What I don’t tell her is that I want to impress the nanny tonight. I’m planning to put the moves on Jessa.
The lady’s eyebrow goes even higher. “Are you…are you interested in dating her?”
I weigh the question and answer honestly. “I’m not sure I’m in the headspace to date anybody right now. Let alone my nanny.”
So far, what’s going on between Jessa and me has been purely sexual. But Mom is asking me about my intentions for a relationship. And that’s when it strikes me—I don’t want this to just be about sex. But as much as I’d like to play with the idea of something more, I can’t pursue that in good conscience.
“I can’t go there, Ma. I mean what do I really have to offer her? I’m a grumpy, unemployed single dad with a criminal record.”
My mother opens her mouth to rebuff my argument but she stops herself when Callie scampers into the room. I’m grateful for that. I’d rather not have this conversation in front of my impressionable young daughter because the last thing I want is to get her hopes up.
The child sits at the island with her Barbie and Ken dolls along with a little kitchen set. “Nana, doesn’t she look like Jessa?” She affectionately runs a brush through the hair of her brunette doll.
“She does look like Jessa,” my mother agrees, “with all her long, pretty, dark hair.”
“And he looks like Daddy.” Callie adds. “Now that he cut all his beard off.”
I stroke my poor insulted chin. My kid really was not feeling the beard, huh?
My mom looks at the Ken doll. “Y’know what? He does, sweetheart.”
I observe the preppy man doll and cringe. At least I don’t look like a Ken doll in the places where it counts. Between the legs.
“Yeah, this is Jessa, and this is Daddy.” Callie holds up each doll in turn. Then her focus moves back to playing.
My mother and I turn our attention back to the food prep. She gets to work cooking some rice while I whip up a salad. We keep the conversation light and pleasant and I realize that I’ve missed hanging out with her like this.
A few moments later, when I glance over at what Callie is doing, I’m horrified. Barbie and Ken are standing at the stove cooking up plastic eggs and pancakes. And then, out of nowhere, Ken rears his hand back and lands a firm slap on Barbie’s ass.
My mother lets out a gasp.
Callie looks at me over her shoulder with a devious smirk. Christ. My sneaky little demon spawn just ratted me out to my mother.
My eyes meet Ma’s. She looks like she’s about to hyperventilate holding back laughter.
“Ma, it’s not what you think,” I say defensively.
She ignores me, smiling as she wipes her hands on a towel.
“Kids often…misinterpret the things they see.”
She doesn’t answer as she removes her apron.
“We can’t read too much into what children do. Especially young ones like Callie.”
My mother hunches down next to her granddaughter at the table. “Cal, what do you say you and Nana have a sleep over tonight? Just us. Girl time. Does that sound good?”
The tiny, adorable traitor hops off of her stool and starts bouncing around the kitchen. “Yay! I wanna do a sleepover!”
“Run off and grab your pajamas and your backpack, sweetie,” Mom instructs her.
I’m still fighting a losing battle to convince my mother that there’s nothing to see here. “Ma, I don’t know what you think you know but…”
“What I know is that my son has been through one heck of a past few years and now he’s met a really good woman and he likes her and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
When she puts it like that, I don’t know how to build an argument. I don’t know what to say to deny this.
“Enjoy your night, Eli. Make the most of it.” On that, she heads off with Callie to pack up her overnight bag. She stops at the end of the hallway and throws me a pleading look over her shoulder. “And figure this out fast. Please don’t make me wait as long as Walker and Penny did ‘cause that really sucked.”
45
Jessa
I’m practically bouncing with anticipation as I exit my car and hurry up the front porch. After being in Cowersville to keep an eye on my dad for the past two days, I’m more excited than usual to be back at work. To see Callie. And Eli.
But the second I step through the front door, I can tell that something is different.
Eli pokes his head around the corner and grins. “Hey.” He’s barefoot in jeans and a plain black T-shirt with a kitchen towel slung over his wide, sturdy shoulder when he pads toward me. He’s ridiculously handsome.
