ve been ready ever since I found out I was getting a chance to go to a ball,” Cress replied in excitement.
Tara turned her attention to Nick. “Are you ready?”
Though she sounded as pleasant as always, he noted that she was on her guard. She was protecting herself from him. She didn’t want to get hurt. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, that he would never do anything to hurt her. But with everyone around, he couldn’t. Maybe there would be a chance to do so later. For now, all he could do was nod and follow her and Cress out of the drawing room.
The Perfect Duke Page 18
