by Anna Bloom
I think I know what he needs.
A friend.
Am I going to be one?
He’s out cold, so I sweep through the house. His father's house it would seem. It doesn’t seem Dan’s style; not that I know him, but I can also see where things are in place, their position almost too perfect. There’s a razor in the bathroom with rusty edges, a robe on the door that’s covered in a thick layer of the dust. I leave the robe, but grab the razors. Opening the mirrored bathroom cabinet, I take out a spare pack of blades, some scissors and eight bottles of painkillers of varying strengths. I can see where he got the meds for his overdose now. Maybe he was legitimately trying to self-medicate. Maybe the coma was an accident. Perhaps not.
No. I knew that wasn’t the case. I could feel it in my bones and so could Dr Findlay.
Popping my head back into his room, I check if he’s still asleep. His snores are filling the air so on the off-chance I pick up the pad of paper on the bedside table where his friend Abi left her number. My phone has the smallest amount of juice left. Thankfully, she picks up on the first ring.
“Hey, it’s Sienna.”
“Oh.”
“I was wondering if I could pop over and talk while Dan is sleeping?”
“You’re still here?”
Oh. “Yeah, I’m working down here. I need to go back to London tomorrow, but I figured I’d check in on him, I called a doctor out.”
There’s a long pause. “You must think I’m a real shitty friend?”
“No! I think he’s a dick, and he’s hurt you. I was wondering though if I could ask a favour?”
“Do you want to come over here?”
“Uh.” Oh. “Uh, I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m on Faith’s case. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” It isn’t at all, I’m lying to your face, but come, anyway. “Can you come here?”
“In an hour. I’ll need Adam to watch the kids. I don’t want them to see Dan like that.”
“Sure. I can understand that.”
She’s about to hang up when I call her back. “Abi.”
“Yes?”
“Can you bring me more clothes? I promise I’ll replace them tomorrow.”
She hesitates just for a moment, probably wondering why I’m not getting the hell out of here… I know I’m wondering too. “Sure thing.”
I smile as she says a phrase similar to what Faith would say.
Putting my phone back in my pocket, I tiptoe back to Dan’s room and begin tidying up. It’s a stinking mess. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad when I stayed only last week. Maybe it was. Maybe I was so desperate for a hook-up I was oblivious… maybe.
Yes, definitely.
Softly and quietly, I clean around him. Dusting and wiping down. Every so often his snores break the silence. I should be working. That’s what Eli is paying me for. And hell, if Faith doesn’t need it. But I think I’ll wait for Abi and get some background info first, and then, when Dan is strong enough, I shall find out everything he knows.
I’m waiting when the doorbell rings and I open it, trying not to let my awkwardness show. “Hey.”
She thrusts me a bag of clothes. “Here, I tried to dig back through my older, skinnier clothes for something that might fit. Although you’ll be best looking in the spare room here to see if any of Faith’s are still here. She’s more your size.”
“Good idea,” I say, but I dismiss it instantly. I think the last thing I should do is wear Faith’s clothes. It would be like setting off a bomb. A Dan bomb.
“I’m just saying this up front. I don’t want to see him. I don’t know what you are still doing here, or even why, but I’m angry with him right now.”
To placate her and stop her from running away, I nod and let her walk in behind me and choose a seat. It’s almost compulsive to offer her a coffee, but I stop myself. I don’t have any milk—rather Dan doesn’t have any milk.
“He seems in a mess.” I fall onto the sofa.
“Why are you here? Seriously? Aren’t you one of Elijah’s friends? We met at Faith’s, didn’t we?”
“Yeah.” I take in a breath, no idea what I’m about to say. “I drove down last night. I’ve got some work to do for Elijah; well, for Faith’s lawyer. So I thought I’d start with Dan as he seems to know so much about what happened here with Faith and Aiden.”
Abi’s face scrunches into a deep frown. “Tell me about it. I always knew they were keeping secrets from me, but now I’m beginning to see the extent of them.”
Aha! This is what I do. I extract information that people don’t even know they are giving me. “Dan said you three were The Three Musketeers.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that was one of Faith’s books, but Dan hooked into the idea.”
I nod, not saying anything.
“I hate the fact they’ve been keeping stuff from me. Like, I don’t know what’s gone on now. It’s kind of hard not to assume that Dan has found out that Faith really has moved on and has had a massive fanny wobble over it.”
“Do you think he tried to kill himself though?”
She shrugs. “I hope not. But he’s been by himself since his dad died and I know he’s taken it hard. Of course he has; he idolised his dad. But I guess maybe watching him fade like that… I’ve tried to be here, but maybe Faith moving on at the same time is too much.”
“It was cancer, right?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes meet mine.
“He’s not a user, is he? I mean, a big guy like that, it’s hard not to wonder.”
“No! God, no! Before Al got sick, he was a health freak. Always at the gym, always working. But since Al… he’s just…” She swipes at her eyes.
“Looks like he’s hurt you too.” I shrug and throw myself back onto the leather sofa.
“Not on purpose. It’s all Aiden’s fault. If Faith’s dad hadn’t hooked up with his mum, none of this would have happened.”