Just looking at him gets my tongue all tied up. I slip my purse off my shoulder and casually set it down at my feet, trying not to look as dazzled as I feel. “Hi.”
“Let me help you with that,” Eli says when I start to shrug out of my jacket.
He circles behind me and his fingertips lightly skim my collarbone as he lifts the lapels off my shoulders. His larger-than-life presence engulfs me as he carefully slides the sleeves down my arms.
And wowzers—that was sexy.
After hanging the jacket on the hook, his hand falls lightly to my hip. “D’you have a good time with your parents?”
I nod. That’s all I can manage because the butterflies have left my stomach and now they’re in my throat and I’m scared that if I open my mouth, some totally inappropriate offer will come flying out.
Will you marry me?
Would you like to father my offspring?
Could I interest you in a blowjob, at the very least?
That third option might not be such a bad idea, to be honest.
At the last second, I decide to go with a less hoochilicious conversation starter. “Wow, it smells great in here.” I glance toward the kitchen.
Eli’s arm slides around my waist and he leads me in that direction. “We've got chicken curry on the menu tonight.” He hovers near the stove.
Both of my eyebrows jerk up as I enter the kitchen. I lift the lid off the skillet simmering low on the burner. “Ooh! That's very grown-up.” Typically, dinner in this house is along the lines of defrosted chicken nuggets or canned ravioli, especially on the nights when Eli’s in charge of cooking. I crinkle a brow. “Do you want me to whip up something separate for Callie?”
Visibly growing uncomfortable, Eli clears his throat. “Callie isn't here. She's with my parents.” He jams his hands into his pockets. Then he plants them on his hips. Then he lets one loose by his side while he drums his fingertips on the counter. All in a three-second time span. Is he nervous about something?
I blink. Nod slowly. “Oh…should I run over there and pick her up?”
Eli flings the towel onto the counter and makes a frustrated sound. “She's not coming back right now. It’s just you and me tonight, Firefly.” He watches me meaningfully.
That’s when I notice it, a low and sensual song pouring in through the speaker sitting on the counter. I glance around. The table is set with pretty china and gleaming utensils. Flowers in a vase. And a small cluster of pillar candles waiting to be lit.
No plastic cups, colorful spoons or kiddie plates tonight.
My stomach tightens. I feel a smile sneak across my lips. “Eli, is this...is this a date?"
His blush is clear as day now that he doesn’t have that big beard to hide behind anymore. The tips of his ears are turning red, too. "I-I guess it is a date. Is that okay?"
My lips twitch beneath my out-of-control smile. “That’s very okay.”
I drape my arms around his waist and we share a short, sweet kiss. When we pull apart, I look up into his gorgeous eyes. “I’d like to take a shower first, though.”
He leans down to sniff my neck. “You smell pretty damn good just the way you are.” He gives me a little bite that wakes my clit right up.
Still, I ease out of his hold. “Eli, I have every intention of putting out on the first date so please give me a minute
to go put on a nice dress and make sure I’m not wearing my Dora the Explorer adult panties.” Trust me—you find some weird shit on Ebay if you hang around there long enough.
He cracks up. “That reminds me—I think I put on my Power Rangers boxers this morning. I should probably swap those for something a bit classier, huh?”
I nod and laugh. “Probably.”
“I’ll pick you up at your door in twenty minutes,” he suggests. “Sounds good?”
“Sounds good.” I smile.
I skip off toward the shower, unable to get the smile off my face. After a quick rinse-down, I hurry into my room and stand in front of my closet. I’ve got to admit that some of my wardrobe choices are kind of horrifying. Flamingo-patterned cap-sleeve dresses. Vegetable-print drawstring capris. Solar system-themed collared dresses.
I’ve built my wardrobe for the role of kindergarten teacher. But tonight, there’s something different on the agenda—seducing the handsome single dad who’s been occupying my thoughts even before he ever laid eyes on me.
I dig deep into my closet and reach for it. My break-glass-in-case-of-emergency dress, as I call it. A ruby red shift dress that clings to my curves, dips low at the neck and shows off my legs with its flirty hem.
I spin around in the mirror to get a rearview. For a split second, I’m tempted to bemoan the fact that my shape isn’t exactly as I’d like it to be. But in that moment, I make a decision. I decide to accept myself as I am, pancake ass and all. I think back to the way Eli marvelled over my body the last time we were together. It’s like he couldn’t find a single flaw. I shiver just thinking about it. And suddenly, it seems like my assets shine brighter in this mirror than my imperfections do. It’s a good feeling.
I decide to skip the panties because I want as few obstacles as possible between me and the end goal—Eli’s cock in my pussy.
Just keepin’ it real.
I don’t have much time to fuss over my hair and makeup so I go for mascara and lipgloss. I tuck my wild hair behind my ears and I hope for the best.
I’m sliding on some earrings when Eli knocks at the door. I inhale deeply to calm myself and I open the door.
The man takes my breath away. He’s wearing a suit again. Navy with a white shirt and a blue striped tie, nothing but blue checkered socks on his feet.
“Wow, you really did go all out.” I scan him shamelessly one more time.
“Hey, it’s a first date. I want to make an impression.” He shrugs.
“Well, you certainly did,” I assure him.
“You look absolutely gorgeous, Jessa.” His gaze sweeps me top to bottom.
“Thank you.” I blush.
He offers me his arm and we walk down the hallway together. Through the window, I see that the sky is considerably darker. Now the candles are lit, flickering in the center of the table.
Eli helps me into my chair at the dining table then he heads into the kitchen to pull our plates from the oven where they’re keeping warm. He fills glasses with wine then he glances around the room like he’s trying to figure out what to do next.
I titter quietly. “You could sit down? Maybe?”
He looks at me and his lips curl into a boyish half-smile. “Right.” He lowers into his seat. “Can you keep a secret?” He grins embarrassedly. “I’m nervous as fuck.”
“Who am I to judge you for having a secret?” I say.
That’s a loaded question. God knows I have secrets of my own. What would he say if he discovered all the things I’m hiding?
That I’ve been researching his case long before we even met?
That I spent months exchanging love letters with him under a false name?
That I’ve got pretty huge doubts he committed the crimes he pled guilty to at his trial?
I just want to understand. I want to understand the parts of his life story that don’t make sense.
I almost say it out loud. I swear I do. Because the deeper I fall for him, the heavier this truth weighs on my chest. But I’m a chicken. And I don’t want to ruin this moment. I’ve dreamed about Eli wanting me for so long and the reality far surpasses anything I ever came up with in my head.
So, I go with something less likely to stir up trouble. “I’m just as nervous as you are,” I say with a smile. I watch the tension relax out of his shoulders.
He smiles. “Dig in,” he coaxes me gently, a look of anticipation on his face.
I plow my fork into the mouthwatering dish and take a bite. “Oh my god. This is really delicious.” The rich flavors virtually crackle on my tongue. “Eli, you knocked this out of the park.”
“I can’t take all the credit. Ma helped,” he confesses.
I giggle. “Is that so?”
He nods. “Even though I was indisputably the best cook behind bars, I figured my prison menu was probably not the best way to impress you. Potato flakes and canned meatballs are not the way to a girl's heart.”
The aforementioned heart skitters in my chest. “You're trying to get into the girl's heart?”
Eli fights a grin and speaks decidedly. “I am. If that's okay with you.”
There’s nothing like a man who knows what he wants. And this man wants me. “That's okay with me,” I whisper and it might just be the paprika in this recipe but my cheeks are flaming.
The conversation flows easily as we go through our dinner and a bottle of red wine. We laugh and banter about our crazy families, about small town life, about dumb fleeting thoughts we’ve had but never dared utter out loud for fear of being committed to an institution. I think everybody has those kinds of thoughts now and then, right?