“Faith’s mum’s never been around, has she?” I state my authority on this. I know it anyway, but it helps people talk more when they think they aren’t giving away secrets.
“No.” Another tear falls and my heart hurts for the woman in front of me. Her life couldn’t be more different to mine. She’s happily married with kids, things I just can’t even contemplate; yet here she is devastated by events that have gone on around her. It’s like they have swept her own life up in the tailspin. “You know, for a long time, I thought Faith was just pissed off that her dad had met someone new. What friend am I to think that?”
Another tear. Another squeeze of my heart.
“She was out of control. Dan kept saying there must be something wrong. He couldn’t believe she’d just change, but for a while there I just thought she’d given it up for the party. Drugs, drink, boys. Hell, she went wild.”
Crap. None of this would really help me.
“But then other times she’d still be the same Faith. When I saw her with Al in the shop, she was the girl I’d known all my life.”
“It must have hurt when you found out.”
Gentle sobs fill the air. “Yeah, but Dan, he went nuts. I thought for a while there he would end up in prison. He couldn’t control his rage. When she said she wouldn’t tell anyone. Well, shit.”
“You believed her?”
“The moment she told us; I knew. I just knew. It killed me. I’d let her down. I’d let her down so much.”
A wild impulse to hug Abi makes my arms hurt. “I don’t think you did. And look at her now.”
Abi, “Humphs,” and wipes at her face. “That friend of yours needs to sort his shit out. I can’t believe he’s moved out of their house.”
I hold my hands up. “It’s got nothing to do with me. You know Elijah and I have known each other a long time. Not as long as you Musketeers, but you know what it’s like; people can only let you in if they want to.”
She wipes at her face again. “Crap, look at the state of me. Have I helped at all?”
I nod, althoug
h it isn’t strictly true.
“Do you think Dan will be okay? I hate the thought of him being here by himself, but I don’t know what to do while he’s on this path of destruction. I can’t let my kids see that. Too much damage has been done in our lives already.”
“Grief’s a funny thing. Maybe one day he will open up the front door and realise life is okay without his dad.” My heart ached so hard, I clutched at my chest.
“What if it’s Faith he’s grieving for? Then what will happen to us?”
My heart pinged again, for a totally different reason, but this time I shut it down. Some places it wasn’t safe to go.
Seven
Dan
The sound of muttering voices drifts through my sleep. Hell, that was a sleep; although the injection in the ass wasn’t particularly welcome. Short of the coma, that was the best sleep I’ve had in a while.
I listen to the hum of chatter, but I can’t make out any of the words. I want to get up, but I’m almost scared to look under the sheet. Vinny will be calling again soon, seeing if I’m down for this Friday coming.
I don’t know if I can take another round.
The thought dances a tantalising line in front of me.
The front door clicks, and light footsteps run up the stairs. When she slips in through the bedroom door, I’m almost surprised by how pleased I am to see her still here. I’m such a dick. I’m supposed to be cut up over my best friend chasing someone else, not chasing skirt from my sick bed.
“You’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Like an elephant sat its arse on my head and knocked me out for a few days.”
She grins, almost forgetfully, and it’s disarming.
“Just a few hours. I skimmed your notes; he gave you some morphine.” She hesitates, so I raise an eyebrow for her to continue. “He’s worried you're a druggie.”
“I’m not.”
“I know.”
“And pray tell, how do you know that?”
“I searched the place.”
“Rude!”
It’s her turn to lift a dark eyebrow.
“Would it matter if I was?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip and shrugs. “It just would.”
“You're still here though.”
“I told you. I need to work.”
“Is that what you were doing downstairs?”
“Sort of. I was talking to Abi. I wanted to get some history, and to see if she’d watch you tomorrow.”
Abi was here… and she didn’t come to check on me. That cuts.
“I’m guessing her nursing skills aren’t available?”
“Apparently not. Which means we have to get you up.”
I stare at her with wide eyes. “Do you know how much I hurt?”
“Suck it up.”
“Why do I have to get up? I am capable by myself.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Evidence says otherwise.”
“Oh fuck off. Why do you even care, anyway? Just leave me alone.”
“I can’t. You’ve ruined my dress, put me behind on my work, and now I’ve got to get back to my parents for a hellish dinner and be worried about what you're doing.”
“Just go away.”
Who the fuck does she think she is?
“No.”
“Darling, I can assure you I can find me a pretty nursemaid anywhere I like. Just pass me my phone and I’ll hook myself up.”
Her gaze narrows before she clears her expression and stalks for the chair I woke to find her in.
She opens her laptop and settles it on her lap. “Right, I need the names of all those who knew Faith at school.”
“Are you kidding? That was years ago!”
“It’s small community town, I doubt it’s that hard.” Her hand pauses, positioned over the keys as she looks at me expectantly.
“Bloody hell. I’ve just woken up. Can’t I have a coffee first?”
She smiles sweetly. “I’m sure one of your other nursemaids can get you a coffee. Now I’m here to work.”
Her point is clear, and I groan throwing myself back into the pillows.
What did I do to deserve this?
Scowling at the ceiling it’s almost impossible to forget the things I’ve done to deserve this.