Anyway, one niggling thought keeps coming up over and over all night—it looks like we’re headed toward a relationship and I don’t want to start it off with lies. I know that Eli is hiding the truth about his case. And god knows I’ve got a heaping pile of secrets of my own.
I clear my throat and grab my lady balls. It’s time to dive into a very important conversation.
“I need to ask you something,” I announce and Eli looks up from his plate.
His expression goes wary. “About?”
“About your wife. Y-your ex-wife,” I dare to say.
He grunts and wipes a palm down his face. “Christ, Jessa. I don't want to talk about her. Especially not tonight.”
I don’t want to be pushy but I need to. Because it feels like we're building something. And I want our foundation to be solid. I need to tell him what my research has dug up. I need to tell him everything. “I want to know you, Eli. As much as I want you to know me.”
“I get it,” he exhales roughly. “You’ve shared your past with me. I appreciate that. But my past isn't like yours.”
“How so?”
“Because the person I hate most is the person who gave me the greatest gift,” he begins, his tone coarse. “The woman I hate most is the person who gave me the little girl who is the center of my world. Gabby gave birth to my daughter, then she turned her back on both of us. Do you know how fucking confusing that is?”
“Those emotions will never make sense if you don't face them,” I tell him.
“Fine,” he grits out. “I’ll face them. One day. But not today, and not with you hovering over my shoulder.” He flinches at his own words. “Sorry, I'm being an incredible asshole right now.” He scrubs a hand along his jaw. “Look, if I'm going to open up to anyone, it's going to be you but just...just not right now. Give me time…” He offers a meek expression. “Please?"
Reluctantly, I concede. “Fine.”
He exhales heavily and reaches for my hand. “The truth is…I…I like you. A lot.”
“I like you, too. A lot.” Our fingers naturally intertwine.
He lifts my hand and places a kiss on my knuckles. “I just want tonight to be special.”
“It is,” I assure him. “It’s incredibly romantic.”
Eli gives me a sex-hooded stare from across the table. He crooks his finger at me. “Come here.” I round the
table and he pulls me into his lap. “Give me kisses?”
Smiling, I brush my lips to his and we get lost together for a few sweet moments.
He looks at me, his brown eyes flickering in the candlelight. “You’re Callie’s nanny. I don’t take my involvement with you lightly. I know what’s at stake. I wouldn’t risk it if I weren’t serious about you.”
“What are you saying, Eli?” I need to be clear. I don’t want to misread his intentions.
His forehead furrows. “I want to be with you. Fuck, do I want to be with you, Jessa. But I don’t know how to be Prince Charming. I can’t give you some…some Hallmark romance.” He drops his head and shakes it like this whole conversation is ridiculous.
Gently, I lift his chin, forcing him to look at me. “Just give me your heart,” I beg softly. “I don’t care what condition it’s in. Just give me your heart.”
Now, we’re kissing, hard and passionate and deep. Eli picks me up and carries me to the bedroom.
When he sets me on my feet beside the bed, my hands reach blindly for his jacket. I wrestle him out of it as his fingers disappear beneath my dress and his lips dance up my neck. Then, I’m in full-on combat mode against his tie. I accidentally tug on the wrong bit and end up pulling the fabric tighter instead of setting him free.
He makes a gagging sound as he dramatically collapses to the bed, pulling me down beside him. “Can’t…breathe…” He exaggerates, pretending to choke.
My horrified gasp is overtaken by my giggles. “Oh god. Sorry. I’m so sorry.” Turning onto my side to face him, I run a hand down his strong chest. “I’m just really anxious to be with you.”
He strokes my cheek. “I’m here with you, baby. All night. I’m not going anywhere. So…so let’s take our time.”
“Okay…”
“I’ve finally got you to myself and it feels so good not having to rush.” He nibbles on my bottom lip, then he sucks it and pulls lightly. “All this time, we’ve had to be quiet, we’ve had to hold back. But tonight, I’ve got you alone. And I want to hear you scream my name.”
Mister Bossy (Bad Boys in Love Book 4) Page 23