I wasn’t much use, the painkillers kept me in relatively useless state. Not that I’m complaining, it was good not to hurt.
When the curtains are drawn, I blink in surprise. Flinging my arm above my head, I'm pleasantly surprised it doesn’t hurt as much as I’d expect. I’d put it on a comfortable seven on a pain scale of ten.
“So, this nursemaid of yours. Is she coming to look after you, or are you coming to London with me?”
I groan. It’s psycho Nurse Nightingale. “Please leave me alone.” I talk into the crook of my elbow. “I don’t know why you are doing this, but it’s torture.”
Fingers pull at my hand and shift my arm. My cock twitches which is really annoying. She’s just moving your hand, cowboy, settle down a notch. Reluctantly, I shift my gaze to her. She’s wearing one of my hoodies. Just one of my hoodies.
I can’t control myself, my gaze slips down her long legs.
“Just answer me. I’ve got a lot to do.” She’s all that to look at, but then she opens her mouth and ruins it all.
“Just leave me. For God's sake. I appreciate everything you’ve done, but I don’t need you to hang around here. You’re Elijah and Faith’s friend, not mine.”
“Oh, poor little diddums, does Danny boy not have any friends?”
“Shut it.”
She smirks, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Listen. I can’t leave you. I’m not going to explain why, or spill my guts to you, but I just can’t. Okay?”
“If he’s paid you to look after me, I’m going to murder him. Do you understand?”
She stares at me, that plump lip between her teeth, then her expression clears. “Oh, you think I’m here because Elijah has paid me to make sure you don’t top yourself. You think he’s trying to protect Faith?”
“He pays for everything else, doesn’t he? That’s how he gets what he wants.”
She laughs, throwing her head back, and I notice she isn’t wearing a scrap of make-up. She really is wearing nothing but my hoodie. I wonder if she’s got knickers on? I tilt my head to the side to catch a peek.
“You are such a child. Are you trying to see if I’m wearing knickers? Seriously, get a grip. No, Eli isn’t paying me. I don’t think he gives a shit about you apart from wishing you didn’t exist, and honestly, I think it’s pathetic you are both scrapping over Faith like a toy in a playground.”
“Hardly scrapping. I’ve never said more than a few words to the guy.” I scowl and fold my arms which makes her laugh louder.
“Oh, little man, you having a sulk there?”
“Fuck off.”
She turns back for the bedroom door, her long bare legs stretching the slender muscles as she walks.
“How long you going to be here for?” I call after her.
“As long as it takes.” She shuts the door, leaving me staring after her. How long what takes? I don’t know whether to be pissed or excited that she might be talking about me.
Getting out of bed isn’t easy, and I swear and curse my way through the whole ordeal. It’s just as well Dad isn’t here, the sheer volume of “Shit, Fucks,” escaping my mouth as I shift my way to the bathroom is impressive. Dad was only a fan of swearing if he was the one doing it. He always let Faith off though. She could get away with anything, but I always got a clip around the ear, even when I was bigger than him. “You’ve got to be a gentleman,” he’d always say.
Yeah, well that didn’t pan out, did it?
The shower helps and I stand under there until the water runs cold. Which takes five minutes. I’m guessing Psycho Nurse Nightingale already had her shower.
I wish she’d go and just let me get
on with it.
I wince my way downstairs and find her in the kitchen, still wearing my hoodie but now paired with Abi’s jeans. She catches me sweeping a glance over her outfit. “I really need to get some clothes.” She pushes a mug and a plate towards me. “Here, I made you breakfast.”
I can’t remember the last time someone made me breakfast. Bacon. Coffee. Two of my favourite things.
“You really don’t need to be here. Thanks for organising the doctor, I appreciate it, but I’m feeling better. You don’t have to feel obligated to stay.” Obligated? I take a bite of the bacon roll and almost splurge a load in my pants. Hell, that’s good.
“I told you, I need to work. Look at it as me using you while I stay down here.”
“Darling, if you want to use me, I can think of much better ways.”
She rolls her eyes at my comment.
I change the subject, probably less chance of my coming across as a total knobhead. “So, Abi came by? How is she?”
“Pissed at you.” Sienna takes a sip of her coffee and winces.
“I’ve got sugar.” I point at the cupboard where it’s still sat since Dad last had a coffee here.
“Yeah, I know. I’m trying to detox, so it’s black and…” her face is priceless, “disgusting, I’m not going to lie.” I chuckle as she grimaces one last time and then tips it down the sink.
“You really don’t need to detox.” Jesus, someone slap a plaster on my mouth.
She doesn’t say anything, well not about that anyway. “I’m going to drive us to London and then leave you at my flat while I go to my parents for afternoon lunch.”
“You don’t seem excited about the lunch. Why are you going?” I ask. I’m genuinely interested. Here, if you didn’t want to join in, you’d just shout down the stairs or call ahead. Your dinner would be waiting for you when you got back or wanted it. It worked both ways with me and Dad, then with Faith when she was here.
I really need to stop thinking about her. It’s like a fucking disease.
“My parents are trying to set me up with a guy I knew at Uni.”
